by Cheryl Holt
She’d spent the afternoon with Nan and Nell, and she’d slyly peppered them with questions about routines in the mansion. They’d shared many interesting tidbits, including the fact that Stephen often enjoyed a cheroot on the verandah after supper.
When he’d returned to fetch the girls home, she’d tried to catch his eye, to indicate that they should meet, but he’d studiously ignored her blatant hints. So she had risked life and limb—and reputation—to seek him out.
The furtive trek to the manor had been dark and frightening, and she’d forced herself to make it, but it had probably been for naught. Stephen had never appeared, and she was about to give up, when above her, a door opened.
Booted strides marched across the stone patio, and suddenly, there he was, his shape outlined by a lamp glowing in a parlor. He put a cigar to his mouth, the tip glowing as he inhaled, smoke circling up above his head.
“Stephen,” she murmured. He froze, but didn’t reply, so more loudly, she repeated, “Stephen!”
Frowning, he leaned over the rail.
“Jo? Is that you?”
“Yes.”
“Are you all right? Is something amiss?”
“No, no. Could I talk to you?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Please? I’ve walked all this way.”
“Why didn’t you just knock on the front door?”
“You know why.”
“Heaven forbid that you be seen speaking with the earl’s brother.”
She refused to argue in a whisper, from ten feet away. If she could touch him, she was sure his resentment would fade and they could start over.
“Please, Stephen,” she said again.
His irritation great, he went to the steps and stomped down. Without a word, he clasped her hand and took off at a brisk pace. She stumbled after him, trying to keep up.
He guided her along the foundation of the house, ducking under windows, until they halted at a rear entrance. They descended a short set of stairs into the wine cellar.
She held very still, trembling, as he located a candle and used the tip of his cheroot to light the wick. He tossed the cigar under his heel and stamped it out, and as the flame grew, she could see rows and rows of bottles neatly stacked.
“Is this secretive enough for you?” he sneered.
“Don’t be angry.”
“I’m not angry. I’d have to care about you to be angry.”
“I need your advice. I don’t have anyone else to ask.”
“So you came to me? Why would you? A few days ago, you were very clear. You don’t wish to pursue an acquaintance. Am I deaf? Did I misunderstand?”
To her horror, her eyes filled with tears. She was sad and despairing and desperate for his counsel and friendship, but the conversation wasn’t proceeding at all as she’d planned.
She was anxious to chat with the funny, sexy, charming man who had led her off to dally in deserted barns, not this cold, furious stranger.
“If you suppose,” he said, “that a flood of tears will have any effect on me, you’re gravely mistaken.”
“Stop acting like this.”
“Like what?”
“Like you’re someone I don’t know.”
“You don’t know me, and this is not an act. You broke off our affair, and I acceded to your demand. What more is there to say? Were you expecting me to chase after you like a besotted boy?”
Yes! No! I’m so confused!
He’d erected a hard shell to keep her out, and she had to pierce through it. As he’d mentioned, it had only been a few days. How could his affection have vanished so rapidly?
It couldn’t have.
She closed the distance that separated them, and he watched her come. He was wary, unyielding, but she was determined to evoke a response.
She wrapped her arms around him and pressed her body to his. Though he pretended apathy, his cock stirred, and at feeling it, she could have wept with joy.
“How long have you been courting?” he asked.
“What?”
“Benedict Mason. How long? Were you fornicating with me while playing the shy maiden for him?”
She pulled away and scowled. “He is courting. I am not.”
“You could have fooled me.”
“It was my brother’s idea. Not mine. I haven’t a clue why Oscar proposed it or why Mr. Mason agreed. We have nothing in common, and I loathe him.”
“I saw you after church on Sunday. You didn’t look as if you loathe him.”
“I can’t be uncivil. Oscar has decreed that I submit to his attentions, so I must comply.”
“You’re such a mouse, Mrs. Merrick. How do you live with yourself?”
His disdain exhausted her. What did he know about her tribulations? What did he know about anything?
He could never imagine how difficult it was to placate Oscar or how feverishly she worked to keep him happy.
Her existence had constantly been the same, and she couldn’t envision any other life. Oscar was a bitter, cruel man, but she’d always been ruled by bitter, cruel men. The home she shared with him was no different from the one she’d shared with her father, then her husband. It was no different from the one she’d share with Mr. Mason if Oscar forced her to marry.
It was dangerous and impossible to stand up to her brother, to speak out or defend herself. She could only plod forward, praying that she would survive with her sanity intact.
Stephen Price, with his stellar career, steady income, male independence, and rich brother was in no position to chastise.
How dare he judge her!
She was sick of his contempt and resolved to push and push until he behaved in a manner more to her liking. There was a way they connected, a way he couldn’t resist.
She rose on tiptoe and touched her mouth to his. For an eternity, he was stiff as a board, fighting his attraction. She stroked her hands down his back, across his buttocks, to his loins. By the time she reached between his legs and stroked his balls, he relented in a hot torrent of need.
He grabbed her and braced her against a post, her legs around his waist. His lips never parting from hers, he managed to unbutton his trousers and raise her skirt. In a trice, he was impaled, and she cried out in pain and relief.
He thrust like a wild bull, his cock ramming into her over and over. He opened her dress and shoved at the fabric, baring her breast. As he fell to her nipple, as he sucked hard, he came in a fiery rush, his seed flooding her womb.
Then, with a furious jerk, he drew away and stood her on her feet. Their frenzied coupling had left her off balance, and she stumbled over and collapsed onto the bottom stair. He moved to the opposite wall, a palm on the rough brick, as he struggled to mediate his breathing.
Finally, he calmed and straightened. With clumsy fingers, he repaired his clothes, then spun toward her.
“What do you want from me?” He looked tormented. “You ask me to go away, so I oblige you. You start courting someone else, yet you show up here and practically ravish me. What do you want!”
“I can’t marry Mr. Mason, but Oscar is determined.”
“How is that my problem? I’m not your father. I’m not your kin. Why would you presume on me?”
“Aren’t you my friend?”
“I could have been—once—but you weren’t interested. I’m not a fool, and I won’t waste my energy on a lost cause.”
“I didn’t want you to leave me alone!” she wailed.
“You couldn’t prove it by me.”
A dozen pleas raced through her mind: Save me! Wed me yourself! Don’t let Mr. Mason have me! Fight for me! Make me your own!
But she didn’t utter any of them aloud.
“Mr. Mason doesn’t love me,” she complained.
“So? What
has love to do with matrimony?”
“I was wed previously to a brute I detested. I won’t endure such agony ever again. If I have to marry, then I insist it be to a husband who is glad to have me.”
It was the perfect overture for him to propose, and she gazed at him with beseeching eyes, but the thick oaf didn’t grasp what she was requesting. How could she get him to figure it out? Would she have to hit him alongside the head with a club?
“A few weeks ago,” he said, “when my brother initially traveled to Stafford, do you know why I came with him?”
“I assumed you were eager to see the estate.”
“No. It’s because I plan to settle at Stafford after I retire from the army.”
“Well . . . good.”
“I’m bringing my family here.”
“Your what?”
Gad! Was he married? If he was, she’d kill him, and she’d never suffer an ounce of remorse. She’d go to the gallows with a smile on her face!
“My family,” he continued, “with the exception of my brother whom I can barely abide, consists of my very illegitimate daughter.”
“You have a daughter?”
“Yes. Born out of wedlock.”
He stated the fact like a boast, as if he imagined she might swoon over the shocking news, and she had to admit that she was unnerved.
Illicit fornication was a terrible sin, but when it resulted in a baby, it was even more egregious.
“What’s her name?” Jo inquired.
“Annie.”
“Who is her mother?”
“A camp follower I scarcely knew. When I was younger, I used to rut like a dog with any trollop who would spread her legs. I like to believe that I’ve changed since then, but I guess I haven’t.”
He glared as if she belonged in the same category as his camp follower, and his derision made her feel ashamed.
“There’s no need to be crude,” she told him.
“If you don’t want to listen to my risqué stories, go home. I didn’t ask you here.”
“Where is she now?”
“Mother or daughter?”
“Both.”
“Mother died in childbirth. Daughter lives in a convent, run by the Sisters of Mercy in Antwerp, Belgium. She’s ten.”
“Do you ever see her?”
“Once or twice a year—when I can get away from my regiment.”
“What does she think of your being gone so much? Does she miss you?”
“She hardly knows me. I doubt she misses me at all.”
The cold confession wounded Jo. She stared at the floor, her fingers laced together as if in prayer.
Why was the world so unfair?
She’d been married for most of a decade. She’d spent all of that time either flat on her back as her husband pumped away between her thighs or on her knees, begging God to grant her a simple wish of one, tiny baby. Every female in the kingdom seemed able to conceive. Why not her?
She’d never gotten pregnant, and she’d grown to believe that she didn’t deserve to be a mother, that God had abandoned her.
Yet Stephen Price had been given a precious gift he neither wanted nor cherished. He had a child he never saw and had made no effort to raise. He paid others to do it for him.
What type of man didn’t want his daughter? What did such conduct indicate about his true character?
“You’re lucky,” she said.
“Am I? You know, Mrs. Merrick—”
“Don’t call me Mrs. Merrick.”
“I’d rather not be on familiar terms.”
She sighed. “Fine. Have it your way.”
“When I first visited your brother at the rectory, I had a reason.”
“What was it?”
“I’m bringing Annie here later in the summer. I’ve already written to the Mother Superior, instructing her that I’ll be sending someone to fetch her as soon as I can arrange it.”
“How will you orchestrate her entrée into Stafford society?” She posed the question more harshly than she’d intended. “Will you simply show up with her, then command that she be accepted?”
“I don’t give a damn about these rural villagers. They’ll welcome her and be gracious about it, or they’ll move on.”
“This is a very conservative place, and Oscar a very conservative preacher. It might not be as easy as you’re expecting. I’m just warning you.”
“Warning received.”
“Why did you meet with my brother?”
“I was hoping he could refer me to a kindly widow who would take her in until I can muster out of the army. After I spoke with him, I decided not to discuss it. But how about you, Josephine? Are you acquainted with any kindly widows in Stafford?”
The dig was sharp and, in a temper, she leapt to her feet. She wished she were a man, that she was strong enough to pound him into the ground.
“What are you saying? Are you asking me if I’d watch over her until you come back?”
“No.”
“Then what is your point?”
“I mention it merely because I want you to understand how disillusioned I’ve been in the sorts of people I’ve encountered here.”
“Meaning me.”
“Yes, meaning you.”
“I could do it for you,” she seethed.
“Really, Jo? You could? How? Will you march to your brother and tell him there’s a sinful little girl who would like to live in his house? Of perhaps you could take on the chore after you’ve wed Mr. Mason.” Sarcastically, he added, “I’m sure he’ll be amenable.”
“I could make them agree,” she insisted, but her fury was waning.
He nodded to the door. “Go ahead. Scurry to your brother. Inform him you can’t marry Mason because you’ll be too busy helping me with Annie.”
She tried to picture the conversation with Oscar, but couldn’t. To her great shame, she was as meek and obedient as Stephen had accused her of being. She had no notion of how to issue demands to a man, how to garner what she craved.
Oscar would never allow her to assist Annie Price. If Jo went behind his back and proceeded anyway, where would she be when Stephen returned from the army? Her job as Annie’s guardian would end, and Jo would have nowhere to go. If she defied Oscar over Annie, he would never let her come home.
At that moment, she hated herself. She felt lower than she ever had when her husband railed at her, lower than when Oscar charged her with vanity or sloth.
“You’re correct,” she submissively concurred. “I couldn’t speak to Oscar about it.”
“Precisely.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m not. My daughter has been hiding in the shadows all her life. She’s never belonged anywhere—just as I have never belonged. I’m bringing her to Stafford, and when I do, I intend to find her a mother.”
“You’re going to wed?”
“Yes, and it will be someone with a spine, someone who will be proud to be Annie’s parent. I need a woman who’s tough, who isn’t afraid of a few small-town snobs who see scandal behind every bush. My daughter deserves nothing less.”
“Too true.”
She gazed at the floor again, feeling petty and small.
Apparently, during their brief, torrid affair, he’d been judging her, but she’d failed miserably. It was humbling to realize that he might have wed her—if she’d been a different kind of person. Had she evinced the slightest hint of staunch character, he’d have proposed in an instant.
He was studying her, as if waiting for her to defend her cowardice, but she had no comment. His derogatory opinion was valid, and it was silly to argue about it.
“Will there be anything else?” he finally asked.
“No.”
“Goodbye then. I hope you’ll wish me w
ell in my travels.”
She frowned. “Are you leaving?”
“With my brother in the morning.”
“I thought you were staying for the next month, until your furlough was ended.”
“I’ve decided there’s no reason to stay.” He paused, watching her. “Is there?”
“No, I don’t suppose there is.”
He sighed, as if she’d supplied the wrong answer. What did the blasted man want? What did he expect from her? He’d been very clear. He was looking for an Amazon warrior and she was a timid mouse.
“Goodbye,” he said again.
“Goodbye.”
She started up the stairs so he wouldn’t see the tears dripping down her cheeks. She refused to give him further cause to bark and chastise.
“Would you like me to have a carriage prepared?” he called. “I could drive you home.”
“There’s no need. I can find my own way.”
She hurried out and ran to the lane. She was so distraught that she’d lost the impulse for stealth. She didn’t care if she was observed, didn’t care if she had to explain where she’d been.
Her heart broken, her humiliation vast, she kept going as fast as she was able. She didn’t stop until she was locked in her empty bedroom, in Oscar’s quiet house. Her lonely future stretched before her like the road to Hades.
“Have you seen your sister?”
The twins were sitting on the stairs, looking as glum as Nicholas felt.
“I think she’s up in her bedchamber,” Nan said.
Nicholas had just been there, but hadn’t stumbled on her. He’d been searching for her since the previous day, since she’d witnessed Veronica kissing him. He hadn’t located her, and no one else had either. Veronica had continued on to her house party, but Emeline remained in hiding.
She hadn’t come down for tea or supper. She hadn’t slept in her bed. Breakfast was over, but she hadn’t eaten.
In a few minutes, he and his brother were heading for London, but he couldn’t go until he’d spoken to her.
Over the weeks that he’d dallied with Emeline, it had been easy to pretend Veronica and his betrothal weren’t real. But in a fleet moment, her arrival had shattered the fantasy.
