“Oh.” I understood his meaning perfectly: he didn’t think he would be able to fall in love with me.
“There are a lot of complications to this story, Violet, and I want you to know that I’m not ever going to lie to you. But you’ll also have to understand that I can’t explain everything right now, all at once.”
“All right.” I let my hands rest in his. It felt natural to let him hold them, after learning so much about him in the last week. And I hoped it meant that his being with stuck with me wouldn’t be entirely unpleasant for him. He had said he thought I was pretty, after all, on a few different occasions.
“I thought it best to marry Meredyth because, because I thought she wanted me to. I thought it would be best, for both of us. And so did Mere, for a long time.” Vance blew out a long breath. “This is already getting too complicated for tonight. Yes, I married Giselle, which was for the best, and I didn’t marry Meredyth, which was also for the best.”
“And you really won’t mind marrying me? I am a complete nobody. And it looks suspiciously as if I’ve entrapped you into making a marriage proposal—”
“Mind?” He laughed, though I couldn’t quite figure out what was so funny. “To be sure, I hadn’t planned to marry again for a long time, but a long marriage to you would be a walk through the park compared to my short turbulent time with Giselle. And I know what you’re like, Violet. You’re the farthest thing from a seductress. Which is one of the things I’ve come to like best about you.”
“Really? But you said last night that you didn’t want me to think—that you said those things because you didn’t think of me—”
“You’re an amiable girl, Violet, and quite attractive too. I probably like you more than I should already, given the situation. It’s just, the plans I had for my life, at least as of this morning, had absolutely nothing to do with getting married again… at least so soon.”
I pulled my hands from his warm grasp, rubbed them together and then buried them underneath my legs. “Why do you care so much about helping me?”
“From the instant your photograph made it into Rowen Steele’s hands, I’ve been able to think of little else. You ask why, but how could I not?” He moved closer, and I let him without backing away. “You know what I told Ava this morning? About making you mine?” His arm inched around the back of the seat.
I swallowed. “Yes.”
“That wasn’t entirely for her benefit. It was part truth—in that I will do all I can for you, Violet, to keep you safe from the likes of Rowen Steele.” He didn’t come any closer, but really, it was the closest he’d ever come to me besides earlier that morning when he’d kissed my hand and practically held onto my waist in front of Ava Cagney—at least, not counting his having his arms around me in my bed. But he hadn’t known what he was doing then, had he?
“I really appreciate everything,” I said, unable to keep my eyes from the floor—now unusually bashful before him. “But I fear you’ll quickly tire of me. If I’m strictly a charity case, you’ll—”
“Violet, don’t mistake me. Since meeting you—and especially knowing of the trouble coming your way—I’ve cared very much, and I’ve come to the point that I’m willing to do all I can to help. Even marry you. I just didn’t think it would come to that, especially in such a provocative way as it did this morning.”
I finally lifted my gaze from the floor and found him staring intently at my face. As if he’d been waiting for me to look up.
“I don’t want you to become alarmed, but I’m going to put my arms around you now, just as I said I would. And like I said earlier, I do think you’ll survive.”
“Why?” One hand came out from under my skirt in halfhearted defiance. I wasn’t exactly against the idea. Just a bit of a coward.
“Because how long has it been since you’ve been held?” Without awaiting my answer, Vance pulled me to his chest and wrapped his arms around my shoulders.
As he held onto me with my cheek rested against his jaw, my heart flipped this way and that, trying to understand what was happening between us. It was probably nothing, right? He wouldn’t want me as his true wife, would he? Not if he’d been compromised into proposing to me. I wasn’t even sure what I wanted the answers to those questions to be.
I hardly moved but to bring my arms folded around my middle between us. He sat holding me there for the longest time, his warm arms engulfing me, his chin rested at my left shoulder. I could feel his breath against the loose hair over my ear. At such tenderness from him, I wondered if we could perhaps make this work, make this false start into something real.
“Violet, I’m not going to get into the details right now, but there was a time when I should have married a young lady, but didn’t. It’s much too late to do anything about that situation now, but doing this for you helps me feel as if I’m making up a little for that.” He still held me, but had leaned back so better to look me in the face. “I promise I will make your life better. I’ll do all I can to give you everything you could ever want.” He squeezed me about my arms, playfully. “What is that exactly, anyway?”
“What do I want?” It had been since my parents had died that this question had mattered. Since then, I’d only wanted to be safe, and taken care of, which the job at Everston had given me, for a time. Now that everything had been ripped from my grasp again, I didn’t even know.
But then my thoughts raced back to the one thing I had left anymore that was completely and utterly mine. My books.
Just then the door to the hall opened. I shrank away from Vance and looked up to see Estella in her dressing gown come into the little space from the hall and make it halfway through before noticing us. “Oh, excuse me! I had no idea you were…I’m sorry for intruding. I just wanted to check on the fire. I assume you can do that before retiring for the night, Vance?”
Without waiting for his answer, she backed through the door and closed it with a smile she couldn’t hide.
“Well, that was fortunate.” Vance reached along the back of the chair, his fingers grazing my shoulder until they came to my shorn hair. He took a strand of it and twisted it between his fingers and thumb.
I caught my breath, wondering why he’d indulged in such an intimacy…and if he would again soon. Having him handle my hair was proving to be fairly addictive. “What do you mean?”
“I’d rather my family believe we’ve been infatuated with one another for the last week or so, at the least, before what happened this morning. It will make things less awkward for my family, I think.” From the way he continued to finger my hair, so close to my neck, I had a hard time thinking we weren’t already almost there. Or, at least, I was.
I wasn’t sure what he really thought, or why he did anything.
“Do you think they believe that we—?”
“To be honest, I’m not sure what Dexter and Estella believe about us right now. But it doesn’t matter. Everyone is going to think we’re completely and utterly in love before too long.”
“Oh? How is that?”
“We’re going to convince them that this is what we both want.”
“Is that why you held me? Had you heard her—?”
“I could tell you needed a good, long hug weeks ago. But I was far from having the right at the time, and now I do. That’s why.”
I couldn’t deny it had felt good to be held again, even if Vance and I were still practically strangers. It also gave me the added confidence I needed to tell him a little of my dreams. “You asked me what I want. A lot has happened—the last year has been…different.”
“I can imagine. From what I’ve gathered, you lost both of your parents last year?”
“And my home.”
“I’m sorry.”
I blinked back the start of my tears. Crying in front of Vance Everstone wasn’t something I wanted to repeat. “I want to write books for children, but on a grander scale than I do now.” I looked up to find a smile on Vance’s lips.
“You write c
hildren’s books?”
“Well, I do my best. It’s not as if they’re published or anything. They’re simply something I like to do to cheer up the children I know who need it. I gave Wynn one when she was here for the wedding.”
“Did you? What was it about?” He still had the strands of my hair wrapped around his fingers.
“A little fox that had lost her way, but then eventually found a new home.”
“Thank you for doing that for her. I wish I could have seen it.”
“I have another one of that same story.” Not that I really wanted to show it to him. Or anyone, really, who wasn’t a child.
“Do you illustrate the stories as well?”
“Of course. A children’s book without illustrations wouldn’t be quite as enjoyable.”
“I’d like to see them when there’s a chance.” He let go of my hair, but kept his arm at the back of the large seat behind me.
I knew he meant to insinuate that there was a chance right then and there, but I didn’t move, or even give him any clue that I understood him.
“You will show them to me one of these days, won’t you? At least the one about the little fox?”
“I will show you that one. Sometime.”
“I’d like that, Violet.”
I cleared my throat trying to gain the courage to end our late-night rendezvous. It was tempting to stay and talk all night, but of course, he wouldn’t think so. “I better go; it’s getting late.”
“You go. I’ll take care of the fire.” He stood, taking a step toward the fireplace. “And I’ll see you in the morning.”
I paused before saying, “In Boston.”
He immediately turned and sat back down beside me. “You’re not afraid of meeting my family, are you?”
“Won’t your family expect you to marry someone like Ava Cagney? Have they been told about our…our engagement yet?”
“Not yet. I thought it best I tell them in person. They didn’t like learning about Giselle through a letter in the mail so much.” He pulled a folded piece of paper from the inner lining of his jacket and handed it to me. “I forgot, I made a list of everyone you’ll likely meet tomorrow. With descriptions.”
I didn’t answer. I really didn’t have any say about how he dealt with his family and this situation.
“I think you’ll fit in just fine; they’ve all met you before. And it’s not always the amount of money one has that determines how well they get along with certain people. If that were true, both Giselle and Ava should have been perfect for me. Although my family has a lot of money, I don’t want you to think that’s all that matters to them. We will be equally yoked together in Christ—that’s what will matter most—that you’re a Christian.” He stood, making his way toward the fireplace again, but this time he opened the door to the hall. “Now, go get some rest. Although I’m quite positive everyone will be happy I’m settling down with such a respectable girl, it will be a long and eventful day nonetheless.”
Respectable. Was I considered respectable anymore? I knew enough of Boston’s high society to know that, were the circumstances of our engagement and my background spread about, I would be considered ill-fit for anyone’s acquaintance, let alone fit to be the daughter-in-law of one of New England’s wealthiest men.
I stood and joined him at the door. “Goodnight then. And thank you, Vance.” I touched the sleeve of his suit jacket. “You really have made what started out being the worst kind of day into something remarkably the opposite.”
“And it’s been my pleasure, Violet.” With those last words, he leaned in, swiftly kissed my forehead and ushered me into the dark hall. “Have a good night.”
I closed the door behind me and stood for a moment in the darkness, attempting to calm my erratically beating heart before going into the bedroom.
I wasn’t prepared for this charming and vulnerable side of Vance and I couldn’t help but be dreadfully—even more than before—affected by him. He had, without effort, the most magnetic personality when he wasn’t trying to conceal it—which he definitely had been doing the first few months of our acquaintance, and even at times earlier that week.
Vance didn’t seem to be concealing anything now. He was back to being as he had been a few rare times that week since he’d found me crying. I hoped he’d stay this way, and not revert to closing himself off from me. The thought of him shutting down now with the same brick wall he’d quickly constructed between us multiple times before made me feel ill.
He was all I had now, and as I stood there, I prayed he’d be the consistent, strong hero I needed.
8
Everwood
“He is a gentleman, and I am a gentleman’s daughter.
So far we are equal.”
—Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice
Sunday, April 3rd, 1892
Vance was right. Meeting his family wasn’t that bad. Until someone asked, “And where is Miss Hawthorne staying while visiting town? Is she staying with Claudine too?”
“No, no. Not that I know of,” the older lady with spectacles and a cane, whom I recognized as Miss Claudine Abernathy from the list Vance had given me. “The young lady staying with me was a Miss Roxanna Blakeley, Estella’s sister-in-law.”
“That’s right, Claudine. She’s here too, I promise,” Dexter explained over the commotion in the front entry where everyone had congregated to meet us at the door.
I stood near Vance, but not exactly “with” him, lagging behind a little. Roxy I spied standing in the opposite corner from me, on the other side of the wide, impressive front door.
There were at least a dozen people in the hall—two of them infants held by their mamas—whom I remembered as Vance’s sister, Natalia, and his sister-in-law, Amaryllis.
“Have you not made any definite plans regarding Miss Hawthorne’s stay in Boston yet?” Natalia asked.
“Oh I’ve made plans regarding Miss Hawthorne,” Vance’s voice boomed over everyone else’s. “I’m going to marry her.”
“What?” A shrill chorus of excitement came from all the females.
“And she’ll stay here at Everwood until we are married.” Vance took my hand and stepped farther into the hall. “Violet has no connections in Boston that we know of right now. You won’t mind, will you, Father?”
“Another wedding!” Natalia hugged her baby girl close, rocking her back and forth. She made her way through the crowd to come right up to me. “Both Vance and Father will be wed within a few months. How wonderful!”
Vance held my back reassuringly. “Violet, this is my sister, Natalia Livingston, and her daughter, Julianna.”
“I remember you, though we never spoke. I was quite busy with this little handful. She has a nanny, but it’s just too difficult to tear myself away from her.”
“I remember you, too. Your sister’s wedding was quite the event.”
“You just wait until it’s your turn!” Her eyes lit up, and she turned to Vance. “We do get to plan the wedding, don’t we?”
“Of course, Violet is looking forward to your help.”
Behind Vance’s sister, I noticed that his father, the formidable Bram Everstone, was waiting to be introduced. When Natalia noticed him there, she moved out of the way for him to come forward.
This would be the hardest part in my mind—convincing Vance’s lumber tycoon and hotel magnate of a father that I was good enough to marry into his impressive family. But if I expected a critical appraisal, it was the farthest thing he presented to me. He was the same as he’d been at Estella’s wedding—even to me—a nobody from nowhere now engaged to his son and heir. And would he someday know why? I hoped not.
“Father, this is my fiancée, Miss Violet Hawthorne. You might remember her from the wedding in November. I don’t recall if you’ve met.”
“We had not. But let me welcome you to the family regardless, Miss Hawthorne. I’ve learned to accept my children’s decisions throughout the years—for there’s not much to do besid
es. Not that I don’t think you’re likely one of the best choices Vance has made in a long time.”
“Thank you, sir.” I tried to imagine what I looked like standing before him, with my best dress—which wasn’t nearly as fashionable as his daughter’s—and my short hair pulled up as best as I could get it. I glanced up at Vance who had a curiously endearing look upon his face. I’d never witnessed it before. Was it amusement? Or something more like gratitude?
But why on earth would he be grateful for me?
Once all of the formal introductions were made, Estella and Dexter accompanied Roxy and Claudine Abernathy to her house, which I’d gathered was down the street. Vance, his brother Nathan, and his father disappeared into a room down the spacious hall, and I was herded into a parlor by Natalia and Madame Boutilier while Amaryllis took baby Rafe upstairs. We’d had breakfast in the dining car of the train, but I hadn’t been hungry at the time, and I was ready for all the tea and cakes they could spare. Although I’d slept tolerably well, I’d awoke wishing I’d never left the train station in Severville, despite Vance’s assurances from the night before.
And now I’d quickly been trapped in an interview with his elder sister and soon-to-be step-mother. Without him.
When our tea was served and I’d eaten as many tea cakes as I could without attracting undue attention, Natalia started with the questions.
“So, you met Vance at Everston?” She took a sip of her tea, keeping her eyes on me all the while. With her blonde hair and green eyes, she looked nothing like Vance and Estella, but just like her twin brother Nathan.
“Technically, yes. We met at Everston. Estella introduced us in October.”
Did they not recall that I’d been Dexter’s employee? And how was I to clear up any of their misunderstandings without knowing what Vance wanted me to say? Natalia and Madame Boutilier weren’t around me much during the busyness of Estella’s wedding—but Amaryllis had been. I wished she’d stayed, for surely she would have been able to help me sort out the truth for them. Of everyone at Everwood, I had a feeling Amaryllis and I had the most in common, as she’d married into the family.
The Cautious Maiden Page 8
