“Happy to help in any way we can.” Zach sat a bit straighter.
“I understand you’ve got extensive notes related to your investigation,” Logan said. “Would you mind sharing those with me?”
“Of course,” Zach said. They’d discussed that they’d share their notes since the case hadn’t involved any confidential informants. “I’m assuming you’ll guarantee the information we provide is shared only with those involved in the investigation?”
“I will.” Logan wrote something on his tablet, then looked up again. “Is there anything I can give you, other than what we’ve already discussed?”
“I’d like to know who ran me off the road.”
“We found a car matching the description you gave.” Logan tapped the screen. “The vehicle was clean and the tags were missing. The VIN had been etched out, so we were unable to match it to any DMV records.”
Not good.
“We had the crime lab folks look it over. They found traces of paint matching your vehicle. Baby blue. We were also able to pull a partial print,” Logan said.
“And?” Brand asked.
“Car belongs to a Bruce Sutter. Small-time guy out of Elizabeth City. There’s a warrant out for his arrest. We’ll let you know if he’s picked up.”
Same as Zach’s attacker, a low-level criminal hired to encourage them to drop their investigation. “Thanks.” Disappointing, but not surprising.
Logan smiled and dug in his jacket pocket, retrieving two business cards that he then handed to Brand and Zach. “I doubt anyone will bother you two now that we’re involved, but if you notice anything suspicious, don’t hesitate to call me.”
“INTERESTING,” BRAND said as they walked to Zach’s car.
“Very.” Zach rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s possible Special Agent James is telling the truth about the out-of-state connection.”
“Either way, I’m guessing they’ll be making some arrests soon.” Brand hit his head on the car as he slid into the passenger seat. “Ow.” He rubbed the tender spot above his ear and sighed. “I really need to get a new car.”
“I don’t mind playing chauffeur.” Zach grinned. “Watching you bang your head is quite entertaining.”
Brand snorted and buckled himself in. He’d make a trip to the auto dealership in the morning and pick something out. Something he didn’t need to fold himself into a pretzel to fit.
“So what now?”
Zach shrugged. “Now I get back to the business of running a newspaper. We give it a week or two and see what Warfield tells the feds. After that, we put the story together. If the feds turn up something else, I’ll get my reporter to handle it.”
“You sure you’re willing to hand any follow-up on the story off to Reed?” More than anything, Brand was going to miss working together. There’ll be other opportunities. And even if there weren’t, he could live with that so long as he was with Zach.
“Absolutely sure. I need to get back to running the paper, especially if I’m going to buy the damn thing.”
Brand grinned like a cat. He’d been hoping for this since Zach first mentioned it.
“What’s that look for?
“Just that I knew you’d figure it out eventually.”
“Just because you dive in without considering the consequences,” Zach said, “doesn’t mean we all do.” He sighed theatrically, then added, “Talking to you about it helped. Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. So is that why you’ve been acting weird since the shooting?” Brand asked.
“Weird? In what way?”
“Focused like a laser. All business.” Brand paused, then decided on honesty. “I worry about you.”
“If you’re worried I’m rattled, I guess I am. But no more than anyone would be after they’ve spent a few minutes dodging bullets.”
“But something’s up.”
Zach nodded as he turned onto the highway back to the city. “There is something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about.”
“I’m listening.”
Zach focused entirely on the road and, for a long moment, seemed to gather his thoughts. For a split second, Brand worried this might have something to do with them. But when Zach glanced over at him, Brand was sure he understood.
“I’m going to New York on Monday,” Zach said. Five simple words, but Brand knew how difficult they were for Zach. “I need to take care of things.”
Brand hated that he couldn’t reach Zach and hold him, so he put his hand on Zach’s thigh. “What can I do to help?”
Zach drew a long breath and put his hand over’s Brand’s. “Just be there? In case I need to talk… when I need to talk.”
“I could go with you.”
Zach smiled and shook his head. “I’ve thought about that a lot. Having you there would make it easier….” He took a long breath. “But I need to do this myself or I’m not going to be able to move past it.” He put Brand’s hand to his lips and kissed it. “Much as I give you a hard time because you worry about me, I like that you’re there watching out for me. I feel loved.”
Brand breathed through a powerful wave of emotion. Even now, he wanted to make things easier for Zach. “I know.” He smiled and hoped Zach would understand that he didn’t think Zach was weak—he only wanted Zach to be happy. Safe.
“I don’t want to be a victim. I don’t want anyone to think of me that way either.” Zach turned onto Third Street. The sun was bright and the sky a brilliant blue. “But the only way I can moved forward is to face the thing I’ve let control me for the last five years. I’m tired of running. I need to let go of my past so I can have a future.”
Brand nodded, unsure of what to say. He didn’t doubt he figured in to that future. Zach had stopped running.
Zach looked over at Brand and smiled, then focused once more on the road. “I’m going public with what happened to me.” They stopped at a red light, and Zach met his gaze with fierce determination. “I’ve got this.”
“I know you do.” Brand’s eyes pricked with tears.
“There’s something else I need to do there,” Zach said after a long silence. “That part is about letting go.”
“You’re going to see Karen.”
“I owe it to her. No. That’s wrong. I owe it to both of us to close the circle, let her know how much she meant to me and how sorry I am that I left without saying goodbye.”
“She’ll understand,” Brand said.
“I know.” Zach’s eyes sparkled. “I’m still scared to death to see her.”
“She won’t think any less of you.” Brand had heard the love in Karen’s voice when she spoke about Zach.
“No. And that helps a little.”
“Coming clean means making yourself vulnerable.” He’d felt as much when he’d told Zach he loved him.
“Word.” Zach pulled into the lot beneath their building and cut the engine. “I don’t do vulnerable very well. Just the thought of falling in love again—” He wiped his eyes and met Brand’s gaze with determination. “—I was sure it’d be like dangling from a cliff by one hand.”
“And now?”
“To be honest, it still scares the crap out of me.” Zach put his hand to Brand’s cheek.
Brand covered Zach’s hand with his own. “That makes two of us.”
Zach leaned in and kissed him. A comfortable kiss, full of emotion. The perfect reflection of the way their relationship had grown. Brand had been with enough men that he understood how rare it was to feel as good about the friendship as he did about the physical connection. That was why he loved Zach.
“I’m around for as long as you want me,” Brand said after the kissed ended. “And even if you decide you want something I can’t give you, I’ll—”
Zach touched his fingers to Brand’s lips to silence him. “I may be scared of loving someone after what happened in New York, but I don’t doubt I love you. I know what I want. I made that decision on the ferry landing when I waited for you. I’m not chan
ging my mind.”
“I’ll miss you.”
“I’ll only be gone two days.” Zach gave him a peck on the cheek. “Kendra’s on Brand duty.”
“Brand duty?”
“That’s what she’s calling it. She and Jesse’ll make sure you don’t mope the entire time I’m gone.”
“I won’t mo—”
“The hell you won’t.” Zach kissed him again.
“Yeah.” He’d make sure to show up at the airport with flowers when Zach got back. Candlelit meal, lots of sex…. Brand sighed happily.
“I love you,” Zach whispered against Brand’s ear.
“I love you too.”
Chapter Thirty-Eight
ZACH TOOK a deep breath and stepped out of the rental car. The cold wind hit him like a slap to the face. When he’d left North Carolina that morning, it had been a balmy sixty-seven degrees. Here in New Jersey, with the windchill, it was barely twenty.
“Call me if you need me,” Brand had told him when he dropped Zach at the airport. “Kendra says she’s chaining me to my desk if I don’t finish the copy on two hurricane stories.”
Now, as he walked through the front entrance of the CBN affiliate in Edison, Zach wondered if he should have brought Brand with him. Things back in Wilmington seemed so much more real. More certain. Everything about this trip was a crapshoot.
This isn’t his fight, and you aren’t that twenty-eight-year-old kid anymore.
“May I help you?” The receptionist smiled at him.
“I’m here to see Karen Lester. Is she available?” The butterflies in his gut felt more like a pack of killer bees, and the deep breathing wasn’t helping.
“What’s your name?” she asked.
“Zach Caldwell. I’m a… I’m an old friend.”
“Of course, Mr. Caldwell. I’ll let her know you’re here. Please have a seat.” She gestured to the waiting room, smiled again, then picked up the phone.
“Zach?” Karen stared at him. She looked older than he remembered, but her eyes were just as bright and her expression just as caring. She looked happy. Relaxed.
“Karen.” He stood and held out his hand to shake hers, but she flung herself at him and hugged him so tightly, it took all his self-control not to cry.
She, on the other hand, didn’t try to cover her emotional reaction. She released him and wiped tears from her cheeks. “Sorry. It’s just that when the receptionist mentioned your name, it all hit me so hard.”
The lump in his throat morphed into a boulder. “I thought about calling ahead. I couldn’t get up the nerve.”
“I’m glad you came. You don’t know how much I’ve missed you.”
“Thanks.” He hadn’t realized until that moment how much he’d missed her.
She led him back to her office, a small but bright room at the back of the building with a view of the parking lot. “It’s a lot different than my office in New York,” she said, as if she’d read his mind.
“You happy here?”
She nodded. “It wasn’t just your leaving that made me realize I needed to get out of the city, but that was that last straw.”
“I’m sorry I left without saying goodbye.” Guilt threatened to swallow him whole.
“Don’t you do that guilt crap.” Her bittersweet smile belied her harsh words. “I can see it in your eyes. Woulda coulda bullshit. You know that doesn’t fly with me.”
He laughed. “Am I that obvious?”
“Only to me.”
“You always could read me like a book.” He settled back against the chair and relaxed for the first time that day.
“When your friend—Brand, is it? When he called me, I was so relieved.”
Hearing Brand’s name made Zach smile. “I was so pissed when he told me he’d been poking around in my past.” He shook his head. “But if he hadn’t….”
“You’re head over heels for him, aren’t you?”
“I really am obvious.”
She nodded. “It’s written all over your face when you say his name.”
“Funny thing…. I met him twelve years ago, when you and I were working together. Remember when my high school English teacher roped me into doing a Q&A at a school on Long Island?”
“He was the kid?”
“Yep. Seems my bullshit sunk in. He ended up following me into the business. I’d completely forgotten about him until we bumped into each other in North Carolina.” He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. “I managed to forget a lot of things.”
Her smile faded. “I was right about Greenburg, wasn’t I?”
He nodded. “We’d all heard the rumors. I was sure I could make it through that bullshit and come out smelling like flowers. I turned him down. Looked him right in the eyes, pulled his slimy hand off me, and turned him down.”
“But you got the job.” She frowned. “I don’t understand.”
“Got the job, lost Greg.” It didn’t hurt as much as when he’d told Brand about it.
“He thought you’d slept with Greenburg?”
“Greenburg helped him come to that conclusion.” Zach clenched then unclenched his jaw. Breathe. Just breathe. “It wasn’t just about losing Greg, though. It wasn’t about the rumors I knew were coming about how I got the gig.”
Zach inhaled a calming breath. “I was so angry—so hurt—I took a subway down to Battery Park and I just sat there. I couldn’t go home. I couldn’t go to the office. I realized I was never going to be able to escape. That bastard wasn’t going to take no for answer.” He closed his eyes briefly, then smiled at her through watery eyes. “Eventually I’d have to fuck him or he’d take it all away. I couldn’t live like that.”
“Oh, Zach.” Tears streamed down her cheeks as she grabbed him and hugged him. “I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be.” He gently pulled away, then took her hands in his. “Knowing you and Kevin would have been there if I’d needed you… that meant everything to me. It’s why I got up the nerve to make a new start. Because I knew that if I fell flat on my face….”
“I’ve done a little research on Greenburg over the years. Followed him.” She reached for a tissue and blew her nose. “It isn’t enough for a conviction, but I figured I’d hold on to it in case you needed it.”
He offered her what he hoped was a reassuring smile. “Thank you.”
She stood and walked over to a file cabinet near the window, opened a drawer, and thumbed through it to retrieve a folder. “It’s yours.” She handed it to him.
He paged through the folder, then closed it again. “You did this for me?”
“I only wish I could have done more.”
“You’ve done a lot.”
She shrugged but said nothing.
“How about you? How’s life treating you these days?” he asked.
“Life’s good.” She smiled and put a hand to her abdomen. “My partner Larry and I are expecting in June.”
“Congratulations. That’s a lucky kid. You’ll make a great mother.”
She beamed. “Larry asked me to marry him a few weeks ago.”
“And?”
“And I told him I’ll think about it. I don’t need a ring to know he’s the one.” She grinned and added, “He’s pretty persuasive, though.”
“I’d like to meet him.”
“You will.” She gave him that look he remembered from when they worked together that said you have absolutely no choice in the matter. “You’ll either be flying up here for a wedding—with your man—or I’ll be visiting the Carolinas with a new baby.” Either way, he’d be happy to see her again.
“Settling the score with Greenburg is only half the reason I came,” Zach said as they stood in the lobby a few minutes later.
She smiled. “What’s the other?”
“Reconnecting with the people I cared about—who I still care about.” He gave her a hug. “Like you.”
“That means a lot. I told Brand you’re one of the best men I know. I meant it.” She kissed
him on the cheek.
“I’ll—we, Brand and I, will be there if you decide you want that ring.”
He sat in his car for nearly ten minutes after he left the office. He’d never cried much, even as a kid, but the tears felt good.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
“HOW ARE you really?” Brand asked when Zach called him that evening from his Manhattan hotel room.
“Terrified, but good.” Zach looked at the city lights out his window and felt the familiar excitement well up from his toes. “Seeing Karen was better than good.”
“I’m glad.”
“I’ve invited us to her wedding.”
Brand chuckled. “I’m in. When is it?”
“No idea. It’s a work in progress.” Zach had seen the look in Karen’s eyes. She’d already made her mind up to marry Larry, she just hadn’t realized it yet. “It’s still strange being back here. I think that’s where the terrified part fits in.”
“Strange how?”
“My memories feel like they belong to someone else.” He felt oddly disconnected from his old life. “But sometimes I go somewhere or see something familiar, and it’s like I never left.”
“I wish I could have come with you.” Brand sounded genuinely disappointed.
“I like having you as my cheerleader.” The warmth he’d come to associate with Brand made his fingers tingle. “I miss you.” He still felt vulnerable saying it.
“I miss you too.” Brand said nothing for a long moment, as though gathering his thoughts. “Are you sure you’re ready to go public? Because if you need the support, I could be on the next flight—”
“I’m ready.” He lay back on the pillows and stared up at the hotel’s popcorn ceiling. The smoke detector flashed green every so often, and the sounds of Midtown traffic seemed suddenly louder. “It means a lot to me that you’re willing to hold my hand while I do this.”
“But you need to do it alone.” Of course Brand understood.
“Thanks.”
“Oh, I meant to tell you,” Brand said after a long pause. “Jesse and Kendra are throwing me a birthday party next month at Craven’s. I told them they didn’t need to, but they insisted.”
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