I nod because why lie to him when I’m aware that’s one of my biggest fears.
With his index finger, he crosses his heart. “Never,” he promises. “I’ll hurt myself before I hurt you, June. Yesterday I was pissed because I thought you left me. That’s when I realized I need you more than my next breath. Again, don’t ask me to define this. I’m not ready. Rule number three, don’t push me away because you’re scared. Rule number four, at night I can demand anything from you.”
“Ha, in your dreams,” I say, tossing my head back and laughing at his ridiculous rule. “I thought you weren’t going to ask for anything.”
“For now, no, once you agree to be mine, I’ll be the neediest bastard in the entire universe.” His lids become heavy and his voice huskier. “I like sex, but with you it’s not just grinding bodies. Our love making is different. Your kisses linger on my lips, my body. My skin can’t forget your touch—and I need you more than words can say.”
I freeze as the flame in his eyes captivates my gaze. The promise between those words releases a wave of pleasure vibrating deep into the pit of my stomach. My heart clenches and so does my pussy.
“I want to make you mine every night for as long as you allow me.”
Breathlessly I ask, “Is that a warning or a promise?”
“It’s both, June.” He gives me a quick peck. “You like when I challenge you and I like you that way.”
Feeling dazed, elated, and turned on I suck on my lip to keep myself from asking for a taste of what’s going to happen. But really, what is he going to demand from me?
Sterling
“What is it that you want from me, June?” I ask, making my way to the kitchen and leaving a few yards of separation between us.
Every cell of my body shrills in protest. The hunger for her increases and it doesn’t matter how many times we fuck, I want more. She’s a sweet addiction I never want to give up—ever.
June stares at me. “Why did you move away?”
“I don’t think we can talk without a buffer between us. Unless, you want me to fuck you before we continue.”
She looks at me and then paces a couple of times. “Fine, talk. I’m getting mixed signals and I’m more confused about what’s happening between us.”
“Just to be clear, yesterday was one clusterfuck because we didn’t communicate. I was working hard to convince you to stay by my side and the next thing I know, you moved to the house.” I scratch my head and ask, “You should’ve told Beck or someone what was happening. They believed they had helped you move out.”
“I did move out,” she confirms. “I was hoping you’d move in with me though.”
Shoving my hands back in my pockets to keep them from trying to reach out to her, I continue. “Well, that’s what phones are for. You call me and say, hey, your crazy family is invited for dinner and I think it’s time to move into the house—together.”
“My parents are arriving today,” she argues. “What were we going to do with them?”
I shrug, trying not to smile.
“Sterling?”
“We have a guest room at the penthouse,” I remind her.
“Why would we do that? This place is bigger.”
“It’s my domain. This house is different. I’m trying to woo you and convince you that I can change.”
She smiles and shakes her head. “I don’t need you to change, Sterling Ahern.”
“But I want to be the guy you deserve.”
She presses her lips together and sighs. “Maybe I do need you to change a little. How about you start by looking at yourself and realizing you’re an amazing guy? Yeah, your reputation is terrible but the guy I’m getting to know is nothing like him.”
“Does that mean you’re giving me a chance?”
June looks at me and I start pacing around waiting for her to let me down or to finally say, let’s just go with the flow. Instead, she confuses the fuck out of me. “To be clear, I like you. I think you’re handsome, smart, and good in bed.”
“Ouch, just good?” I glare at her. “Can I just get something out of the way before you bruise my ego even more?”
She rolls her eyes. “How can I bruise it? It’s so big and—”
“I thought we were talking about my ego, not my cock,” I say playfully. “But if you bruise it, I’ll let you kiss it better.”
“As I was saying,” she continues, ignoring my smug grin. “You’re great but you’re not an ordinary guy. Yet, you’re different from other famous people. I’m confused. All I want is to be with a guy I can be sure of and will settle with me. I can give you a chance but is this a, let’s have fun together until I’m bored or … I mean, you just said you’re mine.”
I nod.
“That’s a huge commitment but yet, it doesn’t sound like you committed to anything.”
“Do you want me to commit?”
She shakes her head. “Not if you don’t want to.”
I scratch my head. What the fuck does she want from me?
“This is going to sound contradictory, but here it goes. I don’t want you to be with me because I am having your babies. I want you to be with me because of me.” She frowns and then says, “Actually, if you propose because my father and my brothers start pressuring you, it’s over between us. This has to happen because it feels right—for both of us. Not because we’re exuding desire and want to fuck like bunnies.”
I laugh. “You’re cute,” I say. “Adorable. If you weren’t too far, I’d bend you over—”
June whips her head, points her finger, and glares at me. “Say it and it’ll never happen, Ahern. My point is, we haven’t been on a date. We’re practically living together but do we know each other?”
“It seems like you’re finding excuses to avoid what I told you. As I said, I don’t need an answer, I need you to be aware of the situation.” I place my palms flat on the island and lean over, closer to her. Our eyes meet and as I hold her gaze, I repeat, “I. Belong. To. You. I’ll take whatever you give me. No, I’m not proposing. Even if your father points a gun at me.”
I’ve never felt more vulnerable in my entire life. Not even when I was a teenager fighting against my parents’ wishes.
“You confuse me.”
“You slay me, and I don’t think I have ever felt what I do for you,” I confess and lift my hand. “Don’t ask me for a definition, June, I might never give it to you. This is who I am. I’m not broken, just forged in a different way than many, and I can promise to be loyal but never to fit in your mold.”
She nods. “Let’s give a chance to whatever is happening between us,” she concludes. “So, besides our complicated relationship, what are we going to do with our spawns?”
I chuckle because the term isn’t endearing but funny. I’ve never wanted children or a family. I’ve said it enough times. Until now. Fuck if I don’t want to be with her for every step of the way. I can’t wait to see her swollen belly, carrying my babies. Listen to their heartbeat, hold them when they come into the world. I want everything with her.
“Raise them together, no matter how things progress, we’re in this together, baby,” I answer, hoping she can read between the lines because it’s obvious that me telling her that I can’t live without her was not only confusing but too much to handle.
I don’t regret setting my cards on the table. We’re meant for each other. She just has to come to terms with it.
“Can we have breakfast?”
I reach out to her and kiss her knuckles. “How about an appetizer?” I ask, wiggling my eyebrows.
“Appetizer?” Her voice quivers with need, her eyes brighten with desire.
“Do you know how much you turn me on when you wear my shirts?” I pull her closer, caging her between my arms. “Let me eat you before I feed you.”
“We shouldn’t,” she whispers.
“But we will,” I say and slant my mouth on hers.
June
It was nine o’clock before we arrived home with my
parents. Centennial Airport is only a twenty-minute drive from the house. The plan was to pick them up at four and bring them home where we’d have dinner. But just like it’s been happening in the past few weeks, nothing has worked the way I plan it.
“The house is beautiful,” Mom says as we enter. “The Christmas decorations are lovely. I think you could use a few more lights outside. Your dad could install them.”
I look at Sterling and smile because I told him just that.
The trees could use some twinkle lights and maybe we should hire someone to frame the house too. Sterling just rolls his eyes and mouths, like mother like daughter.
I shrug.
Talking about Christmas and since Jackson hacked my evening with my parents, I suggest, “Maybe you can help me convince Jackson to spend Christmas Eve here. We have plenty of room for everyone.”
She studies the place and looks at me. “It’s Caroline and Marianne’s first Christmas.”
When she mentions the twins, I know I have to get on with the program and forget my amazing idea.
“Well, next year it’s ours if we’re going to follow that protocol,” Sterling says and looks at my belly with a smile.
“Sounds like a good idea,” I agree and glance at my parents nervously but neither one says a word.
“Why don’t you follow me, Mr. and Mrs. Spearman?” Sterling says. “There’re a few features I need to show you.”
I sigh with relief. I’m not sure when we’ll speak about the big elephant. Well, I don’t look like one yet but I’m sure since I’m expecting two babies, I’ll look like one soon. Still, are we discussing my pregnancy now or not until the kids turn eighteen?
When we picked up my parents neither one mentioned the subject. I assume it was because Jackson met us at the airport. We ended up going to his house for dinner.
Dad glares at Sterling when he grabs the bags and asks them to follow him. Actually, he’s been glaring at my guy since he arrived. Okay, today isn’t a good day to talk about the babies. I follow right behind. They’re staying in the downstairs bedroom, far enough from the master suite.
Not that we’re having sex. Not until I have a clear understanding of what we mean to each other. Morning sex in the kitchen was a little slip that I won’t let happen again. I slipped because with that speech he gave me I was in a daze. It didn’t let me think much. Tonight, it is different.
Because you’re not horny now?
I admit, the desire is choking me. If I could, I’d drag him to the room and ask him to fuck me. Not that I can behave like that in front of my parents. I want them to like him.
So far, he’s been a gentleman with my parents. Not that he’s ever been rude. Actually, I had no idea what to expect from him until I saw him in action. He’s polite with Dad and charming with Mom. I continue walking behind the three of them.
“Just place your finger on the scanner,” Sterling says as he programs Dad’s fingerprints on the alarm keypads.
“Is this necessary?” Dad asks as he watches Mom while she’s following Sterling’s instructions.
“We arm the alarm around ten o’clock at night and it doesn’t disarm until six in the morning,” he says. “If you need to leave the house before or after, you have access. Also, when we leave, we turn it on.”
“This seems like a safe area, I don’t feel like this is necessary,” Dad protests.
“If you need anything, Beck and the team are available to help,” Sterling continues. “June has a security detail.”
“Is that necessary?” Dad insists, studying the house. “What are you, a drug dealer?”
“James,” Mom says his name with a warning voice.
Dad glares at Sterling. “He has more bodyguards than a diplomat.”
“He’s had stalkers parading around his property,” I explain, lying just a little because Sterling’s stalkers sound dangerous and his fans intense. Then I add, “Like Alex.”
“I don’t like this.” Dad pauses and looks at me. “I trust your judgment, but I don’t have to like it, Junie.”
“It’s been a long day,” Sterling speaks, taking my hand. “Please, make yourself at home, Mr. and Mrs. Spearman.”
“I agree, James, let’s go. Good night, Sterling. Junie.”
“Good night, Mom,” I say and walk to her open arms. Then I whisper, “Is Dad upset?”
“We’ll talk tomorrow, Junie.” She hugs me one more time and says loud enough for everyone to hear, “Just give him time, you’re his baby.”
I roll my eyes because things never change. Dad gives me a hug, kisses the top of my head, and nods toward Sterling.
“Hey, come with me,” Sterling requests, pulling me toward the office.
“What are we doing?”
“Deactivating my social media accounts,” he responds, taking his computer out of the case and setting it on top of the desk. “Should I write something on my website?”
“All of them?”
He nods once.
“After you’re done, I’ll type a news release or maybe just a quick note. Something simple and yet eloquent,” I offer. “Maybe we can add one of your life changing quotes.”
I pull out my phone and take a picture of him. “We’ll post this with something like, time to step into a new chapter.”
He smiles and kisses my cheek. “Thank you, I think that’s brilliant. Now, tell me how to win your dad because nothing I did today was good enough.”
“Stop trying so hard, he can smell bullshit,” I say, laughing. “You heard Mom, I’m his baby. Be yourself, I don’t think you realize how amazing you are, Sterling Ahern.”
“There’s nothing special about me.” He sits on the chair and pulls me into his lap. “I’m a lucky bastard, because I found you, precious girl. You’re who makes me want to be a better version of myself.”
I close my eyes when he grips my hair to the side and his mouth kisses my exposed throat. The erotic way he grazes my skin makes me gasp. He then kisses my mouth and what seemed like a sweet tender moment becomes a desperate exchange.
His hungry mouth ravishes mine. I should be pushing him away because … I can’t remember why. He kisses me again and again, telling me how much he needs me. Our chemistry doesn’t diminish, it strengthens as the days go by.
He anchors my hips against his hardness. I quiver as I beg him to fill me. “Please!”
I am overcome with desire and I sway my hips searching for release.
“June.” I hear Dad calling me. “Where is she, Ari?”
“Let me go and check what they need,” I say, rising from my seat. “We agreed to no sex, Mr. Ahern.”
He gives me a mischievous smirk. “I just do what you ask, sweetheart. Your body was asking for it.”
The next morning, I wake up early, take a shower, and get ready to face my parents. Unfortunately, I forgot to let Mom know that the bacon makes me nauseous and as I enter the kitchen my stomach contracts violently. It’s the plate of bacon and eggs on top of the counter.
I run to the powder room and barely make it on time. Seconds later, I feel Sterling’s hand rubbing my back and he places a cold compress on my neck. “Sorry, baby. I asked your mom to start the kettle.”
After the whole, washing face, brushing teeth, and taking a few deep breaths, I go back in the kitchen.
Sterling is already preparing my tea and oatmeal.
“She doesn’t like oatmeal,” Mom says.
“Surprisingly, I do now,” I correct her.
“When are you due?” Mom asks. Dad sighs.
“August first,” I answer, waiting for a congratulations or something nice. Neither one moves. “I’m having twins.”
She nods, Dad fires a question, “Where are you going to live? In case you’re interested, there are a couple of houses for sale in our neighborhood.”
“I’m not going back to Sacramento. As you’ve heard last night, I’m selling the company. Jackson and I are discussing the possible buyers later today. Colorado seems
like a nice state to raise children and they’ll have Marianne and Caroline.”
Sterling stands next to me. “I support her decisions. If she wants us to move to San Francisco, stay here in Colorado, or try another country. I’ll follow her.”
“What are your intentions with my daughter?” Dad asks and Sterling looks at me.
“Dad, not now,” I say.
“Do you understand that the lives of two children are at stake and you don’t want to talk about it? This isn’t Facebook where you can check the option of it’s complicated. I thought you were more responsible than this, Juniper. From all my children, you’re the last one I’d think would be screwing with the future of her own children.”
Sterling steps in front of me and says, “Before you judge, you should congratulate her. She’s been wanting these children for a long time and she’s finally reaching her dreams. With all due respect, sir, don’t screw up your relationship with her because of society standards. June is more ready than anyone I’ve ever met. Our relationship has nothing to do with the future of our babies. They’ll grow up loved with two loving parents. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have work to do.”
He turns around, kisses me, and leaves the house.
“What does that mean, June?” Mom asks.
I explain everything and once I’m done Dad hugs me and apologizes. “Sorry, I just don’t want to see you hurt. It’s so hard to not see you as a six-pound five-ounce baby who needs my protection.”
“Congratulations, sweetie. I’m sorry for the inquisition but I’m worried you’ve been acting so strange and haven’t confided in anyone.”
I don’t tell them Em and Hannah have been supporting me. “Look, I was going to do this one way or another. Instead of an anonymous donor, it happened with Sterling. He’s a loving man and if you give him a chance—”
“Are you two together?” Dad asks.
I shake my head. “No, I’m not ready. He’s giving me space; I hope you can respect it.”
Dad’s nostrils flare. Mom goes to his side and rubs his arm. “She’s not a little girl, James. But she needs us, and we’ll be beside her. You asked me what I wanted to do next year. I want to be with her.”
Once Upon a Holiday Page 16
