Abigail steps into view, grinning from behind me at my reflection. “Kane’s jaw is going to drop.”
“Thanks.” I admire her dress, the black one with the red detailing that she also never wore to Homecoming. “You look great too.”
She beams, then checks the time on her phone. “The guys should be here any minute. I still can’t believe you and Kane are making me go to a school dance.”
“Shut up. You know you’re excited.”
“Summer!” Mandy’s bellowing can probably be heard at the end of the block. “Your boyfriend’s here!”
Abigail and I exchange a look, then laugh at my sister’s teasing sing-song voice.
“Go ahead,” I tell her. “I’ll catch up in a minute, okay?”
Abigail nods, then grabs her clutch from my bed and leaves.
When the room is clear, I give my hair and makeup one final inspection in the mirror. Today feels like a second chance for me. I’d ruined Homecoming for my friends, especially Kane, but tonight we’ll have a second chance with the Winter Ball.
There’s a soft knock at my door, and I spin around. Mom is standing in my doorway, beaming at me.
“You look beautiful, honey.” She presses her hands to her chest, as if she’s so moved by the sight of me she has to physically hold in her emotions.
“Thanks, Mom.”
“I’m really proud of you,” she tells me.
I blink in surprise. She is? Why?
My bafflement must be obvious, because she goes on. “You’ve had a rough time since your diagnosis. You were doing a pretty good job faking it when school started, you almost had me fooled. But this past month, I can see that things have truly changed. You’re not pretending anymore, you really are happy again.”
I smile, feeling a blush creep into my cheeks. My hair is up, so I have nowhere to hide. “I am happier,” I mumble. And that’s the truth. Having my secret out in the open has taken a weight off my shoulders. Kane has been an amazing support, even going so far as to research lupus on his own, then come to me with questions. Eventually, I confided in Abigail and Mark too. Abigail hugged me and apologized again for the whole tattoo incident.
Mom steps into my room and pulls me into her arms, careful not to mess my hair and makeup. When she releases me, she’s smiling. “You’d better get downstairs. That boy is quite antsy to see you.”
I can’t stop my grin, and I know I’m blushing deeper than before.
Mom gives me one last smile, then leaves. I grab my clutch, phone, and shawl, then follow her. At the top of the staircase, I can hear Kane and Abigail bickering, as usual. I smile to myself and begin my descent down the stairs.
Halfway down, the noise stops, and I feel five pairs of eyes on me. When I reach the landing, Kane is standing a mere three feet away, while the others hang back.
He’s frozen in place for a moment, his mouth hanging open, as Abigail predicted. “You look amazing,” he finally says, sending the all too familiar blush creeping into my cheeks once more.
“Thanks. You clean up pretty nicely yourself.”
Kane grins and adjusts his pale blue bow tie. He looks amazing in his charcoal suit with white dress shirt. “I got you this,” he says, holding out a clear box with a corsage. “I got you the wrist kind. I figured there was less chance of stabbing you this way.” He opens the top and steps forward to slip it around my wrist.
I laugh, then feel a tap on my other arm. I glance over and see Mandy holding the box with the boutineer I bought for Kane.
“This one has a pin,” Mandy says, addressing Kane. “So I guess you’d better have someone else put it on you.”
We all laugh, and Mandy beams. I take the boutineer out of the box and step closer to pin it to Kane’s lapel.
“Thanks.” He takes my hand in his and squeezes it gently.
“Picture time,” Mom announces cheerfully, ushering us all outside. Once we’re positioned in front of the garden, Kane puts his arm around my shoulders. We smile as Mom takes an obscene number of photos in every possible group combination she can think of, as well as individual shots. Even Mandy insisted on getting in some of the photos.
“Mom, we have to get going,” I complain, as she snaps a photo of Kane and Mark, posing like tough guys with their arms crossed and sunglasses on.
“Okay, okay,” Mom relents, putting away her camera.
“I want copies of those,” Kane says to Mom, as he walks past her to stand by my side. Her eyes light up, and I know without a doubt that she approves of my boyfriend. I feel a little guilty having kept him a secret for so long.
Kane and I slide into the backseat of Mark’s car. “You’ve got your meds?” he whispers, his breath tickling my neck. Even though Mark and Abigail know about my disease, it’s sweet that Kane continues to try and respect my privacy.
I nod and give him a peck on the cheek. “I’m good, thanks.”
He takes my hand and squeezes it. Kane has really surprised me, in a good way, since I told him about my lupus. He’s constantly looking out for me now, and always reminding me that it’s okay to say no in order to conserve my energy for the stuff that really matters. I’m constantly wondering why I ever worried about telling him in the first place.
The banquet hall is a beautiful winter wonderland. Fairy lights and shimmery white tulle are strung from the ceiling, and crystal snowflakes dangle and sparkle like ice. You’d never know that just outside the doors is the Southern California coastline.
During dinner, our group of four sits at a table with two other couples from school, nobody we know well though. We mostly ignore the other group, and they do the same. After dinner, the staff clears the tables away and the dance begins.
Kane and I drag Mark and Abigail onto the dance floor and force them to dance with us. They’re both clearly out of their element, but they seem to be having fun. When a slow song begins, Mark holds out a hand to Abigail and she accepts. I watch them for a moment, as they turn in slow circles, laughing.
I turn to Kane, standing beside me, and realize he’s watching me. “Do I have food on my face?”
“I just like to look at you,” he says, his face holding one of his rare serious expressions.
I shake my head and laugh. He’s used this line on me before. “Dance with me?”
“Always.” He places his hands at my waist. I drape my arms over his shoulders, clasping my hands behind his neck, my body flush against his.
“Finally,” he mumbles against my ear. “I’ve been waiting to slow dance with you for way too long.”
“All you had to do was ask.”
“Now you tell me!”
Laughing, I rest my cheek against his shoulder and enjoy this peaceful moment. I will always be a girl with lupus, but tonight, I am just a regular girl dancing with her boyfriend.
The song ends, and we only break apart when the people around us bump into us. Laughing, I take Kane’s hand and lead him off the dance floor.
“Are you having fun?” he asks.
“I am.”
“Good. Me too.”
I look around, trying to memorize every detail.
“I’ll be back in a few, okay?” I tell him.
Kane nods, and I head off toward the restroom. Once inside, I approach the mirror and check my makeup. I may have told my friends about my lupus, but I still don’t want my butterfly rash on display for everyone to see.
I touch up my makeup, and as I’m closing my clutch, the door swings open. In the mirror, my eyes lock with Rachel’s.
She’s wearing a brilliant red dress, and it contrasts beautifully with her black hair and tan skin. Her mouth opens in surprise. Apparently, she didn’t expect to see me in here.
Before she can speak, I say, “You look really pretty tonight, Rachel.”
It’s time for me to let go of the past. I need to quit holding this grudge and move on.
“Thanks,” she says, after a moment of hesitation. “You do too.”
“Can we tal
k for a minute?” I ask, chewing my lower lip.
“Yeah.” Her reply is hesitant, as if she’s afraid of what I might say.
“I’ve been thinking a lot lately,” I begin. “And I forgive you.”
Rachel sucks in a sharp breath. “Really?” Her expression is a cross between relief and trepidation.
I shake my head. “I don’t know if I can ever fully trust you again, but I want to move on and make peace.”
“I hope someday I can earn your trust back. The kiss was two seconds, and I ended it as soon as I realized what was happening. I never meant for it to happen, or to hurt you. I really am sorry, Summer.”
I shake my head and force a smile. “It’s in the past now. Let’s just…” I trail off, searching for the right words. “Let’s try being casual friends and go from there.”
“Casual friends,” Rachel repeats. “I guess that’s better than whatever we’ve been these last six months.”
“Casual friends then.” I glance at the door behind me. “I’d better get back to my date.”
She nods, and I turn to leave.
“Hey, Summer?”
I turn my head back to face her.
“I’m really happy for you,” she says. “Kane is crazy about you, and you seem really good together.”
“Thanks.” I exit the bathroom and find Kane sitting right where I left him.
“All good?” he asks, standing up and wrapping me in a hug.
“Yes,” I say, and with a start, I realize that I feel lighter. Maybe I should’ve forgiven Rachel sooner. But no, I wasn’t ready then. It took Kane accepting me, broken as I am, for me to learn to accept myself and let go of the past. “Let’s go dance.”
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Read Rachel’s version of what happened at prom in Kick Ass Girls of Fire & Ice: Proms & Balls, available for free wherever ebooks are sold!
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PLAYLIST
Something I’m Good At - Brett Eldredge
Young & Crazy - Frankie Ballard
What Ifs - Kane Brown & Lauren Alaina
Please Don’t Fall For Me - Marit Larsen
Crazier - Taylor Swift
Rain Falls - Skrizzly Adams
Love Goes Boom - Bowling For Soup
Chicks Dig It - Chris Cagle
More - Hunter Hayes
This Ain’t My Day - Bowling For Soup
Arms - Christina Perri
Die a Happy Man - Thomas Rhett
Best Shot - Jimmie Allen
Speechless - The Veronicas
Balance Beam - Blue October
Delusional - Charlie Allen
I Don’t Want To Talk About It - Marit Larsen
I Would - Lower Than Atlantis
The Light - Disturbed
Nobody But Me - Michael Bublé
Niki FM - Hawthorn Heights
Listen to the playlist on Spotify!
http://bit.ly/SIGApl
AUTHOR’S NOTE
When I was first playing with the idea of writing this story, I spoke with my friend, Alisha Webster, to get some general information about what life is like living with lupus.
Sure, I’d seen what my sister, who also has lupus, has gone through, but I wanted another source of first person information on the disease.
One of the first things Alisha told me about was The Spoon Theory, which Summer mentions early on in the story.
To read the full theory, written by Christine Miserandino, please visit:
www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory
—
To learn more about lupus, or to donate to help educate others and search for a cure, please visit the the Lupus Foundation of America.
www.lupus.org
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
It took over a year to write this book, and I could never have done it without the constant nagging—I mean encouragement—from my writing partner in crime, Rachel Walter. Thank you Rachel. I don’t know what I’d do without you. (Probably never finish anything!)
A big thank you to my friend Alisha Webster and my sister Katie Schumacher for answering my questions about Lupus. I hope this story helps shed some light on some of your struggles.
A huge shout out to my beta readers: Alisha Webster, Maggie Douglas, Xavier Douglas, Jenn Garey, and Heidi Ketchum - thank you for being among the first eyes on my story and offering your feedback to help make this book stronger.
Thank you to my family for not being too annoyed when I locked myself in my office for hours on end because “MOM NEEDS TO WORK!”
Thank you to my mom, Nancy Schumacher, for the constant support and for editing all of my books.
Thank you Jess Brytowski for helping name my fictional town of Sol del Mar, California.
And to you, reader, your support means the world. Thank you.
About the Author
Caroline Andrus was born and raised in the St. Paul suburbs where she still lives with her husband, two daughters, and Henry McCoy—a wild cougar trapped in the body of a house cat.
When she’s not reading or writing, you can find her working out, playing dumb phone games, or catching up on Netflix.
Since 2011 she has been second in command for indie press Melange Books. She is head of acquisitions for their YA imprint, Fire & Ice Young Adult books, as well as web designer, formatter, and head of their cover art department.
She is passionate about both reading and writing teen fiction, and is pretty sure she will forever be eighteen at heart.
Join Caroline’s newsletter and stay up to date with her writing.
(She promises not to flood your inbox.)
www.carolineandrus.com
Caroline would love to hear from you!
Connect with her online:
www.carolineandrus.com
www.carolineandrus.com/blog
Something I'm Good At: A Sol del Mar High Novel Page 20
