Tangled

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Tangled Page 6

by Uc Amalu, Jr

CHAPTER SIX

  He charged at her like a deranged mad man, saliva

  forming foamy bubbles at the corner of his mouth, his

  eyes wide with rage. Desperate to evade his violent

  advance, her eyes darted anxiously from side to side

  searching for an escape route. Her hands shook furiously

  as they fumbled their way across the kitchen counter she

  was pinned against. She could feel the cold, hard surface

  of the marble under her sweaty palms. With an evil grin

  stretched wide across his face, he lunged at her again,

  mocking her, playing with her. He could see her terror,

  almost feel her fear; it excited him all the more. He took

  another swill from his beer can and charged at her a

  second time, then stood back, grinning at her again.

  Like a deer in the headlights, she was frozen to the spot.

  The lead in her legs wouldn’t allow her to flee; she was

  barely able to breathe. Under her fingers she felt the

  sharpness of a blade, it pricked her fingertips as her

  hands slid over the handle. Still fixed on the man before

  her, she seized the knife and thrust it out in front of her,

  waving it frantically, warning him to back off. He stared at

  the knife momentarily before bursting into a fit of

  laughter.

  "And just what do you intend to do with that?" he asked,

  raising the beer to his thin, dry lips.

  She tightened her grip on the knife, struggling to steady

  her trembling hands.

  "Feeling brave, are we?" he teased her, sarcasm dripping

  from his words.

  She opened her mouth, but nothing came out. With one

  more swallow, he emptied the beer can, threw it at her

  and ran in her direction, with his fists flying.

  Anna awoke, her body shuddering and drenched in sweat.

  She sat up and pulled her knees to her chin, the way she

  always did when she had that dream. For a few minutes,

  she sat there, rocking back and forth on her bed like a

  frightened child. Under the covers, she could feel her toes

  curling, and then uncurling, a ritual often performed when

  she was anxious. Inhaling deeply, she drew back as much

  air as could fill her lungs and then exhaled slowly, trying

  to release the tension and anxiety that filled her. She then

  stretched out her arms and legs and shook them. With a

  snap of her wrist, Anna threw back her covers and

  hunched over on the side of the bed, folding her arms

  across her stomach.

  That dream had always haunted her. Like a ghost from the

  past it would rise up and cut her down just when she

  thought she was safe. She had tried everything,

  medication, therapy, hypnosis, and yet nothing could free

  her from the demons of her past. Even when she married

  Ben, a man she thought would protect her, the

  nightmares continued. He too had failed her.

  Ben had never understood her, he may have tried, but he

  never quite figured out what made her tick. All she wanted

  was a little support, someone to tell her she made a

  differ-ence in the world. For a while she thought that

  becoming a Mother would be the answer, but it just never

  happened. Oh they had tried, yet all it seemed to do was

  drive an even bigger wedge between them. No matter how

  she attempted to communicate with Ben, he just seemed

  closed off from her, distant. Their marriage spiraled

  downward from there until there was nothing left between

  them.

  The only good thing that had come out of her attempts at

  healing herself was her job. Anna had been so impressed

  with her therapist that she chose the same path.

  Although her counsel-ling hadn’t been a complete

  success, it hadn’t exactly been a waste of time either. The

  insight she had gained from simply talking to people was

  amazing. She had learned to understand them, why they

  acted as they did and best of all; she knew that with the

  right words and proper encouragement, she could help

  them alter their lives. In a life ruled by dominance, she

  had learned empowerment.

  Once she had started her job, it hadn’t taken Anna long to

  realise what had been missing in her life. Pride,

  accomplishment, control. These things had all flocked to

  her in her role as a counsellor, it had changed her life in

  ways she had never dreamed possible. For so long she

  had been forced to rely on someone else to provide for

  her, take care of her, now she saw that she was capable of

  doing all of that for herself. She felt like the hungry

  caterpillar that buried itself deep within its cocoon and

  emerged as a radiant butterfly. Sure, the study had been a

  bit of a slog for her, but it had paid off in spades.

  At least that was one thing Ben had shown a slight

  interest in, he had given her the money to get up and

  running in an office of her own. Whether it was just a last

  ditch attempt he made to try and save their marriage,

  Anna wasn’t sure, but it certainly got her off on a good

  foot professionally.

  Anna rubbed her hands over her face before glancing at

  her alarm clock on the bedside table. 11.25pm. She

  reached down and grabbed the bottle of Evian from the

  floor beside her bed and took a sip. The freshness of the

  water gave rise to a calming affect and her fraying nerves

  began to retreat. Just as she gathered her thoughts and

  started to relax herself, the tele-phone let out a shrill wail,

  frightening her yet again and sending her pulse racing off

  in a wild frenzy.

  "Hello."

  "Anna, it’s me."

  "Ben, hi. It’s late, is everything okay?" She asked, her

  concern evident.

  "Oh yeah," He paused before adding, "Sorry about the

  hour. Did I wake you?"

  Anna sat further back on her bed and leaned heavily

  against her pillows.

  "No, I was up," She answered.

  "Still not sleeping?" Ben asked.

  "Actually I’m sleeping just fine of late," She lied, hoping

  she had sounded convincing. "I was sitting here going

  over some case notes, the usual exciting stuff."

  Anna knew Ben was well aware of her nocturnal habits.

  There was scarcely a night went by, when they were

  married, that she slept solidly without waking up in a cold

  sweat or trembling to the core. Whenever he had tried to

  comfort her or explore why she was so fright-ened, she

  withdrew and became hostile toward him. Ben had tried

  to penetrate her walls of secrecy; but he had never able to

  break through. Anna made sure of that. She believed that

  there were some things a husband just didn’t need to

  know about his wife. Her personal demons were just that,

  hers, and she was going to fight them on her own.

  "And how has your week been?" Ben pried, if for no other

  reason than to keep her on the line.

  "Well," She started, "I have one possible suicide and three

  up and coming divorces, not to mention the never ending

  throngs of misguided souls just searching for a direction

/>   in life." Anna took another sip of water and then began

  wrapping the tight rings of the telephone cord around her

  index finger and then untangling it again.

  "Sounds like a tough week?"

  "I’ve had worse I guess. How about you Ben, how are you?"

  The line fell silent for what felt like forever to Anna. "Ben…

  are you still there?"

  "Huh, oh yeah, I’m here," He blurted out.

  Anna knew that Ben worried that if he didn’t answer soon,

  she would hang up. She would often hang up on him,

  generally because the conversation became too awkward

  or too sensitive for her. He usually wanted to discuss their

  separation and the chance of a reunion, whereas all she

  wanted to do was lock him and their failed marriage, as

  far out of her new life as was possible. That generally

  meant she felt forced to end their calls so she didn’t have

  to go over it again. She had moved on with her life and

  had no desire to want to rehash the past. Ben, on the

  other hand, wanted desperately to try again with her. Ben

  had loved her for the past twenty odd years, Anna was

  aware of that and she knew he found it difficult to simply

  turn those feelings off.

  "Listen Anna," He began, "About the divorce… "

  "Ben, please… I don’t want to do this again," She cut him

  short.

  "No, no, no. Just hear me out," He pleaded.

  Anna sighed and said, "Make it quick Ben."

  "I was thinking that if it’s what you really want…" His voice

  began to crack.

  "Go on," Anna encouraged him.

  "Then I will sign the papers." Ben choked back his

  emotion and added, "You can pick them up from my

  solicitor tomorrow afternoon."

  Anna was speechless. For so long, Ben had been fighting

  the divorce. She was so accustomed to his resistance that

  his apparent turn around had caught her completely by

  surprise. It was the last thing she had expected to hear

  from him.

  "You will? Thank you Ben," Was all she could manage to

  say.

  "I am always here for you Anna… remember that."

  "Ben, I…" The line was disconnected before she could say

  anymore.

  She placed the receiver back onto the cradle and stared at

  it for sometime before the weight of the conversation

  dawned on her. It had never occurred to her that Ben

  would, at any stage, stop resisting the divorce, let alone

  agree to it and serve it up on a silver platter. Much to her

  surprise, this new development didn’t feel as enriching as

  she had anticipated. Anna reached for her Evian again,

  hundreds of incomprehen-sible thoughts spinning

  through her mind.

  A rush of anger suddenly coursed through her, how dare

  he tell her that he would grant the divorce? Who did he

  think he was? She would have gotten the decree anyway;

  nobody could have stopped that, least of all Ben Payne!

  Anna raised her water bottle above her head and threw it

  across the room. It hit the wall with a loud crack, spraying

  water all over the pale mauve paint and knocking a photo

  of her and Ben to the floor. She flung herself face down

  onto her bed and began to sob hysterically, once again;

  the power had been taken away from her.

 

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