The elevator doors whished open on the 31st floor.
Once more, her stomach was a bottomless pit.
“Are you okay?” Alicia inquired with concern, looking at her. “You look like you’re going to pass out.”
“Elevators sometimes make me a little claustrophobic,” she lied quickly, following alongside her as they stepped off. “It’s not often that I’m in a high-rise building like this. Too, I’m a tad bit apprehensive about this meeting.”
“You’ll get used to it, don’t worry. And don’t let my earlier warning about Titan frighten you. He’s a decent man, though many people are not aware of that fact.” Her look turned defensive. “They wrongly compare him to others, and that’s not quite fair.”
So, Titan had a cheerleader other than her, she thought with a pang of jealousy.
And a beautiful one at that…
The hallway was an overwhelmingly bright white.
Coupled with the overhead lights, the plush carpeting offered a sterile naturalistic cleanliness because of its whiteness. Even the walls were…white…
As they continued walking, it finally dawned.
All of this was intentional.
It was a subconscious way of cleansing his inner darkness.
She stared blindingly across the way.
Why couldn’t he see that he was already pure light?
They passed through the white wooden door. After moving past the seating area, they met the receptionist area. “Hi, Penelope,” Alicia called out, propping against the desk, and peered at the woman seated behind the huge desk. “Been pretty busy today?”
“Swamped is not the word,” the petite blonde murmured tiredly, blowing a breath. Grunting, she pushed up from the chair and stood, finally revealing a well-rounded pregnant belly. “I can’t wait for the day to be over.” Then, turning, she acknowledged her with a friendly smile. “And I’m assuming that this is Ms. Spencer?”
“It is, and I like her already,” Alicia chimed in quick.
Penelope extended a hand. “I’m Penelope, Titan’s personal receptionist, and I’m here to assist you in any way that I can.”
“Thank you,” she smiled, returning the handshake. “I appreciate your kind offer.”
Alicia clapped her hands together. “Well, I’m going to leave you two ladies at it. Unfortunately, urgent duty calls me.” She passed her a cordial smile. “If you’re in need of anything, you’ll find me on the 27th floor.”
“Thank you for all of your help,” she said in turn.
Giving a final adieu, the executive assistant departed.
“Well, you’re in my care now,” Penelope gushed with another smile. “Can I get you coffee, water, or anything? We have a lounge just down the hallway.”
She smiled again. “No, I’m fine.”
“Well, if you change your mind let me know, okay?” The receptionist’s smile was cordial again. “If you don’t mind, I need you to have a seat in the waiting area. I’ll let Mr. Jameson know that you’re here.”
Her stomach dropped again.
Still, she nodded. “Alright.”
Turning, she walked to the nearest chair and sank down. Then, she watched the receptionist waddle towards his office before going inside and closing the door. Glancing around, she breathed a sigh of relief. Thank goodness…no one else was around…The less people around to witness this train wreck the better…
But, her relief was short-lived as his office door swung open.
“Ms. Spencer,” Penelope smiled again before stepping aside and granted her a full view of the office. “Mr. Jameson will see you now.”
A nervous tremor rippled through her again.
She thought herself prepared.
Wrong.
Already, she was getting off kilter.
Dead center of the huge office, he was situated behind the desk. He was dressed handsomely in a neat black business suit, tie and all. Frowning, tapping a pen against the desktop, he conversed openly about something software related. Then, as if sensing her, he glanced up briefly with an unreadable expression before looking away.
She fought against the hurt.
Just like that he was dismissing her…
“Ms. Jameson,” Penelope murmured, somewhat puzzled, and settled behind her desk again. “Is everything okay?”
She forced. “I’m fine. My thoughts were just preoccupied.”
“Go in and have a seat. He’ll be finished with the call in 5 minutes or so?”
She stalled for another moment. “Are you sure that I won’t be intruding?”
The woman gave a polite smile again. “I’m sure.”
She stood up on wobbly legs.
Summoning what little courage she had, she forged ahead.
When she stepped inside, he broke from the call for a second only to give a curt order. “Close the door behind you.”
“Okay,” she said quietly and acquiesced.
But, already he’d turned his attention back to the phone conversation.
She cast a curious look around.
Like the other areas in the business complex, his office was impressive.
A white leather sofa near the window…
Of course, a bar was naturally there…
A sitting area for small conferencing…
She started when he suddenly spoke.
“Are you going to stand there all day or have a seat?” Frowning, he held the phone away from his ear. “I’ll be finished with my call in a moment. So, sit down.”
Finally, he prickled her.
Narrowing her gaze, she took the seat facing his desk.
“We’ll get together on this Baker,” he relayed fast, picking a ledger up from the desk, and then skimmed over it. “I’ll look over the information that you’ve given me and will get back to you as soon as I can. When the time is feasible, we’ll discuss more advances in this proposal.” He paused for a second, giving the other party time to respond. Then, he gave a brisk nod. “Alright---talk to you soon.”
With that, he hung up the phone.
“Good afternoon, Ms. Spencer.” Then, he eyed her coolly over the desk. “I’m assuming that Alicia has given you a brief impromptu tour of the building?”
Ms. Spencer?
So, that’s how he was going to play it?
She tried not to look hurt.
“Yes, she did.”
“Good. You’re off to a good start then,” he said stiffly. “Seeing as Vitali wanted you to start immediately, I guess that we’ll go ahead.” While he continued watching her, his blank expression didn’t change. “Is that alright with you?”
Her head’s fast jerk was close to a nod. “Of course, Mr. Jameson.”
At the use of his surname, he stilled for a scant second but recovered quickly.
“Alright then, there’s no time like the present. You may as well get started. Wyatt’s not back from lunch yet. As soon as he returns, he’ll explain your duties and place you with a mentor.”
Keeping a straight face, she tried not to blink. “Wyatt?”
“Wyatt is the head of the mail department,” he said dryly, continuing to write. “He’s been here for over 10 years, so he runs a tight ship---”
As the anger began simmering inside of her, she reared forward in the seat. “Mailroom---what are you talking about?”
“Ah, come on, Ms. Spencer, you know what a mailroom is. Letters and other correspondence----”
“I know what the hell a mailroom is,” she cursed, shooting him an angry glare, one which was missed since he wasn’t looking at her. That action miffed her as well. “What does it have to do with me?”
“It has everything to do with you because that’s where you’ll be working.” Finally, looking at her, his expression stayed blank. “What did you expect?”
“We had an agreement---”
“An agreement that I’m living up to,” he snapped, showing a crack in his hard demeanor for the first time. “Vitali wanted you to get experien
ce, so you’re here. Count your lucky stars that you’re even in this office.”
“What is this?” she asked quietly. “Some kind of punishment?”
“Punishment for what? For you playing me for a fool?” His gray eyes cooled further, almost unfeeling like. Still, a raw turbulence seethed at the seams of his carefully controlled behavior. “Trust me, Ms. Spencer, there’s a line between business and pleasure. It’s one that I’ve always respected and adhered to. Where you’re concerned, I damned well plan to live up to it with finesse. There will be no crossing the line. So, don’t worry your pretty little head about that.” A direct coldness seeped from him. “Surely, you’re not expecting special treatment?”
“The plan was for me to shadow you,” she argued, raising her voice. “Not sort and stuff envelopes all day.”
“Wait, let me get this straight.” He chuckled but it didn’t resonate with any humor. “Your idea is to waltz in here, be a painstaking nuisance in my ass, and then play co-boss? Give me a fucking break, will you?” His jaw bone tightened. “It’s apparent that you have Vitali wound around your little finger. While he may bend and cower to your every wish and command, I won’t do the same. Besides that, my position is clear. Your worst offense is your lack of skills. They’re hardly substantial enough for you to be placed in a viable position.” Eyeing her coyly, he hurled the pen onto the desk. As he leaned back in the seat, a speculative light shone in his eyes. “Take the mailroom or get out.”
So, that’s what he was expecting.
For her to get so angry that she’d leave…
Well, she’d never give him that satisfaction!
“You know what, Mr. Jameson? You’re absolutely right. It was wrong of me to try and accept any handouts,” she agreed, forcing a false meekness. “My accomplishments will be marked by only hard work and dedication. That means starting from the bottom and working my way up. Eventually, I’ll find the top without relying on my stilettos.” Leaning back in the chair, she smiled sweetly, too sweetly, and as a matter of fact. “When did you say this Warner---”
“Wyatt---his name is Wyatt,” he muttered calmly, and while he strove to appear unshaken, he couldn’t knock off the look. “Does that mean you’re taking the job?”
Giving an innocent wide-eyed look, she nodded. “Uh-huh.”
“If you think that this job will be a stroll in the park, think again. The shift can be grueling and demanding when it wants to be.” His irritated scowl deepened. “Before saying yes, you should think about this very carefully.”
“I have thought about it. I want experience. Again, starting at the bottom is the only logical approach to this.”
“Logical?” He released a frustrated breath. “There’s nothing logical about any of this.”
“Why isn’t it logical?”
“It just isn’t. Tell me this.” His perusal was long and probing. “What do you hope to gain---a golden key to Vitali’s empire?”
“Is it so wrong that I want to better myself?” she inquired, gesturing with her hands. “Once, you told me that there were more opportunities out there than stripping.”
“I said a lot of things to you before.” A deep seriousness masked his face, and a hint of anger played on it as well. “Things that obviously held no merit or value to you.” He cleared his throat uncomfortably. “But, none of that is of any importance anymore, and you’ve more than convinced me of that.”
As she watched him, her bravado and insistence deflated.
Being around him hurt too much…
The pain was still fresh.
For the both of them…
“I’m sorry,” she said softly, staring at him over the desk. Again, the guilt weighed heavily in heart and forever would. “For everything…if I could change things and how they happened, I would.”
“But, you can’t.” Tugging on his necktie, he frowned again, and then, dropped his hand. “There’s no point in even bringing it up. For once I’m taking your advice. You told me to move on and get over it. Well, guess what, sweetheart? I am.” Leaning forward, he pressed the intercom, and then stared straight at her. Once more, his aloofness was hard to witness and bear. “Penny, would you contact Wyatt and tell him that I need to confer with him for a minute or so?” After the receptionist’s affirmative yes, he turned his attention to her again. “Alright, Wyatt will be here in a few moments. He should be able to answer any or all questions that you may have.”
Steeling herself, she said nothing more.
He really was serious about this.
Starting out in the mailroom wasn’t what she’d anticipated.
But, she had to start somewhere.
Within little time, Wyatt arrived.
After speedy introductions were made, he went about working while they conferred about the mailroom job in the small conferencing section in his office. Then, along with Wyatt, she left his office, but not before sensing his probing stare again. Though she wanted to look at him, she didn’t. Instead, she trailed faithfully behind the man and made a quiet departure.
When she was safely outside the office, she finally breathed again.
The hours passed quickly.
Surprisingly, though, she didn’t abhor the work. For the first time, as whacked and crazy as it sounded, it did seem that she was experiencing some real freedom. The fast pace and movement did keep her thoughts flowing; and the other employees were friendly and accommodating. Real people just living real lives…it was a realization that was thoughtful and pleasing. For when had she ever really lived a ‘real life’?
All in the space, she felt him...
Willingly and freely, she embraced it.
Perhaps, it was the only part of him that she’d ever have.
***
The next three weeks passed in a blur.
Unsurprisingly, the situation hadn’t bettered itself.
“Wow, man. It sucks to be you right now. I mean, talk about shocking. Bella and Vitali are live-in lovers? Damn dude, I know that threw you for one helluva loop,” Cassius muttered in an empathetic tone. Over the hum of various conversations in the place, his deep voice rumbled very heavily. “I know how hung up you are on her---”
“Was hung up on her---everything is all past tense now.” Quickly, he passed a fast glance around the area. At 11:41 pm, Jazzy J, the popular sports bar, was packed to capacity; every bar stool was taken while small crowds amassed around those who sat. But, he was still numbed to the boisterous and enthusiastic noises that bounded. Instead, like a pathetic weakling, he was wrestling with an inner turbulence, and the fact only fueled his anger. Shaking his head, he swore under his breath again. “How could I have been so stupid? It’s not like me to be fooled so easily.”
“You just got caught up in the feels, bro. That’s all. Happens to even the best of us sometimes,” Cassius said in his defense, kicking the shot glass back, and then drained the bourbon. Smacking loudly, he scoured the area as well with a quick look. “And after the last hellish weeks I’ve had myself, I’m down with your healing method.”
“Getting wasted is and always will be the go-to for bullshit. This so-called relationship between Bella and Vitali is just that.” After giving a faint laugh, he sobered quickly. “Damn it, Cassius, for the first time, I thought the odds were in my favor.” He released a tired breath. “But, I should’ve known better to even contemplate the idea of happiness or a relationship. Neither of those things have ever been a part of my orbit. Too, considering the kind of man that I am and who I am---”
“We have no call or say in who brings us into the world. The only thing that we can do is follow whatever path they’ve set before us. Some people are just fortunate to get great parents, good homes, and shit. But, on the flip side, fools like us---we’re dealt a different hand. Through the muck and mire, we find ways to survive. Are you a saint? Hell no, you’re far from it. But, you’re human. Everyone has skeletons dancing in their closet; they’re just clanging different chains.” Cassius paused t
houghtfully for a long moment. “You know what, though? Nothing makes sense. As much as I ragged on her during those weeks, there’s no disputing the fact that she had a thing for you. That much was evident the day we met at the stables. When she looked at you, she just had this look in her eyes.”
Like a fool, he embraced the statement, and the crazy hope flared in his chest again. Keeping his voice steady against his tumultuous insides, he asked. “What was in her eyes?”
“Ok, you know that I find the idea of relationships as being ridiculous. Barring the one that I share with you and Ma, I have no firm belief sense in them, especially romantic ones. Romantic relationships are a train wreck and nothing more---a complete and utter mess. Hell, you’re testimony to that fact,” Cassius quipped dryly, passing him a sideways glance. “Even so, with that being said, I recognize certain tell-tale signs of real interest. Dude, I’ve seen the way that Bella looks at you. It’s the same puppy-dog assed whipped look that you get whenever she’s around. You know it’s like the two of you are stuck in a trancelike dreamy state.” He gave a light whistle before chuckling again. “Hate to say it man, but you’re pathetic around the woman. That day you brought her out. Man, you were standing there, acting all goofy as hell---”
“Come on, man, that’s enough. You’ve made your point, alright?” he laughed good-naturedly, but quickly turned serious again. “For real, though, do you think that she felt something for me?”
“The chemistry is tight between the two of you---it’s there. You can’t manufacture shit like that, bro. Whoever said that the eyes are the window to the soul were on point; and she looks at you like you hung the moon.” Cassius cocked his head to the side before pausing thoughtfully again. “Bullshitting is not a part of my repertoire; and you know that I never do that with you, right? I call it as I see it, no matter how rosy or shitty the outcome might turn out to be. Alright, I’ll admit it. I have my misgivings about her, especially in light of what you’ve told me now. Still, though, I can’t put my finger on it---at least not yet. This set up with Vitali.” He shook his head. “There’s something that’s just not quite right about it. But, when it comes to you, dear friend…” He eyed him with total seriousness. “She’s all in man, and I firmly believe that 100%.”
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