by Lissa Kasey
Nate was floored. He’d never thought to see something that big so close in his entire life.
“There’s an overlook that the Wullcot horse walking tour goes up to on the weekends. You can almost always see whales from the overlook. Not as close as one of the boat tours, but you’re less likely to get sick from choppy waters while standing on a hillside. Well I suppose you could get horse sick. But since you didn’t get car sick, I think you’ll be okay.”
And the island itself was beautiful, still in the lush green of a good weather year. Mountains in the distance. Water sparkling around. “I feel like I’m on a vacation I don’t deserve.”
“You need a vacation. And you sure as hell deserve one. Give it a few days to sink in. We’ll get you and the cats settled. Then you’ll have time to explore. Well a little time. We’re going camping next weekend.”
Nate’s mouth fell open. “Camping, sleeping in a tent type of camping? I’m going to die.”
Jamie laughed. “You won’t. You’ll turn off the social world for a bit and let your brain recharge.”
“Sure.” Nate didn’t think it was that easy for a single minute. They were reaching the dock so they got back in the car. “Are you far from town?”
“Not at all. You can rent bikes in town if you don’t want to drive. I don’t actually have one since I’m almost always in the truck. Hopefully nothing crazy has happened while I was gone, but Graham would have called.” Jamie guided the car off the ferry when it was their turn and drove into town. He pointed out places as they passed. Lori’s Diner and Lori’s Bakery. The grocery store that everyone used. The bookstore. The library. The tiny clinic that made up their only hospital. Jamie’s house was just on the edge of town, a big lot filled with trees and surrounded by a fence.
“The fence is to keep the critters in and doesn’t cover the whole lot. I have a kennel license and the vet comes out and checks on my horde every few weeks. I take a lot of rehabs for them. Get them back into happy critter shape so they can find good homes. Your kitties will probably need a few days to get used to the change, but I think they will fit in fine.” He parked them next to a ranger truck.
Nate rubbed his brow where the pain was beginning to throb. He wanted to cry. Of course coming here wouldn’t cure him. No one even knew what was wrong with him. He could take a pill and sleep for the next twelve hours, or he could wait until it got really bad and lie down in the dark.
Jamie’s hand was gentle on his shoulder. “Let’s get you inside with your kitties.”
“Sorry,” Nate apologized immediately.
“I’m not. I’m glad you didn’t get one until we got here. Now I can get you settled. You can rest and we’ll start working on recharging.”
“Easier said than done,” Nate muttered as he got out. He put all the cats in their kennels so there was no chance of them running around the yard or the house, then he grabbed AJ’s kennel since hers was the heaviest. Jamie picked up Leo and Riley and they made their way inside. The house was clean and good-sized. Two floors with the living area, a family room, the kitchen and dining area, and one bedroom, downstairs. Upstairs was all bedrooms. Jamie didn’t bother with the tour. He just took Nate upstairs to a room at the end of the hall and opened it, setting the cat kennels down. He crossed the room and closed the curtains on the bright light pouring in from the window, plunging the room into sweet darkness. Nate sighed with relief. He stumbled to the bed and set AJ down.
“I’ll get the rest of your stuff. Lie down, see if you can get the cats to cuddle, and I’ll be back up,” Jamie said.
“But…” Nate tried to protest.
Jamie waved off Nate’s protests and left the room, closing the door behind him. Nate opened AJ’s cage. She didn’t move. He sighed, but let out Leo and Riley. Riley had no qualms about exploring. Leo jumped onto the bed and reached for Nate’s lap. Nate kicked off his shoes. All he wanted to do was sit with his cats, maybe nap a little until the migraine went away. He crawled back on the bed, careful not to kick AJ’s carrier, and lay back on the pillow, wishing all his own weren’t packed away. Leo climbed up onto his chest, purring, nose down to his breastbone, little toes flexing, kneading, but not hard.
AJ was next. Her plump weight dropped down onto his arm, little head laid out on his shoulder, purrs almost as loud as Leo’s. Only Riley didn’t come. He found his way to the top of a shelf, and made himself comfortable with a clear view of the room. Nate could barely see him in the dark, but that was okay because his head hurt and he just needed to close his eyes for a little while. He didn’t realize that it was just that easy to fall asleep.
Nate woke in a mound of blankets, his own pillows, and all three cats. The house was quiet and the room blessedly dark. His headache was gone, but like after most major migraines he felt like he was hungover. It was a bit of disorientation, weakness, and depression all combined into one.
He rose like the dead, to many complaints from the cats, and wondered where the bathroom was. He must have been that out of it because he didn’t remember Jamie mentioning it. He turned on the light on the nightstand, waiting to see if the pain would hit him again from the light. But it didn’t. He breathed a sigh of relief. There was a note on the nightstand in Jamie’s familiar scrawl next to a bottle of water and a small plastic cup of pills.
Bathroom is the door to the left of the bed. Closet is on the wall opposite the window. The pills are all supplements recommended by Troy. All your essentials are in your room. Not all unpacked. The litter box is in the bathroom. Cat food in the bedside table if your kids are demanding food. Had to run out and check in at work. Will probably be back late. Just sleep.
It was almost seven at night. Nate hated losing days. He swallowed the supplements and half the bottle of water before dragging himself out of the warm cocoon of cats and blankets. He found his way to the bathroom. It was big, with a full tub/shower combo, sink, and toilet. There was plenty of room for the litter box. One would not be enough for long. He’d have to find another place to set one up in his room so his cats had a safe place while they were adjusting. Jamie had mentioned on the drive over that there was one in every room of the house. Nate didn’t want to expose his cats to Jamie’s yet, not without supervision.
AJ followed him and cried at him for love the whole time he was in the bathroom.
“I don’t think you’re ready to venture yet, baby girl,” Nate told her. “But I should go find food or something. How about you guys? Wanna eat?” Leo was curled up in the spot on the bed Nate had vacated. Riley sat on the end of the bed like a loaf of bread. Nate looked down at AJ. “How about you? Hungry?”
“Merow,” AJ said. Of course she was hungry. Nate dug the supplies out of his nightstand. Three bowls and a can of food split three ways. If they wanted more later, he’d feed them again. None of them had been eating much. All three of the cats roused and found a spot on the floor to tuck their faces into bowls.
“Eating is good. You guys eat and I’ll be back in a few minutes,” he told them. His stuff in boxes was piled up near the closet including his suitcase. The blankets, pillows, and cat supplies were the only things Jamie had unpacked. The house was quiet as he made his way downstairs. There was a light on and Jamie was in the kitchen.
He glanced up and smiled. “Hungry? I just got home and figured I’d throw together some sandwiches.”
Nate felt frozen. It was a shock to his system to have someone else in his space for the first time in years. He’d been depressed, anxious and alone for so long he hadn’t even dated in over a decade. The depression pretty much killing his sex drive. But there was Jamie. Smiling at him. Willing to make him food. Having hauled all his stuff up to his room after Nate had passed out from another migraine. Nate felt unworthy. Helpless. Broken.
Jamie put down the food. “Nate.”
“I’m okay,” Nate said in a tight voice.
“Nate,” Jamie said again. “You’re going to be okay. I promise.”
And that was all it to
ok. The dam busted and Nate fell into harsh sobs. Jamie’s strong arms wrapped around him, pulling him close. Nate tucked his face into the curve between Jamie’s shoulder and neck and just let it all out.
“I’m sorry,” Nate huffed. “I’m so sorry.”
“No reason for you to be sorry.”
But he was. Nate didn’t want to be a burden. He didn’t want to be weak. He shouldn’t need someone to take care of him. He felt so useless.
“Stop,” Jamie whispered. “You’re okay. You’re not alone. There is no reason you have to be alone. You are loved. What will it take to make you understand that?”
Nate relaxed into Jamie’s embrace, absorbing the warmth and strength. He wasn’t alone for the first time in his life, and didn’t that feel amazing and terrifying all at once.
Chapter 4
Nate slept better than he had in months, a deep dreamless sleep. That was the first plus. He’d eaten with Jamie, met Friar Tuck, Jamie’s old rescue cat who was missing an eye and a leg, and the two terrors who were a pair of brothers with Russian Blue genes named Ember and Ash. Video game names. They were an exuberant pair, play-fighting with each other, but mostly leaving Friar Tuck alone. Then he’d gone to bed, sleeping hard, only to be roused by his cats wanting food.
Jamie fed him again, making eggs for breakfast as he got ready for his day. Nate watched him feed his own cats, and put out food for the dogs. There was a handful of dogs, too many for Nate to remember the names of, but Jamie said they were all in rehab and warned Nate not to get attached. There was a mini pony named Matilda who just hung around the back yard. The dogs followed her around and tried to mimic her. It was sort of funny.
“I’ve got to head into work,” Jamie told Nate. “But you have my number. If you’re feeling okay, maybe walk into town and check out the area. Lori’s has amazing food. The bakery off to the side of Lori’s Diner is new and has all of Lori’s greatest treats. We drove by the rest yesterday. Or if you’re not feeling adventurous,” he pointed toward the hammock off in the corner of the backyard, “maybe sit outside for a bit and read. Just don’t freak out if Harry joins you in the hammock. He likes to snuggle. First goat I’ve ever heard of who acts like a lap cat.”
Nate raised a brow at him.
“I’m totally serious.”
“A snuggling goat…”
“I take him for walks.” Jamie pointed out the small cupboard outside the backdoor. He swung it open and it was full of leashes. Harry’s leash was labeled with his name. “The dogs will probably gather around too, but they just sort of lounge in the yard. There’s enough shade that they don’t have to fight over it. Vet is coming out day after tomorrow to look over the bunch. There’s probably two or three who are ready to move on to forever homes.”
“That’s so sad,” Nate said, frowning at the mismatched group of mutts wandering about the yard. “What if they are buddies?” Two labs played tug of war with a heavy rope knot toy.
Jamie patted Nate on the shoulder. “They’ll be fine. Promise. I’ve been doing this for ages. Helped more critters find forever homes than anyone on the island, or so the vet tells me. Better with a family than not getting one-on-one attention like they deserve, right?”
And that was true. “Okay. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.” It was early and the breeze was cool, but Nate thought maybe starting the day reading in the hammock wasn’t so bad. He watched Jamie go before returning to his room to retrieve his book reader and check on his cats, who were all sleeping, and returned to the hammock.
He’d never sat in a hammock a day in his life. He expected it to be bumpy and uncomfortable, but there was some sort of cover on it, that was soft and cool. It took him a bit of fumbling to get in and situated, but finally he relaxed and started to read. The sound of the breeze, and faintly in the distance, waves. God, was he in heaven or what?
He read for a while. Some brain candy story about two men who were just fated to be together finding instant love. He didn’t realize he’d fallen asleep. Funny how much he’d been sleeping, when he used to have such a horrible time with insomnia. He woke to the familiar weight of a cat perched on his hip. He sighed. He should probably get up and eat, maybe go into town so he wasn’t a total lazy loser.
Only then did he realize that all the cats, even Jamie’s, were indoor only. There was no reason for a cat to be on his hip. Nate turned his head and suppressed a scream of surprise, then a groan.
“You must be Harry?” Nate told the small white goat perched on his hip. He’d been expecting Harry to be bigger somehow. Like something you saw in the movies about rock climbers. But he was smaller than most dogs, sort of white-gray in color, with long hair. He actually had little ponytails on his head, probably to keep the hair out of his eyes. Had Jamie done that?
The goat was perched on him like a loaf of bread. “You been hanging around the cats? Are you even allowed in the house?” Nate didn’t think this was cuddling so much as dominating. He turned the tiniest bit and Harry jumped down like he’d done it a million times. “How does a little thing like you get all the way onto the roof?” Nate wanted to know.
Harry did a little dance as Nate struggled to free himself from the hammock. Getting out was just as graceless as getting in. At least he’d had a nice nap. He checked the time on his reader. Almost one. Crap, he did need to get moving for the day. He headed back to the house, leaving a disappointed Harry at the backdoor. Nate returned his book reader to his room, checked on his cats, then found his wallet. Town wasn’t far. A little over a half mile from what Jamie had said the other day. He could drive, but he was feeling okay. He heard Harry’s little whine from the backdoor and stepped back into the backyard.
Harry got all excited and began to hop all around near the cupboard of leashes.
“Oh no. I’m not walking you. I don’t know anything about goats.” But Harry was so damn excited, and Jamie had been gone a while because of Nate. “Fuck.” Nate opened the cupboard and grabbed Harry’s leash. It was more of a harness. Nate hoped he did it right, but Harry calmed down and stood still while Nate latched all the straps. Harry trotted toward the gate and Nate let him lead. What the hell. He’d just quit his job and moved across the country. Walking a goat wasn’t all that unusual in the long run.
Town was a little farther than Jamie had let him believe, or maybe it was just the fact that he was walking a little bouncing ball of joy. Harry stopped for everyone. Everyone greeted him by name. They passed the firehouse and Nate had to pull the little bugger to a stop. The most beautiful man, wearing tight jeans and a wet, white T-shirt, was outside washing the fire engine. His long dark hair was pulled back into a thick ponytail, his face a sculpture of Native American beauty. Nate couldn’t help but stare.
He might have stood there all day drooling if it weren’t for Harry making an indignant sound from being ignored. The man looked over and smiled. He put down the bucket and soapy rag to head Nate’s way. The man wiped his hands on his pants. Holy crap. Nate was sure he’d have a heart attack. Charlie. This had to be Charlie. Nate checked off the list of things he knew about Friday Harbor because of Jamie. Charlie, a fire fighter, Native American, and lover of an artist named Bastian. How many hot Native American fire fighters could there be on one island? And if there were more where could he sign up as a volunteer?
“You must be Nate,” the man said. “Can’t imagine Jameson would let anyone else take Harry out and about. I’m Charlie Fox.” Charlie reached his side and offered Nate his hand.
Nate took it, barely feeling their hands touch. “Jamie has told me about you,” Nate could only think to say.
Charlie grinned. “Yeah?” He bent down to give Harry the attention the goat so obviously craved since he danced and preened at Charlie’s feet. Harry bumped and arched into Charlie’s touch, doing his little bouncing walk.
“About you being a fire fighter and about Bastian.” Crap, was he supposed to know that? “You’ve been together a while.” So not available.
> Charlie’s smile widened. “And getting married this Christmas. Bastian said yes. Only asked him a dozen times until he gave in. Guess half the town is going to be there. You’ll have to come too. We’re having it in the field across the street from the Wullcot Ranch. Lori is catering. Plenty of food and happy fun for everyone.”
“Happy fun.” That was Jamie’s thing wasn’t it. Finding happiness rather than success or money or control. Could life really be that simple? “Why did it take him so long to say yes?” Nate wanted to know. Was there something wrong with Charlie? Beauty could be skin deep, but Nate didn’t think he’d be such good friends with Jamie if that were all Charlie was.
“He’s afraid that making a commitment in writing will make me stop loving him. Goes back to childhood trauma. He’s working on it with his therapist. That’s why we decided on a long engagement, to get him used to the idea. I’m not going anywhere, paper or not.” Charlie scratched under Harry’s chin. “Are you behaving?” he asked. “Keep Harry away from the government center. Last time he headed that way he ate half the flowers. Jameson had them replaced, but there were a lot of angry citizens.” Charlie shrugged. “I don’t get why they were so bothered. Flowers grow back. But if you stop by the vet, they will give Harry some treats. Most of the shops are pet friendly. Water bowls out for the dogs, and treats if you ask.”
“I don’t even know where that is,” Nate confessed. “I just sort of drove through town the other day and thought I’d walk over. But I shouldn’t have brought Harry. He just thought he really wanted to go out. Was crying and bouncing and I didn’t know what to do…”
