“What?” the chief asked as Jennings stared at the machine.
He turned it toward her and she shook her head. “Guess we know why you didn’t want us to take your prints, now, don’t we, Manny Henderson?”
Henry/Manny let out a string of curses, then insisted, “I didn’t kill her.”
At his words, Kensie whimpered and Colter spun, grabbing her as she swayed.
But she pushed him off, tears streaming down her cheeks as she rushed forward. She leaned around the officer who stood in her way, croaking, “You killed my sister?”
“Look, I didn’t even know Shoshana had a sister,” Henry said. “But I didn’t kill her. Someone framed me, okay? I ran because someone framed me.”
“What?” Kensie and Colter asked together.
Chief Hernandez sighed loudly. “Manny Henderson here skipped town in Kansas a decade ago after murdering Shoshana Lewis.”
“I didn’t kill her!” Manny shouted.
Ignoring him, the chief continued, “Apparently he’s been hiding out here ever since.”
Kensie dropped to the floor so fast Colter didn’t have time to move. He realized belatedly that it was a semicontrolled fall as she sat and buried her head in her hands.
“He didn’t come after me because of Alanna,” she whispered.
“Who the heck is Alanna?” Henry snapped.
From the floor, Kensie looked up at Colter and he knelt closer, ignoring the way his knee protested. “He thought I knew about the murder in Kansas. When I said I was from the Midwest...” A sob burst out, then she turned her gaze on Henry. “I was wrong. He looked so much like the guy I remember, but he had nothing to do with Alanna’s kidnapping.”
“I didn’t kidnap anyone!” Henry yelled. “And I didn’t kill anyone, either. I was—”
“Get him out of here,” Chief Hernandez demanded, pushing Henry toward Jennings, then stepping closer to Kensie.
“I’m so sorry,” she told Kensie. “But I think you’re right. You stumbled onto a fugitive. And I know I could have been more patient with you before, but the FBI really did work hard when they came up here. I don’t think the note was real.”
“I’ve been chasing a ghost,” Kensie whispered, staring into the space where Henry had been.
“I think it’s time you go home,” the chief said.
A jolt of dismay shot through Colter as Kensie’s defeated voice agreed. “I think you’re right.”
Chapter Sixteen
It was time to go home.
The very idea made Kensie want to curl up in a ball and weep. But she just gritted her teeth harder, until her jaw and her head hurt.
“Are you in pain?”
Blinking moisture away, Kensie looked up at the nurse checking her vitals. “No,” she croaked, even though speaking made her throat feel like she’d shoved sandpaper down there and was scrubbing as hard as possible. Then again, not speaking didn’t feel much better.
Apparently, her throat was so swollen the doctors had considered putting a tube in to help her breathe. But she’d fought them on it until they’d agreed to keep her under observation and on some kind of intravenous medicine for a while.
For the past few hours, she’d been here alone. Colter and Rebel had come with her in the ambulance, but they wouldn’t let the dog in the hospital no matter how much Colter argued. So finally he’d agreed to go to the police station and give his statement while doctors checked her out.
“You’re doing good, hon,” the nurse said, patting her arm and leaving the room.
Once she was gone, Kensie stared blankly into the empty room, still feeling blindsided. Henry Rollings’s claims that he hadn’t killed the woman in Kansas had been forced and full of denial. His confusion about her sister had sounded so real.
Even though he was a killer, Kensie believed him when he said he didn’t know Alanna. He’d come after her because he thought she was onto his real identity and the murder he’d committed in Kansas. She’d played right into his fears when she’d told him she was from the Midwest instead of being specific and saying Chicago.
So whoever she’d seen that day with Henry wasn’t Alanna. It couldn’t have been. It was another woman, someone who just resembled what Alanna might have looked like if she’d had the chance to grow up.
Because the truth was, Alanna had probably never gotten that chance.
Kensie knew the statistics about stranger child abductions. Her family had come to accept the truth long ago. And Kensie had been running from it ever since her parents had given in and decided to move on with their lives.
Instead of following their example, she’d chased a ghost, seeing leads where there were none because she was so desperate to undo a mistake she’d made when she was thirteen. Maybe it was time to forgive herself. Maybe it was time to let Alanna go.
The sob that burst forward made Kensie choke and gag. Her throat felt like it was closing up and her chest felt like it was on fire. A nurse ran into the room as Kensie got control of her breathing. She swiped the tears off her face and managed, “I’m okay.”
She wasn’t. But hopefully she would be.
Her parents’ wake-up call had been Flynn’s accident. Apparently she’d needed a fugitive to try and kill her to find her own wake-up call.
“Kensie?” Colter’s voice reached her from the hallway.
She stared at the open doorway and then he appeared, moving as fast as he could with his cane. Kensie closed her eyes and held out her arms.
Then his arms were around her and her head was on his chest. She squeezed her eyes more tightly closed, breathing in Colter’s scent—clean and slightly musky—and tried to relax. Because as badly as she needed a good cry, doing it would hurt too much. And she didn’t want a sedative or a tube in her throat.
Finally, he leaned back and stared down at her face, brushing hair out of her eyes. “Are you okay?”
She nodded, not wanting to speak, not even sure she could speak without losing it.
He didn’t move his arms from around her and she kept hers looped around his back. It felt right, like something she’d do with a boyfriend instead of a man she’d only known for a few days.
“I gave the police my statement, Kensie, and the reason it took me so long to get back here—besides dropping Rebel off somewhere safe—is that I talked to them about Henry.”
From the way his lips twisted up, she knew bad news was coming. She held on tighter, waiting.
“They’ve contacted police in Kansas and I asked the chief to beg for a little professional courtesy and get the station there to look into his whereabouts when your sister went missing.”
Kensie’s heart thumped madly, a brief hope, but he shook his head.
“The day Alanna disappeared, Henry Rollings was serving a one-month jail sentence for a DUI. He’s not the guy, Kensie. I’m so sorry.”
She ducked her head, pressing her face against his chest and letting the relief and disappointment roll over her in waves. Relief because Henry was a killer, but he hadn’t killed Alanna. Disappointment because, yet again, she had no real answers.
And it was time to accept that maybe she never would.
She wasn’t sure how long she stayed there, not moving, but she didn’t want to let go. Her time in Alaska was about to end and that meant leaving Colter behind.
She was falling for him more with every day. There was no question about it. But that wasn’t enough.
Not when he was too broken to move on with his life, even if he cared for her, too.
Besides, her family was waiting for her. A family who’d been scared for her to come here, who hadn’t been whole for too long but had always tried. They’d stood by each other instead of letting Alanna’s loss tear them apart. And even though she blamed herself, they’d never blamed her. Not once, even in anger, had anyone suggested it was her fault. Except for Ken
sie herself.
Leaving Desparre—leaving Colter—was the right thing to do. So why did it feel so wrong?
* * *
HE DIDN’T WANT to let her go.
Colter glanced at Kensie, sitting silently in the passenger seat of his truck, staring out the window. In the past four days, he’d come to think of it as her seat. And now she was leaving.
In the back, Rebel sat quietly beside Kensie’s suitcase. His dog had let out a low whine when Colter loaded it and he’d petted her softly. “I know, girl,” he’d whispered. “I know.”
The doctors had cleared Kensie to leave this afternoon and she’d booked a flight home tonight. In the brief time between, they’d held hands and walked the streets of Desparre without speaking. Then he’d left her at her hotel to pack while he picked up Rebel so they could both say goodbye.
He couldn’t believe he was about to drop her off at the airport and never see her again.
Stealing a glance at her, he tried to memorize her profile. The thick, glossy hair framing her face. The full lips, always tilted slightly up at the corners like she was on the verge of a smile. She was staring out the window, so he couldn’t see her eyes well, but he didn’t need to. He could picture the exact shade of light brown, like a delicious toffee. He could see the serious intensity there.
Redirecting his attention to the road ahead, Colter blew out a heavy breath. He never used to be the guy who didn’t know what to say, but since Kensie had told him she was leaving, he’d been at a complete loss for words.
He’d known it was coming eventually, of course. He even knew it was the right thing for her. But knowing it was different from watching her walk out of his life for good.
Don’t go wanted so badly to erupt from his mouth, but he squeezed his lips closed. She had a family to return to, a life to rebuild—and maybe to rethink. In the hospital, he’d seen it on her face that she was reevaluating the choices she’d made in her life. He hoped she’d keep playing the violin. Even though he knew she’d chosen the career path because of Alanna, he could see it on her face when she talked about playing: she loved it.
He’d never get to see her play. Never meet her family or walk hand in hand with her down the street in comfortable silence again.
And for the first time in a long time, he knew exactly what he wanted: her. He could picture a life with her. A home. Babies.
It was an impossible dream. But it felt good to dream again. He actually felt alive in a way he hadn’t since the moment that first shot had rung out in the desert and Rebel had slammed into him.
“Kensie—”
She turned toward him, her face full of expectation and hope.
Words about staying in touch, about making plans to see each other down the road—someday, somehow—died on his lips. She deserved more than empty promises.
What could he really offer her from 3,500 miles away? A relationship of phone calls? The burden on her to fly out to see him since he’d vowed to remain in Desparre, since the very idea of going anywhere else made his chest hurt?
She was falling for him. He’d felt it in the lingering touch of her fingers on his face as she kissed him the other night. He saw it in the way she stared at him now, with the kind of unrealistic hope she’d once shown for finding her sister.
He might not be worthy of her, but he cared enough about her to try and do what was best for her. And that was giving her a clean break. As much as it hurt, what she needed most from him now was for him to let her go.
He slowed his truck to a stop in front of the airport, unable to believe how fast the time had come. “I’m going to miss you, Kensie.”
Her mouth opened into a silent O, the hope in her gaze fading. Then she gave him a forced, trembling smile. “Thank you for helping me, Colter.”
She unbuckled her seat belt and twisted to pet Rebel, pressing her cheek briefly to his dog’s head. “I’m going to miss you, Rebel.”
Rebel whined, looking at Colter as if trying to tell him, “Make her stay, stupid.”
Everything in him ached to comply, to beg Kensie not to go, or at least to stay in touch. Instead, he gave her his own forced smile. “We’re going to miss you, Kensie.”
She threw her arms around his neck, pressed a brief kiss to his lips and then stepped out of his truck. She grabbed her luggage from the back seat and strode into the airport before he could recover.
And then she was gone.
Chapter Seventeen
How could her heart feel this full and this empty at the same time?
Kensie stared out the window at the plane pulling up to her gate. It had only been four days ago that she’d left Chicago, terrified and full of hope for what she might find in Desparre. She’d never expected to find someone like Colter. She’d never expected to lose someone like Colter.
And she’d never thought she’d be returning home without Alanna and with a total loss of hope of ever finding her. The idea of giving up on her sister made guilt gnaw at her, but it was time to move on. Colter had taught her that. If only she could have taught him the same.
She didn’t like picturing him and Rebel alone in their cabin, cloistered away from the world with only pictures of their dead brothers to sustain them. It wasn’t a way to live. She wanted so much more for him.
But she couldn’t force him to change. And she’d spent too much of her life living for someone else. It was time she started living for herself.
As much as it hurt, she had to go. For the briefest moment, she’d thought he was going to suggest they stay in touch, maybe even pursue something long-distance. If he had, if he’d felt as strongly as she did, she would have ignored her head telling her it would never work. She would have followed her heart.
But he’d simply said goodbye, so she’d tried to do the same. A clean break. It was the right thing for both of them.
She’d practically run from his truck when he stopped outside the airport. If she’d dawdled, she knew she would have broken down, or worse yet, admitted how she felt about him. And telling a guy you were falling in love with him after knowing him for four days wasn’t the best idea. Especially when you were about to leave and never talk to him again.
That wasn’t how she wanted him to remember her, as needy and heartsick. She wanted him to remember her as strong and determined. She wanted him to think of her and recall the feel of her kiss, the warmth of her smile. Not an awkward goodbye.
“Are you okay, honey?”
Kensie looked up at the elderly woman holding out a tissue to her. She took it, nodding her head and swiping at tears she hadn’t even realized she was shedding.
The woman frowned but walked away, and Kensie stiffened her shoulders. It was time to stop looking backward. Even if he didn’t know it, Colter had done so much for her. She’d always cherish him for that.
Being with him had made her look at herself differently. She’d seen herself through his eyes and it had made her want things she never even knew she was missing.
Colter had looked at her, not knowing the accomplished violinist, the steadfast volunteer for cold-case searches. He’d seen her. He’d looked at her and seen her determination and her optimism and even her stubborn side and he’d liked her for those things alone. Staring back at him, she’d realized she’d spent her whole life measuring herself by the wrong things. And suddenly, she wanted more for herself.
More than a life lived in the spaces between searching for a sister she hadn’t seen since she was a child. It wasn’t her fault Alanna was gone. The person who’d kidnapped Alanna was to blame. And maybe by not living her own life to the fullest, Kensie was doing her sister’s memory a disservice.
Alanna had only been five when she’d disappeared, but Kensie wasn’t putting a shiny fantasy on her memory. Alanna had loved Kensie for playing games with her, reading to her before sleep and for the silly humor they shared. Those
were the memories Kensie needed to keep alive, not a single moment she couldn’t change.
“Now boarding for Flight 1850 to Seattle with continuing service to Chicago. Boarding all rows, all seats.”
The announcement startled her and Kensie glanced up, realizing the plane had already off-boarded and been cleaned while she sat thinking about Colter and her life. She watched a short line of people file up to the entrance.
It felt like a lifetime since she’d been in Chicago. Closing her eyes, Kensie whispered, “Goodbye, Alanna.”
Saying the words out loud seemed to lift a weight off of her. Her breathing actually came easier, even with the lingering pain in her throat and chest.
Her trip had been a failure, but she would be forever grateful she’d come. Colter had opened up a new world for her. If only she could have done the same for him.
Standing, Kensie shouldered her travel purse and joined the last of the passengers. She’d just handed her ticket to the gate agent when a familiar voice startled her.
“Kensie! Wait!”
Her heart seemed to give an extra-hard thump as she spun toward Colter.
He was running toward her as fast as his cane would allow, and dread and hope mingled. A long-distance relationship with a man who still couldn’t move past his own grief was the wrong decision when she was finally trying to move forward. And yet, if he asked, there was no way she’d refuse.
“Colter,” she breathed, envisioning trips to Alaska, warm nights in his bed, love letters to hold them over between visits.
He slid to a stop and her heart took off, unable to believe he’d come back for her. Heck, he’d probably bought a ticket just to get in here. To ask her in person instead of over the phone.
“Yes,” she agreed before he could say anything.
The challenges of long distance didn’t matter. The fact that he wasn’t in the right place in his own life to enter into a relationship didn’t matter either. They’d make it work. If he cared about her a fraction as much as she’d started to care for him, they’d figure it out.
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