She smiled a little. “Thanks for not leaving me on the roadside.”
Chapter Four
Selena closed the front door and sagged back against it, her heart thumping hard and fast. She touched her swollen lips. It was a good thing she stayed away from Jace since she moved back in Sacred Harbor because, apparently, she was just one tow truck ride away from kissing him senseless.
Oh, Lord, he looked good after all these years. Selena hadn’t let herself think about him, really think about him, in so long. His face had changed a little, his jaw sharper, his scruff darker, but so much of him had felt familiar as he drove her home. And then, when he looked down at her in the hallway, so damn sexy with his hair wet from the rain…
She would have probably invited him in for more if Jace hadn’t had the sense to back away. Would it have been so bad if she did? Selena sighed and dropped her hand to her side. She’d answer that question when she wasn’t so hopped up on hormones. Right now, her brain was a mess of longing and desire. And memories.
She hadn’t forgotten anything. Not those Sunday brunches with his larger-than-life family. Not the stops at the beach when he’d drive her home. Not the ring he had shocked her with graduation night, his last attempt to keep her in Sacred Harbor. And she hadn’t forgotten any of the reasons why turning him down had been so hard. Why she’d had to leave town before she gave up everything that her parents had sacrificed eighteen years of their lives for.
Shifting the blanket that covered her, she gathered her wet hair and twisted it into a knot. Yes, she had kissed Jace, and yes, it was even better than she remembered. But that didn’t bring in a paycheck, nor did it sort out her future. So it was time to put him out of her mind.
Selena peeled off her wet shoes and rubbed at the red dye that had bled onto her toes. A very tempting method for warming up had just driven away, so she’d have to settle for a hot shower. Then she'd call Melanie, eat some cocktail sausages, work on a painting for a couple hours, and unwrap the packages she had picked up at—
Shit. She had left the packages in the back seat of her car, which was currently heading to Wilkinson’s Garage on the back of Jace’s tow truck. And her suitcase was in the trunk, too. More evidence that just being close to Jace turned off all practical thoughts. She hadn’t even thought to empty her car.
Darren and Alison had set aside three packages that had come to her former apartment: one from her parents, one from Darren’s sister, very thoughtful, considering the state of her and Darren’s relationship, and one she didn’t recognize. But Selena definitely wasn’t going to call Jace and ask for them. Hopefully her car would be done by Christmas so she’d have at least one present to open this year.
The wood under her feet was cold as she started up the steps to the main floor. The last of daylight filtered in through the large windows that faced the lake, but enormous clouds hovering over the water blocked out the sunset, dark and threatening. It was going to storm again soon, maybe even snow.
Selena padded over to the far corner of the room and plugged in the little white lights that she had strung over the windows. They were her main efforts to bring in a little Christmas to this oversized house. The room lit up, soft and warm. She found the remote on the coffee table and turned on the gas flames to a slow burn. Much better. The plush U-shaped couch with its oversized pillows was inviting, but her hands were still shaking from the cold.
Clutching Jace’s blanket tighter, she hobbled back to the bedroom. Her bedroom. She had considered giving up the house and the car, hating Darren’s lawyer’s insinuation that she had married for money. Truthfully, she could have made a lot of it on her own at a graphic design firm if she hadn't agreed to all of Darren's work moves. Still, her lawyer had convinced her that she needed somewhere to live while she got back on her feet, even if she turned down the monthly alimony. Though Darren never had any interest in a beach house just north of her hometown, he’d fought hard to keep both residences in the split. So she had followed her lawyer’s advice, and, luckily, the judge didn’t give him everything he wanted, or she’d be in a bad place right now.
Instead, she owned a beautiful house on the Lake Ontario beach and had a college degree to her name, a life straight out of her parents’ dreams when they’d come to this country. Minus the divorce, of course. She had no loans and low living costs, both important, considering it was hard to make a livable single income as an artist. But for now, it was her best option. If money got too tight, she could always go back to waiting tables.
The heated floor in the master bathroom was heavenly. Selena turned on the shower and let the steam fill the room. Stepping in, she moaned as the hot water splashed on her head, burning her icy fingers and toes. She tipped her head back and let the water run down her body, thawing all the other places the rain and cold had penetrated. Ohh, she never wanted to leave this cozy little shower stall.
She could stay here all day, or at least until the hot water ran out. No one was waiting for her to make dinner or pick up the dry cleaning. There was no rush to get to the next thing on Darren’s calendar. She could even spend the day dying back those red streaks that Darren had suggested cutting out when he’d been promoted. Apparently, they didn’t say wife of a CFO. How many other parts of herself had she quietly surrendered? What he’d really wanted was a personal assistant with benefits. And even the benefits part had waned.
At first, Selena had a hard time believing that Darren had gotten together with Alison, his real-life administrative assistant, after the divorce. Too cliché. Alison, with her subdued sweater sets and her neat blond ponytail. But that was fine with Selena, or it had been until two days ago. Until she’d walked into her old Boston apartment to pick up the packages waiting for her there and had a little conversation with said administrative assistant. Who had kids from a previous marriage. Kids. Darren had been adamantly against having a baby at this stage of their lives, but according to Alison, he was “such a devoted dad.” In fact, Darren had even decided to switch jobs because all his traveling would be hard on her kids.
It was that last detail that Selena couldn’t digest. It was still twisting in her gut, days later, bringing up the leftover bile from years’ worth of moves and sacrifices and arguments about this subject. He had voluntarily stopped traveling for Alison’s children, but he wouldn’t do it for her, even when she’d begged him?
Happy holidays, Selena. She had spent too much of her trip to Boston dwelling on those details with Melanie, her college roommate. Time to move on.
Selena turned off the shower and wrapped herself in an enormous, fluffy towel. The divorce had been a reset button, and she had spent a lot of time in recent months doing whatever she wanted, whenever the hell she wanted to do it. Freeing, really. More recently, a bit of loneliness had set in, along with the looming question, what comes next? But after that kiss tonight sent her back nine years, Selena’s thoughts were somewhere else. Maybe it wasn’t just Jace she had left in Sacred Harbor. What parts of herself had she given up, too?
She twisted her hair into another towel and headed for her closet to put together her grand enjoying-the-day-alone ensemble. It should be tacky, the anti-Darren of outfits. The kind the wife of a CFO wouldn’t wear. The kind that Alison wouldn’t touch.
Selena reached for the thick, reindeer-themed leggings that Melanie had given her for Christmas a few years ago and tugged them on, the soft cotton warming her legs. Next, she went for her t-shirt drawer. She had been collecting good ones for years, snarky, campy or just plain fun. Was a holiday-themed selection the right mood? Selena sifted through t-shirts, passing by one with a Santa hat and the words Naughty. Definitely naughty, and settling on an old favorite, soft and dark blue, with the lines, Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice, written in white script. Darren especially hated that one.
She pulled her Boston University sweatshirt over the shirt and rummaged through her sock drawer for the warmest pair. One fluffy Christma
s-themed sock stuck out. Where was the other one? No amount of searching turned it up, but who said socks had to match? Selena grabbed a grey wool sock and slipped the un-pair onto her feet.
Tacky outfit? Check.
Time for a pick-me-up call to Melanie while making a decidedly unmarried meal. Mac and cheese from a box with a cup of hot coffee. And cocktail sausages, of course. Perfect. Selena filled a pot with water, turned on the stove, and dialed her friend’s number. Mel answered on the first ring.
“Hey, girl. You home yet? I saw the weather in your area wasn’t looking good.”
“Just got home, and the rain is turned to sleet.”
“One more reason to come back to Boston. The weather is better.”
Selena rolled her eyes. “Marginally.”
Melanie was exactly what she needed right now. Selena had stayed in her spare bedroom as the divorce unfolded, so her friend knew all the details about Darren and her break-up. And back in college, Mel had learned more about her break-up with Jace than she probably ever wanted to know. Now that Selena was back in Sacred Harbor, Mel’s advice was the old cliché about getting over the last guy by getting under someone new. Or new-ish, meaning Jace. Which meant she would be thrilled to hear about the evening’s developments.
“So…my car broke down just south of Sacred Harbor.”
“Did you plan that?”
Selena sent her friend a long-distance glare. “Hell, no.”
Mel gave a snort of laughter. “Is this story going in the direction I think it is?”
“Depends on how dirty your mind is right now.”
“I’m giving you a long-distance high five.” Her friend paused. “But you two didn’t get together, did you? Either that, or he’s pretty quick, which means I should probably take back the high five.”
Selena chuckled as she poured the box of macaroni into the boiling water. “It didn’t happen. But we did kiss.”
“Good start. How was it?”
“Still hot. But attraction was never the problem with us.”
The problem was everything else. He had been a big distraction back in high school, crashing into each thought with his body and his sweet smile and the unmistakable desire so alive in his gaze. None of that had changed, even after all these years. And that kiss. How had she managed to block out the feeling of kissing him for all these years?
Selena poured the pasta into a colander, juggling her phone. “I’ll let you know if anything develops. And thanks again for the weekend.”
“Anytime,” said Mel. “Are you still moving into my spare bedroom after the holidays?”
She bit her lip. “Um, of course. Nothing’s changed.”
“You’re always welcome. But if you have crazy sex with your ex and can’t bear to leave that behind, I’d approve of that, too. You deserve some good sex this holiday season.”
Selena rolled her eyes. “Aww, thanks, Mel. Wishing you the same.”
She hung up and blew out a breath. Crazy holiday sex with Jace? She was definitely not going to distract herself with that idea right now. She finished making the mac and cheese and the cocktail sausages, poured herself a cup of coffee, and brought it into her office. Her studio was across the hall from her bedroom suite, in what would have been a guest room if Darren had had his way. It was east-facing with beautiful morning light, or as much light as December mornings in Upstate New York came with. Flat, wide art tables lined the perimeter with a half-dozen projects in various stages of production.
She sat down at her sketching desk and took a sip of her coffee. Talking to Mel was always a boost and a good reminder—she didn’t have to take this run-in with Jace so seriously. Seeing him again could be fun…and sexy as hell if they didn’t get stuck on the past.
But for now, instead of trying to block out these thoughts, maybe she should make a card out of them. Hmm, something like I know I broke your heart but I still wanted to sex you up today? Who knows? It might be a common enough sentiment to warrant a card.
Chapter Five
Jace stood outside his brother’s front door, his hands in his pockets. He was late, a sin worse than absence in his mother’s mind, but he still hadn’t brought himself to knock. The half-frozen rain had stopped not long after he’d left Selena’s car at the garage. After he found her overnight bag and a few packages in her back seat. After he had debated whether to drive back to her place and give them to her, knowing he’d want to kiss her again.
So he’d resisted, but his mind was still filled with her. Selena. Long brown hair and those dark eyes. Her hair still smelled so good, and he could remember the shape of her face with his eyes closed. Jace had moved on years ago, so why were all these details coming back? Most vivid were the scenes from their Friday nights by the beach. How many times had they sat in his car, talking or laughing or just quiet, but holding each other, always touching. More often than not, she’d fall sleep against his chest, but he’d stay awake, fighting his own drowsiness so they didn’t miss her curfew. Even one slip-up would’ve meant the end of their Friday nights together, and no amount of sleep was worth that.
Jace touched his mouth, where her soft lips had pressed against his less than an hour ago. Seeing Selena today had been just like falling down that rabbit hole again, into hot, erotic heaven. But there were differences that had niggled at him since he found her at the side of the road, and on the ride back to the garage, he was still trying to put his finger on what they were. Kissing was the same, maybe even better. And she looked just as lovely as she always did. It was something else. At eighteen, he could feel her happiness, the fresh excitement of becoming. Now, nine years later, that energy and excitement hadn’t shone so brightly, and he wasn’t quite sure what had taken its place.
His memories of Selena were so old and well-worn that they had dulled at the edges, but today, they sharpened back into focus, reminders of all the reasons he still wanted to hold her and all the reasons why he never should let his mind wander in that direction again.
Jace massaged his temples. He’d have hours alone in his bed to worry about that. Tonight was for Andrew and Mary Louise. Which meant he absolutely couldn’t mention Selena under any circumstances. No one wanted reminders of his lowest point nine years ago, including him.
He closed his eyes one more time, tasting the whisper of Selena’s lips on his once more, and then shut all those memories down. At least he had nine years of practice with that, too. He let out a sigh, straighten up and knocked on his brother’s door. It opened almost immediately, and his mother stood in the doorway, frowning at him.
“You’re late.”
“I’m sorry.”
She smelled of her favorite flowery perfume, the kind she put on for special occasions. Tonight was important for her, and he was late.
He leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek, ignoring the trickle of guilt that ran through him. “I had a tow call. And it’s not a good night to be stuck out on the road.”
“You could have let one of those big companies take care of it.” His mother knew very well that the “big companies” didn’t come this far north very often, and even if they did, they charged an outrageous fee. It had only been a year since Jace’s father stroke, not nearly long enough for her to forget any of this. Jace didn’t have to explain to her that staying in business meant serving a niche. And if they didn’t offer more personal service, they’d never compete with the bigger companies.
But that guilt still seeping in. None of those were the real reason he had taken so long. The real reason was Selena, she who must not be named. So he let his mother’s comment go, the way he had let so many comments go since his father’s stroke. This last year hadn’t been easy for her, and he knew family meals were the highlights of her week.
His mother was still hovering in the doorway, so he kissed her cheek again and slipped by her. “Are Andrew and Mary Louise somewhere in here, too?”
“Andrew and your father are in th
e kitchen. Mary Louise, your sister and I are in the basement, working on some wedding details.”
Easy choice. “I’ll go in find Dad and Andrew.”
Jace started through the hallway toward the kitchen. The house was only a few years old, his brother’s newest masterpiece in a portfolio of beautiful homes along the Lake Ontario coast. He had designed it with his own love of cooking in mind, so in addition to the top-of-the-line appliances, the entire back wall of the kitchen was lined with windows that faced the lake. This was what going to college did for his brother. Jace had tried hard not to think too much about what it would have done for him.
He found his brother in a dress shirt with his sleeves rolled up, standing on one side of the bar counter over a roasted turkey. Jace smiled as he read Andrew’s apron: One of us is right. The other is you. Probably a gift from Mary Louise, proof that she knew what she was getting into by marrying him.
His father was on the other side of the counter, sitting in an armchair his brother must have brought in for him. Jace’s father had a hard time getting around on his own, even after a year of rehab on his left side, much to his ongoing frustration. He still worked half days in the garage. Though office work had always been the bane of his existence when he was in charge, Jace was pretty sure it was often the best part of his day now. Nothing like a twist of fate to give you a new perspective.
Jace walked over to his father and gave him a squeeze on the shoulder, then grabbed a beer from Andrew’s fridge.
“Lookin’ good,” he said, giving the perfectly browned turkey another glance.
“I experimented with baking soda under the skin,” said Andrew. “Figured this was a good crowd to try my new ideas on. Minus Mom, of course.”
Their dad gave a snort of laughter. It was no secret where Andrew’s my-way’s-the-right-way attitude came from.
“Just say you got the idea from some British Royal cookbook,” said Jace, taking a swig of his beer.
A Winter Wonderland Page 3
