by L. M. Reid
Nothing about tonight has gone as I thought it would. After our day in court I wanted to go home, sulk in my misery, and drink away the bad aftertaste defending Ivan leaves me. Ashlynn surprised the hell out of me though, whisking me off, making me feel something besides disgust for what I am doing. No, she made me feel better and even more – loved. I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that she told me she loved me. I want to revel in it. I want to hear her repeat the words and words with that light-hearted laugh she had earlier.
Instead, were in her car, heading to the hospital, while I hope and pray my mother at least holds on until I get there.
I reach for Ashlynn’s hand and squeeze it. She’s been silent the entire ride just letting me handle this how I need to.
She gives me a weak smile. “Do you want to talk about it?” she asks.
I do, I just don’t know how much I can tell her. I want to be honest with her, let her know why I actually showed up at Cahill, Cahill, and Associates. Not yet though, and not like this. God my head is so fucked right now. Stick to the basics, Gray. Give her what you can without letting her know why.
“My mom, she’s been sick for a long time. A lot of different things, but mostly it’s her mind. She has dementia and it’s been getting worse lately. So, when the phone rang, I was hoping it was just another episode.”
“But it isn’t?”
I shake my head. “No. She had… she had a massive heart attack.”
She squeezes my hand tighter. “Oh, God, Gray. I’m so sorry.”
I continue, “They were able to revive her, but they, uh… I don’t think she’s going to pull out of this. I just need to get there. I don’t want her to be alone if she…”
I stop, unable to say the words.
“She won’t be. We’ll get there Gray,” Ashlynn assures me.
“You think I would be used to this by now,” I say trying to focus on the road and her voice to keep me sane. “All the late night calls, the scares. It’s hard because, well, she’s all I have.”
“That’s not true; you have me.”
I smile slightly, unable to not. “I am so grateful for that. You have no idea.”
“What about Brayden? You guys seem pretty close.”
“Why do you say that? Because he wouldn’t spill my secrets to you?” I actually find myself laughing recalling Brayden telling me the other day about Ashlynn trying to pry into my past. Her mouth drops open from my comment, but she doesn’t speak. “You could have just asked me, you know.”
“I didn’t want to pry,” she says sheepishly.
“As far as Brayden goes, I love him, I do. But let’s face it, B is about as self-involved as they come. Plus he spends most of his time with his lips on my father’s ass.”
“What is the deal with you and your dad?”
“You have a few days?” I joke, though the laundry list of reasons I hate my father is pretty extensive.
“If that’s what it takes. Come on Gray, talk to me.”
“Why do I hate my dad? Well, let’s start with the small stuff. He made it clear when we were kids that Brayden was his favorite. B got whatever he wanted while I, on the other hand, had to earn it. They often did things together, baseball games, playing catch, whatever and rarely included me. So, I ended up spending a lot of time with my mom. Don’t get me wrong, I love my mom and knowing what I do now, I wouldn’t have changed a minute of it. But, all we had was each other. Watching him treat her the way he did, without being able to do anything about it… my anger toward him grew.”
“What did he do?”
If I tell her anymore, she’ll see right through me and figure out what I’m actually up to. I can’t let that happen. Once I have what I need, I’ll tell her, make sure that she’s protected from anything he’s done – and anything he has on her.
“Gray, where did you just go there?”
“Nowhere, sorry. My mom, she was an amazing woman; strong, smart, and successful. Little by little he tore her down. He controlled her, removed her from the business, turned her into a shell of the woman she once was. Still, she tried desperately to please him, to make him love her. But he cheated, broke her heart, and left her to deteriorate.” I pull my hand from Ashlynn’s hold and rub it over my face. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be dumping this on you.”
“Yes, you should be, considering I love you,” she reminds me and at just the right time, too.
I squeeze her hand again. “I love you.”
“Tell me about your mom. What is she like?”
I shake my head and smile. “She is amazing. She wasn’t one of those moms that was just there to be a parent and raise us. She played with us, whatever it was we were into at the time.” I laugh thinking of the car sounds she used to make when I played with my Hot Wheels and the amazing things we would build with Legos. “She was a great mom. And from what I’ve heard, she was a pretty damn good attorney, too.”
“Attorney?” she asks.
I stepped into a hole and now I can’t get out without telling her the truth. I may be keeping some things from her, but I won’t flat out lie to her.
“She was the original second Cahill in Cahill, Cahill, and Associates. Until he drove her out.”
“Drove her out?” she asks.
I nod. “I don’t really remember much about it, but I do know that mom was a great attorney and little by little she was home more, until suddenly her clients were all gone. Dad took her cases, or gave them to Alec, and made her believe that it was her fault. He told her she failed, made her doubt herself.”
Just as Ashlynn is about to ask something, the hospital comes into sight. I am so grateful for the reprieve on the questioning and that I get to see my mom.
I park the car and head directly into the Emergency Room and straight to the Nurse’s Station. “I need to see Elizabeth Cahill,” I tell the Nurse.
Despite my protests, my mother refused to change her name back to West. That didn’t stop me though. I wanted nothing to do with the son-of-a-bitch.
“She’s in with the doctor, please have a seat,” the Nurse responds.
Obviously, she doesn’t know who she’s dealing with. “Tell me where she is before your job is mine and you are…”
“Grayson,” Ashlynn scolds, her hands pulling me back from the counter. She turns to the nurse and thanks her, shoving me in the direction of the seats. “I know you’re upset, but threatening the nurse isn’t going to do anyone any good.”
Just because she’s right doesn’t mean I have to like it. And it certainly doesn’t mean that I have to listen.
“I just need to see her, let her know I’m here.”
“Sit tight,” she says. She stands from the seat she took next to me and heads back to the nurse’s station. I watch as she talks to her. The normal brazen woman I am used to dealing with looks seemingly sweet and innocent; a far cry from the woman whose legs were damn near behind her head demanding that I fuck her only hours ago.
It certainly isn’t a wholesome image, but damn if it doesn’t do wonders to calm my nerves at the moment.
Out of pure instinct, I lick my lips as she approaches. “She’s in room six. We can’t go in, but we can see through the window. If we are not back in two minutes, she will have us tossed from the hospital. Can you handle that?” She’s standing in front of me with her hands on her hips.
“Thank you,” I tell her as I nod.
She walks quietly next to me as we make our way to the exam room. Room six. I mentally prepare myself for the sight I am about to see, but my worst-case scenario is nothing compared to the reality. She looks like she’s dying, pale skin with tubes and wires everywhere. Doctors work diligently around her. Whatever happened when they called, it's worse now. If whatever they are doing doesn’t work, she’s gone.
I rest my forehead and hand on the window, the closest I can get to letting her know I’m here. Christ, I just want to hold her hand, tell her it is okay. Fuck, I hate seeing her like this.
I don’t want to leave. I need to stay, to be close to her. But I promised Ashlynn. Two minutes. Two minutes that felt more like two short seconds.
“Let them do their job, Gray. Come on,” she encourages.
I sit in the waiting room, head in my hands, Ashlynn’s hand rubbing my back. It feels like it’s been an eternity since I walked back there and saw her. She’s not going to make it. If she were it wouldn’t take this long. Minutes continue to pass.
“Grayson,” a voice calls out to me.
I look up and see Daphne, decked out in a ball gown, rushing toward me. I stand and wrap my arms around her as she reaches me.
“Christ, Daph, she has to be okay,” I tell her, holding her tightly.
Her hands run up and down my back. “I’m going to change and I will get in there.” I release her from the embrace.
I look up to talk to Ashlynn, but she’s gone. I see her standing by the vending machines, her leg bouncing as she looks at the selections. I make my way over to her, my hand resting on the small of her back.
“Daphne is my mom’s doctor – and a friend,” I tell her. “Nothing more.”
“You don’t have to…”
“The look on your face says I do.” I’m scared to death about what’s going to happen to my mom, if she’s going to make it or not, but this little interaction, Ashlynn’s jealousy, it’s the break I need. “I swear, nothing ever happened between Daphne and I.”
“You have more important things to worry about,” she says.
“You, Sweetheart, are important, too.”
She gives me a chaste kiss and wraps her arms around my waist, her head resting on my chest. I take solace in the comfort that her embrace gives me. Until I see the look on Daphne’s face as she walks toward us.
“How is she?” I ask.
“Let’s sit,” Daphne replies.
“Just tell me, Daphne,” I demand.
“It’s not good, Grayson.”
That much I already know. What I need to know is just how bad it is. Looking at her though, I think I have my answer. “She’s not going to make it, is she?”
“I can’t say for sure, but I’m sorry, it’s not likely.”
I hear her words, I even understand most of them, but I can’t process them. I can’t allow myself to believe that she isn’t going to make it out of this. That because of the coma that they put her in I may never hear her voice again or see her smile. That, that is what I cannot understand.
“Do you have any questions?” Daphne asks after going over the details of my mother’s condition.
Ashlynn’s looking at me expectantly, as if I am going to ask the doctor numerous questions, get additional information, and demand that she survives. And as much as I would like to do that last part, I know I can’t. I know it’s out of her hands.
“May I see her now?”
“Of course. They’re moving her to the Intensive Care Unit, room eight. She should be ready in about ten minutes.”
At least I get to see her, at least I’ll have a chance to say goodbye.
“Is there anything else I can do, Grayson?” Daphne asks.
I thank her again for coming, for ditching her date and the event she was at.
“I love her, too, Grayson,” she says with a smile. “Walk me out?”
“I’ll be right back,” I tell Ashlynn. She nods with a soft smile.
“Is this the woman? The one that has you all tied up in knots?” Daphne asks as we walk toward the emergency room exit.
I chuckle. “The one and only.”
“I like her,” she says.
“You barely spoke to her,” I laugh.
“True, but you did that thing again.”
“What thing?” I ask confused by her statement.
“You smiled,” she teases with a wink of her eye. “Keep doing it. That’s what your mom would want.”
Daphne places a kiss on my cheek and heads out.
I rush back to Ashlynn, needing to get to the ICU and see my mother.
I pull the keys out of my pocket and extend them to Ashlynn. “Here, take these. Go home and get some sleep.”
“Grayson West, you are absolutely insane if you think I’m leaving you tonight.”
I touch her beautiful face. “I appreciate that Sweetheart, but I’m planning on going in her room and staying there. Go, get some rest. I’ll call you later,” I tell her.
I place the keys in her hand and close her hand around them before I walk away.
38
Ashlynn
I pace the waiting room, unsure what to do. Grayson is at his mother’s bedside and I’m not family, so I’m not allowed in the ICU. But I can’t leave him here alone. What if something were to happen? What if she were to deteriorate further? I could never live with myself if he had to go through that all alone.
Per his request, I shot Brayden a text from his phone while we drove. He was clearly concerned and said he was on his way. He should be here momentarily I would assume. Maybe it’s best if I leave. If Brayden’s here, at least Gray won’t be alone. Me staying? Well, that could add a complication to this mess that we don’t need.
Brayden may think he knows what’s going on between Grayson and I but coming here would cement it. At least I think we can trust Brayden; he seems to have Gray’s back. After all, he did rat me out to him. Ugh… I can just picture the smug look on Gray’s face when Brayden told him.
After our conversation on the ride here, I’m even more certain that Grayson has an ulterior motive for being here. I’m also starting to believe that whatever Elliott did to Elizabeth Cahill, he’s trying to do it to me. It’s nothing specific, just a feeling in my gut. I couldn’t tell Gray that. Not when his focus needs to be on his mother.
I settle myself onto the couch in the waiting room. The look on his face when he talked about her… no, I’m not going anywhere. I am staying right here. Because I love him and that is what you do for people you love. You stand by their side. You don’t abandon them and leave them to fend for themselves.
Gray has always been there for me. He never lets me falter and when I do, he picks me up and reminds me how amazing I am.
I close my eyes, a smile on my lips. I love Grayson West. I just hope he knows how much.
39
Grayson
I sit next to my mother’s bed, her frail hand in mine. I don’t know what it is, but I can almost feel her slipping away as I do. She’s not pulling out of this and despite how much I’m going to miss her, I can’t say I’m sorry. She’s suffered for so long. At least now, maybe, she can be at peace.
At some point I doze off and when I wake up, my body stiff and tense. I get up from my seat, kiss her forehead, and walk out of the room. I need to stretch and get some coffee. As I walk past the waiting room, I glance to my right and see Ashlynn curled up on a couch. Damn stubborn woman.
I squat down next to her and brush the hair from her face. “Morning, Sweetheart,” I say.
“How is she?” she asks.
“The same,” I reply. “I thought I told you to go home.”
“In case you haven’t noticed, I don’t take orders from anyone.” I tilt my head at her. I recall quite a few occasions where she took my orders just fine. “Unless I want to,” she clarifies.
“I’m going to get some coffee if you want to come.”
She stands and stretches, her extended arms coming to rest around my neck and she pulls me in for a hug. I hug her back, my hands resting on her lower back, my head on her shoulder.
“Hey,” Brayden’s voice says from the doorway. “How is she?”
My arm is still around Ashlynn’s waist because Brayden already knows and even if he didn’t, after last night, Ashlynn’s admission, I don’t care anymore. The woman is mine and to hell with everything else.
“She’s the same. There haven’t been any more issues, but
she’s not improving either,” I tell him.
He curses out loud.
“Why don’t I get all of us some coffee and you guys go sit with her, okay?” Ashlynn suggests.
I nod and she gives me a slight smile in response before heading down the hall.
Brayden and I make our way silently into our mother’s ICU room, each taking a spot on either side of her. I watch as Brayden stands next to her, tears in his eyes. Glancing up at the monitor, I see her vitals have deteriorated in the short time I was away.
“What happened?” Brayden asks.
“They’re not sure. Her heart function is decreasing, she has an infection they can’t find the source of, and…” I stop because the next part, it doesn’t even matter. “It’s not good, B. She’s not going to make it.”
His head snaps in my direction. “You don’t know that.”
“Look at her Brayden. Really look at her. She’s gone. She’s been gone for a long time.” I pace the room and run my hand through her hair.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
“I’m fine,” I lie. “I just don’t want her to suffer. She’s done enough of that.”
He nods his head in agreement. Whether or not he agrees that our father is at fault, he knows how much she’s suffered.
“What about Dad? Do you still plan on taking him down?” Brayden asks.
“Now, more than ever,” I reply. I scrub my hand over my face. “It’s just proving a little harder than I expected.”
“Between becoming partner and sleeping with his girlfriend, looks to me like you’re well on your way to making Dad pay.”
The sound of something splattering behind us has me jumping out of my seat, as does the look of horror on her face.
“Ashlynn…”
She turns on her heel and leaves. Fuck.
I shoot Brayden and his big stupid mouth a look before I run after her.
“Ashlynn, wait. Please.”
“Go to hell, Grayson,” she says as she continues to hurry down the hall.
I finally reach her, my hand grabbing her forearm.
“Let me go,” she demands.
“Not until you hear me out,” I say.
