by Emma Lea
“You just have to choose not believe those things about yourself,” Kendra said.
“I don't think I can,” Georgie replied, her voice hitching.
Kendra huffed out a breath, crossing her arms over her chest and nailing Georgie with a narrow-eyed glare.
“Fine,” she said, “But for the record, I think you are making a huge mistake. You are letting your parents win again and losing the best thing that could have ever happened to you. That thing you tell yourself, that you aren't worthy of love? It's a lie that you are choosing to believe even when you know better. You may have had it rough growing up, but you are surrounded by people who care about you and you sitting there telling me I'm wrong to love you, that you are unlovable, that is disrespectful to me. I own my feelings, not you. I know you are scared to risk your heart on someone who seems so out of reach, but isn't it time you started to grow up and take some risks? He. Loves. You. You don't get to tell him he can't love you. You either choose to believe it and enjoy it for however long it lasts, or you choose to walk away and live in misery. But just remember, it is a choice and you're the one making it.”
She turned on her heel and walked out of the room leaving Georgie to gape after her. She had never picked Kendra as someone who believed in love and to hear her say all those things was a bit of a wakeup call. Was she brave enough to trust in love?
16
He had been travelling for twenty-six hours straight. The distances he had to fly in order to pursue his movie career was the worst thing about living in Australia. Most of the time he didn't mind, it was the cost of following his dream, but this time was different. This time every mile he travelled took him further away from the woman he loved and that was worse than jet lag.
The car picked him up from the airport and drove him to his hotel. He had left Oxley Crossing at seven in the morning yesterday, so his body was telling him it was nine in the morning, but the local time was one in the morning. Of course the driver and the doorman and the concierge were all awake to greet him and make sure he was looked after, but it all seemed so… ridiculous. He was just a man and yet they went out of their way to make him comfortable. Of course it was their job and they were getting paid for it, but still. It was one o’clock in the freaking morning and here they were treating him like royalty. It was kind of ridiculous, or that could just be the jet lag talking.
Jerry wanted him on set at ten, which meant he had nine hours to sleep, except he couldn't sleep. He'd just spent twenty-six hours on a plane, the last thing he wanted to do was sleep. He flopped down on the large bed in his room and stared at the ceiling. He wondered what Georgie was doing. He wondered if she knew that he had left town. He wondered if she was still mad at him.
He picked up his phone and scrolled through the photos he'd taken of her. She hated being photographed so some of them had had to be done secretly. They were his favourites. The ones when she wasn't aware of her photo being taken and she hadn't stiffened up or tried to pose. He missed her so much. He missed her laugh and the sound of her voice. He missed the goofy t-shirts she wore and the way her hair glowed in the sunlight.
He wanted to call her, to try again to get her to understand how he felt about her, but he knew she wouldn't answer his call. How had it come to this? The job he loved meant that he couldn't be with the woman he loved. Was it asking too much to be allowed to have both?
With a grunt and a sigh, he rolled off the bed and headed for the shower. He was torturing himself with thoughts of Georgie. The best thing for him was to forget about her. He had pleaded his case and there was nothing more to do. She had turned him down, it was time to stop wallowing in self-pity and move on. He had a movie to shoot and then his pet project to plan. There was more than enough work for him to get lost in.
The hot water helped to clear his mind and he crawled back into bed. He did some deep breathing exercises to help him relax enough so that he could perhaps get a few hours of sleep. The upcoming day wasn't going to be too taxing, but he wanted to beat the jet lag as soon as he could. That meant forcing his body into observing the local time, which meant he needed to sleep even though he felt like it was the middle of the day.
He sent a quick text to Gran, letting her know that he had arrived. She would let the rest of the family know, not that they always kept up with his schedule. It wasn't that they didn't care, just that he had such a crazy life that he wasn't an easy person to track.
He groaned. His life was crazy and he spent more time abroad than he did in the house he owned in Sydney. He had been an idiot thinking he could have a normal, steady relationship with Georgie. He'd had hearts in his eyes and hadn't seen the reality like she did. The two of them lived in different worlds; she'd seen it and tried to tell him, but he'd only had eyes for her. Now that he was back at work, he saw the impossibility of it all. If his own family couldn't keep up with his schedule, what hope did Georgie have?
It was just another reason why he had to get her out of his head. She had been right, there were too many obstacles for them to even begin to have a relationship. All he had to do now was to forget her. Forget the few weeks of blissful happiness. Forget the way she felt in his arms and the way her body moulded to his when he kissed her. He had to forget how all that golden hair felt in his hands and the way she looked sitting in his truck. Yeah. He just had to forget all that and then he might not go crazy being so far away from her.
“Whatcha looking at?” Millie asked coming up behind Georgie.
“Nothing,” she said, slamming the lid of the laptop shut.
“Stalking Connor?”
Georgie blushed. “No.”
“Liar,” Millie said with a grin.
Georgie sighed and opened the laptop. “They've released some stills from the movie. Look at him in costume.”
“Yowsa,” Millie said, “He looks good as a royal.”
Georgie closed the laptop again. “I'm an idiot, aren't I?”
Millie put her arm around Georgie. “No, honey, you're a survivor. You did what you needed to do to survive. I get it, I do. Could you have made it work with him? Who’s to say? Nothing is guaranteed in life, you know that.”
“But I didn't really give us a chance. That's not surviving, that's being a coward.”
“Maybe, but it's too late now.”
Millie was right. It was too late. Connor had been gone for six weeks and in that time she hadn't heard a peep from him. After he left her at Cooringah Downs, she had turned on her phone and read all his messages and listened to all the voicemails he'd left and cried herself to sleep. She woke early, determined to make things right with him, but by the time she got back to town, he'd already left. She had vowed that if he called or texted her she would answer and at least open the lines of communication up again. But there had been nothing but dead air. Radio silence. She had resorted to cyber stalking him, soaking up every little bit of news she could find about him. It was pathetic but she couldn't stop.
“Do you have Book Club today?” Millie asked.
“Yeah,” she replied.
Book Club was back in the shop now that Dawn’s leg had healed, which suited Georgie just fine. Being in Dawn’s house hurt too much; it was cloaked with memories of Connor. Not that her shop was much better since he had spent a lot of time there with her, but the memories weren't as poignant and there weren't photos of him scattered about like at Dawn’s.
Georgie walked to the back of the store and began setting up the chairs. They had moved on from ‘A Royal Engagement’ and were on to a pick by one of the other ladies. ‘The Second Chance Tea Shop’ by Fay Keenan was bittersweet, but she just couldn't get into it. Not that she didn't like the book, it was more that she didn't want to read about other people finding their true love when she was recovering from a broken heart. She would much rather have read something a little grittier, a horror story perhaps. Except that the Bookish Book Club only read romances, so she was stuck.
The ladies began arriving and Georgie force
d her thoughts away from Connor and on to the job at hand. As hard as it was to focus, she knew it was imperative that she not give away just how upset she was. Dawn was like a bloodhound when it came to stuff like that and the last thing she wanted was for Connor’s grandmother to know she was pining after him… even if she was.
Once the ladies had settled, each with the cup of either tea or coffee and a muffin, all eyes turned to Dawn.
“So,” Maureen said, “Tell us what the latest is with Connor.”
This was why Georgie hadn’t abandoned Book Club. Every week for the last six weeks, Dawn had given them an update on where he was and what he was doing, even going so far as to read out snippets of his emails to them. Georgie unashamedly hung on every word. She was grateful that none of the Book Club ladies had questioned her about what had happened between herself and Connor, though the first week she received a lot of pitying and forlorn looks, which she tried hard to ignore. They knew there was more to the story that Connor had told the press. They had all witnessed the two of them ‘courting,’ for want of a better word. Thankfully no one had come outright and asked what happened and any queries regarding Connor were directed to Dawn.
“He’s tired,” Dawn said, looking at her. “The schedule has been gruelling as they try and get it in the can by the studio’s deadline. Apparently Laura Lovey has a commitment that clashes with the shooting, so they’re having to work around that too.”
“The photos online look amazing,” Kendra said.
The ladies turned to her. “There are photos online?”
She nodded. “The studio has released some stills of the characters in costume. It all looks beautiful and, well, lush. Just as you would expect a movie about royals would be.”
“Connor sent me a photo,” Dawn said, passing around her phone so everyone could see.
Georgie was the last one to get the phone and she stared down at the man that could have been hers and felt her heart break all over again. He was smiling at the camera wearing full formal regalia including the sash and star of his character’s title. His dirty blonde hair had been darkened to match the description of Will that was in the book and it looked good on him. He was clean shaven and appropriately coiffed and Georgie hungered to touch him, to just be near him again, to hear his voice and have him smile at her.
A tear splashed onto the screen and she realised that she was crying. She sniffed and looked up. Every eye was on her and the faces surrounding her were arranged in pitying masks. She stood abruptly and shoved the phone in Dawn’s hand, making her escape to the back office. She couldn’t sit there and have them look at her like that. Their pity only drove home what an idiot she had been and she didn’t need to see it, especially since she knew just what a fool she’d been.
17
Of all the things Dawn Hawkins was, stupid wasn’t one of them. Nor was she oblivious to what was going on between Connor and Georgie. She knew her grandson and she knew he was hurting. She didn’t know Georgie as well as she knew Connor, but anyone with a pair of eyes could see that she was also hurting. It made her mad to think of the two of them throwing away something that could be so precious over an obstacle that they could traverse if they just put their heads together.
While the other ladies tittered about what a mess Georgie was, Dawn put her thinking cap on. There had to be a way to get the two of them back together, but for that to happen they needed to at least be in the same hemisphere, the same time zone or preferably the same town. Connor still had a month of filming to do, but if they waited that long then there would be far too much baggage between them. Six weeks of this nonsense was long enough and if she could at least get them sitting opposite one another for a decent conversation, then maybe, just maybe they would be able to work out their differences.
She looked over at Kendra, the only Book Club member that wasn’t gossiping about Georgie and who was also giving her a narrow-eyed stare. That girl was far too observant for her own good. Dawn shot her a grin and Kendra raised an eyebrow in challenge. Taking a deep breath, Dawn stood, raised the back of her hand to her forehead and in a swoon worthy of Scarlet O’Hara, she fell to the ground in a faux faint.
“Oh my God,” Kendra said, playing her part well. “Dawn, are you okay? Quick, someone get Georgie!”
The ladies all stood and gasped and Dawn lay still trying really hard not to smirk. She heard someone calling the ambulance and then Georgie was there, crouching over her, feeling for a pulse in her wrist and speaking softly to her.
“Dawn. Dawn. Can you hear me?”
“Connor?” she croaked, fluttering her eyes. It was a performance worthy of an Oscar nomination. Connor wasn’t the only one in the family who could act. Dawn had done her fair share of treading the boards in local community theatre when she was younger. It wasn’t a skill that was easily lost.
“Dawn, it’s me Georgie,” the poor girl said, cupping her face and trying to look into her eyes.
“Georgie? Where’s Connor?”
“Oh, hun, he’s overseas filming, remember?”
“He’s not here?”
“You just hang tight,” she said, “The ambulance will be here soon and they’ll get you fixed right up.”
“You’ll let Connor know though?” she asked weakly, “He’ll need to let the rest of the family—”
“Don’t you worry about a thing,” Kendra said, “Georgie will call Connor right now and we’ll get someone from your family here as soon as possible.”
“Thank you dear,” she said, looking at Kendra who was shaking her head subtly in admiration.
She resisted the urge to wink at her and instead closed her eyes and waited for the paramedics. It was a cruel trick, but desperate times called for desperate measures. She knew Connor and she was confident that he would drop everything to come back and check on her. She didn’t care that she was screwing with the shooting of his movie, his love life was more important.
The ladies fussed over her as she lay quietly until the paramedics arrived.
“How’re you feeling Mrs. Hawkins?”
Dawn fluttered her eyes open and looked up at the man bending over her while the other paramedic put a blood pressure cuff on her arm.
“A bit light headed,” she said, “And Daniel Wellington you know damned well I’ve asked you to call me Dawn.”
He grinned down at her. “You sure sound like you’re none too worse for wear, but we’re going to take you in to the clinic just in case, okay?”
“Is that really necessary?” she asked, realising fainting might not have been the ideal thing to do.
“Yes, ma’am,” he said as he helped her to sit and then stand. He supported her as he led her over to the gurney and helped her up onto it. She actually did feel a little lightheaded.
“Oh all right then,” she said, lying back on the stretcher. “I’m sure I’m fine, though. I just got up a bit too quick.”
“Be that as it may, my Gran would give me an earful if I didn’t make sure I got you checked out.”
“Your Gran is a good woman,” Dawn said, “I wish she’d come to town more often.”
“Her and Pops are living the life on the high seas and having a ball.”
She smiled, “That’s great.”
“Now you just relax and let us take care of you.”
Kendra stepped up beside the stretcher and touched her hand. “Are you sure you’re all right?” she asked in a whisper.
Dawn patted her hand, “I’m fine. Just make sure Georgie calls Connor. If I know my grandson he will be back here by tomorrow and then they can finally get this whole thing sorted out.”
Kendra sighed. “I want to be you when I grow up,” she said and Dawn winked at her.
“Hi Kendra,” Daniel said and Dawn’s antenna went up.
“Dan,” Kendra replied coolly and then walked away.
Interesting, Dawn thought as they wheeled her out of the book shop and into the waiting ambulance.
Georgie held her phone
in her hand and paced around her small office. She knew she had to call Connor. It was Dawn’s wish that she let him know, but she had to psyche herself up to do so. She was both parts happy and terrified to speak to him. She looked at the time and did a quick calculation. It was two in the afternoon here and Geneva was eight hours behind so that meant it would be about six in the morning. Was that too early to call or did a family member fainting in her store circumvent social conventions with regards to the appropriate time to call?
Her vocabulary got real big when she was nervous, even in her brain, like she was trying to hide behind the five dollar words. She huffed out a breath and banged her head on the nearest wall. She could do this. She had to do this. Dawn needed her to do this.
That took the pressure off a bit. It wasn’t like she was just calling him out of the blue for no rhyme or reason. Dawn had specifically asked her to call him, Dawn needed her to call him. This had nothing to do with their personal history, this was all about Dawn and what she needed right now. Okay. She could do this.
“Have you called him yet?”
Georgie jumped and spun around to face Kendra.
“Not yet,” she said, “You do it.”
Kendra held her hands up and backed away.
“No way, José,” she said, “That’s all you, babe.”
“Okay,” Georgie said with a resigned sigh, “Here goes.”
She found Connor’s name in her contacts and pressed the dial button, lifted it to her ear and then hung up before it had even started ringing.
“I can’t do this,” she said, feeling like she was going to hyperventilate or throw up or both.
“Yes, you can,” Kendra said coming into the room and closing the door behind her. “The paramedics have taken Dawn to the clinic to be checked out. You need to let her family know what’s going on and that means contacting Connor.”
