Shit. There goes my conscience again, the niggling voice in the back of my mind telling me this would have been better with Theo and the guys. Shut up.
“I knew you’d do Dire Straits justice. I love what you did at the high point; the way your voice cracked on the word ‘place’. Magic.”
“Thanks. And thanks for recording me early. I know you usually do this live. But I appreciate your understanding and all.”
“Hey man, we all need a break every now and then.” He claps me good-naturedly on the shoulder. “Listen, there’s a bunch of us going to see a few up and coming bands early next month. I’m sure you have big plans to relax, but it would be great if you could come along and lend your support to the little guys.”
I can see he doesn’t expect me to say yes, but honestly, I wouldn’t mind going to a small gig. It’s probably just what I need to remind me where I came from so I can appreciate where I am before I’m forced back into touring.
“Yeah. That could work.”
“Awesome.” He nods, sounding cool but looking a little surprised as he pulls the flyer for the gig out of a pile of papers on a nearby desk. “We’ll probably get there around nine. We’ll be up on the Mezzanine level. Do you want me to tell the door guys you’re coming?”
“No, I’ll go in the same as everyone else. I’ll find you.” I hold the flyer up. “See you then.”
We do a handshake/back slap combo, sealing the deal then I leave the studio to find Karen sitting in reception.
She holds out my car keys. “She said thank you for the bag of cholesterol,” she says as she drops them in my outstretched hand.
A stupid smile curves my lips. “I’m glad she liked it.”
“She also asked me to tell you she was sorry for yelling at you.”
“Wow.” I didn’t peg her for the apologising type. Plus, I deserved it.
“I advised her against apologising since you’re a cocky bastard who needs a woman who’s unafraid to put you in your place.”
I’m still smiling as I drag my teeth over my bottom lip. “You would know best,” I say. Part of what I love about Karen is her no-nonsense attitude.
She reaches out and adjusts the collar of my leather jacket. “Of course I do. I’m the only female you keep around for more than five seconds.”
“Give me some credit, Karen, I last longer than five seconds.”
“Fine. Ten seconds,” she teases, causing me to laugh.
“Gee. You’re too kind.” I gesture to the exit, and we start walking to our cars.
“I wonder if maybe you should try taking things even slower with this one. I think she’ll be good for you.”
“You think?”
She nods as we reach her car and she opens the drivers' door. “I’ve never seen you like this. Ever since you met her you’ve been smiling. It looks good on you.”
“That could be terrible for my bottom line. These brooding good looks sell my brand.”
She chuckles. “I think you’ll be fine. But can I offer some advice?”
“Isn’t that what you’ve been doing?”
“Keep it private. She’s a regular person who doesn’t understand your world. Try to keep her safe from the crazy fans. The last thing she needs is some jealous mob attacking her via hate mail.”
“I couldn’t agree more. And she’s already expressed her desire to keep our connection on the down-low. We even have a caveat that if her picture turns up in a gossip column, she’s out.”
Karen nods, her lips pressed together, impressed. “Smart girl.”
“Right? What the hell is she doing hanging around with an idiot like me?”
She laughs as she gets into her car. “Oh, I’m sure you’re not giving her much choice in the matter, Marcus.”
I shrug one shoulder. “Can you blame me? I can’t afford to let another one get away.”
“I understand. Just don’t smother the poor girl, either. Slow and steady wins the race.”
“Duly noted.” I lean forward and drop a kiss on her cheek. “Thanks for your help today.”
“I’ll make sure tomorrow stays clear so you can rest.”
“I appreciate that.”
She turns the key, and I shut the door, stepping back as she backs out of her space, waving as she exits the parking lot. I stand there for a moment, watching the red of her taillights as she turns and drives down the street and out of sight. I have no idea what I’d do without a Karen in my life.
I pull my phone out of my pocket, eager to call Lisa. I really messed up when I grabbed her wrist at the café. I should have kept my cool instead of getting aggressive and demanding. And I really shouldn’t have taken off in her car the way I did. I fucked up today, more than a packet of tex-mex can fix. But I have hope. She said OK. She said thank you. She said sorry. Not that she has anything to be sorry about…
I am the exception to mother-fucking rule.
I smile as I bring her number up. Yes, she fucking is.
Lisa
I’ve given it a lot of thought, and I can’t risk being in your world. Please respect my wishes and don’t call, don’t visit. This is what’s best for both of us. Goodbye
I stare at the text message I’ve written and rewritten a thousand times since Sandra left. It’s for the best. It’s definitely for the best. But still, I haven’t managed to send it. No matter how I word it, it either feels too harsh, or not harsh enough. Not that I think he’ll listen even if I do send it. I’ll have to relocate if I want Marcus Bailey out of my life before he’s ready to leave.
When Sandra called me naïve, she hit a raw nerve. Not because I was being naïve about who Marcus is, but because I was being naïve about what having him in my life would mean. I had started to convince myself that we could skulk around, let our unwanted attachment fizzle out before anyone noticed. But I’ve been kidding myself. There’s a reason famous people are called stars. Get too close, you’re bound to get burned. I don’t want to get burned again. I’ve had enough social carnage brought on by celebrities to last a lifetime.
Shit. I’m over thinking this. I should just send the message and turn off my phone. Maybe go stay with extended family for a couple of days until he quits looking for me.
Just send it!
Taking a deep breath, I hold my thumb over the green arrow. Now or never.
My phone jumps to life in my hand and the M for Marcus flashes up on my screen. Holy fuck. Did he see the dots moving and realise I was messaging him? Crap. For a while, I just stare at the letter, telling myself to ignore. Ignore.
My thumbs swipes across the screen. “Hello.” This is the opposite of ignoring! I hate myself right now.
“Dire Straits. Romeo and Juliet.” The rich depth of his voice simmers below the surface of my skin. Nothing good can come of this. A smile curves my mouth and I close my eyes. I am a moth and he is the flame.
“Can you play it for me?” I did not just ask that.
“I don’t have access to the recording. I’m driving.”
“Oh. Maybe you could just sing it for me. I can imagine the music.”
I swear I hear him smile. “You want me to sing to you?”
“Uh-huh.” A pressure builds in my chest, making it hard to breathe. What is going on with me? I’m smarter than this.
“OK.” I wait a beat as he clears his throat then hums the intro before launching into the lyrics. I lie back on the couch, the smooth velvet of his voice filling my ears, my body, tingling in my veins and hurting my heart. He sings about poor timing, tears while making love, a forever outside their grasp. It’s beautiful, and he’s beautiful. But it only serves to remind me that he and I are all wrong. As friends, as lovers, as anything at all.
“Thank you,” I whisper, wiping a tear as it falls from my eye.
“Are you crying?”
“No. I’m happy. It was beautiful. I think that maybe you have real talent.”
He chuckles, and I have to take a deep breath to keep my emotions in chec
k. “How’s your wrist?”
“Better.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I know.”
A beat passes before he sighs. “I’m not very good at this.”
I grin. “At treating a woman like a human? You’re terrible actually.”
He chuckles again, and I decide it’s my favourite sound. “I’ll work on it. When can I see you again?”
“I don’t know if I can handle you.”
“Worried you’ll go back on your word and give me what I want?”
“I don’t want my world to change.”
“I promise to protect your world, Lisa. Give me a chance and I’ll create a world for you.”
Placing my hand against my forehead, I fight the swelling of my breast and the flipping of my stomach. I focus on the drama and the insanity of our brief time together.
“Marcus…”
He releases his breath slowly. “I won’t let my world hurt you, Lisa. I’m not going to hurt you either.”
“But it will happen anyway, our worlds will collide whether we want them to or not.” I close my eyes.
“But we can prolong it. Ease you into it. Hell, we can ease me out of it.”
“You’d do that?”
“Yes.”
“You don’t even know me.”
“I know I want you.”
“You can’t build your life around wanting, Marcus. There’s a lot about me you don’t know. I think it’s best for us both to end this here and now. You go live your life, and I live mine.”
“Not gonna happen.”
“Please don’t be difficult. I don’t want a life in the spotlight.”
“I’ll keep you out of it.”
“You can’t. You’re Marcus Bailey for fuck’s sake. Please don’t fight me on this. I’ve made up my mind.”
“No. I’m not letting this go. Lisa, you’re the first woman I’ve wanted to spend time with in… forever.” Oh my god, he’s so pigheaded.
“You and I both know that isn’t true. You’ve spent plenty of time with plenty of women.”
“I fuck women, Lisa. I don’t talk to them. I don’t call them. I don’t sit beside them watching movies with their dog or having coffee with them.”
“That’s not true either. What about Naomi Prendergast? You must have known her. You said you loved her.”
“She’s always said I was in love with the idea of winning her. And on reflection, I think she was right. I didn’t take the time to know her, I spent all my time trying to fuck her just like every other girl. With you, it’s different. I like spending time with you. I like sitting on your couch with a dog in between us. I like listening to the sound of your voice, knowing there’s a chance I could win you over. Even if you never return any sort of affection, I will still like you.” And, my ovaries just exploded. He’s saying all the right things, and if he was a regular guy, I’d be putty in his hands. But he isn’t regular. Stick to your guns, Lisa.
“What about Sandra Haegen?” I have to force the words out of my mouth, like I’m the lone soldier hefting up the drawbridge to protect the castle.
“Who?”
“Sandra Haegen.”
“Isn’t she the reporter you covered for?”
“Yes. She’s also my best friend. And one of your conquests.” The deafening silence on the other end of the line tells me this was the gut punch I intended. “You spent an entire weekend getting to know her, made her feel like she was the centre of the world. And now you don’t even remember her, do you?”
“I…” he starts, and I can feel him sweating in the static. “I’m sorry. No. I don’t remember her.”
“She remembers you. It’s why she asked me to cover for her. She was scared to see you again. Scared you wouldn’t remember and she’d feel used. Scared you would remember and you’d use her again.” My stomach twists, and the backs of my eyes burn as I force myself to go on. “I don’t date men who fucked my best friend, Marcus.”
“Fuck.” There’s a scuffling noise then a crackle before the line clears and I hear him clear his throat. “I’m sorry your friend is upset, but I have never given a single woman the impression we were more than a moment. It was a different time in my life, Lisa. I’m not gonna lie and pretend there aren’t hundreds of girls out there I can’t remember, and maybe some of them feel the same way as Sandra. But I can promise you it’s behind me—hell, I can apologise to Sandra if you think it’ll help—the only woman I’m interested in is you.”
“No, Marcus.” A tear escapes my eye and slides down my cheek. “You only want me because I’m saying no. If I’d slept with you the moment we met, you wouldn’t have given me a second thought. I told you not to pursue me, Marcus. I told you this wasn’t a game. But you did it anyway. Please. Just listen to me for once and let’s end this. I don’t want you.” I bite my knuckle, fighting the flow of tears. We barely know each other and already my emotions are in a tailspin. I can’t trust myself to keep fighting if he keeps pushing.
He inhales, a slow intake of breath that fills his lungs and creates a pause filled with tension. I should just hang up. I should block his number and pack my things, run for the hills because I can’t do this. I can’t.
“I’m sorry, Lisa,” he says, just as a knock sounds on my door.
“So am I.” I wipe my hand down my face as Perry rushes to the front window. “But I know it’s for the best. We could never work.” I’m about to hang up, say one final goodbye as I follow Perry to the door and greet my visitor. But then Perry barks, and I hear it echo back at me. “Marcus?”
“Yes, Lisa?”
Perry barks again. I press my lips together when I hear him over the phone. “You’re here?”
“Yes. Open the door.”
I cover my eyes with one hand, a sob escaping as I press my phone to my ear, hands sweating. “I can’t.”
“Open the door. Tell me you don’t want me to my face.”
“No. I already did that. You never believe me.”
“That’s because I know you’re lying.”
“I’m not.”
“Then open the door. Tell me again. Maybe this time I’ll believe you.”
Pressing my lips together, I end the call and slide my phone in the pocket of my track pants. My entire body shaking as I reach for the handle and turn. Heart thundering, breathing shallow, I pull. And there he is, looking like my favourite dream mixed with my worst nightmare.
“I…” I start, meeting his soulful brown eyes. “I don’t…”
“Want me?” He steps forward, capturing my face in his hands, thumbs on my cheeks, fingers in my hair. “I still don’t believe you,” he whispers, bowing down until his lips brush mine.
“Marcus.” I close my eyes, overcome by his proximity. How can I deny this when we both know it’s a lie? I’m powerless.
“I have never understood want until I wanted you,” he whispers, and my body trembles. I’m mush. Trembling mush, held up only by his hands. Then his lips touch mine and lights explode behind my eyes. Holy fuck.
He tastes. He sucks. He teases.
I shake. I whimper. I…succumb.
My lips part, inviting him in, the intensity of his emotion clear with each gentle stroke of his tongue. My head spins. His mouth moulds against mine like we’re made to fit together, and I step back, fingers curling against his shirt to bring him with me.
He lets out a low moan as he deepens the kiss and kicks the door closed, walking with me until we hit the entrance of my bedroom and he kicks that door closed too. Perry huffs on the other side, scratches at the door. Sorry, Perry. Grownups only.
Marcus’s hands move over my body, our tongues tangling as he walks me until the backs of my legs connect with the foot of my bed. I moan into his mouth, pressing my body against his ridiculously firm chest. “What are we doing?”
He pulls my shirt over my head. “Everything we said we wouldn’t.” Rough fingertips travel down my spine as his mouth hovers over mine, chest heav
ing.
“This is crazy. We should stop.”
His fingers wrap around my ribs, thumbs caressing the underside of my breasts. “I don’t want to.”
My hands go into his hair as his lips move to my neck, teeth grazing against my collarbone as he presses himself against me, the undeniable hard length of his cock pressing into my lower stomach, causing my insides to clench with longing. I gasp. “Marcus.”
“Don’t ask me to stop, Lisa. I can’t.” He hooks his fingers into the back of my bra, flicking open the clap and releasing my breasts as he urges me to sit, and I do, my fingers still in his hair as he lowers to his knees and buries his face in my cleavage.
I drag my nails down his back, pulling his shirt until it bunches around his arms. He sits back and helps me remove it, and I drink in the tanned muscle, salivating with a need to run my tongue over every single one. “We should definitely stop,” I gasp, dropping his shirt on the floor with mine.
His breathing laboured, he cups a heavy breast in his hand, brushing his thumb over my erect nipple. I mew, my body and actions completely belying my words. “We could.” He leans in and takes my nipple into his mouth, sucking back and running his tongue around the hardened tip. My hands move over his taut shoulders and into his hair, clinging to him for dear life. “If that’s what you want.” He bites. And I drop my head back, crying out as his tongue laves the tender bud, adding pleasure to the slight pain.
“Marcus.”
He shifts from his position on the floor, gripping my hips as he climbs over me, dragging me up the bed then running his tongue between my breasts, kissing and sucking upward, his teeth grazing over my chin before he captures my mouth and kisses me until I can barely breathe. “Tell me you want me, Lisa.” He holds himself above me, the softness of my breasts jammed against his chest. He’s so beautiful.
“No,” I whisper, meeting his eyes as I roll my hips against his.
He groans, his eyes losing focus before he pulls back, fingers dragging down my body until he pauses at the waist of my pants. “Then get up and walk away.”
Beautiful Boxset: Beautiful Series, books 1-4 Page 130
