Against his skin, she breathed his name wildly.
Over and over, he pumped into her faster.
So fast, that their pace was now dizzying.
Sobbing wildly, she pleaded for more. “Fuck me…fuck me…fuck me…”
“Keep bringing that ass like that and I will,” he breathed roughly at her ear, gripping her hips tighter, and humped faster. His labored breathing sounded almost painful, and like her, he had no control over himself. Within their madness now, his breathy promises were slurred and riddled with self-defeat. Against the wall, he fucked her harder, making her feel every bit of his penetration. Yet, he was pleasurably damned just as much as she was. His dark cry signified as much. “Oh fuck…yes….that’s it, baby girl…bring it to me…”
She cried out in reckless surrender.
And she was his…
Deep down, didn’t she feel the same?
There was no escaping him.
In a thousand lifetimes, she’d never want to.
And now, he was all she felt.
All that she knew…
With his every direct hit, they were bound closer.
A firestorm ignited.
Burned them to a cinder…
Together, crying out, they felt the burn.
***
The night hours arrived.
They spent most of them doing one thing.
Making love…
At some point, they’d even gone to the basement, and he’d played and serenaded her. Again, as he did, she’d found herself falling for him more. They’d made love there amidst his music notes and with his guitar propped against the bed. There’d been something extremely soulful about that encounter.
She didn’t know why, it just was.
To say that they’d grown close was an understatement.
It was a mutual obsession.
With every passing hour, that very obsession had heightened.
They were both open and vulnerable to it.
But, now, her mind was open to the very thoughts that she’d closed them against, she mulled, distraught, rolling onto her side, and glanced at the table clock, only to find that it was already past midnight. With a sinking heart, she thought of the sleeping man behind her. When she’d stirred, he’d automatically hugged her closer against him.
Dear God, how could she turn away from that?
She swallowed past the clogging tears.
Being close to him like this---there was nothing more satisfying, and she could become accustomed to it all too easily. But, in this life, in their reality, being together was not even a remote possibility.
Her lips quivered.
They didn’t stand a chance in hell.
She was who she was.
And he was he.
Even so, she wanted them.
But, they’d never be.
She closed her eyes against the painful truth.
For a moment, she stayed in bed, lying there, and snuggled close to his naked body. After an hour passed, still sleepless, she carefully disengaged her body from his. Once she’d donned the white terry robe, she stood alongside the bed and savored her last final moment with him.
“Maybe someday, somehow,” she whispered quietly, blinking at the tears, and was overwhelmed with heady regret. “We’ll find our somewhere.”
Moments later, dressed in a windbreaker, t-shirt, and jeans, she escaped from the other bedroom. Hurriedly, she passed his room before bounding down the stairs. Unsurprisingly, the rest of the house was dark except for the hallway area. She ventured in that direction, and within seconds, she entered the study. Once reaching the desk, she switched on the small desk lamp.
“And where did you put your keys?” she thought out loud and settled behind his desk. Pushing back her guilt, she tugged on the smallest drawer, and to her relief, it budged. At the right corner of the drawer, the Jeep key was slightly buried beneath some papers. She cuffed them quickly and stuffed them in her pocket. Then, she blew a guilty breath before standing. “Just great---I’m officially insane for what I’m doing---”
“Why are you here again?”
She yelped in surprise.
Her startled gaze fell forward.
In the doorway, shrouded in her usual white garb, his mother faced her. Around her feet, the tabby cat slinked and passed her the same accusing stare. Shutting the door behind her, Lola regarded her with renewed curiosity through the veil. “Ok, I’ll ask again. Why are you in my son’s study?” A strong protectiveness filled her tone. Her footsteps were soundless as she crossed the room, and soon, she faced her across the desk. “If anything, I know how private and sacred this space is to him, and yet, you’re here.”
“I---I was just returning a book.”
Beneath the veil, Lola scowled. “Then, why are you behind his desk?”
“Certainly, my intentions aren’t to take advantage of things. It was just so quiet. So, I decided to sit here and read.” A hot flush stained her face as she forked the lie out. “Again, I’m sorry for intruding. Next time, I’ll take the sofa.”
The moment seemed surreal as his mother watched her. Truly, Lola seemed like a flitting ghost, one that’d materialize and disappear in an instance. Still, though, a quiet strength was noticeable as she raised her chin. “I know what you’re afraid of.”
“Afraid of?” she asked, interest piqued. “What do you mean?”
“You’re afraid that he’s like him. While my son is far from being a saint, he’ll never be like Carlo Vitali in a thousand lifetimes.” Lola tensed, and suddenly, it seemed that she was consumed with rage. “You know what? He stole my life---turned me into this miserable piece of nothing that I am now.” She tilted her chin higher. “But, my son deserves the world, and I’ll be damned before I allow Carlo to ruin his life.” Still watching her steadily, Lola settled in the chair facing the desk. Then, she inclined her head towards the plush office chair. “Now, unless you want me to go upstairs and wake Braden, I suggest that you sit down.”
She gave a jerky nod before sitting down. “Okay.”
For the next tense seconds, they both watched each other uneasily.
“You’re one of Vitali’s girls, right?” Lola probed with vivid curiosity and stiffened further. In the chair, her posture was ramrod straight with tension. “Cassius has told me that much.”
“If you’re meaning that I’m a dancer at the club,” she noted with discomfort. “Then, yes.”
“Dancer?” Lola scoffed with a shaky laugh. “Baring your naked ass to a room full of horny men doesn’t equate dancing, sweetheart. And trust me, I know the kind of services Vitali’s dancers offer.”
The sharp rebuttal rested on her lips, eager to be released in a fiery tirade. Instead, though, she spoke with a dead calmness. “I’m not a whore----”
“You’re not Florence Nightingale either, are you?” Lola shot back, edging forward more in the chair, and her stare turned more accusing behind the veil. “Cassius is convinced that you’re far from innocent. I’d love to disagree with him. But, I can’t.” She settled back in the chair. “When you were first here, you were snooping around, and you’re still doing the same. Are you Vitali’s plant? Are you working for him?”
“I’m not Vitali’s spy.” She resisted the urge to squirm in the seat. “Braden and I met by chance on a stormy night---”
“Sounds like a splashy scene from a romance novel,” Lola muttered fast, leaning forward to stroke the tabby cat that suddenly materialized out of nowhere again. Then, she straightened in the seat again. “But, in our dark world, romanticism fails to exist.”
“Despite what you might think,” she said with a straight face. “I don’t have a hidden agenda.”
“Yet, you’re here in the dark---”
“Again, I was simply reading and nothing more. I was getting ready to leave when you walked in.” At her sharp tone, Lola tensed up. Taking a steady breath, she softened it. The last thing that she wanted was to put his mother into an emot
ional tailspin. “Braden suggested that I make myself at home here, and maybe I’ve gone slightly overboard with his offer of hospitality.”
“Obviously, where you’re concerned, my son is granting liberties that he never bestows on others. In these damn mountains, he’s practically a recluse, and generally has no desire for any company apart from Cassius’s. So, the fact that he’s so open with you here says a lot.” His mother paused for a short moment. “You know what, Bella? I think that you’ve gotten a false impression of me. While I do waltz around this estate all odd days and times of the night, I do harbor a certain air of normalcy. Contrary to popular belief, I’m not completely insane.” Lola adjusted the veil along her face. “First and foremost, let me apologize for that lame display of mine a few weeks ago.” With shame, the woman’s eyes dropped to the floor. “There are times and instances when I’m not myself. But, the meds, they keep me stable when I take them.” Through the gauzy veil, she met her gaze. “Again, I’m sorry.”
“You don’t owe me anything, let alone an apology.”
“Maybe not, but I offer one anyway.” Lola passed her an uncomfortable look. “Forgive me for being frank, but there’s no other way to put it.” Then, her discomfort turned to one that was totally unapologetic. “You need to leave. The last thing that my son needs is a broken heart.”
“Broken heart?” Her own heart skipped a beat. Wasn’t hers already breaking? Ever since realizing that they didn’t stand a chance, hers had been splintering apart. “Braden and I are hardly at the point where---”
“But, you know him well enough to fuck him.” His mother laughed humorlessly. “Don’t take me for a fool. I’ve seen the way that the two of you look at one another. And considering that Braden hasn’t left this house is telling.” She ran her eyes up and down her, and then settled her gaze on her bruised nape. “Not only that, but your body has all the tell-tale signs of a well-loved woman.”
“I hardly think that’s any of your business.” The color heightened in her face. “What we do or don’t do together is no one’s business but our own.”
“That’s where you wrong.” Beneath the veil, Lola’s lip turned downward in a disapproving frown. “Anything and everything that concerns my son is my business.”
“Braden’s a big boy.” She tensed behind the desk. “I think that he’s capable of handling his own business.”
“Trust me. I have no doubt about that. My son is stronger than most and has survived the most awful of things.” Again, a sound protectiveness filled his mother’s tone. “But, I will not stand idly by and allow him to be hurt.”
“Why do you think that I’d hurt him?” she asked with a pained breath. Still, it hurt to breathe past the guilt. “I have no reason to do so.”
“Your connection to Vitali is validation enough that you can’t be trusted. His so-called father has caused him enough grief to last a lifetime. Hurting people is what Carlo does best. So, it wouldn’t be above him to send you here and get my son off-balance.” A naked hatred masked her tone. “I hate him. When I think about the terror that son-of-a-bitch has wrought upon my life and my son’s, I see pure red. I want him to die. When I’m strong enough, I’m going to kill him.”
Stunned, she looked back at the woman.
Like her, understandably, she hated Carlo Vitali with venom.
Hadn’t she come this close to killing him herself?
“You seem nice enough,” Lola went on. “But, a con always has to play the game well.” Still, she studied her long and hard. “Yet, while I do say those things, you do seem different. Don’t ask me why, but you just do.” She frowned. “But, my judgment has been skewed on more than one occasion. Therefore, I have to take things at face value.”
“Well, again, you’re completely wrong about me. I’m not here to hurt Braden, and I don’t want to hurt him.”
Lola flicked her eyes over her. “Looking at you and seeing as you’re reacting right now, I can tell that you’re being sincere.”
She swallowed hard. “There’s no other way to be.”
“Let’s get one thing clear. Being with my son requires a high level of commitment. He’s not an easy man to love due to all of his emotional baggage.” Now, regret tinged her tone. “It takes a lot for him to trust and let people in. For some strange reason or another, he’s decided to do that with you. So, that’s the valid reason for my leeriness. You’re getting too close, and I have to ensure that you meet my expectations.”
“Your expectations?”
“He deserves a woman who’ll fully commit to him---one that’ll accept every shade of him, especially the darker parts. That requires someone who’s incredibly special.” Lola blew an exasperated breath. “I’m not sure that’s you. He needs a woman of integrity and strength, not a cheap floozy that’s willing to bare her goods for the whole world to see---”
She stared at her defensively. “You hardly know me to be making such assumptions---”
“I know enough. Too, I have to say that I’m not pleased with my son’s sudden obsession. He’s totally smitten by you.” Lola eyed her close again. “But, now, looking at you, really looking at you, I can see that the feeling’s mutual. You do have feelings for him, don’t you?”
Of course, she had feelings for him!
And wasn’t she equally obsessed with him?
Day and night, he was the only thing that she breathed in or wanted to.
That jeopardized everything!
“Again,” she murmured, releasing a frustrated breath. “This is between Braden and me only.”
At the woman’s pointed stare, her flush worsened. Of course, verbal tangling with his mother was unnerving! Getting past the mother lioness was always a difficult task.
“Alright, I’ll step back for now,” Lola sighed and stood. Again, her feline companion slinked around her ankles and regarded her with the same dismissive air. “Just so you know, tomorrow, I’ll be here at the house. But, I think it’s best that we keep our little conversation just between us.”
She gave a stiff nod. “I agree.”
“Tabby and I will be on our way, then. We just dropped by for a moment to pick up a few things. As soon as I grab that, we’ll be out of your hair.”
And she’d be long gone by then.
But, she couldn’t say that out loud.
Instead, she murmured, “I suppose that this is goodnight, then.”
Lola passed her another long stare. “Goodnight.” Then, she smiled down at the tabby cat. “Come on darling. We better go before Carmine sends the S.W.A.T. team out searching for us.”
Together, Lola and the cat exited the room.
As soon as they did, she sagged against the chair with relief. “Well, that didn’t go well. She doesn’t trust me and with good reason.”
Suddenly, his car keys seemed to weigh a ton in her pocket, and once more, she shook off the lingering guilt. But, she wasn’t a thief! For a temporary period, she was pseudo-borrowing his car. Once she was back at home, she’d leave it in a safe place.
Quickly, she snatched up the note pad. When she got ready to write, the words just wouldn’t come. “I have do this,” she whispered, taking in a shaky breath. Again, she blinked back the instant tears. “There’s no other choice. Turning my back on you is the only solution. I can’t desecrate Gage’s memory because of my own selfishness.”
She touched the pen to the pad.
As she began writing, the tears blurred her vision.
Dear Braden,
As I sit down to write this, I’m struggling to find the right words. Usually, they come to me easily when I’m voicing my opinion. But, when it comes to expressing my feelings, it’s difficult for me. For one reason or another, I’m feeling actively brave tonight, though, and I want to be completely open and honest with you.
A wild raging storm brought us together on a fateful night.
This thing between is as volatile and passionate as that very tempest.
You are my enigma.
When it comes to you, I’m wildly impulsive and reckless.
I fear that very much.
It only means that I can’t win against this.
Us….
But, in my truest heart, I know that we moved to fast, and there are unspoken things that’d only complicate our situation further. Someday, you’ll understand my words and why.
It’d be much too easy to keep pretending.
To keep losing myself in you--
I can’t stay.
Outside of here, way past our glorious hideaway, the real world exists.
I have a life, and so do you.
We need to go back and live them.
Separately.
Please don’t try to find me or come to the club seeking me out. I will deny you outright. While it saddens me to say this, it’s best that we just end things here. This is goodbye.
Sincerely,
Bella
P.S.
Sorry for taking your car. Since I’m short on transportation, I had no other choice but to borrow it temporarily. I’ll leave it at Sinful Shades for pickup. Don’t worry. I’ll pass the keys to someone trustworthy a.k.a Leo. Ask for him.
She stared down at the scribbled note.
“Goodbye Braden “Titan” Jameson.” A fat tear plopped against her cheek. “You will always be the man that set me on fire.”
Then, standing, she switched off the light.
***
Hours later, at 2:12 am, she was standing outside her ground level apartment.
She glanced to her left.
The lights were out in the adjacent apartments and the parking area vacant.
Without a doubt, the neighbors were out.
And that meant solitude in every sense.
Breathing a sigh of relief, she turned the key and stepped inside the apartment. After closing the door, she looked around the semi-darkened area, and it was partly visible because of the dim hallway light. To her luck, the place was partially furnished and included some furnishings for the living room. Along with a glass-top table, the white leather sofa and matching ottoman rested at the center of the room. Only decorative pieces were missing for the wall, and those things were optional additives, and of course, her sole responsibility. A few boxes were scattered around since she hadn’t really had time to unpack. Plus, considering that her remaining items had been damaged in the flood, she was lucky to have anything. With haste, she had to replenish the lost goods.
Rise of the Titan Page 27
