by Lissa Kasey
“Just rubbed some oil and lotion on your skin. Temples, back of your neck, and under your nose.”
“Flowers?” Cause it sort of smelled like flowers.
“Lavender, I think. And chamomile. I forget the exact combination, but Troy wrote it down. How’s your head?”
“Only mildly aching.”
“Nausea?”
“Gone? Not sure if it will come back if I move.” Nate thought for a minute. “He thinks the cheese did this?”
“I gave him a list of everything I knew of that you’d eaten in the past two days. He thinks the most likely culprit was the cheese. Sometimes meats can do it if they have nitrates, but he said everything you bought was nitrate free, even the bacon. So the cheese.”
“I love cheese,” Nate grumbled.
“It might not love you,” Jamie said with a bit of humor in his voice.
“You shouldn’t miss work because of me.”
“Don’t worry about that.”
It was hard not to. Nate hated being a burden. He’d been taught his entire life that he had to be useful or he was worthless. Even as a child when he’d been made to scrub floors or do laundry or make meals because his parents couldn’t be bothered.
“You’re thinking again. It’s like I can feel your head racing,” Jamie complained.
“Sorry. Just wired that way.” His eyes burned with the need to cry. He tried to rationalize the reason, but there wasn’t really one. He could cry forever for being cursed with migraines, or cry because he’d messed up a first day on a new job, or cry because he’d given up everything he hated to depend on a friend. Why? What did it get him? He hated how much he was crying.
“I know.” Jamie was quiet for a while. He even absently loosened his arm so he could pet AJ who didn’t turn away. Nate was a little shocked that AJ seemed to enjoy Jamie’s touch. “So no work yet.”
Nate wanted to protest, but he’d probably fucked up his work life for good.
“You have a good day then push yourself into a bad one. Heal first. Angel said you still have a place there, but they’d keep you on a less stress job. Mixing or proofing dough or something, if you still want it. But you’ll be starting slow. One day a week, just a few hours at a time. And I’m moving up our camping trip. We’re going this weekend.”
“You’re trying to kill me,” Nate said.
Jamie chuckled, the rumble in his chest against Nate’s back felt so good. “You’ll survive camping. I think you’ll love it. Besides, you’ll be with me. I think you need to disconnect from the judgment of the world. Electronics bring that shit home with us. Which is why camping is a good idea.”
Nate turned his head into the pillow to hide his tears. He shouldn’t feel so damn overwhelmed by having a friend who actually cared. Most people had friends and family who took care of them. Most people didn’t cry at the drop of a hat. God, he wished the medication would start working and make him numb again.
He sucked in a breath. Was that what it had been? A lifetime of numbness? Was that all that was left for him? “I don’t want to be numb anymore,” Nate whispered. He loved the warmth of Jamie’s arm around him, his body close.
“Then don’t be numb,” Jamie said. Like it was that easy. Had anyone ever told him to man up? To put on his big boy pants? That pain was life and you just had to deal? “Stop thinking so hard.”
“Sorry,” Nate apologized again.
“How about you go back to sleep? Get rid of the rest of that headache and we’ll start over tomorrow. Things always look better after rest.”
Nate could probably sleep some more. The headache lingered only a little. He noticed the essential oil diffuser he’d purchased with Troy’s recommendation was on the top of the headboard, pumping out mist in Nate’s direction. Lavender probably.
“Will you stay a little longer?” Nate asked quietly, expecting Jamie to say he had to go make dinner or go to bed himself. What time was it anyway? Nate couldn’t turn at all to see the clock. Not without dislodging both cats and Jamie. Jamie’s arms tightened around him and he let out a long sigh. Nate hoped it was a contented sigh, rather than an annoyed one. He liked being in Jamie’s arms.
“I’m not going anywhere. Just sleep. Leo and AJ are working hard on comfort purrs. Shut your eyes and focus on them.” Jamie tugged the blanket up over them and Nate closed his eyes to focus on the sweet rumble of Leo’s little purrs.
Chapter 8
The next morning Nate woke up alone and with the normal migraine hangover. His curtains were parted just enough to prove it was daytime. Likely Riley had been playing on the windowsill, watching some bird or squirrel, or even Harry climb the house. Nate had to drag himself out of the bed. The cats were missing from the room, even AJ, and the door was open, but Nate stumbled into the shower, flipping on the hot water to try to ease the grogginess. He stood under the spray for a few minutes. He was surprised by the scent of lavender that filled the bathroom. There was some sort of small mesh bag hanging from the bottom of the shower rack. Nate stepped forward to smell it. Lavender. He sighed and sucked in the scent. It eased some of the tension still vibrating through his body.
By the time he stepped out of the shower he was calm and sleepy, but willing to push himself to function another day. A huge bottle of lotion sat on the bathroom counter with a Post-it taped to it saying Apply me everywhere. Nate took it to heart and started with the bottom of his feet like Troy had suggested last night.
AJ was waiting outside the bathroom door for him when he opened it.
“Hey baby girl,” Nate said. “We need to clean you up a bit?” He let her into the bathroom and found a wash rag while she cried at him. It took a few minutes to wash her up then brush her fur. She gave him happy murmurs and licked him the whole time. He needed to get back to grooming her daily. He’d hoped all the space would help her lose some weight, but her hygiene would always be an issue or so all the veterinarians he’d taken her to in the past had told him.
When he finally made his way downstairs, he found Leo and Tuck curled up together, asleep on the couch. The twin terrors were on the giant cat tower chirping out the window, and Riley was in the kitchen window staring out at the backyard.
Several notes decorated the fridge, including a list of things Nate was not supposed to eat. Jamie’s handwriting decorated the bottom: I’ve removed all the stuff on this list from the house for now. We’ll test stuff later.
Jamie’s other note just said he’d gone to work and that Nate was supposed to have an easy day. At the bottom there was a ‘Honey-do’ list, which Nate found funny. It only had three items on it: Take Harry for a walk, visit bookstore, and drink tea.
Nate glanced out the window Riley was crouched in and saw Harry bouncing around the backyard. “He’s got way too much energy,” Nate told his cat, scratching Riley’s head. Riley gave him a long slow blink.
Nate put together a breakfast of eggs and toast, simple, but filling. He drank a cup of chamomile tea sweetened slightly with a liquid stevia sweetener Troy had left him. He missed his coffee and wondered if he’d get a withdrawal headache. But he felt pretty calm. His chest didn’t hurt, nor did his hands or his head. He hoped it stayed that way.
After breakfast and picking up an almost spotless kitchen, he wandered through the house, finding it clean and sparsely furnished. Of the two extra bedrooms Jamie had, only the one Nate was staying in had a bed. The second was set up more like an office, with a desk and a couple of bookshelves full of books, mostly on wildlife and animal care.
He hesitated to go into Jamie’s room, but the door was open, and he was curious. Nate had seen pictures of parts of Jamie’s room before. They had often spoken over Facetime while both sat in their respective beds. Jamie’s bed was a big sleigh sort of thing with a headboard carved at the top in a display of several compartments and shelves. There was a digital alarm clock on one side and a small box fan on the other. Jamie’s bed was a mess, unmade, and covered by mismatched bedding. The room was mostly clea
n. There was a basket of dirty clothes near the closet and a pile of change and receipts on the top of the dresser. Only the bed was messy.
Nate smoothed down the comforters and adjusted the pillows. He didn’t go so far as to tuck things in as he would have with his own bed, but he straightened the mess. Had Jamie cleaned before Nate arrived? Or was he just that neat? It wasn’t something they talked about, but most guys Nate had known just weren’t that tidy, especially when they were as busy as Jamie.
The one odd thing about Jamie’s room, and the whole house really, was that there were no pictures anywhere. Not of Jamie. Not of his wife. Not even of the animals. There wasn’t even any artwork in the house anywhere. Though Nate supposed the view through the windows, looking out to trees and blue skies, were pretty enough that paintings probably weren’t needed.
Jamie’s space was just very impersonal, like he didn’t spend enough time at home to really care that the colors were all beige. Maybe that was true. Jamie did work long hours. More so when he’d been a police officer than since he’d taken the ranger position. Nate had actually hated the years Jamie spent as a cop, since it made setting up time to chat or call difficult because his hours had been so skewed. Rarely had he ever just worked an eight-hour shift. Then there were the times that he just had a haunted expression on his face, or tone in his voice, but refused to talk about it. Now Jamie seemed to have a set day, travel time and home, no long days. It made Nate needy, since he was used to having lots of time to talk to Jamie.
Nate made his way to the backyard and the dogs happily greeted him. He threw the ball for a while until the dogs grew bored and his arm began to hurt. Then he read in the hammock. Harry joined him after an hour or so, curling up on Nate’s hip, more still than Nate thought the goat could ever be. Mattie wandered by, following a moth of some kind. She didn’t stop or seem agitated, Nate left her alone. The dogs played or napped. Nate was half-startled out of a light doze to the sound of the gate opening. It was Jen.
She smiled and waved at him as she was swarmed by dogs. “Just coming to check on everyone. There’s an adoption fair this weekend, so some of these pretty babies might be going on to their forever homes.”
Nate had to dislodge Harry to get out of the hammock. It was after two already. Where had the time gone? He’d totally forgotten about lunch, but wasn’t hungry anyway. He left his book reader on the hammock and made his way to Jen’s side. “You guys screen pretty well, right?” He’d hate to think any of Jamie’s dogs would go to bad homes.
Jen was crouched, giving one of the terriers Nate had walked a huge cuddle. “Yes. Promise. Most of the interested parties are residents and those who aren’t have gone through extensive screening in the the rescue network. We also require a couple follow up appointments in the six months after an adoption.”
“The dogs are all so well-behaved,” Nate said. He didn’t know much about dogs. But he didn’t think that normally they ran around loose in a backyard and weren’t bothering the neighborhood with their barking. This batch rarely barked. It was more grunts of hello or huffs. None of the group jumped or tried to bite either.
“That’s Jameson’s doing. Most of them are brought here too scared to function. Little Alex here,” she rubbed the terrier’s flanks which made the dog’s tongue roll out with happiness, “couldn’t bear to be touched. He’s been here almost six months. I know it took Jameson quite a bit of time to coax him out of his shell, but I’ve got a family interested in him. They have two other dogs of similar size, so they will be having a play date tomorrow. Jameson said the two of you were going to be out of town.”
“Camping,” Nat said, still dreading the idea. “I’ve never been camping a day in my life.”
“Well, you couldn’t be going with anyone better. Even before he became a ranger, there wasn’t a man on the island who knew the parks better except maybe the former Ranger Blume. He takes the dogs sometimes if they need time away from the people. I always stop by to check on the rest while he’s gone.”
That had been something else Nate had worried about. “I’ve brought three cats with me. They are old and special needs.” Even Riley had pretty bad arthritis.
Jen stood and smiled. “Jameson told me. Said you’re protective of them.”
“AJ doesn’t go near anyone but me.” Which made Nate worry she’d hide or starve herself, or what if there was a fire and no one looked for her?
“Hey,” Jen said after a minute, pulling Nate out of his worry. “They’ll be fine. Promise. Jameson has more than just me to keep an eye on things. Charlie, Graham, and even Lori and Angel make a habit of passing by or stopping to see the critters if Jameson is gone. We all took turns looking over everything when he went to get you. Your babies will be fine.”
“Sorry,” Nate said. “They are all I have. No family, you know.”
Jen reached out and squeezed his arm gently. “Don’t worry about it. I get animals. Have three dogs and a cat myself. My husband says I love them more than him. Sometimes he’s right.”
Nate smiled.
“Jameson said you’d take Harry for a walk. Maybe if you’re not busy, you could do that now while I examine all the dogs? It’s easier to do without Harry hopping around begging for attention.” She petted the crazy little goat. “He’ll be getting a haircut this weekend. Badly needs it from what I can see.”
“The pigtails are cute.” Nate grinned at Harry. “He is Harry the hairy goat. Let me take him for a walk then.” Nate headed toward the leash cabinet, wondering if he’d have to chase Harry down, but the goat was jumping around the dogs and Jen’s feet. “He really does like being with the dogs.”
“It’s the energy. He doesn’t have any goat friends, so the dogs are the next best thing.”
Nate pulled out the harness and put a couple of the doggie cleanup bags in his pocket, just in case. Harry followed him and let Nate clip the leash into place. “Are there sanctuary places for goats anywhere?” He hated the thought of Harry being lonely.
“A few. None close. I’m not sure Harry would be happy anywhere else.” Jen was absently looking over one of the dogs.
“I was thinking more that he needed a friend,” Nate said.
Jen flashed him a grin. “Jameson’s goat farm. That sounds like fun. People would drive by just to see all the goats perched on his roof.”
Nate laughed lightly at the idea. Wow. When was the last time he’d laughed without thinking about it? “I’ll just take Harry out for a few minutes. We’re not going far so if you need me, I’ll be back soon,” Nate told her.
Jen nodded and waved at him.
Harry tugged Nate out through the gate, but instead of heading toward town, Nate directed them toward the open field he’d walked with Jamie and the dogs two nights before. Harry bounced along happy with the scenery. He nibbled on some of the roadside plants. Since none of them appeared to be more than weeds, Nate didn’t think anyone would care.
He got lost in the movement and the scenery for a while. Listening to the birds and bugs calmed him. Not a single car passed though they walked the edge of what appeared to be a normal road. The fields and trees were lush and green. Jamie had told Nate that the island was always green. The brown and dead foliage of winter that Nate was used to just didn’t happen on Friday Harbor. Yes, they got dry sometimes, and even an occasional snow storm. It wasn’t a tropical island at all, but the climate was more western Washington state than Minnesota.
“It will take some getting used to,” Nate told Harry. “Not freezing in the winter and roasting in the summer.” His feet were starting to hurt. He wondered how far they’d walked. He hadn’t thought to bring his phone and didn’t own a watch. He tugged Harry back around so they could return to Jamie’s. They hadn’t made any major turns or anything, so Nate didn’t worry about finding his way back as long as he followed the road.
By the time the house came into sight again, Nate was thinking he’d pushed himself too hard. He was exhausted, his chest hurt, and his feet
ached. Harry was no longer bouncing, just walking. “Sorry, Harry,” Nate apologized to the goat. “Didn’t mean to go so far. We’ll nap when we get back, okay?” And food. Nate was thirsty and starving, he could only imagine how hungry Harry was.
He was surprised to find Jamie’s truck in the driveway and hoped Jen hadn’t called Jamie home from work early again. But there was no sign of Jen as Nate took Harry to the backyard and unfastened his leash and harness. Harry bounded off to Mattie’s side, nudging her until she turned and stuck her nose to his.
Apparently Nate had lost a whole two hours of time. He didn’t feel like he’d gone that far, but it did explain why his feet ached. He stepped into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water and downed it before returning to see if Jamie needed anything. He was supposed to go to a bookstore today too and had forgotten. Would Jamie be mad? It wasn’t too late. He could still go.
Jamie stepped out of the shed with his arms full. He smiled when he saw Nate. “How was your walk?”
“Good. Sort of went further than I had planned, but got lost in the scenery.”
“Yeah, that can happen.” Jamie walked past him and through the gate to the bed of the truck where he unloaded his haul from the shed. “I’m going to get most everything packed tonight so we can leave early tomorrow morning. Once we get to the park, the camping spot I have planned is about a half an hour on foot in.”
That was a long way from civilization for Nate and his expression must have showed his concern because Jamie grinned at him. “You’ll be fine. You’re with me remember?”
“What if you get bitten by a snake or fall off a cliff?”
“No cliffs where we’re going. Snakes,” Jamie shrugged, “probably not. Might see some rabbits, and there’s fish in the ocean. Water is too cold to play in though. Even the hike is mostly flat land. Our site is the furthest away from the rest of the campers. Thought too many people around would make you nervous, though there aren’t many out there this late in the year. I don’t want to push you too hard for your first time out. Once you’re used to camping, we’ll take a trip over to the mainland and go to the big park.” He adjusted what looked like a tent and shoved it under the truck bed cover. There were also sleeping bags and pots and pans.
