by Amie Denman
He saw his own eyes.
It couldn’t be.
She would have told him.
He strode to the dining room as if his legs were made of wood and brushed past his guests until he found Maria standing behind the cake table with her phone in her hand.
“When was my meeting with the French auto engineers?” he demanded, his voice low but throbbing with the need to know.
Maria turned and stared up at him. “You don’t have any meeting scheduled for at least the next two weeks. You’re on vacation.” She said the last word slowly as if he was a moron and couldn’t understand he shouldn’t be working.
“I mean the one a while ago,” he clarified. “Two or three years. Jacques somebody who wanted to buy our patent.”
Maria gave him a questioning stare and then looked down at her phone and began scrolling back through screens. “I can’t believe we’re talking about this at a wedding,” she muttered. “French guys. Jacques something. They’re all named that. Or Pierre. Seems like a lot of those.” She scrolled and paused and then repeated the action, and Luke felt his pulse in his ears.
“Drink for my best man?” Grady asked as he passed by with two glasses of champagne.
“Not now,” Luke snapped and then caught himself. “I mean,” he ran a hand over his face. “Sorry, man, I—”
“You’re all red in the face,” Grady said jovially. “Don’t tell me you’ve been crying at my wedding.” He handed over one of his glasses of champagne and then continued on to his new wife.
“With all due respect,” Maria said. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“When was that meeting?” he insisted.
“French guy Jacques from that little company that wanted in on your braking patent, right? I have it right here.” She looked up and gave him the date. He started doing math in his head. “For pity’s sake, you better drink that,” she said, pointing to the glass in his hand, “or I’ll throw you off your own yacht for being a party pooper.”
She walked away and Luke turned toward the window, the champagne glass trembling in his tight fingers. He didn’t care if anyone noticed him on the edge of the room, disconnected from a party on his own yacht. He counted back. Did the math. Did it again.
His shoulders fell and he let out a long slow breath, but he didn’t know if it was relief or something else because his feelings had gone through a complete meatgrinder in the last five minutes. The date of the meeting—Jacques from the French auto company he decided not to waste his time on and had nearly forgotten about—was thirty months ago. The boy, Carter, was eighteen months old…so unless Autumn had been pregnant for a year, or…she was lying about the child’s age…
It could hardly be possible that Autumn and her entire family would lie about the boy’s age, would keep the baby a secret, would keep this knowledge from him if he was…
Luke took a back stairway and ran two steps at a time to his private room and office, passing windows with spectacular views, beautiful works of art tastefully decorating the walls of the corridor that led to his personal space. He had to know, had to confirm.
It would only take a moment and he’d be back to the party before anyone noticed. The Detroit newspaper was all online and he had his subscription bookmarked on his laptop. He didn’t read it every day and usually didn’t get past the business pages, but a simple search of the archives right now would tell him—assure him—of one thing. Birth notices were still printed every day, he assumed, even though he had never looked at them or taken an interest in the column. He’d only vaguely noticed the death notices, usually to see if anyone in his company or his competitor’s had died.
He put in key terms, refined the search terms, and found what he was seeking in less than ten seconds.
He sat back in his chair, the screen blurring temporarily until he rubbed his eyes. Autumn Benedict, boy, and the date just eighteen months ago. No father listed.
He swallowed and drank the champagne he didn’t even remember carrying up to his room. It did nothing to cool the fire in his brain and the shame he felt for suspecting Autumn of lying to him. She deserved better. All the Benedict family deserved better, deserved his trust more than almost anyone on earth. He pulled a cold bottle of sparkling water from his fridge and downed it as he leaned against the wall. He rolled his shoulders and breathed deeply in through his nose and out through his mouth.
The wild fleeting thought—belief—that Autumn’s child had his eyes and could he his was a wild fantasy probably brought on by too much emotion, too much everything. Luke stared in the mirror on his wall until he composed his features into his boardroom expression, the one that gave nothing away.
He counted to ten, and then took his private stairs back to the party where he would be the best man Grady deserved.
Chapter Six
It was unlike any wedding Autumn had attended. Instead of a banquet hall filled with hundreds of people peripherally related to the bride and groom, the guests numbered less than twenty. Crew members on the yacht were invited to eat and have cake, and it felt to Autumn like a large, wonderful family party.
A photographer hired by Luke took hundreds of pictures, many of them with the wedding party on the deck of the yacht. The photos were posed and lovely, showing off the bride’s sparkling gown and the groom, handsome in his dark suit. But the really fresh and fun pictures were of the “getaway.” Near the end of the dinner and dancing, the bride and groom boarded the ship’s tender for a boat ride. The photographer took pictures of them waving from the boat as the captain drove them in a big circle around the yacht and then took off down the shoreline. No tin cans trailing behind them or Just Married sign in the back window, but this would be far more memorable.
Autumn was certain she would never forget anything about this destination wedding, no matter how long the evenings and winters dragged on in her Michigan apartment. The dazzling blue waters and sunshine of Greece were unlike anything she’d ever seen or would see again.
As the tender with the bride and groom sped away, Autumn again had tears on her cheeks. She held up Carter’s hand so he could wave to his uncle and new aunt.
“Can you say bye-bye?” she asked, her cheek touching his. Grady and Kelly would be back in an hour or so, but it marked a fun and nice end to the wedding reception and the entire day as the sun began to lower and color changed from intense blue to rosy hues in the sky. Autumn’s parents, cousins, and the bride’s family had eaten five-star food, sliced into a gorgeous cake, and danced to a quintet that played with world-class skill.
The only person who didn’t seem to be having fun was Luke Monroe. He smiled for the pictures, made polite conversation, and demonstrated concern for the groom’s father by finding him a chair to prop his leg on. He personally refilled champagne glasses and delivered generous slices of cake on gleaming white plates. Luke danced with the bride and the mother of both the bride and groom, but no one else, and Autumn carefully maneuvered herself out of the way whenever the orchestra struck up a new piece. Last night’s shopping trip had been enough temptation, and the emotional vibes of the wedding left her feeling weak in the knees and vulnerable.
Vulnerability has a way of bringing things to the surface that would be better off left lurking at the bottom, she thought. Like her lifelong crush on Luke that could never be anything more. Still, though, he was a friend. A good friend. His loyalty to her family was apparent in every word he said and gesture he offered. She couldn’t let him feel as if he stood just outside the family circle of joy and happiness. He deserved a place closer to the center.
“Everything was wonderful,” Autumn said as she approached Luke who stood at the rail and watched the bride and groom depart on their boat ride. “On behalf of my family, thank you for making this absolutely magical.”
Luke turned to her with a smile, and she was relieved to see him looking more like his usual self. “I’ve heard plenty of thanks today, even though I keep assuring your family that the pleasure is
all mine. There’s no friend like your brother, like your entire family for that matter.”
Autumn put Carter down on the deck between them but kept a tight hold on one of his hands. The boy put both his fingers on the glass and Autumn made a mental note to find a napkin and wipe the fingerprints off later. If Carter was older, she could impress manners upon him, but he was just a baby, feeling his way through the world with sticky fingers.
“I’d like to be a good friend to you, too,” Luke said.
What did he mean? Of course he was a friend…even though they hadn’t exchanged a word, text, or call since that night. They had both needed distance from it. Autumn had decided many long months ago when Luke didn’t call that one night had not changed a thing between them.
Except for the obvious. The innocent toddler between them whom she would love and protect with all her heart.
“You mean if I ever get married we can do all this over again?” Autumn said playfully. As soon as she said the words, she wished she could grab them out of the air between them. Luke’s smile evaporated.
“I’m kidding,” she said quickly, forcing a smile. “I’d want a bigger yacht. And I wouldn’t put you through all this trouble again.”
“I wouldn’t mind,” he said. “If you were happy. Maybe if you and Carter’s father ever—”
Autumn put up a hand. “No chance of that,” she said.
Luke regarded her seriously. “Someone else then, someday.”
Autumn leaned on the railing and watched the white tender disappear around a bend in the coastline. Grady and Kelly were having a fun and peaceful tour along the Greek shore now that the official wedding was over and they belonged to each other for the rest of their lives.
“My life belongs to Carter right now,” Autumn said. “Although I do hope to have a chance to wear these silver shoes again. Even though I’m sure you were lying about the price.”
She and Luke exchanged a glance and they both laughed. She heard a click behind them, and she and Luke both turned at the same time to see the wedding photographer who had captured them in an unguarded moment.
“Beautiful,” the photographer said. “All three of you silhouetted against the rail with the sun just starting to set.”
Autumn was speechless, and she felt the champagne she had consumed swirl in her stomach. Whatever happened with that picture, Luke would never know it was the one and probably only family picture of the three of them together. She hated to admit how desperately she wanted a copy of that image when the digital files made their way to her brother and new sister-in-law. Would there be a subtle way of asking for the picture?
Again, she questioned whether or not she should tell Luke that Carter was his, but her mind had been made up for so long that it was difficult to change it. It had been a lot easier to resolve to leave Luke out of Carter’s life when she wasn’t standing next to him. She’d felt bold and certain, going through her days, sacrificing, taking the hard way instead of calling Luke and accepting what he would certainly offer—financial help and security.
Was she doing the right thing, protecting Luke so he wouldn’t feel terrible guilt about sleeping with her not long after his wife’s death? She knew he felt guilty because he didn’t miss his wife and hadn’t truly loved her, and Autumn suspected there were very few other people, if any, who knew that sad truth. Adding a fling and a baby before Vanessa’s will was even settled would hurt Luke. Especially since she knew there was more to his wife’s death than he admitted to anyone. A greater loss that she and Carter couldn’t make up for.
But was she hurting Luke by not including him in his son’s life and repeating the cycle of a boy growing up without a father? It already seemed too late to bring it up. If she had told Luke right away…but now how would he feel about being kept in the dark?
“It’s been quite a day,” Luke said. “When the newlyweds return, we’re going to pull anchor and start on the honeymoon journey.”
“Where are we going again?” Autumn said.
“Touring among the Greek Islands. My captain knows the area well, and tomorrow we have an invitation to a private island owned by a friend of mine. We can use the beach and his vacation house which is empty right now.”
Autumn shook her head, amazed and overwhelmed that she knew someone who had a friend with a private island. “Some of my friends own their own houses and one of them even has an inflatable pool in the backyard. It’s killer fun.”
Luke laughed. “But do they have a pool table? It’s only day two, but I don’t want to run out of time before you take my challenge of a game of billiards. I think of you…and your brother every time I play someone on that table.”
Autumn relaxed. This was the Luke she could be next to and still keep her sanity. Back to their childhood days when they had fun and before their worlds had become so complicated. There were times she thought she could have it all—Luke and their son living happily together. But then she remembered that when he had chosen to get married, he hadn’t chosen her. She’d been a fling to him, and she was—at most—a convenient friend and harmless flirtation now. She was a distraction to him and always had been.
Telling him about his son wouldn’t change the fact that Luke loved her only as his best friend’s sister. Flirtation and one uninhibited night did not mean there was any chance of a future.
****
Luke didn’t intend to eavesdrop, but his private entrance to the breakfast area meant he heard voices before anyone saw him.
“We’ll keep Carter so you can go and have fun,” he heard Nancy Benedict saying. Luke paused and stayed just around the bend of the staircase. “Your father’s knee could use a rest after yesterday, and it will be good for you to go have fun with the young people for once. You never take time for yourself.”
“Carter is a young person,” he heard Autumn object. “And he’s fun.”
“You know what I mean, and I’m not taking no for an answer. I could use some grandma time. When am I ever going to get to entertain my grandson on a yacht where I don’t have to cook or clean up anything?”
Luke waited a moment more, although he didn’t hear any more conversation. Was Autumn’s mother right? Did Autumn deny herself and stay home all the time with her son? He had never pictured her as a partier, but then he realized there were things about her he obviously didn’t know. The baby hadn’t come out of thin air. She’d spent one mindless night with him, perhaps there were others?
The thought made his lungs constrict and his fingers grow cold. Autumn was his best friend’s sister, he shouldn’t be thinking about her sex life. Especially the one time it had included him. If she wanted to go have fun on the island, he’d be more than happy to show her a good time for old times’ sake.
Luke swung into the room with what he hoped was a jovial and carefree smile for his guests. Autumn was at the breakfast table with her parents and her son, and her cousins Jessica and Julie were just entering from the hallway that came from the guest bedrooms.
“I hope everyone is finding plenty to eat, although no one will starve today,” he told the group. “I’m having my crew set up a barbeque on the beach, and there will also be food for anyone who decides to stay on board. Suit yourselves.”
Autumn’s mother smiled at him. “Bill and I went on a cruise to the Bahamas for our twenty-fifth anniversary a few years ago, and I have to tell you it wasn’t half as nice as this cruise.”
“But they had a casino, right?” Luke asked.
Bill laughed. “We both lost our fifteen bucks and gave up fast.”
“So I shouldn’t add blackjack tables and slot machines on the Paige Ellen?” Luke asked, grinning at the older couple he loved as if they were an additional set of parents. “I was tempted.”
Nancy waved her hand at him. “No you weren’t.”
“Only a little,” he admitted. “Can I help anyone juggle plates at the buffet?” He was looking at Autumn who had a plate filled and sitting in front of her son but her plac
e was empty. Autumn smiled up at him, but a small movement drew his attention to the person standing right behind her. Julie was the taller of the two cousins who seemed alike in almost every other way except for one. Julie kept giving him an assessing glance as if there were a puzzle she was trying to figure out. She had to be ten years younger than he was, and she didn’t seem as if she was flirting with him.
“We’re fine,” Autumn said. “Just about finished actually.”
“Then I better catch up,” Luke said. He turned toward the buffet and filled his plate with pancakes and fruit. When he was alone on the yacht, the crew prepared a filling breakfast in the downstairs galley for themselves, but he usually just requested a tray of fruit and croissants with a pitcher of coffee. He seldom used the yacht by himself, and mostly took business associates out when it was moored in U.S. waters.
One time he had taken his mother for a sixtieth birthday cruise and his Aunt Ellen had come along. It had been just the three of them filling the luxurious guest cabins on the yacht, but he remembered that four-day trip as one of the happiest times of his life. Plenty of laughter had made up for a ship’s tiny manifest of passengers. He smiled thinking about his mother and aunt trying snorkeling for the first time, and he was still smiling when he got back to the table with his plate.
Autumn glanced up and noticed his expression, but she didn’t ask any questions. She just cocked her head and then smiled back. He had always felt there was an understanding between them, but if ever there was a chance for something more it seemed to have passed.
“Can you really own an island?” Jessica asked. “Is that legal?”
Luke shrugged. “I think my friend did the paperwork legally, but I didn’t ask for proof. When you see this place, you won’t care if he stole it or not.”
“It’s that nice?” Julie asked as she sat next to Autumn right across from him.
“The tender will take us to the private dock in about an hour and you can see for yourself,” he said. “Bring bathing suits, sunscreen, and some sturdy shoes if you want to try the stone bridge.”
