When she pulled away, I let her go, never wanting to use my strength against her. But my hands flexed with the need to hold her again.
“It’s a bad night,” she said dully.
As if to punctuate her point, lightning flashed and thunder boomed.
I rubbed the water from my face. “I know. But today was … hard.” I didn’t want to admit the weakness in me. I didn’t. But I couldn’t stop myself from exposing it. “I need you, Parker.”
That was apparently the wrong thing to say. Parker sucked in a sharp breath, and her listless expression snapped into focus. “For sex? Is that what you need?”
I didn’t know what to make of her response. Nothing about this night felt normal. “Yes. No,” I amended when her eyes narrowed. “Jesus, Tink. I’m not good at this.”
“This?”
“Communicating,” I said.
One delicate brow lifted. “Oh, I think you do fairly well communicating what you need.”
Her disdain hit me like a lash. “Not if this is your reaction, sweetheart. I had a rough night, Parker. And all I wanted to do is to get to you, to be with you. It isn’t just sex.”
She stood unmovable, but her lower lip trembled once before she bit it hard. “You’re right. You could get sex anywhere. A relationship has to be about more than sex, doesn’t it?”
I stepped forward, balling my hands to keep from reaching for her. “What the hell is going on, Tink? You’re obviously pissed but I’m stumped as to why.”
Her expression suddenly turned cold and remote again. I fought off a shiver. “Our time together was … enjoyable. But I think we want different things.”
Shock prickled my skin as I gaped at her. I’d been sucker punched in the ring and it hurt less. Was she breaking up with me? “Enjoyable? Different things?”
“Would you please stop repeating everything I say.”
“I have to.” I bit back a shout. “Because everything you’re saying makes no fucking sense.”
When her eyes narrowed in warning, I took a deep breath. “You want to explain why yesterday we were good and now you’re looking at me like I’m a stranger? Because I don’t get it.” I stretched my arms wide, imploring. “Talk to me, honey. I’m right here.”
Parker exhaled, squaring her shoulders, but a shimmer of tears in her eyes betrayed her. “I want something more, okay?”
Flinching, I stepped back, rubbed my face with a shaking hand. It suddenly hit me what this was about. While I’d been sorting my head out, Parker had been spending too much time in hers. I felt dizzy, the floor beneath me tilting. “Yeah, I fucking get it. I’m not him. Never will be.”
“You think this is about Theo?”
I didn’t want to hate the sound of his name on her lips. But I did. God help me, I did. “You’re in love with a ghost. I can’t compete with that.”
Her laugh was thin, and she closed her eyes as if reaching for patience. Well, join the fucking club, honey.
When she opened her eyes, they were shining with irritation. “This isn’t about Theo. Yes, I loved him. But he’s gone. I’m not pining for him.”
I wanted to feel relief. But I didn’t. Something was standing between us, but I was damned if I knew what. “Then what the hell? You give me this bullshit line about us wanting different things, that it’s over, then you should have the guts to tell me why.”
“Are you calling me a coward?”
“If the shoe fits, sweetheart.”
Her teeth met with an audible snap. “Don’t you dare play that card. Not when you duck your head any time things get too emotional.”
The force of her words punched past my defenses, and I blinked, my stance sagging. “You’re right. That was a low blow. I’m sorry, all right. But, shit, Parker, I’m lost here.”
“I saw you with that blond today,” she said abruptly, her eyes big and round with hurt. “At lunch. You were hugging her.”
Realization hit. Fuck. She had the wrong idea. “You think I’m cheating?”
“No.” She laughed hollowly. “Not when I took a minute to think about it. That’s not your style. I know it here.” She tapped her temple. “You wouldn’t cheat. You’re too honorable. But when I saw you hug another woman, it wasn’t my head that was leading me. It was my heart. It was my heart that broke.”
Her pain hit me like a lash, and I reached for her. But she held up a hand, forestalling me. “No. Don’t… let me say this.”
“All right,” I rasped, my throat closing up on me.
“I’ve only had one other relationship before you—”
“That makes one more than I’ve had,” I cut in, unable to help myself.
Parker nodded. “I get that. But even you must know that a relationship can’t thrive solely on sex.”
I felt pinned, unable to breathe. I’d been doing her wrong and hadn’t noticed. I didn’t have a clue what I was doing. Maybe she was right. Maybe I wasn’t for her. But even as I thought it, my mind—my fucking heart—rebelled.
“It isn’t just sex,” I repeated through my clenched teeth.
Parker stared at me with those eyes that cut to the bone. “That’s the point, Rhys. How am I supposed to know when every time I’ve attempted to talk to you about how you’re feeling these past few weeks you’ve distracted me and opted for sex instead? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining about the sex—I can barely keep my hands off you either.” A soft, lopsided smile pulled at her lips but didn’t reach her eyes. “But we haven’t had a real conversation since we left Fairchild’s lodge. We were closer then but now… you have a tendency to withdraw and keep everything to yourself when it comes to emotional support. And it … hurts.”
Fuck. “Parker—”
“Today, I saw you with another woman … and it hurt so much. It reminded me how painful it is when you lose someone you care about.” She nodded, tears spilling down her pretty cheeks. “You… you have power over me, and I don’t think,” she swallowed hard, “I don’t think this is going to work if one of us feels more than the other.”
I couldn’t stand it any longer. “Why the fuck would you think you feel more for me than I feel for you? It’s not true. You have power over me too.”
“Rhys, I don’t—”
I reached out, hooking an arm around her waist and easily drew her up against me. She gasped at the sudden movement. “You’re right; I’m not good at letting people get close, or letting them help me. But I have with you. I told you all my shit and you convinced me to talk to Dean. I asked you to help organize the exhibition fight and you stepped up… if I’ve been distant since then, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. But Parker, you’re all that I think about. You are the only purely good and clean thing in my life that’s just for me. I promise to try harder at talking to you about shit instead of burying it, if you promise to stop having entire conversations between us in your head.”
She pressed a hand to my heart, surely able to feel it racing. But she pursed her lips wryly. “I do not have entire conversations between us in my head.”
My smile was tremulous—because, fuck, she’d scared the hell out of me with her talk of letting go. I held her closer. “Yeah? Don’t you think it might better to talk to me before deciding you and I aren’t right for each other?”
Parker sighed and rested her head on my shoulder with a thud. “This was the talk to see if we’re right for each other, Rhys.”
“Ah.” I cleared my throat. “Like I said, I’m not really any good at conversations like this. But I’ll try, Parker. I swear, I’ll try.”
“I know you will,” she whispered. “If you tell me you’ll do something, you always do it.” Slowly, she wrapped her arms around my neck, and I squeezed my eyes shut, not realizing how much I needed that simple touch too.
We stood together for a minute, getting used to each other again. I’d never had an argument with a woman where the outcome had the potential to ruin me. That right there told me all I needed to know about how much I was inv
ested in Parker.
She needed me to communicate more. So I’d communicate more. I’d let her all the way in. My hand slid down her slim back, stroking, soothing. “You’re not even gonna ask who she was?”
Parker stiffened, but she let out a breath and met my eyes. “I kind of forgot to in the heat of the moment.”
My eyes crinkled, even though I still felt bruised and battered as though I’d gone twelve rounds. “It was Marcy. That’s who you saw me with.”
Her body jolted as if pinched and she turned her head slightly, the tips of her fingers digging into my neck. “Marcy?”
“Yes, Marcy. Jake’s wife. We grew up together. She’s like a sister to me. I’ve been looking out for her ever since Jake …” I shook my head and exhaled hard. “That hug you saw? I was trying to comfort her because she still misses him.”
Silence filled the air broken only by the crash of thunder. Parker blinked at me as if she were confused. Then her head tipped forward, the silky strands of her hair falling into her face. “Well, shit. I feel like an ass.”
Her curse made me chuckle. But then I grew serious. “Don’t. If I saw you hugging some guy, I’d have lost it.”
Parker hummed, then pressed her lips to the sensitive curve of my neck. “You won’t have to worry about that happening. I’m a one man only kind of girl.”
Thank Christ for that.
“You’re a good friend,” she said, drawing me back.
I kissed her temple and found it damp. My heart gave a hard thump. “Tonight, I had dinner with Marcy. She asked me what I wanted out of life. And all I could think was that I wanted you.”
A sob broke from her and she melted into my embrace, clinging tight. I pressed my lips to her hair. “I want you,” I said again. “I want to be with you, to come home to you, to see you smile, to make you mad. Parker, I want it all.”
Her slim frame shook and she burrowed in closer. “I want that too.”
For a long moment, I simply held her and listened to the rain. But then she drew back and took my hand. “Come with me.”
I followed because I wasn’t a fool. But I felt compelled to make her understand. “We don’t have to do anything tonight. I don’t want you to think all I need from you is sex.”
She shot a smile over her shoulder and then led me into her bedroom and straight to her bath. I stood compliant and silent as she slowly stripped the wet clothes from my body. No one in my adult life had ever taken care of me. I hadn’t realized I craved her care until she stood there, easing the shirt from my head with a tender expression. My heart contracted, and I sucked in a sharp breath.
“Sit.” She pointed to a small stool by the dressing table. When I did, she dried my hair with a towel, then tossed it aside and straddled me. She had on too many clothes. I needed her naked, to feel her silky skin moving against mine.
Her expression was serious as she held my cheeks in her slim, cool hands. “Forgive me for living in my own head? I don’t have a lot of experience with feeling this way about someone and I got scared.”
I cupped her pert ass and pulled her closer. “Do you forgive me for thinking you were still in love with Theo?”
There. I could say his name without flinching. In truth, I couldn’t even hate him. Parker had given him her love, which meant he couldn’t have been half bad.
Her smile was tremulous. “He’ll always be in my heart. But I’m kind of crazy about someone else now.”
“Yeah?” I asked, dipping my head to nuzzle the curve of her neck where I knew she was extra sensitive. “Is he worthy of you?”
“Oh, yes,” she said with a sigh of pleasure, arching into my touch. “He’s the best man I know.”
I’d been kissing my way along her neck but stopped and lifted my head at that. She had no idea what those words did to me, how they tore me apart and put me back together. With her, I felt like something new, something better. “I’m so fucking crazy about you, Parker Brown. You have no idea.”
Her smile was the sun.
“I might have some idea.” She touched my jaw. “Kiss me.”
So I did, putting everything into it, every emotion I couldn’t say but wanted her to feel. I licked into her mouth, reveling in her taste. Then I stood and carried her to bed to strip each item of clothing from her with care.
She was warmth and soft curves, tender caresses and breathy sighs. I explored her body as though it were new to me, taking my time, kissing every inch. And when I finally entered her slick heat, we both stopped and fought for breath. I stared down at those brown eyes I wanted to see every damn day of my life, and my chest hitched.
Words formed on my lips, words I’d never said to anyone. But it was too much. Too good. I dipped my head and kissed her deep, hungry. Always hungry for her. And she moaned into it as I moved. My hands slid into her hair as I thrust slow and sure. She was utterly precious to me, utterly beautiful.
For the first time in my life, I was making love. And it was so damn perfect. I never wanted it to end. Never wanted to let her go.
And when I finally found my voice, I could only say one thing.
“Parker.”
Twenty-Two
Rhys
* * *
“Rhys.” Parkers fingers, threaded through mine, gripped harder with her plea.
Sweat trickled down my back. I moved inside her with a steady rhythm, slow and deep and oh, so good. “You can take it.”
She groaned, turning her head to the side of the pillow. Glossy brown strands of damp hair clung to her flushed cheeks. Her lips parted as she panted. Beautiful. I ducked my head and captured that sweet mouth, felt her heat, tasted her need.
Pleasure licked over my skin, and I shivered. God, I wasn’t going to last. We’d been at this for hours, fucking and kissing and drinking each other in under the hazy heat of the afternoon sun. But boxers were supposed to have stamina.
Parker moaned into my mouth, craning her head to prolong the kiss with a greediness that had my breath catching. With another moan, she came around my cock, her inner muscles squeezing me so hard, my mind blanked.
“Shit,” I rasped. My careful control broke with a thrust, and another. I couldn’t get close enough. I needed in, and in, and in. Parker wrapped her strong legs around my waist and pulled me closer.
“Parker.”
Her fingers slid through my hair. “Give it to me.”
Let go.
I didn’t know how. Not in life. I never knew how. But here, with her, I could.
She held me, cradled in her arms, as I poured myself into her with a helpless shout. Weak and panting, I laid wrapped up in her, our sweaty skin sticking. Then I groaned and rolled to my side, pulling her with me.
Parker rested her head on my chest with a sigh. I hauled her closer, holding on, unable to release her. My body hadn’t stopped shivering. I was supposed to be blowing her mind, rocking her damn world, but she’d flipped the script.
“You okay there, big guy?” she asked softly.
No. Yes.
“Give me a minute.”
She simply petted me, taking it in stride that I was wrecked. I leaned into her soothing touch. After all, she was the one who’d wrecked me. Our breaths evened out, and the sunlight slanting through the loft windows warmed our skin.
Pressing my lips to the crown of Parker’s head, I closed my eyes and started to doze. Then my phone rang. Grunting, I grabbed it, intent on turning the damn thing off but then saw it was Dean. He’d texted too: Answer me, asshole.
Since I knew his next step would be coming up to the loft, I caved.
“What’s the problem?” My voice was shredded.
“That Garret guy is here.”
“So tell him to piss off.”
He huffed out a laugh. “He isn’t in the gym. He’s walking around outside with some guy.”
I rubbed a hand over my face and tried to focus. “We don’t own the sidewalk, Dean.” Unfortunately.
“I don’t know why I bother…”
A long-suffering sigh gusted. “They appear to be surveying the building.”
The fuck?
“I thought you might want to know,” Dean said. “But, by all means, go back to doing whatever it is your doing.”
His tone made it clear he knew exactly what I’d been doing.
With a grunt, I eased away from Parker and sat up. “I’m coming down.”
Dean grumbled something unintelligible under his breath and hung up.
Tossing the phone on the bed, I explained the situation to Parker. “I’m going to see what the hell is going on,” I said.
She sat up as well, pulling her knees to her chest. “The gym is safe now. You have the sponsors. Why would he keep at this?”
“Some people don’t like the word no.” I reached for my sweats and stopped. “Shit, I have to shower.”
Her smile was sly. “That probably would be a good idea. Not that I mind you smelling like me.”
My heart gave a funny little squeeze, and I leaned over to kiss her. “Territorial. I like it.” Then I backed away from the temptation that was Parker Brown and took the quickest shower in history.
Garret was still there by the time I got downstairs. He smiled wide and easy as though he wasn’t scoping out my property.
“Mr. Morgan. Nice to see you again.”
“Wish I could say the same, Garret.” I eyed the guy next to him who had a big iPad in hand and appeared to be consulting blueprints. “Doesn’t look like you’re here to see me, though, does it?”
Garret shrugged. “Just doing a little research.”
Research my ass. This was a reminder that the second I fell, he’d be there to profit off my failure.
Before I’d ever thrown I punch, I’d been a fighter. My natural inclination in any situation was to act first, think later. Most people assumed that’s what boxing was all about as well—rabid aggression and hard strikes.
They couldn’t be more wrong. Boxing taught me a lesson: to win, you had to strategize. I’d stepped away from the sport and forgotten that. Being with Parker—who never let me get away with shit—these past weeks had reminded me.
Outmatched: A Novel Page 26
