Lissie made a ribbit sound and giggled again. “So the pond offered something for everyone. What a fitting name then. Yes, I would love to visit Lake Perfect.”
“Tomorrow afternoon? If the sun is shining, I’ll have the groom hook up the sleigh. Mama, would the girls have left their skates here?”
“Of course. I’ll have a housemaid search for them in the morning. Ice skates are not a priority in a woman’s trousseau.” She waited while Gideon served them sections of white fish in a cream sauce. “I may even join you. The fresh air would do me good. Your father loved the pond in winter. It was the only activity that would tempt him out on a cold day.”
“That’s right, he taught you how to skate.” Gideon and his sisters had been given wooden platforms with blades when they were old enough to stand without wobbling. “He always worried one of us would catch a chill. After an hour, hot bricks and spiced wine and cider would appear to warm us up. Then we’d set out once more.”
“In Scotland if we let the cold keep us inside, we’d never leave the hearth.” Lissie took a bite of the fish and wiped her mouth. “Maeve, it must have been verra hard for ye to move here alone.”
The older woman considered. “It was but love seems to help ye face whatever obstacles are in the way.”
Gideon listened to the women compare differences in the households. He marveled at how his mother’s accent fluctuated, depending on the company. When they were alone, as now, she was Maeve from Scotland. When they entertained the neighbors, her speech was modulated and proper. A chameleon, to be sure, he thought with a smirk.
After roasted potatoes and turnips with rosemary and a glazed goose with cranberry sauce, Lissie patted her stomach. “I swear I’ll look like Etta if I eat another bite. It was a wonderful meal.”
Maeve beamed as she poured them a cup of the mead. The last tray arrived with a variety of sweet meats. “I’m glad ye enjoyed it. But ye must have one or two of these.”
Gideon was not surprised when, a few minutes later, his mother yawned and made her excuses. He loved her for it but suddenly felt like a Johnny raw. “We will see you tomorrow, Mama. Alisabeth, a game of chess?”
“I’d love to since ye’re a win ahead of me.”
They settled into their usual chairs, Gideon taking his black pieces and Lissie arranging the white. She had brought a cup of warm mead with her, and he poured himself a second brandy. For courage. Why was he so blasted nervous? She reached for a pawn then paused, her teeth biting that full lower lip.
“Alisabeth, I need to speak with you about something.” Did his voice quaver? Good God, man, get hold of yourself.
“Yes, Gideon? It sounds serious.” She put the ivory piece down and gave him her full attention.
The candlelight danced on the glossy pearls at her neck, lending a radiant effect to her skin. Those gilded eyes studied him, and his mouth went dry.
“I believe we have grown close over the past months and forged a solid friendship. Would you agree?” She is merely a woman, his reason told him. Just come out with it!
“Oh yes. You have been so kind and attentive. I’m verra…content here at Stanfeld Manor.” She lowered her gaze, the thick lashes creating a dark arc against her flushed cheeks. The firelight sent shadows across her exquisite face and highlighted the curve of her jaw.
He stifled a moan. “I wish to take our relationship a step further. I would like to court you, if you would not be opposed.”
He recognized the panic and it sobered him. Not because she may not care for him, which would be devastating, but he would not see her unhappy at any price. If his overtures caused any sort of upset, he would abandon his pursuit of her.
“I am honored, my lord. But it’s not been a year since Ian died, and I worry what—”
“Others might think?” He hadn’t thought her susceptible to society gossip, one of the traits he had come to love about her. His chest tightened. “We could keep the courtship private, if you prefer.”
“Och, no. Why would I care what strangers think?” She placed her fingers in his hand. “I dinna want Ian’s memory clouded by anything I might do. But he was my best friend, and I fear he will always be a part of my heart.”
Gideon sighed and sent up a silent prayer to his cousin. He was in love with Lissie and could not imagine any of his family begrudging them happiness. “Yet your relationship, if I understand correctly, was more affection than desire. You did not love him the way I love you.” He heard the intake of breath and knew he’d hit the mark. “I am willing to wait until you’re ready. But if you do not hold any tender feelings for me, I will never press you again.”
Tears sparkled in her eyes. Regret? That she had never loved Ian in that way or that she would never love him in that way? He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to her.
“I apologize. I dinna usually cry.” She gave him a watery smile and dabbed at her eyes. “I’ve come to depend on you, share my thoughts with you, spend time with you. I almost wish everything could stay just as it is now.”
“I’m afraid it’s too late for that. My feelings are much too strong to remain as we have been.” He took a deep breath then let it out in a rush. He held her gaze, wanting to wipe the tears from her eyes and kiss those quivering lips. “What I mean to say, my sweet Lissie, is that I need to move forward. You are constantly in my head, in my dreams. I must know there is a chance for us or find a way to deal with the emptiness of a life without you.” He squeezed her warm trembling fingers, reading the sadness in her eyes that now clouded his own heart.
“May I have time to consider?” He nodded and she continued tremulously, “My emotions are a muddle right now. Ye must ken ye’re in my heart, but my mind says I’ve no right to be happy with ye. Yet it is yer kindness and…verra presence that have helped me begin to heal.”
“The fact I’m in your heart is enough for now.” He stood and pulled her to her feet. “Take as long as you need. You know how I feel. I can only leave the matter in your hands.”
He kissed her on the cheek and his lips lingered, breathing in her faint scent of lavender, not wanting to break the contact. It might be the last time he would be this close to her. A lump formed in his throat, and he cleared it noisily. “If my declaration has made you uncomfortable, I apologize. But I will never regret falling in love with you.”
Alisabeth went to bed, her mind whirling. He loved her. Not cared for her, felt a kinship toward her, or was fond of her but loved her. She’d been attracted to him the first time their eyes met, but it had been the wedding when she realized it was more than physical attraction. She’d remembered the look in the couple’s eyes as they said their vows. She had never shared that kind of look with Ian, but that day she had shared it with Gideon. Since then, her conscience had battled against the desire. How could she experience the kind of passion Ian had been denied? What gave her the right to a bright future and such rhapsody? It would be disloyal to her dead husband and all he’d given up for her.
Yet she longed to know Gideon’s touch, how it would feel to be held in his arms, to be kissed with passion and not just affection. Guilt knotted her stomach each time tender feelings for him rose in her chest. Lord Stanfeld was a good man and understood her. But they had led such different lives. Yet, Maeve had found happiness here in England. Ian, ye were always there to guide me. How I need yer common sense now.
Lissie went to her wardrobe and searched along the dark bottom. She found the hand-carved box Ian had made for her fifteenth birthday. Lifting the lid, she took out the silk gloves and breathed in the scent of home as tears fell down her cheeks. She carefully laid them under her pillow, undressed, and went to bed. Perhaps an answer would come to her in sleep. As slumber evaded her, a haunting melody wafted through her brain. The same faerie-like humming she’d heard before. The same peace that it had brought then comforted her now, and her lids grew heavy.
She awoke refreshed, anticipating the day. Gideon was not at breakfast. Lissie was bot
h disappointed and relieved.
“Gideon said he had arrangements to make for later.” Maeve studied her. “Ye look well, lass. Did ye sleep soundly?”
She nodded. “Like a babe with a bit of whiskey on its gums.”
“Anything ye’d like to talk about?”
Alisabeth had the sense Maeve knew about Gideon’s request. The need for a confidante overrode her embarrassment. “Oh Maeve, I dinna ken what to do. Gideon professed his love for me but I’m afraid…”
“Afraid? Of happiness?”
Lissie hesitated then nodded. “Ian and I loved each other but we were not in love. The emotions Gideon stirs in me—I never experienced with Ian.”
“Do you think you deserve to be happy?” Maeve left her chair and sat next to her. “What would Ian want you to do?”
She shook her head. “Why should fate allow me to find the kind of passion I didna allow him to have? It wouldna be fair, ye see.”
“Life is often unfair.” Maeve placed a hand on Lissie’s cheek. “I’ve come to know ye, lass, and I knew my nephew. He made his own choices and he chose you. Nothing would give him more pain than to see ye miserable.”
She sniffed. “I ken that, I do, but I also canna help but wonder if I let him down…”
“What ifs will never help ye find answers, my sweet.” Maeve smiled sadly. “I’ll ask ye what my ma asked me when Charles proposed, and I was reluctant to leave my home. Can ye imagine yer life without him? It’s really as simple as that.”
Alisabeth pondered Maeve’s words as the maid helped her dress that afternoon.
“Here, my lady. I have more petticoats for you.” The girl handed her another pair of stockings as well. “Lady Stanfeld said to make sure you are warm. She won’t have you taking a chill.”
“I’m not sure how I will be able to move with all these layers. I already have two petticoats, stockings and wool socks.” She laughed as she struggled into another petticoat and donned her chemise.
“Those were flannel, this one is lighter and will fit over the others easy enough. Frozen limbs don’t move so good neither, my lady.”
“I shall be sweating like a day in July.”
The maid clucked, pulled a chemise over Lissie’s head, and helped her into the deep blue dress. Finally, she arranged a soft wool shawl around her mistress’ shoulders and tucked a pair of fingerless gloves in a pocket.
Downstairs, Maeve waited with a coat and a heavy wool cape, its hood and sleeves trimmed in red fox. A matching fur muff for her hands completed the ensemble.
“Saints and sinners! If I break through the ice, I’ll fall straight to the bottom of Lake Perfect,” Alisabeth laughed as the sleigh pulled up to the front door. Her breath caught when the driver turned. Gideon smiled. A sweet, patient smile full of love and hope. Her heart wrenched at the thought of causing him any pain.
He hopped down from the sleigh and handed first Maeve then Alisabeth into the seats. She avoided his eyes but could not stop the thudding of her heart. They snuggled under a large fur blanket and placed their feet on the foot warmers. “I thought I’d drive us there. Sanders has arranged for a carriage to come out in an hour or so with more hot coal. It will be a nice respite and allow us to thaw out a bit.”
The drive to the pond was spectacular. It had snowed overnight again, and icicles glittered on the bare tree branches. The snow crunched beneath the horses’ hooves, their harnesses jingling in steady rhythm. Puffs of white clouds floated up and away as they talked or sang. Lissie breathed in the crisp, cold air and it cleared her head.
When they reached their destination, she sighed. Lake Perfect was indeed perfect. Two wrought iron benches stood side by side next to the pond. Willow trees stood protectively at each end, the drooping bare branches heavy with glistening snow.
“Charles loved this place. It does my heart good to be here again. It brings back wonderful memories,” Maeve said, longing evident in her voice. “Och, I’m getting too sentimental in my old age.”
“There’s nothing old about ye, Maeve.” Lissie gave her a hug. “Thank ye so much for inviting me here.”
“Bringing ye here to England or here to the pond?”
“Both!”
Gideon stood, a pair of wool socks stretched over his muscled calves and a deep blue great coat that added bulk to his shoulders. He tipped his hat and pulled a sack out from under the driver’s seat. “Let’s see what size will fit your shoes.”
He helped them down from the sleigh and deposited them on one of the benches. There were several pair of wooden slats, with long blades on the bottom that curled up in front of the toes and straps on the top to fasten over her leather shoes. Maeve and Gideon quickly attached their skates before Gideon turned to help Lissie. He squatted down in front of her, laid his hand on the back of her ankle, and slid the skate under her foot. His gloved hand, on such an intimate part of her, sent her stomach tumbling. The touch lingered and again she closed her eyes, afraid to gaze into his. By the time he’d finished strapping on the other skate, Lissie had convinced herself that he could not seduce her with a look.
She pulled on her kid gloves and slapped her knees. “No time like the present, I suppose.” Holding on to the back of the bench, she rose cautiously. One step. One more step. She grinned. “It’s not as difficult as I thought.”
“Ye haven’t even been on the ice yet, ye silly goose.” Maeve laughed and took the lead. “I’ll be busy enough taking care of myself. Alisabeth is your responsibility, Gideon. She’s in your hands now.”
“It seems you have a talent for reading minds, Mama.”
Chapter 12
“Let other pens dwell on guilt and misery.”
—Jane Austen
The countess stepped onto the pond and glided across the slick surface. Alisabeth took a tentative step and gripped Gideon’s arm as her foot slid out in front of her. A strong arm went around her waist, and the other hand grasped her fingers so they were side by side. Weel, she thought, I’ll be too busy staying upright to worry about my heart. It’s my bottom that’s in danger now.
“Hold your dress up so you don’t trip, and lean on me if you feel unbalanced.” His deep, assuring tone calmed her nerves. “Now, we’ll move left then right. Left then right.”
Under his expert tutelage, she found herself sliding over the ice. The sun had come out, and the pond reflected the winter rays like a mirror. Her fists gripped the layered materials beneath her coat and Gideon’s fingers. “I hope I’m not hurting ye,” she squeaked, leaning precariously to one side as they made a turn around the edge.
He laughed—a carefree sound that warmed her chilled bones and made her smile. She had worried the outing might be uncomfortable after their conversation last night. Instead, being next to him, his body brushing hers as their legs sashayed back and forth, seemed natural. His hold on her was comforting and exciting at once, and for the first time that day, Lissie’s shoulders eased and her muscles relaxed.
“I’m a sturdy half-Scot, don’t you know? Just say the word when you’re tired, and I’ll whisk you back to the bench.” He pulled her closed and spun her in a circle.
“Oh my, it’s almost like floating. Or flying,” she gasped and was rewarded with a brilliant smile from Gideon. His blue eyes absorbed the winter sun, clear and sparkling with mischief.
“Fly, you say?”
Gideon picked her up under the armpits, swung her around in an arc, and placed her back on the ice in one fluid motion. Her stomach tumbled with excitement, and she marveled at his strength and the ease in which he’d lifted her. “I thought it had been years since ye’ve skated?” she asked breathlessly. “I’m impressed it’s come back to ye so quickly.”
“You bring out the best in me.”
“Stop showing off! He used to spin circles around his sister Lottie until she would wail with dizziness,” countered Maeve as she glided next to them. “However, I agree. Ye do bring out the best in my son.”
Lissie blushed and picked
up the pace, the sharp scratch of blades against ice creating a rhythmic accompaniment to their graceful movements.
An hour passed and a carriage parked next to the sleigh. They climbed inside to warm their feet, drink mulled wine, and nibble on sweet meats. Once settled, Sanders appeared with an envelope, bearing the Marlen seal.
“I know you have been anxious for news, my lady, so I brought this along.” He paused, his stoic face cracking a bit as his lips turned up ever so slightly. “We’re all on tenterhooks.”
Maeve slid a nail under the wax seal. “Wait a moment, Sanders.” She scanned the letter, her eyes glistening. “It’s a boy. A healthy boy and Etta is doing well. Please let the staff know when we return.”
“It would be my pleasure, my lady,” he said with a crooked smile.
“She produced the coveted heir on her first attempt, eh? Well, as long as Etta’s fine.” Gideon grinned. “And did the Viscount Marlen survive?”
“You’re incorrigible. Of course he did.” The countess tucked the letter in her muff. She turned to Alisabeth. “Are ye enjoying the afternoon?”
“I can see why this was a favorite outing,” said Lissie, leaning back into the soft velvet seat. “Maeve, ye’re so graceful out there. I shall try it solo when we are finished.”
“I’m sure ye’ll do fine. I’ll be heading home after this. I’m done to a cow’s thumb. It’s been so long since I’ve skated, my legs will rebel tomorrow.” She held up her spiced wine. “Here’s to another outing soon.”
They clinked their cups together and a short while later bid farewell to Maeve. Back on the ice, Gideon escorted her around the perimeter of the pond several more times while she found her balance again. Satisfied, he let her go.
Lissie let out a nervous laugh as she tottered then straightened with a huge smile. “I’m doing it. I’m staying up on my own.” She clapped her hands and then panicked. “How do I stop?”
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