by W. W. Jacobs
Produced by David Edwards and the Online DistributedProofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file wasproduced from images generously made available by TheInternet Archive)
Transcriber's Note: Minor typographical errors have been correctedwithout note.
THE OLD MAN'S BAG
T. W. H. CROSLAND AND J. R. MONSELL
The Dumpy Books for Children
NO. 22. THE OLD MAN'S BAG.
THE DUMPY BOOKS FOR CHILDREN.
_Cloth, Royal 32 mo, 1/6 each._
I. The Flamp, the Ameliorator, and the Schoolboy's Apprentice. By E. V. LUCAS.
II. Mrs. Turner's Cautionary Stories. Edited by E. V. LUCAS.
III. The Bad Family. By MRS. FENWICK. Edited by E. V. LUCAS.
IV. The Story of Little Black Sambo. Illustrated in Colours. By HELEN BANNERMAN.
V. The Bountiful Lady. By THOMAS COBB.
VI. A Cat Book. Portraits by H. OFFICER SMITH. Text by E. V. LUCAS.
VII. A Flower Book. Illustrated in Colours by NELLIE BENSON. Text by EDEN COYBEE.
VIII. The Pink Knight. Illustrated in Colours by J. R. MONSELL.
IX. The Little Clown. By THOMAS COBB.
X. A Horse Book. Illustrated in Colours. By MARY TOURTEL.
XI. Little People: An Alphabet. Illustrated in Colours by HENRY MAYER. Verses by T. W. H. CROSLAND.
XII. A Dog Book. Illustrated in Colours by CARTON MOORE PARK. Text by ETHEL BICKNELL.
XIII. The Adventures of Samuel and Selina. Illustrated in Colours by JEAN C. ARCHER.
XIV. The Little Girl Lost. By ELEANOR RAPER.
XV. Dollies. Illustrated in Colours by RUTH COBB. Verses by RICHARD HUNTER.
XVI. The Bad Mrs. Ginger. Illustrated in Colours by HONOR C. APPLETON.
XVII. Peter Piper's Practical Principles. Illustrated in Colours.
XVIII. Little White Barbara. Illustrated in Colours by ELEANOR S. MARCH.
XIX. The Japanese Dumpy Book. Illustrated in Colours by YOSHIO MARKINO.
XX. Towlocks and His Wooden Horse. Illustrated in Colours by HONOR C. APPLETON. Text by ALICE M. APPLETON.
XXI. The Three Little Foxes. By MARY TOURTEL. Illustrated in Colours.
XXII. The Old Man's Bag. By T. W. H. CROSLAND. Illustrated in Colours by J. R. MONSELL.
XXIII. The Three Goblins. By M. E. TAGGART. Illustrated in Colours.
_A Cloth Case to contain Twelve Volumes can be had, price 2s. net; orthe First Twelve Volumes in Case, price L1 net._
LONDON: GRANT RICHARDS,48 Leicester Square.
The old man went for a walk and took the bag with him.]
THE OLD MAN'S BAG
By
T. W. H. CROSLAND
PICTURES BY
J. R. MONSELL
LONDON:GRANT RICHARDS1903
ILLUSTRATIONS.
THE OLD MAN WENT FOR A WALK _Frontispiece_
PAGE
THE OLD MAN SAID "CHUCK, CHUCK!" 2
THE RED POLICEMAN RAN AFTER HIM 7
"WHATEVER ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?" 10
SHE TOOK THE BAG DOWN 15
"BUTTER IS CHEAP TO-DAY" 18
"YOU ARE A VERY FOOLISH OLD WOMAN" 23
WHO SHOULD STEP IN BUT THE RED POLICEMAN 26
"PLEASE MEASURE ME FOR A SOLDIER'S SUIT" 31
HE BEGAN TO STRUT ABOUT 42
THE OLD WOMAN WAS KNOCKING APPLES OFF A TREE 47
BURNT THE PIECES ON THE FIRE 58
THE OLD MAN'S BAG.
CHAPTER I.
The old man lived in a wood. He had a wife and a bag. The bag was quitea large bag. One day the old man went out for a walk. He took the bagwith him. By and by he saw a hen in a field. Now when you see a hen ina field you say "Chuck, chuck!" The old man said "Chuck, chuck!" Andthe hen came to him. So that he caught her by the neck and put her inhis bag. She made a great to-do, but he put her in.
The old man said "Chuck, chuck!" and the hen came tohim.]
On his way home, just as he turned a corner, the old man saw apoliceman. The policeman had a red suit. He was one of those policemenwho wear red suits because they are tired of wearing blue. The redpoliceman looked very hard at the old man and very hard at his bag. Infact he looked so very very hard that the old man got frightened andturned round and ran away.
Of course the red policeman ran after him. When they had run about fivemiles the old man dropped his bag in order that he might run quicker.The red policeman had made up his mind to catch him; so that he did notstop to pick up the bag but kept on running after the old man. Atlength when they had run about ten miles he caught him.
The red policeman ran after him.]
"Now, sir," said the red policeman, "what have you got in that bag?"
"Nothing," said the old man.
"Oh, you wicked old person," said the red policeman. "You knowperfectly well that you have a hen in it. But you must come back withme, and we will soon find out."
So the red policeman took the old man back to the place where he haddropped the bag. The bag was there, and the red policeman picked it upand opened it with great care. But the hen had got away. There was abig hole in the corner of the bag, and through this the hen hadsqueezed herself and run home as fast as ever she could. When thepoliceman found that the bag was empty he looked much puzzled. The oldman for his part smiled a great deal. "I told you there was nothing init," he said.
The red policeman said, "Well, I expect I shall have to let you go thistime. BUT MIND YOU DON'T DO IT AGAIN."
And the old man went home quite cheerfully with his bag under his arm.
CHAPTER II.
When the old man got home to his house in the wood he hung the bag uptidily on a nail. Then he sat down in a chair and began to laugh. Helaughed for nearly a quarter of an hour by the clock. At length hiswife came in to him from the garden and said,
"Whatever are you laughing at?"
"Whatever are you laughing at?"]
"Oh," replied the old man, holding his sides, "I am so amused!" Then hewent on laughing. He laughed so much indeed that the tears came intohis eyes and he nearly choked. His wife had to pat his back and givehim a drink of water to put him right.
Then he told her what had happened. How he had put a hen in his bag,how the red policeman had run after him, how he dropped the bag and letthe policeman catch him, and how when the policeman took him back tothe bag, the hen was gone.
"Did she open the bag and fly away?" said the old woman.
"No," said the old man. "She got out through that hole in the corner."
"Ah," said the old woman, "I must sew up that hole."
And she took the bag down from its nail and sewed up the hole. For shewas a very neat woman and she did not like to see holes in bags.
She took the bag down and sewed up the hole.]
CHAPTER III.
The next day was market day. On market day people who have butter orcheese to sell take it into the market to sell it. And people who havemoney and happen to want butter or cheese go into the market to buy it.The old man's wife had nothing to sell. Neither had she any money. Butshe wanted some butter very badly. So she took the old man's bag offthe nail and carried it to market. She walked round the market with thebag under her arm and looked at all the stalls and enquired how muchthe strawberries were a pound; but she did not buy anything because shehad no money. In a little while she came to a stall on which there weresix rolls of fine fresh butter, and in front of them
was a card onwhich the man who brought the butter to market had written--
BUTTER IS CHEAP TO-DAY.
"Butter is cheap to-day!"]
"I am glad butter is cheap to-day," said the old woman to herself, andwhen the man who had brought the butter to market was not looking shepicked up a roll and dropped it into her bag. Then she ran away as fastas she could.
When she got round the corner the red policeman saw her. He shoutedout, "What have you got in that bag?"
"Nothing," said the old woman, still running.
But the policeman kept running after her. When they had run about fivemiles the old woman dropped the bag, so that she might run quicker. Thepoliceman, however, had made up his mind to catch her, and when theyhad run about ten miles he caught her.
"Now," he said, "you must come back with me to your bag, and we willsee if there is anything in it." The old man's wife said that she wassure there was nothing in it. "All right," said the policeman, "but ifyou don't mind we will go back and see." So they went back to the bag,and the policeman opened it with great care. Inside he found the rollof butter.
The old man's wife began to cry. "Oh dear, oh dear," she said, "what apity it is that I sewed up that hole."
"Why?" asked the red policeman.
"Because if I had not sewn up the hole the butter might have got out,like my husband's hen."
"You are a very foolish old woman," said the policeman. "Do you notknow that a roll of butter cannot walk like a hen?"
"You are a very foolish old woman."]
"Is that really so?" said the old woman. "Well, well. But I have seenbutter run when it was melted."
"Never mind that," said the red policeman, "you will have to come withme to prison."
"I am too busy to go with you just now," said the old woman, "and myhusband wants the butter for his tea. But if you like to call for me inthe morning and the weather is fine I will come with you withpleasure."
"You are very polite," said the red policeman. "If you had been rude Ishould have made you go with me now. As it is I will call for you inthe morning providing it doesn't rain."
"Thank you so much," said the old woman.
And she shook the red policeman warmly by the hand and went off to herhusband.
CHAPTER IV.
When she got home the old man was sat in his chair by the fire. Shecould see by his face that he was in a bad temper. But she went up tohim and kissed him and said, "Please don't be grumpy, for I havebrought you something very nice for your tea."
"What is it?" said the old man, "a hen?"
"No," she said, "people don't have hens for tea, do they?"
"Perhaps not," said the old man. "But if you had brought a hen shemight have laid an egg, and I could have had that. You know very wellthat I am fond of new laid eggs."
"New laid eggs are all very fine," said the old woman, "but butter ischeap to-day. I have brought you a beautiful fresh roll."
The old man smacked his lips.
While they were having tea the old woman began to laugh very much.
"What are you laughing at?" said the old man. "Did you meet the redpoliceman?"
"Yes, I did," said the old woman.
"And did he catch you?"
"Yes, he did," said the old woman.
"And he let you go?"
"Yes, he did," said the old woman.
"Why?"
"Because I was polite to him," said the old woman.
"Well I never," said the old man.
"But he is coming for me in the morning, providing the weather isfine," said the old woman.
The old man sat still in his chair and thought a great deal.
And by and by he said, "If you had asked the red policeman to tea likea sensible woman he might have let you off altogether."
"I shall know better next time," said the old woman.
CHAPTER V.
When the old man and his wife woke up next morning they looked out ofthe window and saw that the weather was quite fine. The old man beganto whistle and sing. He always did this when the weather was finebecause he said fine weather always made him feel in such good spirits.In a little while the old woman began to sing too. Then the old manstopped.
"What are you singing for?" he said to the old woman.
"I feel in such good spirits," the old woman replied.
"Oh, you do, do you?" said the old man. "You appear to forget that thered policeman is coming for you."
"Oh dear, oh dear," said the old woman. "What a bad memory I have to besure. Whatever shall I do?" And she burst into tears.
"There, there," said the old man, "don't cry. We will give him sixpencewhen he calls, and ask him to have a piece of bread and butter with jamon it. Then perhaps he will go away."
They went downstairs and had breakfast. They had just finished whenthere came an awfully loud knock at the door. The old woman went verypale.
"It is the red policeman," she said.
The old man went to open the door. But the old woman pulled him back.
"You are forgetting the sixpence," she said, "and the piece of breadand butter with jam on it."
"Of course, of course," said the old man, and he felt in his pocket forsixpence while the old woman cut a nice large thick slice of bread andcovered it with butter and jam.
"Perhaps after all," said the old man, "we had better not open thedoor, but hand the policeman the sixpence and the bread and butter withjam on it through the window."
So he opened the window a little way and held out the sixpence and thebread and butter with jam on it to the person outside.
"Thanks very much," said the person outside. And he put the sixpence inhis pocket and began to eat the bread and butter with jam on it. Andwhen he had finished eating he knocked again very loudly at the door.
"Go away," said the old man. "My wife is not coming out with youto-day."
"I don't want your wife to come out with me," said the person at thedoor; "I have called to look at the gas meter."
"We haven't got a gas meter now," said the old man, "we burn nothingbut electric light."
"Many, many thanks," said the person at the door, and he went away.
"I feel all of a flutter," said the old woman, sinking into a chair.
"So do I," said the old man. "And he has got my sixpence too."
CHAPTER VI.
In a little while the old woman began to put the breakfast things away.Afterwards she took up the table-cover and went out into the gardenwith it to shake off the bread crumbs. As she stepped out of the doorwho should step in but the red policeman. The old woman trembled verymuch when she saw him go in, and she shook the table-cover severaltimes over in order that she might think what to say to the redpoliceman. Just then it began to rain. The old woman ran into the houseat once.
Who should step in but the red policeman.]
"Good morning, madam," said the red policeman, and he made a nice bow.
"Good morning, sir," said the old woman. "What, might I ask, brings youhere?"
"I have called, madam," replied the red policeman, making another bow,"for the purpose of taking you with me to prison for stealing a roll ofbutter."
"Where is the roll of butter?" said the old woman.
The policeman looked very hard at the butter dish, but there was nobutter on it. The old man and his wife and the gas-man had eaten itall.
"I beg your pardon, I am sure," said the policeman.
"The idea!" said the old woman. "Besides you said you would not callthis morning unless the weather were fine, and you see for yourselfthat it is now raining cats and dogs."
"I am truly sorry, madam," said the policeman, bowing once more. "WhenI come to think of it, I did say that I would not call if it rained.Pray forgive me. We all make mistakes sometimes, you know."
"I don't like such mistakes," said the old woman. "Now kindly leave thehouse."
"Oh, please don't turn me out," said the red policeman, "it is rainingvery hard indeed, and I might get
my feet wet."
"We should always be kind," said the old woman, "even to policemen, andas it is raining and I left my umbrella in an omnibus the other day, Iwill lend you my sunshade. But please go."
The old woman put the sunshade into the policeman's hand. He looked atit very hard.
"It is a blue one," he said. "It is not fashionable to wear a bluesunshade with a red suit. Thank you all the same, but I think I will gowithout it."
He went.
The old man, who had been quietly laughing to himself, danced aboutwith joy when he saw the policeman leave. Then he ran to the window andput his head out, and called out after the policeman, "I say. When yourclothes are quite wet enough be sure you come back and have themdried."
But the red policeman took no notice of him.
CHAPTER VII.
The red policeman got so wet that by the time he reached his house allthe dye had come out of his suit. He felt very angry indeed.
"I must try not to make mistakes," he said, "sometimes they bring oneinto fearful trouble. As my suit is spoilt I think I will give up beinga policeman. A policeman without a suit is no good at all."
So he went to bed and had hot bricks to his feet and a mustard plasteron his chest, and sent for the tailor to measure him for a new suit ofclothes.
When the tailor came the policeman said to him, "I am quite tired ofbeing a policeman, and I think I should now like to be a soldier.Please measure me for a soldier's suit. The coat you will make of greencloth and the trousers must be yellow."
