by Hannah Doyle
‘But there’s no clue,’ she frowns.
‘That’s because you haven’t got it right.’
Alice pouts. ‘A breath of fresh air. It’s definitely fresh.’ She looks down at me for confirmation and I can’t help but give a tiny nod. ‘So what else is fresh?’ Alice runs downstairs and tries the cupboard where she keeps her fabric softener. ‘Nothing there.’ She pokes her head out of the back door on the hunt for fresh air, to no avail.
‘Argh,’ she huffs. ‘Hang on, what about Saskia?’ Struck with another idea, she’s back up the stairs and I follow her into her bedroom.
‘You remembered!’ She says, full of glee as she spots a card tucked into the snake plant by her bed.
‘How could I forget about Saskia?’ I laugh, remembering the time Alice had given me a very thorough lecture on the benefits of having air purifying plants to freshen your home. The fact that she’d named her snake plant Saskia had made me feel incredibly fond of her.
Alice darts around the house, congratulating herself every time she gets one right and harrumphing when she finds a tricky clue. She guesses clue number three immediately, ‘Zach’s most embarrassing secret’, and heads straight to her bookshelf where she finds a stack of Point Romance books waiting for her. ‘Clue four: You dress like a XXXXXXX’ sees her rummaging through her wardrobe before finally heading out into the courtyard to find a rainbow balloon attached to clue five. ‘We can’t travel anywhere without XXXXXX.’ She loops the balloon string around her waist like a belt and heads back into the kitchen, on the hunt for snacks.
There, in amongst the Hula Hoops, is clue six.
‘Your most precious item.’
Alice frowns. ‘Mum’s ring, without a doubt,’ she says, looking down at the gold band on her middle finger. ‘But I’m already wearing it.’ I raise an eyebrow mysteriously. She looks ever-so-slightly nervous now as she heads back upstairs, cracking jokes about keeping fit on the way up. Alice keeps her mum’s wedding ring in its original box, taking it off every night before bed and storing it carefully next to her while she sleeps.
I lean against the doorframe as she spots the clue I’ve left there.
She spins back to me.
‘Zach … I …’
‘Just open it,’ I smile.
‘Argh, Zach, please don’t …’
‘Trust me?’
She opens the ring box.
‘It’s empty,’ she says, looking like she’s just dodged a bullet.
‘I know that,’ I say as Alice gingerly picks up the envelope underneath. She’s more careful this time.
‘It’s another clue,’ she says, turning surprised eyes towards me.
‘Isn’t that the point of a treasure hunt?’
‘Well, yes,’ she says, flopping down on to end of her bed. ‘I had rather wondered if you were about to …’
‘About to …’
‘Propose?’
‘To the woman who’s not sure if she wants to get married?’ I say, sitting down next to her and watching her intently. I can’t help but feel a pang of disappointment that she looks so relieved, but I have to remind myself that we’re not ready for that kind of commitment yet.
She looks at me, her eyes saying ’phew’, and I’m hit by a fresh bout of nerves. I know it’s too soon for marriage proposals but seeing her reaction has me wondering if my plan for today’s treasure hunt is going to be pushing us too far, as well?
‘I was slightly panicking for a minute there,’ she smiles.
I wrap my arm around her and kiss the soft, apple-smelling hair on the top of her head. ‘It was a bit of a red herring if I’m honest. I just wanted to throw you off the scent.’
‘Oh my god!’ she says, play-punching me on the arm.
‘How about you follow the rest of the clues. That X isn’t going to find itself.’
Back in the living room, Alice has followed her nose to the laptop I’ve set up and is pressing play on a playlist I’ve made called ‘Our A-Z Soundtrack’. The sun’s starting to set and a rich orange light is pitching in through the window. The final clue is peeking out from under my laptop but she’s not opened it yet. Music fills the room and Alice turns to me, her green eyes alight. ‘Shall we dance?’
She takes my hand and I pull her in close as we sway around the room, moving to the songs that take me back to the specific moments in time that frame our relationship. The eighties tunes where I couldn’t take my eyes off her at the disco, but felt like I wasn’t enough for her and ended up leaving early. The duet we sang at karaoke where I started to realise that maybe it wasn’t as black and white as I’d thought it was, after all. The songs I’d spent ages painstakingly selecting for our first trips out in Gerty because I was so desperate to show her how cool I was, when ironically I suspect she prefers the Point Romance-loving, comic-drawing geek I really am, anyway.
After our wine tasting date I’d felt those all-too-familiar prickles of insecurity coming back. Not that they’d gone anywhere, really, I’ve just got better at managing them. Because I’ve thrown a lot of stuff at her to deal with since we first met. Why had she stayed this long? Surely it was a matter of time before she upped and left? I look down at her now, her face lit up with happiness, and I realise that something’s lifted. The fear that she might realise what a dork I am and give up. That worry that she might remember her no-love rule and leave. Because, of course, that might still happen. No one knows what’s just around the corner. But with Alice’s help, I’ve learned to appreciate what’s right here in front of me. And tonight, the most beautiful sunbeam of a woman is trying to get me to attempt body-popping.
After a couple of semi-successful attempts, Alice is roaring with laughter.
‘I forgot the last clue!’ She says, eyes dropping back to the laptop.
‘Ah, yes. Would you mind waiting here for five minutes while I put the finishing touches on it. No looking! No cheating.’
‘Clue eight: Your XXXXXXX make my heart pop. A seven letter word? Bloody hell, Zach. Is it filthy?’ I’m back in the living room and Alice is trying out some potential words, counting their letters on her fingers. ‘Hmm. Can’t think of anything boob or butt related.’ She leans back on the sofa, the Sweet Valley High theme tune currently playing from the laptop.
‘Flowers? Is it flowers? Though why would they make your heart pop. I mean I know I’m good at my job and everything.’
‘Want more of a clue?’
‘Wouldn’t that be cheating?’
‘What, like when you jabbed me in the ribs on our jogging date so you could overtake me?’
Alice chortles. ‘All right then.’
‘Look at the last word of the clue.’
‘Pop. What pops? Pringles?’
‘That’s eight letters.’ I shake my head.
‘Pop pop pop. Pop ya collar, ha ha, good old Usher. Ooh, wait, pop a cork. Is it bubbles?’
I click my fingers. ‘Bingo! I actually wanted to go for effervescence but that felt a bit too long so you got bubbles instead. Well done. Now, where to find some?’
But Alice has already raced out of the room.
Alice gasps as she steps into her kitchen, now lit with candles on every surface. I spent the last five minutes hanging up polaroid pictures of us in here and attaching an X-shaped balloon to a bottle of fizz in the middle of her kitchen table, two of her mum’s champagne saucers next to it.
She looks at me, eyes filled with curiosity.
‘I found the X,’ she says, suddenly ever-so-slightly shy as she points towards the balloon.
‘Congratulations,’ I say, heart halfway up my throat as the nerves take hold.
‘Is that the English sparkling wine I drank most of at our wine tasting date?’
‘You said you liked it.’
‘I did.’ She bounds over to the balloon and I steel myself. Alice’s eyes are on me as spots the key I’ve attached to the bottom of the balloon.
‘What’s this?’
‘It’s a key
to, um, my house. I wanted to …’
‘Oh Zach that’s so sweet,’ Alice interrupts. ‘So now I can pop round without having to ring the bell.’
No! That’s not it.
‘Actually I …’
But Alice is on a roll. ‘I could get you one cut for here too, if you’d like? I’d have to check with Natalie first but I’m sure she wouldn’t mind.’
Fuck. I thought I’d been really clear but she’s misunderstood. Hastily I take the envelope I’d left underneath the key and slide it into my pocket while she’s not looking. She seems so happy with just having a key to let herself in, I can’t bring myself to ask her what I really wanted to.
Alice turns back to me and kisses me deeply on the lips before pulling back with a big smile on her face. ‘This feels like a big step for us.’
Then she pauses. ‘Sorry to kill the mood but would you mind pouring us the drinks while I nip to the loo? All that running around! I’ll be back in two mins.’
Alice dashes upstairs and I find myself standing in the kitchen at a loss, the envelope I quickly stuffed into my pocket now making its presence known. I pull it out, the last envelope in her scavenger hunt and the one she’ll never get to see.
Inside is my handwritten note and a butterscotch yellow keychain which I had embossed with A-Z.
Alice, will you make my house a home and move in with me?
It’s too late to explain what the scavenger hunt was really about now. Alice thinks having a key to my house is a big step so there’s no way I can ask her to move in with me. I tear at the casing on the champagne bottle, gutted that my plans for tonight have gone wrong. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe we’re on completely different pages, after all. Once again I find myself moving at a million miles an hour while Alice is still idling happily in her own time zone.
‘Are you okay?’ She asks, walking back into the kitchen to find me grumpily wrangling with the wine bottle. ‘Here, let me.’
She takes it from my hand and pops the cork, laughing with delight as sparkling wine fizzes out and over her fingers.
‘I can’t believe you gave me a key and trust me to let myself in,’ she beams. ‘To us?’
I watch her eyes light up as she holds a drink out for me. It’s not what I thought we’d be toasting to but I find myself raising my glass anyway.
‘To us,’ I agree.
Yoga
Alice
I went for tie-dye harem pants and a maroon T-shirt with the words ‘You Had Me At Namaste’ written on it for today’s date. Not my usual choice, I’ll admit, but I thought it would be fun to try some actual yoga and not just the sit at home, eating cake on my yoga mat with Natalie type. Besides, Zach loves exercising and he’s seemed a bit distracted all week so I thought this would help him de-stress.
He’s standing outside the studio when I arrive and I can see him do a double take of my ensemble.
‘Hey,’ I beam, reaching up to kiss him.
He smiles down at me but there’s something missing. His usual spark. I was utterly touched by the treasure hunt he’d set up for our last date but he’s seemed a little bit lacklustre ever since and I can’t for the life of my figure out why.
‘I’m guessing we’re doing yoga?’
‘Ten points! Was it the invitation to join me at a yoga studio that gave you your first clue? Maybe I should do a scavenger hunt for you next time.’
‘Always teasing,’ he says with a smile.
‘Come on, let’s go and stretch it out. I know you’ve been stressed with all the house renovations you’re doing on top of everything else, so I thought yoga could be a great way to unwind.’
Our instructor is called Ocean, a wiry, red-haired man with a South Yorkshire accent which leads me to the conclusion that Ocean may not be his actual name. He’s definitely big into water, though. The sound of crashing waves floats from the studio’s sound system and Ocean is wearing a pair of cropped but baggy blue shorts with a nautical print on them. And nothing else. Once the room has filled, he rolls out his mat at the front and switches off the sounds of the sea.
‘Heyyyyyyyyy,’ he says in a soft, lilting voice, motioning for us all to sit down. ‘Welcome. Today we’ll be practising with no music so that we can completely tune into our own bodies.’
Oh no. Please don’t let me fart. I’ve only done two classes at this studio before and let’s just say that I learned an important lesson about why you should never do group yoga after a cannellini bean wrap for lunch. At least that time there’d been background noise so I could look around accusingly, hoping no one could pinpoint me as the source.
‘During today’s flow we’ll focus on our upper bodies. Easing from one movement to the next. No jamming or forcing, just letting ourselves flowwwwww.’
Zach shoots me a look.
I bite my lip.
We start with our legs crossed and our palms at our hearts and I try very hard to listen to Ocean as he talks about clearing our minds. Mine is totally clear, I think. Absolutely empty. Did I use the last of the milk this morning? I should get some on the way home. No, focus on the flow. Did I lock up the flower shop last night?
‘Anyone find their minds wandering?’ Ocean asks and I realise he’s now standing right next to my mat.
I shake my head serenely.
‘Now to breathing,’ he says, taking a deep breath in through his nose and exhaling with an extremely loud AHHHHH sound through his mouth.
‘Inhale,’ he instructs and the sound of about fifteen people breathing in fills the room.
‘Exhale AHHH.’
We all attempt a tiny ahh.
‘Louder,’ instructs Ocean.
‘AHHH.’
‘LOUDER.’ Ocean practically barks this, losing his seascape voice for a second, and I jolt one eye open. After breathing in, I see Zach opening his mouth wide and I follow suit, trying not to giggle.
‘ARRRRRRGGGHHHHHHHH.’ We all but shout as we breathe out, tittering to ourselves.
Bridge pose isn’t going so well for Zach. I can hear his bones creaking as he tries to push himself up, wobbling for a second before collapsing back down on his back.
‘This is very undignified,’ he whispers over to me.
I love how much he’s trying.
Ocean pads over to Zach, crouching down until his bum practically hits the floor. So bendy, I marvel. ‘Looks like we have a yoga newbie here,’ he says. ‘What other sports do you do?’
‘I’m a runner and I do a lot of rock climbing,’ Zach replies.
‘Oh dear, oh dear. Verrrrryyyyy tight,’ says Ocean, running a hand across Zach’s broad shoulders. ‘Let’s try some simpler stretches for you, try to ease out those muscles.’
After that, the entire class is basically ignored while Ocean pervs on my boyfriend. Zach looks mildly flattered and quite a bit embarrassed as Ocean leads him up to the front, positioning their mats together so he can demonstrate to the rest of the class how to get a flat back.
‘Going back to basics is super important, even for seasoned yogis,’ he says, bending Zach over and running a hand down his spine. I try hard not to snort. By the end of the session, Zach’s been handed a leaflet and instructed to attend every week from now on. His cheeks are adorably pink as he finally extracts himself from ohms with Ocean and when we’re back out on the street, we both burst into laughter.
‘Well, at least I know that if it all goes tits up with you I’ve got options,’ he says.
I jab him in the side.
‘Hey! I actually don’t think it will go tits up, thanks very much. And if it does, you are not leaving me for a yoga instructor called Ocean. Deal?’
‘How about I’m not leaving you, full stop?’
My heart flutters as I take the hand he’s extended and we shake on it.
We head out for breakfast at Tamper in town afterwards and as we read through the menu I find myself wondering how many people are drawn to Zach like Ocean was, like I am. He’s the roaring fire on a freezing cold nig
ht that you just want to inch closer and closer towards. And yet he doesn’t seem to realise it.
‘What can I get for you guys?’ asks a member of staff.
In an ideal world I’d be following up yoga with some kind of smoothie bowl or maybe some avocado on toast but, let’s face it, that’s just not what I’m about. I opt for their version of a full English while Zach chooses the salt beef benedict.
‘Sounds good,’ I smile at him when our menus have been cleared away. ‘So, how did you find the class?’
Zach stretches his arms behind his head. ‘I’ll be feeling it tomorrow.’
‘Me too. My calves are going to be on fire after all those downward dogs.’
Zach nods, unwrapping his cutlery from the napkin and looking around the busy café. It’s packed in here already, filled with people catching up over a lazy weekend brunch or fuelling themselves before a day of shopping in town. And Zach and I … who don’t seem to have much to say to each other.
Our coffees arrive and I start up an overenthusiastic conversation with the person who brought our drinks until she’s called away to another table.
I look at Zach. He catches my eye and looks away.
‘What’s going on?’ I ask.
‘Nothing, you?’
‘Nothing! You’ve been quiet all day …’
‘I guess I’m a bit preoccupied,’ he shrugs.
‘You know you can talk to me about stuff. Is there anything I can help with?’
Zach sighs and stares off into the distance.
‘Am I the problem?’ I ask.
‘No, Alice, you’re not the problem at all.’
He’s interrupted by the arrival of our food. My breakfast is so huge it barely fits on the table and I’m starving but I can’t bring myself to start eating. Zach is definitely being off and it’s making me worried.
‘What is it then?’ I ask as Zach takes a slow sip of coffee.
