A beautiful and cozy feeling. It made him see Jade in front of him again, and this time, he smiled.
He recognized it. It was that feeling he’d pushed aside for so many years, that feeling that made his heart flutter every time he saw her. Strangely enough, it was now pushing the bond away, no, not pushing, dominating it.
How was that even possible?
The feeling wrapped itself around him, calming him, soothing him, but the bond demanded closure. It still needed to be sealed, but it could no longer hurt him, because of that … feeling.
That sweet, sweet feeling.
He gasped.
Could it be?
Could it really be …?
True love?
Love that hadn’t been forced upon him?
Love that had awakened all on its own?
No, a cyborg couldn’t fall in love on his own … right?
Nightmare shook his head. How could he be sure anymore?
He started walking again.
Jade.
He needed her.
The new sensations made him almost burst out in laughter.
He’d never felt anything like this with Carolyn. He’d been in love with her, but only because the bond had forced him to love her. Rejecting it had hurt like hell, but he’d done it anyway, but this time … rejecting it was not on his list.
Not anymore.
He felt the love the bond was awakening within him, but he also felt the love that had always been there.
A love he’d barely been aware of, until now.
And it felt so damn good!
He also had more control than he’d expected.
Why? That was … unheard of.
Nightmare held back the moan that wanted to escape his lips.
Faye and Silver wouldn’t appreciate it as he approached them. They were the only ones left near Jade’s room that he’d ruined.
“Where’s Jade?”
They stared at him with wide eyes.
“Are you in control?” Silver asked.
“So far, but I need to go to her. Where is she?”
The cyborg clenched his lips, the unspoken words shone in his eyes.
“Let’s save the discussions for later,” he told him as frustration in his body rose. He didn’t have time for this.
“Celise and Wind took her to your room. She’s waiting for you,” Faye said.
Nightmare took off, leaving them and Blaze behind.
CHAPTER 19
Nightmare’s room was nice. It was twice as big as the room she’d been assigned to. There was a wide king-sized bed, a wardrobe with glass doors, a well-organized desk, and plants to fill out the windowless walls.
The room had taken her by surprise. She hadn’t expected him to be this organized. Honestly, Jade had no idea what she’d expected. Until just a few days ago, she had no clue what the Fighters lives were like.
She’d imagined them living somewhere in the forest, maybe in some abandoned house, like the one they’d taken Shade to when they’d tried to remove his bond.
It amazed her how he’d managed to put all this together. This whole place. Jade had no idea how far below the ground they were, but it was obvious every tiny part of it had been well thought out. After all, he’d had about forty years to fix it, and she would’ve loved to know how he did it.
But there was no time for that. He’d show up any minute, and she barely dared to imagine what state he’d be in; probably not the best.
The bond would rule him, he’d be furious, angry with her, but he’d also have no choice.
Eventually, he’d have to give in.
If he didn’t, he’d die.
The need and desire would slowly drive him crazy, completely take over his thoughts, and press his body to unimaginable heights. The stress alone would be able to take out his heart.
Jade sat on the bed, staring at the floor.
Her life, as she knew it, was over.
She’d hoped to escape this place somehow, but there was no escaping this.
Nightmare’s fate and life were now literally in her hands.
The door flung open and Nightmare entered.
Jade met his gaze and winced.
He seemed to be in control, which was surprising, but his tension was clear. His gaze was focused on her, his teeth clenched, but then there was that hint of complete surrender.
A pinch of fatigue radiated from him.
Her chest tightened. It hurt to see him like this. She barely dared to imagine what was going on inside his head.
Once again, he was being bound to the CEO of MedAct, but she still knew so little about what he’d been through. She only knew the things she’d read in his files, and those things had mostly been medical and cold.
He’d always been called “the subject.” His name had been Zero, to indicate he’d been the first cyborg, but he’d been viewed as nothing more but a thing.
Carolyn hadn’t stated that straight out, but it’d been there, between the lines.
Jade’s hand trembled when she placed it against his fit chest.
The shine in his eyes was intense. The bond waited for the next flash.
His black hair was on all ends, and he’d even wounded his hand from going crazy on all the furniture, but he didn’t seem to care.
She swallowed, waiting for him to take the first step.
“She never loved me,” he said with a low voice.
“I know. I figured that much from her files.”
Nightmare remained silent for a moment. “She hurt me.”
The tension in her chest grew. Something told her she wasn’t going to like hearing this. “How?”
“In many different ways. Her favorite thing was chaining me to her office floor naked and beating me with a stick until I had no skin left. Then she’d fuck me and once she was done, she’d leave me lying for hours.”
Jade gasped, and a raw feeling of disgust followed, filling every part of her body, making her nauseas. Her jaw remained open as the image of him chained to the floor crossed her mind. The files never mentioned that, but she didn’t doubt him. Not anymore. “I will never do that to you.”
“I don’t believe you.” He still seemed calm, even if the bond had to be going havoc within him.
Maybe he was able to control the need somehow.
“I swear to you. I’ve never cared about anyone the way I care about you.”
Nightmare tilted his head, studying her. “Why did you never tell me how you feel?”
She didn’t need to ask him what he meant. “Because, in your eyes, I was the enemy.”
“Not in the beginning. I had hopes for you, but when you continued creating cyborgs with the bond, you turned me away from you.”
A pinch of hate awakened within her, but not toward him, toward herself. “I didn’t know.”
He took a deep breath, and that incredible chest rose and fell. “That I do believe. Somehow, Carolyn manipulated everyone, even the doctors that weren’t close to her, that the bond was necessary for the cyborgs to live.”
Jade nodded. “That’s what the whole world believes.”
“It’s a lie.”
She nodded again. “I understand that now.”
His eyes narrowed. “So, you believe me?”
“Yes. There’s no reason for you to lie, not after everything I’ve seen these last few days.”
“Good.” He took a step closer, entered her personal space, and cupped her cheeks.
Jade’s heart took off. Nervousness flittered inside her because of what was coming.
Besides, he’d never looked at her the way he did now.
Nightmare’s gaze was filled with desire, longing, and … love. It was as if it was awakening right in front of her.
As if he really wanted this.
That couldn’t be right, right?
“I’m so sorry,” she said with a shaky voice.
“For what?” His finger gently caressed her cheek.
“F
or giving you no choice. I never wanted this. I wanted you to come to me voluntarily.”
His lips twitched. “Don’t worry about it. It wasn’t your fault.”
She blinked.
What did that mean? Did he know why his eyes flashed? Had he figured it out? Was that why he was so calm?
She’d expected a crazy look, a desperate need, and heavy breathing; not this control he was showing. It was weird. A newly bound cyborg didn’t usually behave like this.
Jade opened her mouth to ask what he meant, but before she got the chance, Nightmare pressed his lips to hers.
A shockwave of heat traveled through her, making her knees weak.
How many times hadn’t she dreamt about this? How many times had she imagined this?
She’d lost count, but it wasn’t important.
The kiss was gentle, careful, as if he was testing her.
She wanted to wrap her arms around him, to press herself closer, and feel the heat of his body against hers, but she didn’t move.
What if he reacted badly? What if he pushed her away despite the active bond?
After what he’d just told her, he probably would.
Jade had to prove she was nothing like Carolyn. Starting with letting him be in control.
She took off the belt to her jeans and handed it to him.
Nightmare frowned. “What’s this?”
“Tie me up. I want you to be in control.” Damn, that was difficult to say. She was a control freak after all, used to be the one in the leader position, and here she was, willingly giving it away.
His eyes went wide, then he grinned. “You’d let me do that?”
She swallowed but nodded. “If you need it.”
“It’s tempting, but I see your fear. It’s not necessary, but you’re not allowed to ride me.”
Jade nodded again.
That was understandable.
Nightmare suddenly swayed on his feet.
She grabbed his arm, but if he fell, she wouldn’t be able to hold him up. He was too tall and too heavy. He towered over her with his large and wide frame. “Are you all right?”
He took a deep but shaky breath. “It’s the bond.” Nightmare placed his hand on his chest. “It’s demanding my attention.” The already intense shine in his eyes intensified and a loud moan left his mouth, and yet …
“You seem unusually calm about this. I’ve seen how Fighters react once the bond is initiated, and they almost lose control. You, on the other hand, are still standing there, in front of me, not touching me.”
Should she be insulted?
His lips twitched again. “You’ve no idea how much I want to touch you and throw you on the bed to seal the bond, but I’m able to control it to some extent to stop it from turning me into a mindless bastard.”
Jade frowned. “How do you do that?”
He shook his head as if he was trying to shake something off. Apparently, it was starting to get to him. “I’ll tell you later.”
She opened her mouth to protest. She wanted to know now, but when he threw off his shirt, she froze and stared at the masterpiece in front of her. She’d already seen him half naked, but this was different.
There wasn’t an inch of fat on his upper body. His chest muscles were defined and prominent, and the six-pack was impossible to miss. Even the sight of his smooth and hairless skin made her lower parts clench and heat up.
“I like the effect I have on you,” Nightmare said.
She cleared her throat. “Well, that’s because … because …”
“Because you love me.”
Her eyes shot to his. The gentle smile he wore as he placed her hand against his chest made her breath stutter, and in his gaze, there was love.
So much love.
He looked at her as if he’d never seen anything more beautiful. He devoured her, seemed to drown in her eyes, as he placed his hand against her cheek.
Admiration was there instead, mixed with complete devotion, and desire. The hate, the anger, and the despair was gone.
Nightmare had completely given in to the bond.
Tears gathered behind her eyes, but she managed to hold them back. He didn’t need her pity.
Instead, she wrapped her arms around him and pressed her face against his chest.
To her surprise, he wrapped his arms around her too.
“You’ve no idea how much I’ve longed for this moment.” She didn’t want to hide the truth anymore.
Nightmare chuckled. “You’re longing is over. I’m yours.”
CHAPTER 20
There was a question in her eyes. “Just like that?”
He wanted to tell her yes, but she’d have a hard time believing it. “Undress,” he told her instead with a gentle voice.
She inhaled a deep and shaky breath, but she obeyed.
Nightmare stood still and watched her unbutton her shirt with trembling fingers. The nervousness lingering in her eyes didn’t pass him by, but there was also a pinch of anticipation and excitement.
This had to be a huge moment for her, to finally be touched by the one whom she’d loved for so long.
He still had a hard time grasping it, and as he watched her, he ran every memory through his mind, every memory of them together.
Every argument, every wild discussion, every disagreement, and every frustrating question that’d led them further and further apart.
His hate had grown, but her hate had never been there.
Nightmare saw it now.
She’d been angry, yes, but the hate he’d always believed to be there had all been in his head.
It’d always just been a strong frustration from her side, a desperation that’d made her go crazy whenever they’d communicated.
He’d been blind.
His past had blinded him.
Unintentionally, he’d compared her to Carolyn from the start, expecting Jade to be the same, and when she continued implanting the bond into newborn cyborgs, he’d seen her as a new Carolyn.
Because of that bitch, Nightmare had pushed his own feelings for Jade aside, allowing hate to rule, but now, he knew better.
He understood now.
He’d loved her from the start.
And it was a love not ruled by the bond.
It was like a slap to the face … and he liked it.
The bond wasn’t in control. It really wasn’t in control!
His feelings had developed first, long before the first flash had even happened, stopping the bond from taking over. Sure, it still messed with him, and it still needed the three flashes, but at least he wouldn’t throw himself at her like some crazed maniac.
If he’d known this sooner, his life would’ve been different, but he’d never even considered a cyborg could fall in love without the help of the bond.
He, and every Fighter with him, had always been completely focused on the bond.
Threatening her with the gun, seeing her tears, had been so difficult!
Taking her to the kitchen had been difficult too, but he’d still done it, because hate and frustration had been the most powerful feeling.
Nightmare swallowed when her bra fell to the floor, and it jarred him back into the room—into the present.
Jade avoided his gaze and pink spots appeared on her cheeks. Then, she dared to meet his eyes, dropping her hands to her sides. A shy smile spread on her lips.
The sight of her full breasts shot his blood pressure high. All he could do was stare as further breaths got stuck in his throat. The temptation to touch her smooth golden skin was almost overwhelming.
The sweet feeling filled him again, that feeling that made him feel so cozy and fluffy on the inside just from looking at her.
Nightmare chuckled, earning a surprised look from her.
Her eyes narrowed. “You seem way too happy, considering you’ve just wracked an entire room.”
“I am happy.” He laid her on the bed.
“Why?”
“I’ll tell you later
.” He unbuttoned his pants, and seconds later, Nightmare stood naked in front of her. He managed to hold eye contact for a moment, but when Jade’s curiosity took over, her gaze trailed lower.
A gasp left her mouth as she visually inspected his private area. “You sure don’t go with the standard cyborg size.”
He grinned. “I know.” Nightmare leaned over her. The bond demanded him to start, to rip the rest of Jade’s clothes off, and take her fast and hard, but he pressed his lips together. “When was the last time you did this?”
She cleared her throat. “About sixteen years ago.”
He frowned.
Jade gave him another shy smile. “Ever since you entered my life, you’ve been the only one on my mind. I couldn’t stomach the touch of another man, and besides, my work occupied me.”
The love his heart carried for her intensified. It sang inside his chest the sweetest love song, but on the outside, surprise dominated.
“I see you didn’t expect that answer,” she said.
“No, I didn’t. You’ve amazed me a lot today.”
She blinked. “I have?”
“More than you can imagine.”
Jade frowned. “I don’t understand. I bound you to me, I saw you go crazy, I saw your despair and fear, your hate, but now, you—”
He placed a finger over her mouth. “Enough talking.” He grabbed her hands and placed them over her head before going for a nipple.
The hunger within him grew. Objecting against the bond had reached its peak. He had no other option but to give in, allow it to bind him to Jade for life … and he didn’t mind a bit.
Another chuckle left him. She tensed from surprise underneath him, but when Nightmare swirled his tongue around her sensitive skin a loud gasp left her lips.
Her soft flesh was like an aphrodisiac. It transported his mind to a blissful place.
He closed his eyes, didn’t want to move away from the smooth feeling of her warm body against his. He explored every part of her he could reach, licking, teasing, yearning for more, and earned one shaky gasp after another in reward.
Never in his wildest dreams had Nightmare imagined it could feel like this. The only experience he had was with Carolyn, and he didn’t want to remember.
The thought of touching a woman ever again after all that had made his stomach turn, but not anymore, not when it came to Jade. He’d fallen in love with her on his own, of his own free will, and it made him laugh out loud again.
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