“That was for you, not me,” I said. “You needed to sing. To make up for what happened. Don’t be afraid to sing, Lita.”
“Okay, your fortune cookie advice… I don’t need it anymore.”
“That was mean.”
“So?”
I loved how pretty she looked when she was tough and teasing.
I reached for her again and as I moved in for a kiss, my eyes caught sight of something. Of someone.
I leaned in closer to Lita. “Blaze is here.”
“What?” Lita yelled.
She turned around.
Blaze nodded to her and held up a bottle of beer.
I closed in on her. “So what are we doing here, beauty? Am I dry humping you? Asking you to marry me? Or are you going to go over there and knock his ass out? Or do you want me to?”
“I don’t know, Shane,” she said.
“You have to make a decision. You freezing up just gives this guy power.”
“Shane, shut up.”
“No. I’m not going to shut up. He’s walking toward us. What’s the plan? I faced Stacy.”
“You said you and Stacy weren’t even real. You knew that all along.”
“No. It was real. Just not meant to be.”
“Shane… it’s different…”
“Because you still love the guy,” I said.
Lita stepped forward and away from me.
“Hey, Lita,” Blaze said. “Heard you singing.”
“What are you doing here?”
“Same as always.”
“Where’s your whores?” Lita asked.
“I’m solo tonight,” Blaze said. “But always looking.”
I caught Bonk from the corner of my eye.
I looked at him.
He gave me the nod of approval.
I stepped up next to Lita and looked at her. “You can hate me for this, but I promise, this is for me.”
“Shane…”
“Listen, dude,” Blaze started to say.
I swung my right fist and sent his jaw in a different direction from the rest of his body.
“Shane!” Lita yelled.
I flexed my hand. “He’s like rubber.” I touched Lita’s face. “I was falling in love with you, beauty. But you still love him. Do what you have to do, Lita. Just know your heart deserves so much more than this shit.”
I kissed her forehead and walked out of the bar.
Blaze didn’t even have the balls to take the punch and come back at me.
I got into my car and drove off. Wishing I had a bottle of whiskey to drink on the ride home.
When I did get home, I went to find a bottle of whiskey.
I took that first sip and found myself staring at the Christmas tree.
I reached up, grabbed the star and pulled it toward me.
The tree started to fall and I tossed it to the floor.
Fuck Christmas.
Fuck falling in love.
I went outside on the balcony to keep drinking and to have a smoke.
Then I made a few phone calls, making sure I would have some gigs and studio work after I was done with Filthy Line.
And I swore to myself I wasn’t going to think about Lita at all.
20
LITA
Blaze hung over a table.
I grabbed for his arm and turned him around.
His jaw was red and swollen.
“Shit,” I said. “Come here.”
I dragged him to the bar and the guy Shane knew had a bag of ice all ready to go for Blaze’s jaw.
“You calling the cops on him?” Blaze asked.
“Do you want me to?” the bartender asked.
“Yeah, maybe I do,” Blaze asked. “He sucker-punched me.”
“Looked like you knew it was coming.”
“Fuck you,” Blaze said. “Cover up for your friend. Asshole.”
The bartender nodded and reached under the bar.
He picked up a black baseball bat. “This is the silencer. This breaks up fights. And it breaks the heads of anyone that calls me an asshole.”
“We’re leaving,” I said.
I grabbed Blaze’s arm again and dragged him out of the bar.
Once we were outside, I looked around, realizing I had no ride.
Shane was my ride.
“Well, I hope that was worth it,” Blaze said to me.
I looked at him. “What?”
“That punch,” he said. “That guy was into you. Big time. But he’s not me, right?”
Blaze smiled and winked.
I just stared at him.
This was my chance to punch the other side of his jaw.
But I didn’t do that.
Instead…
“Blaze, want to go get a drink?”
He drove.
And he listened to shitty, rock-pop music.
“This is the new sound, Lita,” he said. “This is what I’m going for. I can keep my look, but this stuff gets people moving. You know?”
“Sure.”
“I’m serious,” he said. “This is what they call a crossover. I’ll get a lot more people listening. I’ve got a manager now too. Paulie. Great guy. He knows his shit. He was in Nashville for a while. He launched a bunch of those country-pop artists. Those guys are releasing a few singles a year and making millions on it. I told him I would never go country. That’s not me. I won’t sell out.”
I swallowed hard.
Blaze was the forever dreamer kind of guy.
That had been part of his charm.
Never giving up. Never backing down.
A part of me felt like tucking and rolling out of the car.
No. Not tonight, Lita. No running tonight.
Blaze parked the car and I hurried to get out.
I crossed the street without him.
That made him run to catch up to me.
He spun me around and grabbed my arms.
“What the fuck is this about?” he asked. “You asked me to get a drink. Did you not?”
“Yeah,” I said.
“Lita, what’s done is done. Okay? Why do you think I showed up there alone? I was looking for you. I’ve been thinking about you. A lot. I haven’t been happy in a long time. Not since you and I split. I’ve never been serious with anyone but you. Everyone else has been a distraction. I need you, Lita. I miss you. I… I love you…”
The words went through me.
I just stared and blinked at Blaze.
I had been begging for this moment from the second we broke up.
It was this burning inside me. For him to realize who I was and who he was.
Again, it was my chance to hit him. Kick him in the balls. Beat his ass into the ground.
Or just simply walk away.
“Let me buy you that drink, Lita,” he whispered. “And more.”
He touched my cheek with the back of his hand.
I nodded.
We were on our second drink.
“Remember that night the guy wouldn’t pay us?” Blaze asked, already laughing.
I smiled. “Yeah. I remember.”
“That fucker put a tip bucket out and there was, what, ten bucks in there? After he agreed to pay us two hundred for the show.”
“He was so shady though.”
“I know. We should have known better.”
“We were young and dumb,” I said.
“I got him though. Remember? I poured the bucket of money over his head and then punched the bucket.”
“Yeah, but you messed up your middle knuckle and couldn’t play guitar for two weeks.”
Blaze slapped the bar and laughed. “God, that was fun, Lita. We spent two weeks holed up in that shitty apartment. Watching movies, drinking, taking pills… having sex…”
I smiled. “Yeah. I was there.”
“You were there,” he said. He reached for my hand. “You were always there, Lita. I took advantage of it. I got lost in what I wanted to be. What I thought I was. I
’m not that person anymore.”
“So, this is your apology tour?” I asked.
“Whatever you want me to do,” he said. “I’ll get on a stage and tell everyone what I did to you. I won’t hide from it. It was just too easy. The women, I mean. I’m sorry.”
“I made it too easy,” I said.
“Yeah, you kind of did. I think I was begging to get caught.”
“Why?”
“To change up the routine,” he said. “I thought I wasn’t happy with you. But I wasn’t happy with myself.”
“And you are now?”
“Hell no, Lita. But when I saw you…” Blaze shook his head. “Never mind.”
“Tell me,” I said as I touched his arm.
He looked at my hand, then at me. “I want to fucking kiss you so bad right now.”
“Tell me…”
“When I saw you with that guy… I just knew.”
“You knew?”
“Yeah, Lita. I knew. The way he grabbed you and kissed you. He was touching my spots on you. Kissing my lips on you. You know? It just got to me. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Then I saw you again. And tonight… you know what? I wanted him to hit me. I wanted him to punch me. As hard as he could. That’s how he wanted to solve it? Fine. I took the punch. For you, Lita. Because the three of us knew what was going to happen. He was going to walk out alone and I was going to walk out with you.”
Again, the words went through me.
Blaze winked at me.
Then he leaned toward me. “So how about that kiss?”
He shut his eyes and puckered up his lips.
My right hand grabbed my glass and I smashed it against his head.
He jumped up and tripped over the barstool and went down to the floor.
“What the fuck?” he screamed.
I pointed down to him. “You will never get to kiss me again, you cheating piece of shit. Who the fuck do you think you are? It doesn’t work this way. You… you don’t know how to kiss. Fucking you is like putting a quarter into a cheap, motel vibrating bed. And you eat pussy like you’re afraid your tongue is going to get bit off. Which might be the case with some of the whores you hang out with. Stay the fuck away from me and the man I love. Asshole.”
The bar erupted into applause for me.
Just for good measure, I kicked him in the balls.
Blaze cried out and rolled to his left, his hand cupping his balls.
Before leaving, I grabbed his glass and took a sip.
I spit it back out.
He couldn’t even drink whiskey straight.
What a fucking loser.
The man I loved knew how to drink, fuck, go down on me, and make me happy.
I called Abby and she came to pick me up.
She had a badass little sports car that was blood red and went really fast.
She drove fast all the way to Shane’s place.
When we got there and I hurried to the door, I knocked, rang the doorbell, and punched at the door.
It was locked.
Chances were, he wasn’t home.
I looked at Abby.
“Do you love him?” Abby asked.
“I actually do. I feel so dumb. I fell in love with him. We were just fooling around and…”
“Let me get you inside,” Abby said with a vixen grin.
It took her five minutes to get the code to unlock Shane’s front door.
I didn’t ask how she did it, but I assumed it was from Reed.
Maybe Shane and Reed were together.
Maybe Abby flirted with them both via text… or sent some naughty pictures…
It didn’t matter.
I opened the door and made it a handful of steps before I stopped.
The Christmas tree was on the floor. The lights still on.
A whiskey bottle on the table.
“He’s not here for sure,” I said.
“Whoa, look at the tree,” Abby said.
“He did that because of me.”
“Knocked it over?”
“That, and actually got one,” I said. “Shit. I need to find him, Abby. There’s got to be…”
My voice trailed off as Abby started to smile big.
“You know where he is,” I said.
“I do,” Abby said. “I have to ask you a serious question.”
“Okay.”
“How do you feel about seeing other women naked?”
I cringed. “Seriously?”
“They’re rock stars, Lita,” Abby said. “Some things never change. Reed knows if he even thinks about touching, I’ll kill him. I’ll kill him, hide the body, and then fuck all of his friends out of spite.”
“You are a total badass, Abby,” I said.
“I know,” she said. “So… ready to go to the strip club with me?”
I hooked my arm into Abby’s and nodded.
The crazy things we do for love, huh?
Abby parked around back and we went in through the backdoor.
A bouncer was waiting and let us in.
He knew who she was.
The only rule he had was no fighting.
No trying to beat up a stripper.
We walked down a narrow hallway and then we were in the backstage area.
Which was boob city.
There were a dozen women standing there, topless, all shapes and sizes. Big, little, thick, hanging, full, fake, piercings…
My eyes danced around the room so fast I started to get dizzy.
“Hey, Abby,” someone said.
Another woman ran up to Abby and hugged her.
I watched the woman’s bare breasts press against Abby’s shirt.
“Hey, Ariel, are they all here?” Abby asked.
“Oh, yeah,” Ariel said. “And the new guy. He’s fucking smoking hot.”
I grabbed Ariel by the hair and pulled.
She let out a gasp.
“Shane is here?” I asked.
“Yeah,” she said.
I looked down at her perfectly tight, toned body.
“Did you touch him?”
“No,” she said.
“Swear on your life?”
“I swear.”
“I love him,” I said. “Okay?”
“Lita, take it easy,” Abby whispered.
I released my hold on Ariel’s hair.
She hurried to smile at me.
I reached out and tapped under her breasts. “They look great, by the way. I’m sure you do fine here. Sorry about the hair.”
“It’s good,” Ariel said.
Abby grabbed my arm and led the way from the backstage area.
“You’re psycho right now,” she said to me.
“I’ll pull your hair next,” I warned.
“You really love him.”
“Yeah. I kind of do. And it’s kind of terrifying me.”
Out on the main floor of the strip club, the thumping music went through my body. The place was decorated for Christmas in such a dumb and cliché way. Random Christmas lights hanging from the ceiling. Some of the poles had green garland around them. A woman walked by us dressed as a reindeer with her right nipple showing as Rudolph’s nose.
“This way,” Abby said.
She pulled me again and we went into a second backstage type area.
It was a private area.
Two tables, each with a dancer.
A smaller stage.
A woman dancing naked on that stage.
And there was Shane.
Folded up money between his pointer and middle finger, eyes on the stripper.
She wiggled her hips back and forth, bending her knees, opening her legs, and Shane inched forward, sliding the money into a shoelace thick thong. At the front of her body.
She then turned around, on her hands and knees, her bubbly ass inches from his face.
She reached back and touched her right ass cheek.
Shane laughed and suddenly he had a marker in his hand.
/> He autographed the stripper’s right ass cheek.
Abby patted my back. “Are you really sure about this, Lita? Falling in love with a rock star is one thing. But wanting to be with a rock star… that’s a whole other mess.”
I shook my head. I wasn’t sure of anything.
Other than I couldn’t leave the strip club without Shane knowing how I felt about him.
21
SHANE
She walked up to the empty chair next to me.
She reached for the marker I had just used to autograph Janelle’s beautiful, round ass.
I looked at her and looked surprised, even though I knew she had been watching me the last minute or so.
“What…”
“Oh, shit,” I said. “Wait.”
Lita reached into her pocket and took out some cash.
She looked up at the beautiful stripper as Janelle looked down at her.
I sensed a little tension at first. Janelle wondering if Lita was there to start a fight or to have some fun.
I honestly had no idea what the hell was going to happen.
As far as I was concerned, Lita was supposed to be in bed with Blaze.
It was their time to figure their shit out, right?
Lita held up a five-dollar bill and winked.
Janelle slowly lowered down and ran a hand through her hair.
She moved to her hands and knees and crawled toward Lita.
Janelle had big, natural breasts.. and my mind started playing all kind of games. Thinking about things she and Lita could do to one another…
My cock began to get jumpy.
A broken heart and a stiff cock was not a good combination for me.
Janelle reached for Lita’s face and stroked her cheek.
She put her head back and offered Lita her breasts.
Fuck.
Lita glanced over at me and slowly placed the five-dollar bill between Janelle’s breasts. She then popped up to her knees and squished her breasts together with the money between them.
Still no words were spoken between Lita and I.
Janelle crawled back to Lita and put her mouth to Lita’s ear.
“What do you need from me, babe?” was all I heard over the music.
Lita said plenty, but all I picked up on was, “give me your ass…”
Janelle laughed. “You got it.”
A FILTHY Christmas (Filthy Line Book 6) Page 12
