“Hey, shhhhhh,” he murmured, silencing her with a single finger against the lips. Though the touch was innocent, a definite intimacy tinged the simple gesture. With reluctance, he dropped his hand and kept his features straight. “You don’t have to keep apologizing. I get it.” His charming smile disarmed her more. “So, no more ‘thank you’, okay?”
She agreed with a soft smile. “Okay.”
“How are you this morning, by the way?” he asked quietly, wandering towards the bar. Once reaching it, he opened the small compact refrigerator and extracted a container of orange juice. Then, he proceeded to prepare a mixture of the juice and alcohol into a glass. The muscles flexed in his back as he went about the task, and there was a simplistic masculine nature about the act. “Drink?”
“No thank you.” She frowned. “Little early for a drink, isn’t it?”
“Nah,” he grinned wolfishly. “Just a good way to get things going.” He paused for a brief second. “Did you sleep well last night? The storm got pretty rough at some points.”
“I did.” That was somewhat close to the truth except for the parts when he consumed her thoughts. And, why did her words now sound so breathless? Suddenly desperate to find some level of equilibrium, she dropped back down onto the sofa. Staring across the space, she watched as he continued mixing the drink. “You’re right about the storm. The wind gusts were high, and the lightning was frightening at points.”
He passed a brief glance. “Lightning scares you?”
“Yes, it does,” she admitted. “When I was little, about 9 years old, a bad storm came up, and lightning struck a tree close to the house. It fell not too far from my bedroom, and didn’t miss me by much. To say that I was lucky is an understatement. If anything, it was a divine blessing that saved me.” As their eyes met across the room, she gulped softly. It was hard to play detached when her entire insides were in turmoil. Just one hot sexy look from him was enough to render her dazed. Too, why was she telling him about her fear, one that she’d held since childhood? That thought alone was disturbing enough. Still, she pressed on with the tale. “Even to this day I can remember how terrified I was.”
“That’s reasonable considering. Next time a storm brews, come rouse me.” Eyeing her close, he tipped the glass to his lips before draining the orange concoction. An encouraging light shone in his eyes. “I’ll stay with you until it lies over, or we can wait it out in my room.” An incredibly irresistible smile curved his lips. “Or wherever you want to---just as long as you feel safe and protected.”
For a minute, stupefied, she stared back at him.
In his big strong arms, she’d take anywhere!
“I’m sure that won’t be necessary,” she murmured in a soft tone and struggled to appear nonchalant. Yet, under his perusing stare, it was difficult to do so. Already, the warmth was spreading throughout her, and didn’t she love the fact that he was watching her so closely? Any denial on her part would be a bald-face lie. And how long had it been since she’d felt so womanly, or been in touch with her inner vibes? Stop it, she chastised inwardly. At the moment, those thoughts were completely unwarranted! Keep the conversation on even level! Dumbfounded, she watched as he strode towards her, and when he sank down beside her, she nearly lost her cool. Swallowing hard, she continued on, though slightly breathlessly. “Being a grown woman, I should be over my fear anyway.”
“There’s just some shit that you never get over, no matter how much you want to. It festers like a sore, and you just keep bleeding it out.”
His emotional words rendered her speechless.
How was it possible that he was hitting dead on the truth?
Like a switch, the light mood in the room dampened.
Now, it was downright serious.
Stunned, she trailed her gaze along his face.
A faraway and pained look had stricken his features.
No doubt, he’d experienced some type of horrible ordeal, and at the moment, he was lost in that very memory. It was apparent that this private battle of his had become an ugly constant fixture in his life.
Her lips trembled slightly.
Didn’t she understand that type of hell better than anyone?
And why did she suddenly want to wipe away his every fear?
When he turned sideways and faced her, she forced the unsettling thoughts back. For the millionth time, she reminded herself that her real feelings had no place here. Still, though, she’d reached a vulnerable plateau that was inescapable.
“So, we learn how to just deal and keep pretending.” Once more, his expression was rife with unspoken things. “Isn’t it downright frightening how the real world doesn’t see the real you?” Now, his emotions were vividly raw, and she knew that she was catching sight of the real him. “They only see the false caricature that you’ve created.”
Another obvious truth, she realized, feeling the threat of tears.
Blinking hard and fast, she looked away from him.
What was real?
Just how long had she been enmeshed within a world of pretend?
A world that was curved with both truths and untruths….
So, when did she really breathe?
When did she face the real truths about herself?
Like the fact that she was still struggling to get over Gage’s death.
Fighting on a daily basis to eradicate the guilt that consumed her…
Struggling to accept that Gage was gone forever…
Against her volition, the hot tears sprang forward.
All over, she started to shake.
When his warm hand grasped hers and tightened about it, she didn’t pull away. Instead, she looked at him and sought more comfort. “I’m sorry,” she whispered quietly, blinking at the tears, but still, they plopped against her cheek. Her lips trembled as she fought to control the deep sobs resonating inside of her body. “What you just said made me think of something.”
“Hey,” he murmured gently, watching her close. Then, reaching out with his free hand, he brushed the tears from her cheek. At his innocent touch, she instantly felt their intense connection---an emotional one that was embedded within their deep-rooted attraction. It was one that he felt too because his own gaze was tumultuous. “Please, don’t feel like you have to apologize. You want to talk about it?”
Her lips trembled more. “No. Talking about it never helps.” To her shame, more hot tears burned her eyes. She dropped her tear-filled gaze to his chest. “I’m sorry for blowing an innocent conversation out of proportion. I’m such a fool---”
“No, don’t say that.” Pressing a gentle finger against her lips, he silenced her, and again, his touch was comforting. “What did I tell you about all of these apologies, damsel? They’re not needed, and you’re not a fool. Look at me.” As their gazes met once more, his eyes held kindness and firm understanding. “You know what, I get it. I know what it’s like for something to eat away at you, day after day. No matter how hard you try to fight off the ghosts, they still hover in the shadows. In the dark hours of the night, you can’t hide from them or shake them off. They easily breathe within your reality and nightmares.” The fresh pain constricted his handsome features, and now it seemed that his emotions were in danger of spiraling out of control. But, quickly, he reined them in. “I don’t know what’s happened with you. But, whatever it is, you will survive. You’re strong enough, damsel. If there’s anyone that can beat bullshit, it’s definitely you.” A teasing light filled his eyes, and with a sweet gentleness, he caressed her soft cheek. “You’re a self-professed badass, remember? It’s a testament that I firmly agree with.”
She gave him a wobbly smile. “A testament that is the truth.” Then, as her gaze softened further, she grasped his wrist. “Thank you for understanding.”
Their intense gazes held.
A new bond had been forged.
“You’re welcome.”
“And for what it’s worth,” she whispered, leaning into his caress unconscio
usly, not even realizing that she was doing so. “If you want to talk about anything, I---I’m here.”
The shadows fell from his face.
She sensed a different vulnerability.
Like her, he wanted to explore the realm of their newly discovered level of high trust. But, too, like her, he was shying away from it.
Yet, for how long?
The walls between them were quickly and easily crumbling.
“Fair game, then?” he asked, attempting a smile and failed. No doubt, it was obvious that they’d ventured into forbidden territory. But, if they treaded upon it, little by little, step by step, they’d unleashed the deepest parts of themselves. That realization kept their gazes spellbound by the other, and with a careful tentativeness, they embraced it. “I guess that’ll make us even.”
“I guess so,” she whispered.
Suddenly, he startled her as he stood.
With a profound intensity, he stared down at her. “Come with me.”
As she stood, heart skipped a beat, and she pondered if it were the mood or the fact that she was standing soclose to him. Like a besotted fool, she accepted the hand that he held out. Again, their physical contact was overwhelming to the point where she struggled to find balance. Still, she managed to ask, “Where are we going?”
“You’ll find out soon enough,” he muttered, tagging her along behind him. “And there’s nothing better than the element of surprise.”
Rather than heading toward the stairwell, he headed towards the kitchen. Once there, they ventured to the area leading to the basement. Within a few minutes, she found herself standing dead center of a man cave. Though this one was surprising, she mulled, stunned, fascinated by the different styles of guitars, both electronic and acoustic, that hang behind the glass enclosures. Posters and pictures of all the great and legendary guitar mavens adorned the walls.
Apart from that, the room was simple.
A 70” plasma TV on the center wall…
The leather sofa-sleeper was already laid out and mussed, she noted with surprise. Across it, music sheets were scattered alongside an acoustic guitar.
“Surprised?” he asked, raising a brow, and stopped before her. A teasing glint shone in his gray orbs. “It’s okay. You can say it out loud. The son of a mob kingpin--a music softie---has to be an outright, joke, right?”
“Honestly, I have to say that I am surprised.”
A momentary pang of guilt hit her as her gaze fell on the music sheets. Weeks ago, hadn’t she stumbled across some while snooping in his study? And why did it suddenly seem so unfair that she was infringing upon his very privacy? But, within that guilt, wasn’t she discovering things that she actually wanted to know? That womanly part of her, the forbidden one, wanted to know more about him…the things that made the real Titan tick. With growing fascination, she moved away from him and trailed in the direction of the sofa bed. Even though all of the musical trebles, notations, and symbols on the yellow sheeting were completely foreign to her, she picked it up anyway. The fact that he knew what it meant was fascinating enough.
“What does all this mean?” she asked shyly.
“That one,” he noted with some discomfort, but quickly masked it. “I haven’t been working on it that long…so there are some kinks that need to be worked out.”
Out loud, she read the scribbled title across the page. “Reckless Passion.”
As he stopped so close before her again, she stopped breathing altogether. “Admittedly, it’s one of my most passionate and intense pieces yet.” His gaze darkened to a fever pitch as he stared down into her face. “The inspiration behind it is pushing me to a point that I once deemed unreachable, and I’m experiencing a musical freedom that I’ve never felt before. One where I get lost in the sounds and words...”
There seemed to be double meaning behind his words.
But, what, she mulled breathlessly.
Surely, he wasn’t hinting at her?
Her silly little heart wanted to think so.
“Can I hear some it?” she prodded gently. “Just a little?”
Their vulnerable gazes clung.
“Alright, anything for you, damsel,” he said in a raspy tone. “But, don’t you dare laugh at me.”
Her gaze softened. “I’d never do that.”
Again, what right did she have to demand such a thing from him, she thought to herself, pushing the niggling guilt away. Still, she wanted to more from him, for herself and her alone. Like a besotted fool, she was willingly hurling herself down the rabbit hole, chasing an impossible fantasy that could never be realized.
At least not in the real word, she mulled, settling onto the bed, and watched as he picked up the acoustic guitar. Her heart skipped a thousand more beats at his lopsided grin. But, here, in their private mountainous world, she could steal all the private joys that she wanted. And right now, the real outside world didn’t exist here…
The sofa bed sagged as he sat down beside her.
“Singing is not my main forte. So, I’ll go ahead and tell you that my voice isn’t the best,” he murmured, positioning the guitar against his body. Then, his hot heated gaze stole hers again. “But, words are necessary, and what good is sound without the deep meaning behind it?” His smile was laced with vulnerability again, and the sight of it sent ripples through her. “Again, like I said, it’s a little rough.”
She gave an encouraging smile. “I’m sure it’ll be okay.”
His gaze dropped to her lips.
The tremors racked through her.
His eyes just stayed transfixed there.
With his fingers, he plucked the first string. “It’s starts out with the chorus first, and like I said, I’m just now scratching this out.” Then, he began singing in a deep raspy baritone that was surprisingly good. “Reckless passion…stolen every part of me…reckless passion…you’re the only thing that I breathe…reckless sorrow…morn for you through the nights…obsessive fire…won’t rest until you’re mine…” he crooned. “You’re moonlight and madness…my heaven and my hell…both the light and the shadows…fully drenched inside your world…still can’t turn away…don’t wanna walk away…want to come straight to you…straight to you…straight to you…baby…”
Mesmerized, she clung to every lyric.
Along with the acoustic sound, it was everything.
Had there ever been a sound so hauntingly beautiful?
The song’s lyrics detailed a deep yearning for someone.
For a moment, she felt like an intruder.
As he played and sang, the passion was etched about his face.
With every note that he struck, she fell deeper into his private world.
When he reached the bridge in the song, his eyes sought hers. With a renewed fervor, their gazes stayed locked. Every chord signified the unrelenting tension, deep longing, and tumultuous feelings.
As the song ventured into the chorus, he finally looked away.
She released a pent up breath.
Still, her own need clawed her insides out.
Her scattered thoughts wandered.
This woman…
His woman…
She was the very thing that he yearned for.
A pang of jealousy hit her.
Why did she want that woman to be her?
By the time he played the final note, she was a complete emotional mess.
A profound silence stole the room.
One that was vitally necessary within the tense seconds that followed.
Again, a dangerous vulnerability filled their clinging gazes.
Even if they wanted, they couldn’t dare look away.
Now, they were sitting closer than close.
So close that the heat radiated from their bodies.
No…
They had to come back to reality.
If they didn’t, what would happen between them?
“That was beautiful,” she whispered, finally breaking the silence, and unconscio
usly bit her lip. Her action caused his eyes to fall to her mouth again. The desire in his gray orbs was too much to turn away from. She sucked in a pained breath, but still forced herself to speak. “The words…everything…”
“Like I said,” he murmured hoarsely, meeting her eyes again. “I’m still working through this. With all hope, I’ll bring the lyrics and sound to the right place.”
Her eyelashes fluttered twice. “You’re getting there, and you’re closer than you realize.”
And just what was the meaning by her words?
Was she hinting at herself?
And why was she crazily thinking the song was about her?
That very reckoning thought made her stand abruptly. “I---I think that I should go.”
With careful ease, he stood up. “Why?”
“Surely, I’ve taken up enough of your time.” The heat flamed her face as she looked across the room, and then finally settled her gaze on him again. As he placed the guitar back onto the sofa bed, she watched him closely. When their eyes met again, she nearly came apart. Again, there was so much emotion there. “I don’t expect you to spend your every waking moment entertaining me.”
“And if I tell you that I want to be here, would that be suffice, damsel? Or will you continue to give rote instructions on how and what we’re both supposed to be saying, thinking, and feeling?”
She gave a slight gasp. “What do you mean by that?”
“Don’t you know that the real moments are the most important ones in life?” He took a step closer to her. “Hell, I have so few of them that I cling to any that I get. Right here and right now, I’m enjoying the sheer pleasure of your company.” His gaze challenged her. “Is there some hidden harm in that?”
It was if you weren’t being fully honest.
Like she wasn’t!
She swallowed hard. “No, there’s no harm. I just don’t want to be a burden---”
Again, her conversation was cut abruptly by a single finger.
Rise of the Titan Page 16
