“Jinx hates me. All the phoenixes do.”
“You hate Jinx,” Kade said. “She’s as enamored of you as I am.”
Heat crept its way up Sev’s neck, and he was forced to blink and look away so he didn’t lose it in front of Kade.
“Why do you hate her?” Kade asked softly. “I thought you’d be happy to meet her, that you wanted this for me.”
“I did—I do,” Sev stammered, wanting to squash that rough, wavering edge to Kade’s voice. He expelled a breath and met Kade’s eyes. “It’s just… I wanted to give you somewhere to belong, but I didn’t realize I was giving you a place to belong where I couldn’t.”
“Do you think belonging has to do with ability or skill or usefulness?”
Sev shrugged—he supposed he did, to a certain degree. It was his usefulness that had brought him and Trix together, and therefore, him and Kade. It was also his usefulness that had allowed him to continue to serve the Phoenix Riders ever since.
Kade fixed him with a knowing look, as if he could read his thoughts. “Belonging is not about give-and-take, like some transaction. When I look at you, I don’t see a list of useful attributes. I see your clever eyes and your warm smile. I see the pain you’ve been through and how you’ve come out stronger. When you freed Riella, you didn’t do it so she could give you something in return. When you gave me my egg, it wasn’t so that you could benefit. That’s not what belonging is, or friendship. Or love.” The word lit up Sev’s insides like a firefly trapped in a jar, but Kade just kept going. “You did those things because you’re good and generous, and you’ve always been that, whatever else you’ve been doing. As a soldier, a spy… you’ve always been that. You’ve always been you, and that is more than enough.”
“Well, that’s… I…” Sev didn’t know what to say. Kade had the ability to tear him down and build him up in the same breath. He felt raw and exposed, but somehow better for it. As if all his fears and doubts, which he had once worn like an ill-fitting cloak, had been stripped away.
“I know Ilithya put that idea into your head,” Kade continued, “and I hate her for it. I suppose I didn’t help either, judging you the way I did when we first met.” Kade took him by the arms and squeezed. “But you don’t need to be useful in order to have the right to exist. To have a place. You are a part of this because you care about this. You belong because we want you with us.”
Sev squeezed his eyes shut, then let his head fall back so he could stare up at the leafy canopy above. When he lowered his face, tears had pooled in his lower eyelids, there for Kade to see.
Sev released a shuddering breath. “I was jealous,” he said abruptly. Kade frowned. “Of Jinx. She loves you, and you love her, and…” He swallowed. “Is it ridiculous or pathetic to be jealous of a phoenix? Or is it both?”
Kade didn’t humor Sev with a laugh or a smile. Brows low and gaze intent, he drew Sev into a slow, deliberate, deep kiss. Sev felt like he was dying, like he was living—like his heart would burst from his chest.
“Come with me,” Kade said, drawing back just enough to speak, so the words whispered across Sev’s lips. “We’ll find a way. They’re going to need all the help they can get.”
Sev pressed his forehead against Kade’s. “But even if I’m enough—”
“You are,” Kade interjected.
“Right, I am enough—actually, I believe you said I was more than enough?” Sev asked, leaning back.
Kade rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. “Too much, at the moment.”
“But I want to do something more. Even if I don’t need to prove anything or earn my place… I can’t shake this feeling like there’s more I could be doing than being a passenger on Jinx’s back.”
He scanned the faces of the people moving about, searching for some inspiration, when he spotted Theo at the edges of the crowd. She looked exactly how Sev felt—frantic, frustrated, and desperate to do something.
But what good could they be without phoenixes? What other task could they set themselves?
Kade followed Sev’s line of sight. “Jonny’s story…”
“Was brutal,” Sev said, thinking of those people, held against their will for seventeen years, weaponized against their own kind—and that was after they’d been tortured and threatened and forced to watch their fellow apprentices and phoenixes slaughtered.
“It was,” Kade agreed. He hesitated, and Sev shifted his focus back to their conversation. “It made me think of Ilithya.”
“What about her?”
“The phoenix eggs we brought into Pyra?” He waited for Sev’s nod of recognition, as if he could ever forget them. “Most of them were stolen from an underground cache in Aura Nova. I went with her. The eggs were hidden beneath the abandoned training arena.”
“How did you get in? It’s supposed to be all boarded up and inaccessible.” The training grounds in Aura Nova were built partially into the base of the Rock, then extending beyond, taking up several city blocks. It had been closed the entire time Sev had lived in the capital, and guards were posted at the entrances day and night. He doubted even a thief as enterprising as Trix could have gotten in past so much security, and according to Jonny, the drain Theo had escaped through had been blocked since her escape.
“The main entrances, yes—but the arena was also accessible through underground entrances. There are all sorts of passages inside the Rock—for servants, spies, and message runners. It’s a Pyraean thing. Most lead to the Nest, the courthouse, and other government buildings, but they also connected to the training grounds. And every governor’s house has access. We got in through a passage from Lord Rolan’s town house. That’s why she got herself transferred into Rolan’s service in the first place.” Kade straightened, a thoughtful expression settling over his brow. “I wonder if there are more than just eggs down there.…”
“The arena is extremely well guarded for a supposedly abandoned building,” Sev said, thinking out loud. “And didn’t General Rast bargain for the Pyraean governor’s house specifically? He could have had any Marble Row mansion, so why that house?”
“Ego?” Kade said, though his tone was doubtful.
“Could be,” Sev conceded, “but I think he had something else in mind.”
“You don’t think…,” Kade said, glancing at Theo again.
“Didn’t Jonny say Rast built the registry headquarters in his own house as well?” Sev asked. He scrubbed a hand absently through his hair and started to pace. “He’s clearly the kind of man who has to maintain control. They’ve lived with him for seventeen years, doing his dirty work. I bet he rarely lets those prisoners out of his sight. Except today.”
“Today…,” Kade repeated. Then his eyes lit up. “The march into Pyra—he’s leading it.”
“Exactly. They’ll still be heavily guarded and monitored. The general’s house probably has as much security as the Nest. But despite his desire to keep all his shady dealings under his own roof, he obviously couldn’t do the same with the phoenixes. They’d set his house on fire, for starters, and would be too conspicuous. But living in a governor’s house would give him direct access to those underground tunnels.”
Where else would you keep a creature that could fly and burst into flame? Somewhere they couldn’t escape, somewhere that wouldn’t burn.
While Sev continued to stalk back and forth with restless energy, Kade had gone still. “When we went down there, into the arena…,” he began, speaking slowly, as if carefully dredging up the memories, “there were guards. Posted inside. I thought it strange, especially since they weren’t actually guarding the eggs we found. But maybe they were guarding something else.” He finished with a wide-eyed stare, turning to Sev in shock.
“We need to get into those tunnels,” Sev said, excitement kicking against his ribs—until he remembered his blown cover. If he were still a soldier in Lord Rolan’s employ, he might’ve been able to get himself into the governor’s house in Aura Nova. But Sev had run away, and he doubte
d he could think of a story that could excuse deserting his post more than a week ago and being absent ever since.
But there was another soldier in Rolan’s employ who might help them.…
“Yara,” Sev said hoarsely.
“What about her?” Kade asked, trying to follow Sev’s train of thought.
“Yara could let us inside Rolan’s town house.”
“And then we’ll take the passages to the arena?” Kade asked.
“First we’ll go to the general’s house,” Sev said. “Think about it. We could save the phoenixes and their Riders. We’ll enter the house through the tunnels, and once we get them underground with us, you’ll lead us toward the arena. The closer we get…”
“They’ll be able to sense their bondmates,” Kade filled in. “All that stone probably makes it impossible now.”
He was quiet after that—likely running through the possibilities, just as Sev had. But this was Sev’s wheelhouse. This was who he was and what he had to offer. Himself.
The preparations for the Haven Riders’ departure were still under way, so for this rescue mission, Sev and Kade were on their own.
Well, not entirely. With any luck, they’d have Yara. As soon as they arrived in Aura Nova, they’d send a runner to Lord Rolan’s house, asking Yara to meet them at a dockside location in the Narrows. If she turned up, they could figure out the next part of their plan together, but there was someone else Sev needed to rope into their scheme before they left Haven.
Theo was alone when they found her, as usual. She listened to the plan, growing stiller and stiller with every word Sev spoke, until Sev wasn’t sure if the words angered her, thrilled her—or if she’d fallen asleep.
“Why?” she said gruffly. Again her voice was flat, like Sev remembered from the campfire, and her expression was equally difficult to read.
“Why? Because it’s wrong, for a start, and the Phoenix Riders need all the help they can get. Besides, the general will lead the march into Pyra—there couldn’t be a better time.”
Theo shook her head. “But why you? You’re not a Phoenix Rider.”
“I know that,” Sev said, only a little defensively. “I’m nothing, okay, but—”
“You’re not nothing,” said Kade sharply, and Theo’s gaze darted between them. She seemed to put something together, and her suspicion cleared.
“I’m tired of doing nothing, then,” Sev corrected hurriedly. “I want to fight, and this is the best way I know how. Sneaking and stealing.”
Theo was quiet for several moments. “The entrances to the training arena are barricaded and heavily guarded. If your friend doesn’t come through—”
“She will,” Sev said firmly—more firmly than he felt.
Theo was silent for a while, and Sev worried he’d lost her. Then—“We’ll need a boat,” she said, and Sev’s heart leapt. Theo looked more alive than Sev had ever seen her before, cheeks flushed and eyes bright. “And a crate.”
I try to remember the beginning.
I struggle to envision the end.
- CHAPTER 50 - VERONYKA
THAT NIGHT, VERONYKA DREAMED. Despite the poison flooding her veins, Val dreamed with her.
* * *
It was an incoherent blur—vivid, but confusing. Veronyka saw and felt and tasted Val’s bitterness, her anger. It tore at them both, like claws, sinking deep and leaving scars.
There were flashes of sounds and sights: Aura and the smoking ruin of the Everlasting Flame, buried in rubble; the Eyrie’s cobblestones, smeared with black feathers and blood. Doriyan and Sidra, strixes and phoenixes—and Veronyka. Of course Veronyka. Ignix appeared next, telling Veronyka it had to be her, and then Morra’s face, calling Veronyka her queen.
Rage rippled through the air… rage that was not Veronyka’s.
Suddenly a scene coalesced: Val was huddled somewhere in the dark, surrounded by endless rustling and chittering. She looked more like a captive than a queen, and Veronyka had the desperate urge to rescue her—to save her from the shadows.
Nearer she drew, Val’s eyes closed but fluttering, as if she was struggling to open them. Veronyka needed light, needed fire and warmth—and Val needed it too, didn’t she? She looked so small and fragile, Veronyka feared she would catch a chill, but light would wake her, and Veronyka feared that possibility most of all.
The darkness was alive, though, pressing in on her. Making it hard to breathe. A little light wouldn’t hurt, would it? A little light… She reached inside, into her heart, drawing the light forward. But it didn’t stop there; it spread, turning into blazing fire, crawling across her arms and legs, filling the darkness.
The creatures in the shadows screamed, and Val’s eyes snapped open.
* * *
Veronyka awoke on the stable roof, her back aching and her toes numb. Her face and hands were warm, though, tight in the circle of Tristan’s arms, and she inhaled the scent of his skin with every sleepy breath.
But something was shifting, disrupting her sleep as it squirmed between them, tiny paws digging into her stomach. She looked down in confusion.
There was a mangy, three-legged orange cat wedged between her and Tristan—and that wasn’t all. There were squirrels, chipmunks, raccoons, and a dozen varieties of birds, pressed up tightly against them on all sides.
The night had been frigid, and Prosperity was not large enough to accommodate the same number of animals as the Eyrie. Evidently, the lure of two animages—and two hot-as-summer phoenixes—was more than these animals could resist. Besides, Sparrow, with whom these animals likely usually spent their nights, had slept in the infirmary, and Veronyka suspected the healer would have turned these critters away.
Veronyka sat up, the cold racing into all the places that had been warm mere seconds ago, while Tristan rolled onto his back, throwing an arm over his eyes—and dislodging a dog that had nestled in close to his neck. How had that fellow gotten up here?
Wouldn’t stop whining, Xephyra informed Veronyka, sounding distinctly grumpy. So I lifted him up. She and Rex had been nudged and jostled aside to make room for what was clearly every animal from the Eyrie and several newcomers as well.
The dog yipped, and Tristan lurched upright. “What the—”
“Veronyka?” came a voice from somewhere below.
Alexiya smiled when Veronyka’s head popped into view—and it stretched wider when Tristan sat up after her, the laces of his jacket undone. The small glimmer of mirth faded, though, as she gestured for them to come down.
“What is it?” Veronyka called, fear banishing any embarrassment she might have felt at being caught sleeping on the roof with Tristan.
“It’s the empire. They reached the bridge,” Alexiya said.
It was their agreed-upon meeting spot, if not their agreed-upon time. “So they’re early? That’s okay. We’ll just—”
She shook her head. “They reached it and didn’t stop.”
“Didn’t stop,” Veronyka echoed, still confused as she scrambled to her feet, gently moving aside animals as she reached for Xephyra. Then, finally, it sank in. “They don’t intend to meet with us, do they?”
Alexiya sighed. “It doesn’t look like it.”
Veronyka considered this as she and Tristan rode their phoenixes down to the ground—Tristan, slightly bemused and half-asleep, clutching the whining dog to his chest.
Beryk had made no mention of handing over Val in their request for a meeting with the general, so Veronyka could only assume that he had never intended to speak with them in the first place. That did not bode well for the day to come—nor for their hopes of being allies when Val finally did make her move.
As it was, they’d be lucky if they could spare the majority of Pyra the devastation an army could wreak by sweeping through in search of so-called dangerous animages and their phoenixes. Never mind the fact that if the Phoenix Riders didn’t stop them, the soldiers would just wind up marching blindly into Val’s strixes. They didn’t deserve that, what
ever their empire had ordered, and they wouldn’t stop Val—not now that she had such power and control. They would simply die, which meant more soldiers would come. More death.
No, they had to stop the soldiers’ progress, but how?
They couldn’t just show up wings blazing—that would send the wrong message, obviously, and weaken their chances of reaching some kind of agreement. But the meeting could go bad no matter how they arrived, so their flock had to be nearby and ready to act if that was the case. There was a balance they had to strike between showing strength and humility.
It was a harmony Veronyka had become newly acquainted with in recent weeks and a difficult equilibrium to achieve.
She and Tristan rushed back to the meeting room from the previous night, where the Rider Council reconvened once more.
“Who are we dealing with?” Tristan asked, and Beryk handed over the initial response they had received. It was signed by General Rast and witnessed by several commanders and captains, as well as a lawyer, a notary, and a member of the Office for Border Control.
“William of Stel,” Veronyka said, pointing at the last name. “Is that…?”
Tristan looked up, surprised, but it was Beryk who answered.
“Elliot’s father,” he said with a nod.
“I think we have our new bargaining chip,” Veronyka said.
Beryk sent a horse-mounted rider ahead of them with a message announcing their coming and reminding the empire’s leaders—politely—that they had agreed to meet with the Phoenix Riders and that they would be arriving shortly.
Their next steps were a little trickier.
While Elliot and Riella’s presence should ensure they weren’t shot down on sight, thanks to their father, Veronyka didn’t like the idea of having a young, untrained girl on what could quickly devolve into a battlefield. But she couldn’t deny that they needed any bit of leverage they could get. Besides, the siblings hadn’t seen their father in two years.… Who knew if they’d get another chance?
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