He glanced up and saw the way she sat there, her long brown hair pulled back in that tight ponytail she customarily wore, her face free of makeup… And she was looking at him with the most earnest expression he’d ever seen.
He couldn’t lie to her. He couldn’t. That would make him worse than his father had been.
“I don’t know. I want you. I want to see you again. The thought of being with another woman doesn’t interest me. You’re the only one I want. Can I say if that’s because this has been a crappy year or if I’m finally maturing? No. I won’t lie to you, darling. I just don’t know more than that.”
She shifted forward in her chair. “Last Stand is a small community, Finn. You know that we can’t start something without people noticing. I just don’t want to look like a fool.”
He didn’t want that either. Damn. Never in his life had he felt so unsure. He had always just taken what he wanted and rode out on a cloud of dust when things ended. But Lancey had a point. This was their hometown. She wasn’t a woman he could visit without someone noticing. His brothers would know. Braden, who loved Lancey like she was his sister, would know. And he wouldn’t tolerate Finn hurting her.
Finn didn’t want that.
Could he be the kind of man that she needed?
“I get it,” he said. “I never want you to feel bad about anything between us. I shouldn’t have left that morning without a word, but I have trouble talking about my feelings. I’m just not that kind of man, you know?”
She nodded. “Yeah, I do. I’m not asking you to suddenly be Mr. Romance. The women in my family are strong and have gotten along fine without a man, in every generation. But if you are going to be with me, at least let’s give it a good shot. I don’t mind if you want to hook up because you’re not sure what’s going on and we’re attracted to each other. That’s one thing. But if you want to date and have a relationship, make sure that’s what you want. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“Don’t mess with your heart,” he said. He wasn’t even sure he could. She was strong, way stronger than he was. She’d never be sitting in front of a bottle of tequila battling her demons. She’d face them head-on and fight them until she had no fight left in her.
He wanted her and she looked like the only path out of this darkness that was threatening him.
“Exactly,” she said, standing up and walking over to sit down next to him. “So, what’s it going to be? Friends with benefits or something more?”
He’d been accused his entire life of being too fast to stay in Last Stand, of running through life at three hundred miles per hour. But at this moment, standing stock still in a hotel room with Lancey Maverick, he realized that he’d been going in circles, showing off and pretending that he could handle whatever hazard might show up on the road in front of him. And he had only just realized what a load of crap that was.
She was watching him, almost daring him to take a chance on her. He’d never been able to resist a challenge, but he knew from watching Cal and Amelia fall for each other that love shouldn’t be a challenge. Should it?
He had no clue. He only knew he needed to make changes in his life…and he definitely wanted to be more than her booty call. If he could figure out where this detour was taking him and Lancey, maybe everything would fall into place.
“Something more,” he said. “But you have to know I’m new at this.”
“What makes you think I’m not?” she asked.
“Damn, darling, you always surprise me.”
“That’s because you don’t know me.”
*
“Yet,” he said. “I don’t know you yet.”
She couldn’t believe what she’d just done, how she’d asked him for clarity, and he’d given it. She had never been in a steady relationship because she was on deployment and to be honest, she had no idea what one would look like. Her dad had split after TJ had been born, and Lancey scarcely remembered him. Gramps had been gone long before she’d been born. So she’d never had that nuclear family image in her head as something she wanted. But she had to admit, being back in Last Stand, being alone, had made her realize that she wanted more than just herself.
Not because she couldn’t handle life on her own but because as Delilah had proven, when she’d invited her out to the Dragonfly, life was nicer with others in it. She wanted to start making real bonds with others. Not just Red and Braden. Because as strong as their friendship was, she was realizing with Lane that she needed something more. She hated that.
But there it was. She missed her mom and Gran and she had no close women friends. She’d always been more comfortable either by herself or with the guys. But with Finn, it was different. He made her aware of being a woman. And not just for taking care of her sexual needs.
When he’d said he wanted more, she couldn’t help pushing for what she sort of wanted. Maybe it had been hidden deep inside forever, or maybe it was having Lane in her life. Looking after her nephew had already made her rethink not having kids. Who knew?
It seemed to her that lately the more she tried to make plans for her life, the more the universe laughed and said yeah, right.
“Yet. You make that sound so tantalizing,” she said. “What if you don’t like me? What if I don’t like you?”
He started laughing. “Then hopefully, we can go back to being friends. Neither of us has to sneak out in the middle of the night. I think we’ll be able to make this work on our terms.”
She liked the sound of that. “I don’t have any examples of what a couple should be. My mom and Gran were all I had, and in the Marines, I was part of a unit not a couple.”
“Me too. I think I was always sort of leery of getting involved like that because it seemed like it wasn’t for me. But I have to say—and I’ll deny this if you repeat it because Cal will give me shit for it—seeing him and Amelia get together and how it made Cal…well happier? I wouldn’t mind that.”
She smiled. She knew what he meant. Cal had a way of being right and then reminding everyone that he was right, in the nicest possible way. “I won’t tell him. But I get what you’re saying. Okay. So, we are doing this?”
“Yeah, I think we are,” he said. “So…”
So? Did he want to have sex with her? Was that what he wanted? She wasn’t sure she could get comfortable with Lane sleeping in the other room.
“Yes?” she asked.
“Tell me something I don’t know about you,” he said.
“I applied for a job at the police office,” she said. “Also, I just agreed to hang out with Delilah and her friends.”
He smiled at her and her heart started racing. Maybe she could fool around with him a little bit even if Lane was in the other room.
“That’s good,” he said. “I’ll have to figure out what I’m going to do. I’m on extended medical leave, but driving is pretty cutthroat. I know my team manager wants to have a driver who can win and that means driving every week, so I don’t know where that leaves me. Even if I get healthy again this season…I just don’t know.”
She realized he couldn’t talk about it. She shifted closer to him and gave him a hug. She meant for it to be a quick show of comfort but she sort of fell into him and her hand brushed over his groin. Then she tried to get up but ended up sort of petting his crotch. She felt his erection grow under her hand and shifted away from him.
“That wasn’t what I intended to do,” she said.
“I liked it.”
“I could tell,” she said. “I wanted to hug you and let you know it will be all right. When I asked for early discharge, I had no idea what was waiting for me. Hell, I still don’t know, but I’ve found that it’s not the end of the world when you change careers. I think…it might even lead to better things. Different things, for sure.”
“Different things?”
“Yes. Like you and me and Lane taking a two-day road trip. That’s not something either of us planned on, is it?”
“No. It’s not,” he sai
d. “You know what?”
“What?” she asked, as she crossed her legs underneath her and turned to face him. She was closer than before and noticed the way he had sunlines around his eyes and how they crinkled when he smiled. He really was almost too gorgeous for her to look at. It had been easier when she’d been ticked off at him, or when she’d been negotiating with him. But now that she’d accidentally turned him on, and she was so close she could feel his body heat, she couldn’t help but feel all warm and gooey inside. The way he’d made her feel under the moon on that night.
“I want to kiss you,” he said.
“Good. I want that, too,” she responded.
Chapter Nine
She straddled him on the couch. The sound of the television was muted in the background and she felt the same way she had that first night under the moon and the branches of the oak tree. Finn was different here in California. He was angry and moody but there was more to it.
He was confident and sexy, something he’d been that night in Last Stand, but something else was going on with him too. He seemed…well, human. Before she’d looked at him and seen the sexy racing god that he was. But now, she saw his vulnerability. When he’d spoken about his team manager wanting to win, she’d heard something in his voice that she’d never heard before—something close to fear.
Finn Delaney was many things, but scared wasn’t one of them. So she suspected what she was hearing was more deep-down rage at not being able to do what he loved.
Lancey knew that something wasn’t right with Finn, but as he put his hands on her backside and leaned in closer to kiss her, she didn’t question it. She wanted to find out if that incredible night had been a fluke. Maybe because she’d been too long without a partner. And while her vibrator was good, it hadn’t even come close to the orgasm she’d had with Finn.
Finn’s hands on her back felt solid and strong. She knew this was happening but it also felt like a dream. She’d been living half in the real world, half in this fantasy since she’d driven to Devil’s Rock, gotten on the jet and flown to California. This wasn’t her reality. While being a mom to Lane wasn’t in her wheelhouse either, this kind of jet-set lifestyle was completely foreign to her. This luxury suite wasn’t suited for her any more than Finn was—at least the Finn he used to be. He might have suggested they date and figure things out later, but she knew that this could only be temporary. Still, she intended to enjoy it.
He tugged her shirt from the waistband of her trousers and she felt the coolness of the air-conditioning on her skin before the heat of his hands on her back. His mouth hovered closer to her own but he made no move to kiss her, just kept eye contact with her. The intensity of his gaze made her shiver. She put her hands over his, stopping him from lifting her shirt. Now that they were doing it, she wasn’t as confident as she’d been earlier.
“Are you sure about this?” she asked, putting her hands on either side of his face. His gray eyes were mysterious as she searched for answers. She pushed herself to her feet and walked a few feet away from him, standing in front of the plate glass windows that looked over the rolling hills of Southern California.
“More sure than I am of anything else,” he said, coming up behind her. He put his hands under her T-shirt to rest on her stomach, then dropped his head on her shoulder. She stood stock still, enjoying the heat of his body against hers, the feel of him so solid against her. She remembered this. She’d thought she’d simply dreamed it when they’d slept together but now knew she hadn’t imagined it.
They fit perfectly together. She wanted to believe it was something that would be mirrored in their real lives, but she was afraid she was deluding herself. Finding someone to share this road she was on, one where she had no idea where it led, was just wishful thinking on her part. She wanted to just let go and enjoy her time with him, but she’d done that the first time they’d slept together. Then, it had been spontaneous, meant to be a one-time thing, but this—this couldn’t just be written off as a wild night. This was them both consciously deciding to be lovers.
He turned her in his arms, and she let him. When they were facing each other, she realized that he was quite a bit taller than her. Funny that she hadn’t realized that before. But he hadn’t held her this close last time. Not like this.
He gave her that rakish half smile of his before tracing his thumb over her lower lip.
“I’ve been thinking of your mouth,” he said. “It turns me on.”
“It does? Thank you,” she stammered, not sure what to make of him. The men she’d been with before Finn had been all about getting the job done. But this…
He gave a small laugh, and as he moved, he dipped his thumb into her mouth. “No problem. I have to admit it did get me into an uncomfortable situation during the driver’s meeting on Monday.”
“Finn.”
“All I could think about was kissing you again. But we’d said it was a one-time thing,” he said.
“I’ve thought about kissing you again, too,” she admitted.
He lowered his head slowly as he drew his finger from her mouth. He blocked out the light from the room and she felt her eyes start to close as his mouth touched hers. It was firm and full and oh, so delicious. He took his time kissing her and it was exactly what she wanted. He rubbed his lips back and forth over hers lightly until she parted her own, and then he exhaled into her mouth before his tongue rubbed over hers. The taste of him was more addictive than the premium Outlaw Tequila his family made. She craved more of his taste, and she opened her mouth wider to beckon him in.
He tasted of mint and man. She had missed this. How could she miss a one-night stand? But she had. She rubbed her tongue over his teeth before pushing in further. He closed his teeth carefully over her tongue and sucked on her. She shuddered in his arms, and using his shoulders for balance, she went up on her tiptoes to taste him more deeply.
He was dangerous. Not like his outlaw ancestors, but in a more insidious way. He made her long for things she’d never even known she wanted. And she liked it. She wanted more of him, wanted more from him than just super-hot kisses and red-hot sex.
She forced those thoughts aside. She’d just have to take it one night at a time. That was the only way she’d get through this. With her hands on his shoulders, she reached around to touch the hair at the nape of his neck. She ran her fingers through the strands, loving how silky smooth they were.
She felt him tracing a tantalizing pattern over her stomach and midriff with his fingers, then he dipped lower, toward the waistband of her pants. She sucked her stomach in and his touch moved south, his fingers deftly undoing the button fastener before moving lower. He cupped her mound and she parted her legs to give him better access.
She trembled and pulled her mouth back. He wriggled his eyebrows at her and then lifted his hand, pulling her T-shirt up and over her head. He threw it over his shoulder and then turned his attention to her breasts.
“I like this bra,” he said.
“I’m glad. I bought it with you in mind,” she admitted. She’d picked it up on a shopping trip after she’d realized how plain and boring her undergarments were. Finn had made her more aware of her body and when she was with him, she wanted to show it off to its best advantage.
“See, you knew once wouldn’t be enough, too,” he said, his fingers tracing a deliberate pattern over the globes of her breasts. The bra she wore had demi-cups and when she’d put it on, she’d realized she liked the shape of her body. She’d always been proud of her strength but never really aware of her femininity. Finn moved his fingers over her breasts, dipping beneath the material of her bra, and brushing over the edge of her nipple.
Exquisite shivers racked her body as he touched her. He reached around behind her and undid the clasp of her bra and then slowly drew it off her body. Once the material fell away, he took her wrists in his hands and moved a half step backward, holding her arms out to her sides.
She had always worked hard to keep in shape and sh
e was very glad of that fact when she saw the way he looked at her. His gaze took in all of her, his eyes gleaming with appreciation.
He wrapped his hands around her waist and drew her to him, lifting her, but then stumbled for a minute. “Dammit. Wrap your legs around me.”
“I can walk.”
“No. I want to do it like this,” he said, turning so that his back was against the windows.
His mouth was on her breasts, his hands on her butt and he suckled her gently, nibbling at her nipples with his mouth as he massaged her backside. When he took her into his mouth, she felt everything inside of her tighten and her center grow moist.
He groaned and then she felt the world swirling around her as he turned and lowered them both to the floor. The carpet beneath her back was soft compared to the hardness of Finn. His mouth…oh God, she couldn’t even think. Sensation after sensation washed over her as he continued to suckle on her.
One of his heavy thighs parted her legs and nudged them apart and then he was between them. She felt the ridge of his cock rubbing against her pleasure center and she shifted against him to increase his touch where she needed it the most.
She wanted to touch him, had to hold him to her as his mouth moved from her breast down over her ribs and abdomen and to her belly button. He looked up at her and for a moment, she saw something almost feral in his eyes.
She realized he was trying to prove something to himself. She touched him then, held his face in her hands and lifted herself up to kiss him.
He lowered his head and nibbled at the skin of her belly, his tongue tracing the indentation of her belly button. Each time he dipped his tongue into her, she could almost feel her clit tingle. She shifted her hips to rub against him and he answered her with a thrust of his own hips.
Full Texas Throttle (The Dangerous Delaneys Book 2) Page 8
