Cade stepped out of the room and moved to Tilly’s room. Her door was ajar, so he slowly pushed it open. “Tilly?” When he heard no answer, he opened the door wider. The older woman was in bed, but her room wasn’t as warm as the baby’s. There was also a distinct odor – one that he would always remember. It was the scent of sickness.
Inwardly, he groaned. He needed to bring Doctor Hamilton out of retirement long enough to get Carrie’s maid feeling better.
Cade hurried to her bed and placed his hand on her sweaty brow. The woman was burning up.
Cussing under his breath, he spun around and ran to Carrie’s bedroom. He rushed inside and to the bed. “Carrie, wake up. Tilly needs your help.”
Groggily, Carrie blinked open her eyes. Dazed and clearly confused, she looked around the room before her gaze snapped back to him.
“Carrie, Parker Joe is crying, but Tilly cannot mind the baby. She has a very high fever, and I—”
Quick as lightning, Carrie jumped out of bed. As she slipped on her wrapper, she stepped into her slippers. Cade moved down the hall, leading the way. Carrie rushed past him to Tilly’s side.
“Tilly? Can you hear me?” Carrie gently touched the woman’s forehead. Tears formed in Carrie’s eyes, and as the seconds turned into minutes and Tilly still hadn’t awakened, Carrie’s tears slid down her cheeks in gushes. “Cade? Can you... help her?”
He nodded. “I’ll try my hardest. But you need to take care of your son first. Let me take care of Tilly.”
Nodding, she wiped the tears from her eyes. “Thank you, Cade.”
He waited for Carrie to leave the room before he checked the older woman more thoroughly. He had to retrieve his stethoscope and tongue compressor from his medical bag in one of his trunks, but he was able to listen to Tilly’s breathing. She had fluid in her lungs. Pneumonia.
Her fever was high, and he needed to bring it down quickly. Not often was he grateful for lots of snow, but this would be one of the rare moments. He hurried outside to the barn and found an empty bucket, and then hurried to the snow-packed ground and scooped several handfuls of snow into the bucket.
Once inside Tilly’s room, he packed the snow around her neck and head, and then in her armpits and even between her legs. He’d only treated one case of pneumonia, and the woman wasn’t this bad off. But he had watched Doctor Dawson with a very ill patient with a high fever, and this was what the doctor had done.
Cade prayed he could still save her and that he would remember how not to panic.
* * * *
Carrie had gotten her fussy baby to sleep again, and as she rocked him in the rocking chair, she listened intently for any sounds of Tilly waking up. Cade had been in and out of the maid’s room for two hours, and as time passed slowly, her fears escalated. She couldn’t lose Tilly. It had been devastating enough to lose her husband, but Tilly... she was like an aunt to Carrie. That woman had been part of Carrie’s heart for so long, she didn’t think she’d be able to handle having the woman die.
“Please, Lord,” Carrie whispered brokenly, “don’t take Tilly from me.”
It surprised her that she still had tears to shed since she thought she had used them all up when Michael died. But her tears wouldn’t stop, not until Cade gave her some good news.
During the wait, her mind replayed the strange dream she had last night. She’d felt as if she was in a man’s strong arms, with her hand on his bare chest... and she liked it. The man in her dream couldn’t have possibly been Michael, because he always wore a nightshirt. What bothered her more than anything were the tingling feelings she’d received during this dream and knowing it wasn’t about Michael.
When Cade had snapped her awake, and as she rushed in to check on Tilly, her body had still felt as though she was in his arms. It was a most disturbing feeling, yet... a very curious sensation that made her want to experience it again.
After what seemed like forever, the floor squeaked as Cade stepped into the nursery. His hair was tousled, his shirt was opened wide at his throat, and his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, but she didn’t think she would ever see another man look so handsome as he did. Relief was on his expression, and he gave her a tired smile.
“Her fever has broken,” he said softly.
Tears of happiness welled in Carrie’s eyes. She wanted to shout in joy, but waking little Parker Joe wasn’t a good idea. “Is she awake?”
He nodded. “After the fever broke, she opened her eyes and thanked me.”
“Will she recover?”
He inhaled a shaky breath. “I pray she will. She has pneumonia, and it’s hard for her to breathe. She will need to cough out the infection from her body. I hope she’s strong enough.”
“She has always been strong.” After Carrie said it, she thought back on her life and realized that Tilly didn’t get sick very often. Hopefully, that would mean she was a fighter.
Cade softly stepped into the room, moving closer to Carrie. His gaze dropped to little Parker Joe. “How is your son?”
Carrie’s heart melted that he would think of the baby at this time. “He’s fine.”
“He hasn’t gotten sick?”
She shook her head. “And I pray he doesn’t.”
“I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.” He lifted his hand and touched her cheek in a light caress. “How are you holding up?”
She wasn’t sure she liked – or understood – the butterflies dancing in her belly right now or the way his gaze made her warm inside. Neither did she like that the feelings she’d had in her dreams were back. Then again, maybe she did like it after all. “I’ve had worse days.”
“I’m sure you have.” He motioned toward the kitchen. “I’ll make soup for lunch. That’ll be better for Tilly’s body, anyway.”
“I’ll lay Parker Joe down and come help you.”
Carrie struggled to stand with the baby in her arms, so Cade assisted. His hands on her arms felt oddly comforting. He also helped lay her son in his crib. Having Cade this close to her was doing crazy little things to her body, making her limbs quake.
She wasn’t certain why she told him she’d help. Tilly had always made the meals. All Carrie helped with was peeling the potatoes and carrots or chopping the onions. But Cade would find out soon enough what kind of a wife she’d been to Michael, so it might as well be today.
They didn’t speak as they left the nursery and walked to the kitchen. Her nerves were jumping like hot kernels, and her heartbeat whacked against her ribs so hard she thought it would leave bruises. Her mind pictured him as he’d been in her dreams last night, which only made her emotions go insane.
“Do you mind if I just snoop through your kitchen?” he asked.
“Go right ahead.” Carrie moved to the closet where Tilly kept the vegetables. “What type of soup should we make?”
“Chicken broth?”
“How about bone broth with vegetables? I fear we are limited down to one chicken for eggs.”
“Then bone broth with vegetables sounds delicious.”
She mentally patted herself on the back for at least acting like she knew what she was doing. As she and Cade peeled potatoes, she struggled to remember the times she’d helped Tilly make the soup. She must remember every step, even down to adding the spices.
“Carrie?” Cade asked without looking up from the potato he was peeling. “Why did you name your son Parker Joe? I’d thought your husband would have wanted Michael junior.”
“I suggested that to Michael, but he was adamant about Parker Joe. All he told me was that he had a childhood friend named Parker Joe, and Michael wanted to name his first-born child after his friend.” She paused, staring at Cade. “Why would you ask?”
“This will sound strange, but I knew a woman with that name.”
She scrunched her forehead. “You knew a woman with a man’s name?”
“She spelled her middle name J.O.”
“Oh, I see.” Carrie shrugged. “I suppose it’s a common name.
”
Cade paused, looking at her. “But it’s not. Parker, yes, and Jo – short for Josephine – yes, but the two names combined as though you’re saying one name? That’s not common at all.”
As Carrie thought back to all of the people she’d met over the years, she realized Cade was correct. “Well, then I suppose it is strange that you would know a woman by that name.” She paused briefly. “Where did you know her?”
“She worked at Bellevue hospital, where I was an intern. That would have been almost four years ago.”
A chill passed through Carrie, and she couldn’t move her hands to continue peeling. Her mind buzzed with memories of what Michael had told her about when his mother was in Bellevue’s hospital for a month. That had happened right before Michael started courting Carrie.
What were the odds that the Parker Joe Michael spoke of was the same Parker Jo that Cade referred to?
She cleared her throat that was suddenly clogging with the bile from her churning stomach. “What did this lady look like?”
Cade glanced back at her, and for a brief moment, his gaze swept over her face and hair. “She has long brown hair as you do. Her face is more round, and her cheeks are pudgy.”
“She was a fat woman?”
Cade chuckled. “No, it’s just that her face was round, which made her cheeks bigger.”
“How old was she?”
“She is probably around your age.” He returned to peeling his potato.
Carrie stared at the knife in her hand, not seeing what she was doing. Her spinning thoughts wouldn’t allow her to concentrate on anything else. Michael had talked about his friend, taking long walks with him, riding horses through the countryside, and even having snowball fights with some of the others their age. When Michael spoke of his friend, his eyes lit up, and his cheeks turned pink. It was as if Michael had drifted away to another place and time to relive his happiest moments.
Other memories filled Carrie’s head. When she was heavy with child, Michael had gone into a deep melancholy. At the time, she had thought he was just nervous about being a father, just as she was anxious about being a mother. One particular night, he’d drank a little too much whiskey, and during the night, he’d rolled over to hold her and whispered Parker. At the time, she wasn’t sure about the second name he’d muttered. The next morning when she’d asked him about it, he said he’d been dreaming of his childhood friend, Parker Joe, and he wanted to give their child that name. She had agreed, but if the baby was a girl, she had wanted to name it.
Carrie’s stomach lurched, and she gnashed her teeth, trying not to lose what little was in her stomach. Michael had been in love with a woman whom his parents didn’t approve of, which was why he had started courting Carrie. He’d told her many times over the years how grateful he was for marrying her and not the other woman. Yet, if this other woman was Parker Jo... Had he been thinking about her the whole time he’d been married to Carrie?
As though in a tunnel, she heard her name being called – softly at first, before growing louder and louder. As she snapped back to reality, Cade was kneeling in front of her, holding her hands. His expression was one of worry. On the table was the knife and potato... what was left of the potato after she had nearly massacred it.
“Carrie? Can you hear me now?”
Her breaths had become irregular, and her body trembled violently. “I... I can hear you.”
“What just happened?” He released her hands and cupped her face. “Carrie, you were stabbing your knife into the potato so viciously that I thought you might injure yourself.”
She wanted to laugh it off, embarrassed about being caught acting like a madwoman, but she didn’t have the energy for humor right now. “I... I need some air. I need... to be alone.”
Pushing away from Cade, she hurried outside, not caring that she didn’t have her jacket or cloak to ward off the chill in the air. However, she knew the coolness against her hot face would bring some relief to the rage rolling through her. Sadly, she doubted it would help the memories disappear.
SIX
Cade wasn’t sure how to act. Dealing with his sister’s emotional days was nothing like what Carrie was going through. Then again, he hadn’t cared to help Savannah. That was his mother’s problem, not his. But Carrie was his problem now... and he really wanted to help her.
Before hurrying outside, she’d told him she wanted to be alone. But as he watched her out the window, he noticed the turmoil in her expression as she walked aimlessly around the yard. Being a doctor, he didn’t want her out in the cold without warm boots and a warm cloak, but he also didn’t want to upset her by asking her to come inside.
Sometime during the morning, as he was caring for Tilly, Carrie had dressed for the day, wearing a lovely lavender blouse with a black skirt. She had pulled her hair back and tied it with a black ribbon. He liked that she didn’t wear her hair like most married women – coiled so tight at the back of their head that their eyes nearly popped out. He enjoyed seeing her hair long and flowing over her shoulders and down her back... just as she’d been this morning while curled up in his arms.
Cade wasn’t sure what had made her this way. They’d been talking about how her son had gotten his name. And once Carrie asked what Parker Jo looked like, Carrie’s mind had just taken off to a different place. He had watched her closely, realizing that she wasn’t paying attention to him or peeling the potato, but when she started stabbing the vegetable as her brown eyes clouded over with tears of anger, he knew it was time to take the knife out of her hand.
When he had called out to her a few times, and she hadn’t heard him, he feared she’d gone mad. Now he worried that this was a common thing for her to do. Dear heavens, he hoped not, but it made sense why her parents allowed her to take the family maid with her once she married and moved away from home.
Or maybe... Carrie was just a troubled woman, still trying to recover from her mourning period. He wanted to believe that second option.
Cade noticed her heavy cloak hanging on the peg next to the door. He grabbed the garment and hurried outside. Carrie didn’t notice him until he was almost right next to her. She jumped, and her brown eyes grew wide. He didn’t say anything but held up her cloak in a silent offering to help.
As she stared at him, tears swam in her eyes, and she stepped into the garment while he wrapped it around her shoulders. Within seconds, her body shook as sobs of anguish came from her throat. Immediately, she turned toward him and pressed her face against his chest.
Hearing her heart-wrenching sobs nearly tore him apart. He circled his arms around her, pulling her closer to him. He pressed his mouth against her head, giving her a tender kiss of reassurance.
Cade wished she would talk to him, and although she might not be ready, he hoped that she would soon open up. How else would he be able to say the right comforting words to her?
After a few minutes, her crying subsided. She stayed in his arms as he rubbed her back. Her breaths were ragged, but at least she wasn’t sobbing uncontrollably. Heaving another breath, she tilted her head back and looked up at him.
He offered a sweet smile and gently stroked her moist cheeks, removing the tears. “Do you want to go inside?”
She nodded. “We need to get that soup made for Tilly.”
“Yes, we do.”
Keeping his arm around her shoulders, he turned them toward the house. It surprised him that she didn’t pull away but walked with him inside. He removed her cloak and hung it back on the peg. She waited beside him, and then they went into the kitchen in silence and sat at the table. He picked up the knife she’d been using and looked at her with an arched eyebrow.
“Do I trust you to use this knife the right way now?”
She chuckled and nodded. “Yes, I’m fine. The person I would use this on is already dead, so you don’t need to worry about me.”
Confusion filled him. Was Carrie upset at Michael? It must have something to do with the woman Cade had mentioned
.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.
She stared at the knife as she blinked back tears. “Let’s just say I realized something about Michael that I should have known before, but I was too blind to see.” She inhaled deeply and straightened her shoulders. “And from this point forward, my son’s name will be PJ.”
Cade nodded. “I understand.”
Carrie took another potato and started peeling. “Will you tell me about some experiences you had as a doctor? I need something to distract me from my depressing thoughts.”
Although he didn’t want to discuss those days as a doctor, he would help her out. He searched through his memory and found a humorous one. “When I first started working with Doctor Dawson, I met Mrs. Langely. She was an older woman who had every disorder in the book.” Carrie’s gaze snapped up, and her eyes widened. He chuckled. “So, the woman thought,” he quickly explained. “There are some people who believe they are sick, and so, they are.”
A small smile touched her face. “I had an aunt like that once.”
“Then, you know how they complain about everything, and they are never satisfied.”
“Never.” She laughed.
“Well, Mrs. Langely started coming to see me because Doctor Dawson was tired of telling the woman she wasn’t sick.” He grinned, holding in a laugh. “I decided the best way to help this lady was to lie to her.”
“Lie?” Carrie gasped. “Why would you do that?”
“I told her,” Cade continued without answering her question, knowing the story itself would be the answer, “that she had one year to live. She believed she had bad lungs because she coughed all the time.” He shrugged. “Her husband smoked a pipe all the time, and I’m sure her breathing problems came from that. Anyway, I told her that she had one year to live, so she needed to make the best of those twelve months. She needed to be loving and kind to everyone, reminding her what the Bible says about how we will be judged for our good deeds.”
A Groom for Carrie Page 4
