by Hannah Doyle
‘Steady there,’ I laugh. ‘My ego might not take any more. Okay, are you ready for a pop quiz?’
Alice claps. ‘Love a quiz. Can I eat at the same time?’
‘Of course. I’m going to throw some Notting Hill quotes at you and you can tell me who said them.’
Alice looks thrilled.
‘Who said … “whoopsidaisies”?’
‘Easy. William Thacker, played by Hugh Grant, as he struggled to get into the private park. Do I get extra points for detail?’
‘Sure,’ I say, pretending to mark down her score on an imaginary piece of paper. ‘Who said … “demi capu”.’
‘I love that guy! Martin from the bookshop, I think his name is James Dreyfus in real life?’
‘I’m impressed. “Surreal but nice”?’
‘William again.’
‘Very good,’ I nod.
I look over at her, leaning in intently. That competitive streak again. And I think, it’s now or never.
‘“I’m just a boy, standing in front of a girl, asking her to love him.”’
Alice pauses for a moment, looking puzzled. Then she shakes her head and says, ‘You got that the wrong way round. It’s Anna Scott, played by Julia Roberts, who says that. Remember? In the bookshop. She asks William to love her and he turns her down and it’s just the most painful bit of the whole film. So the quote is: “I’m just a girl,” etcetera.’
Deep breath.
‘What if I didn’t get it wrong? What if it’s me talking, now?’ I ask. ‘What if I’m saying to you, Alice, that I’m here in front of you asking you if you want to spend more time with me. I like you Alice. I completely respect that you don’t want to get in too deep, too soon but I’m trying to ask, very ineloquently, if you’d be up for seeing each other exclusively? Christ, where is Richard Curtis when you need him?’
Alice smiles at this.
Please say yes!
Never have I wanted to hear a person speak more.
This silence is spreading out like the Ice Age.
‘Zach, I …’ she pauses and I realise I’m holding my breath. ‘I don’t want to get hurt.’
‘I would never hurt you.’
‘You don’t know that,’ she frowns.
‘Alice, all my life I’ve doubted myself and I’m pretty bad at overthinking things, usually to the point where I decide I’ve said or done something stupid or embarrassing. When I’m with you all of that seems … quieter? Like my head’s turned the volume down on all of the worry that can get the better of me. I think what I’m saying is that with you everything seems so much easier. You help to bring me out of my shell …’ I pause, scratching my head and inevitably overthinking what I’ve just said. ‘You’re right, I can’t promise that I won’t hurt you but I can promise that I’ll put my all into you and me. I think there could be something real here, if you wanted to give us a go?’
Alice breaks eye contact and stares off at the screen.
‘The film’s about to start,’ she says absent-mindedly.
I take that as a no, feeling like a balloon that’s just popped and is instantly deflated.
Turning my head towards the setting sun, a crashing sense of disappointment floods through me. That’s when Alice scooches over, sitting down between my legs so that we’re both still facing the screen. I wrap my arms around her and she turns to whisper in my ear.
‘Go on, then.’
‘Huh? Are you saying you’re in?’ I lean back to look at her, not wanting to miss this moment.
‘I’m in. Just … go easy on me, okay? Let’s take things slowly.’
‘It’s a deal,’ I reply, not even bothering to hide the huge grin spreading across my face.
Two hours later as the film credits roll, she leans into my body and I breathe in the apple scent of her hair, realising that I’ve been smiling non-stop for the entire movie.
‘Zach?’
‘Mmm?’
‘I love that you were Julia Roberts in that scenario,’ she snorts.
‘And you made a very beautiful William Thacker. I can’t say I’ve ever wanted to kiss Hugh Grant before.’
‘Hugh would readily accept that kiss,’ she says, curling her body around until she’s facing me. My mouth finds hers and we kiss under the oak tree. I’d happily stay here all night but Alice’s phone beeps and she pulls it out of her pocket.
‘Sorry, I should check this,’ she says. ‘I’ve got a couple of important orders tomorrow and need to make sure everything is ok. And look at the time! We should probably head back?’
I’m about to persuade her that we could stay for one more drink but she’s already started rolling up the picnic blanket. So we walk hand in hand back to the car, pile our stuff into Gerty’s boot and set off.
Alice is quiet on the drive back and I don’t want to distract her when she’s sorting out a few work things so I concentrate on the drive, replaying the best bits of tonight in my mind and feeling seriously chuffed that she’s agreed to make our relationship official. I know it’s a huge deal for her and I still can’t quite believe that she’s chosen me. I’d love the date to have lasted longer but with Alice, I’m learning to grateful for what’s happening right now rather than rushing headfirst into the next thing.
Suddenly I’m aware of Alice’s hand moving over to rest on my knee.
I allow myself a quick glance at her and she’s leaning her head back against the head rest, a smile on her lips. The music’s off, there’s nothing but the sound of our breathing filling the space and the atmosphere in the car has intensified. The hairs on my arm stand to attention. I know she can sense it too, because we’ve spent all day in easy conversation and yet now, neither of us is speaking. We don’t need to. The anticipation is enough.
I listen to the air whipping in through the open window. She’s started oh so gently circling her thumb around my thigh.
Finally we pull up at Alice’s house and I’m not sure what to expect, her request to take things slowly still echoing through my head. I follow her to her front door and she turns, grabbing both my hands.
‘I’ve had the best day,’ she says.
I kiss her then under the cover of twilight.
She pulls her keys out of her bag, opening the door before turning back to me.
‘Do you want to come in?’ she asks, eyes bright.
‘Are you sure?’ I ask, not wanting her to feel like she’s under any pressure.
‘I would very much like you to stay the night, Zach,’ she says, hooking her fingers through the belt loops of my jeans. She pulls me in through the front door and every single one of my senses is now fully tuned to Alice. I reach out to circle my fingers around her wrists, running my hands up her arms and feeling the goosebumps on her skin as I pull her close. She backs up against the hallway wall and our bodies are pressed together, her head tipping up to meet mine. We kiss again and it’s like a lightning bolt through my body. My heart’s on fire as I reach up to stroke the soft skin at the nape of her neck. She’s inching her fingers up and under my T-shirt. Suddenly she stops kissing me, looks straight into my eyes, and leads me up to her bedroom.
Garden
Alice
BREAKING NEWS. Are you both free for a group chat?
Natalie replies immediately. Dyl’s scrolling through his contacts to find “hot single celebrities” for me to date . Famous people bring me out in a sweat so YES I’m free and can we do it now please?
I press call on our group WhatsApp and watch my friends’ faces appear on screen. Natalie looks flustered.
‘You okay?’ I ask.
‘She’s fine,’ butts in Dylan. ‘The whole point of this weekend is to get her back out there.’
‘I thought it was a chance for two old friends to catch up?’ Nat says, biting her thumbnail.
‘London is full of rich pickings. We might as well launch you back onto the dating scene again while you’re here.’
‘I’m not a boat!’ She grumbles.
/> ‘Yes and not everyone is permanently randy, Dylan,’ I say, standing up for Natalie.
‘Says the girl who can’t stop chatting about the new dude she’s dating,’ he grins.
‘I wouldn’t say I can’t stop, thanks very much,’ I pout, though in fairness I did expressly call them to talk about Zach. ‘So, what have you guys been up to?’
‘We went for a walk along the canals this morning, stopped for a brunch of hellishly overpriced waffles with bacon and tonight Dyl’s insisting on going to some celebrity haunt,’ Nat groans.
‘We’re going out out,’ Dylan winks, which means a champagne-fuelled all-nighter is on the cards for my best friends and I feel a massive pang of FOMO.
‘Stay safe kids! And don’t miss me or anything.’
‘Obviously we will miss you. Anyway, what’s the breaking news?’ Natalie asks.
‘Oh gawd. Are you sitting down?’ I watch Natalie and Dylan obediently drop down onto his sofa. ‘Right, good. So, I’m officially seeing Zach now.’
Dylan and Natalie exchange looks.
I drum my fingers on the kitchen table, waiting not very patiently for them to say something. Anything.
‘Oh shit,’ Dylan finally says.
‘Oh shit?’ I frown. ‘That’s all you have to say?’
‘Wow, Alice!’ Natalie exclaims.
‘I know! So …?’
‘So …’ Natalie nudges Dylan.
‘You’re obviously going to pretend that you don’t, but you clearly like him a lot,’ Dylan muses.
I squirm.
‘Given that No Big Deal is the …’
‘You’ve got to stop calling him that, Dylan!’ I interrupt. ‘I only said it back when we were coming to your Sheffield gig because I know how you can overreact.’
‘Fine, Zach,’ he says pointedly. ‘Anyway, I’m pretty sure that Zach is the first guy you’ve properly dated in …’
‘Forever?’ Natalie suggests.
‘Mmm hmm,’ I nod.
‘Huge,’ Natalie exclaims, holding her hands out wide to emphasise the point.
‘Is that the size of his penis?’ Dylan quips and the two of them have a good old guffaw while I watch on, exasperated. Honestly, why they insist on acting like 13-year-olds when they’re both 30 is beyond me.
Natalie’s the first to straighten her face out. ‘Sorry Alice. What I obviously meant was, this is huge news. I’m really happy for you.’
‘The Bolter’s got a boyfriend.’ Dylan looks incredulous.
‘Woah there. Calm down,’ I say, breaking out into a sweat. ‘I do not have a boyfriend. We just had the chat about seeing each exclusively, that’s all. HANG ON. What did you call me?’
‘You knew The Bolter is your nickname, right?’ Dylan says.
‘No I did not know that,’ I smart. ‘That’s a bit …’
‘Accurate?’ Dylan offers.
‘It is kind of true,’ Natalie adds gently. ‘Even a whiff of commitment and you usually bolt. Half-way through a wedding was your personal best, I think. Remember?’
I roll my eyes. Of course I remember. I’d only been on two dates with Matt when he asked if I’d be his plus one to his mate’s wedding but I happily accepted because I love weddings! They’re not right for me, obviously, but the chance to spend all day in a cute outfit, chatting to new people and toasting the happy couple is always a winner. Only, I didn’t quite get to the toasts at this particular wedding.
‘Didn’t you bolt midway through the ceremony?’ Dylan says.
‘Not midway through, no! Just … immediately after,’ I cough. ‘In fairness, I’d thought Matt and I were very casual. I did not expect him to well up when the bride walked down the aisle, nor to clutch my hand as they said their “I do’s”. And I certainly didn’t expect him to tell me that “we’d be next”. It was literally our third date!’
‘So you dumped him during the confetti throwing and left him to face a whole day celebrating someone else’s wedding while he’d just been given the heave ho.’ Dylan is shaking his head laughing at me. He loves this story. ‘Wasn’t that the start of your three date limit?’
‘Yes it was,’ I nod. I’d put a cap on the number of dates with one man after that, just so I didn’t get startled again. ‘I know I was brutal but I did speak to Matt after to explain myself.’
‘And yet here you are, not only having broken your three-date limit but now you’re exclusively seeing Zach. That’s a big step for you, babes.’ Nat’s beaming.
I nod, pushing my hair out of my eyes and trying not to feel so clammy. Zach’s shall-we-be-exclusive speech had been so sweet and I’m happy about where we are, if a teeny tiny bit scared. Surely I could have picked someone less intense for my first foray into proper dating. Like, I dunno, someone who isn’t an incorrigible romantic? I suppose that’s the point though. No-one has made me want to until now.
‘Does he know that you’re a butterfly who cannot be caged, Pickle?’ Dyl asks.
‘Um, I have told him that I’m not convinced about The One, or, um, love.’
‘Ooh, lucky Zach. And he hasn’t run for the hills yet?’
‘Still keen, apparently.’
‘Well, I think this is wonderful,’ says Nat. ‘You’re being really brave Al, dipping a toe in something you vowed you never would. I’ve not had much of a chance to chat to Zach yet but he seems like a good guy. And he’s hella hot.’
‘Let’s not forget his apparently “huge”—’
‘Thank you, Dylan.’ I butt in. He and Nat are roaring again.
‘Okay, great chatting to you …’
‘No, wait, don’t hang up! You know we love you very much and we’re only teasing. And who knows, this may just be the start of something brilliant,’ Nat says.
Dylan does a thumbs up.
‘Thanks guys. I do actually have to go though. Have fun.’ I blow kisses at my two best mates and try to stamp down the thought that just popped into my head. That the very reason Natalie’s in London is to get over her heartache. That the very reason Dylan is the perfect help with that is because he never bothers to linger too long for heartache to be a problem.
I roll my shoulders back and tell myself not to freak out, because I’ve got a date to get ready for and I cannot choose an outfit mid-panic. Let’s just hope Zach likes the surprise I have in store for today’s date.
Tomatoes bloom plump and red, green beans twist up bamboo sticks and bumblebees on a pollen hunt buzz through the air. I take a restorative breath, revelling in the scent of freshly dug earth mixed with bonfires. My little allotment is my inner sanctum. Dad has been the only VIP on the guestlist so far, but now Zach’s on his way. Most people seem surprised when they hear that a woman in her late twenties keeps an allotment and I wonder what Zach will make of the fact that I’m just as happy digging up soil with octogenarians as I am twirling round the dancefloor. I’ll probably lose major street cred points after this. Maybe he might even change his mind about me altogether – he seems to like the carefree and outgoing Alice, not the old soul version of me who is more sensitive than she likes to let on.
I weigh up how that makes me feel and part of me decides it would be a relief. It would be out of my hands then, before whatever we have together has the chance to venture into more dangerous territory. But if I was being honest with myself, I’d also be a bit gutted that I wouldn’t get to find out where this could go, especially when the early signs are looking good.
A gust of wind catches the silk scarf in my hair. After this morning’s chat with Dylan and Nat I’d stuck some music on and rifled through my wardrobe, jazzing up my usual gardening uniform of dungarees and a T-shirt by winding a bright orange scarf through my hair and slicking on some peachy lipstick to match my tee.
‘Don’t you look lovely!’ ViVi, my allotment neighbour, pops over the hedgerow dividing our plots.
‘Thanks!’
‘Expecting someone special?’
‘Maybe,’ I say, pulling a face.
/> ViVi peers over her varifocals at me in delight. ‘In that case, you’ll be needing some of these.’ She hands me a wicker basket filled with juicy strawberries.
‘Oh ViVi, that’s so kind of you. Are you sure?’
‘There’s not enough space in my kitchen cupboards for any more jam,’ she chuckles.
‘You’ve got a little …’ Zach reaches out to brush my cheek and my skin tingles at his touch. ‘Soil,’ he grins.
‘I always end up in a mess here.’
‘When you suggested a Sunday spent gardening for our G date I was a little surprised. I figured after your previous form we might be gambling at a casino, or go-karting, or maybe going on a ghost tour. This is definitely unexpected.’ Zach’s eyes dart round my allotment. He’s back in his uniform of dark T-shirt and turned-up jeans today.
‘After you pointed out that all my previous choices were group activities, I thought we could do something a bit more low key, just the two of us. Though we can stick some eighties tunes on in the background if you’d like?’
‘Honestly, I think I prefer listening to the birds tweeting and the bees buzzing.’
‘Birds and bees it is,’ I say with a wink. Zach’s jawline tightens and he pulls me in for a kiss.
‘I could get used to having you in my allotment,’ I grin. ‘Want to help me sow some seeds? I’ve had the best idea for a Halloween display at the shop and thought I’d try and grow some of my own pumpkins for it.’
‘You know it’s only June, right?’
‘Yes I know it’s only June! Things take a while to grow, Zach,’ I roll my eyes playfully at him. ‘Now how about you stop being sarcastic and get to work.’
‘Oh I see, you just invited me along to be the muscles of the operation,’ Zach’s eyes are glinting.
‘All I’m saying is, there will be absolutely no judgement if you want to take your top off while you’re digging.’
Zach turns to me square on and folds his arms. ‘And what will you be doing while I get my hands dirty?’
I gesture towards my potting shed, which I’ve turned into a cosy little den stringed with fairy lights. It has a mini bar and everything. ‘Don’t you worry about me. I’ll be in charge of the drinks, the snacks and making sure my new gardener doesn’t give me too much backchat.’
