This felt personal. And important.
She did radio through to Control, however.
‘I’ll be on scene for a while longer,’ she told them. ‘I have a patient here who needs acute pain management.’
‘Is transport required?’
Kelly caught Ari’s gaze as he shook his head. Then she saw the tears rolling down Peggy’s wrinkled cheeks and the flash of something like despair in the elderly woman’s eyes.
‘Negative,’ she said. ‘I’ll let you know as soon as I’m available.’
* * *
Stacey had done everyone a favour, Ari decided as he watched the care Kelly was taking not to bruise Peggy’s hand as she slipped a needle through thin, papery skin into one of those prominent veins.
‘It’s just going to be so much quicker to give you some intravenous morphine,’ she was saying. ‘A new patch will take quite a while to be effective and even your pills will have trouble getting on top of this pain quickly now that it’s got a bit out of control. You’ve had morphine before, haven’t you?’
‘Oh, yes, lovey. Too many times now.’
‘Mum was diagnosed with ovarian cancer a few months ago,’ Ari told Kelly. ‘She’s just finished a course of chemo intended to shrink the tumour enough to have surgery, including a full hysterectomy.’ He held out the peeled-back package containing the Luer plug for Kelly to screw to the end of the cannula. He had the strips of sticky tape to secure the venous access ready as well. ‘Do you want a dressing to go on top of that?’
Kelly shook her head. ‘I won’t leave the IV in. Not if Peggy’s going to stay at home.’
‘Of course I’m going to stay at home.’ There was a fierce determination in Peggy’s voice. ‘Stacey needs me.’
‘Stacey needs more help than you or I can give her right now, Mum. Like I said last night, you’ve got to look after yourself right now. You were supposed to be admitted today and now your surgery’s going to be put back.’
‘It’s not as if it’s going to cure me. We both know that.’
‘It’s going to buy you time. Maybe more time than you think. You’ll be able to do more for Stace by being around for longer. And for all your other kids. Someone else will be landing on the doorstep before too long. They always do.’
Ari wanted her around for as long as possible as well. He wasn’t ready to lose the only woman who’d ever been a real mother to him. The only woman he’d ever completely trusted in his life.
Kelly was holding a syringe up in front of her face, having drawn up the morphine and added saline to dilute the drug. She pushed enough to make a fine spray in the air and remove any air bubbles and then took the needle off to screw the syringe to the plug port. She drew back until she could see blood in the chamber, to confirm that the cannula was still patent, and then slowly injected half the dose of morphine in the syringe.
‘You’ll might feel a bit woozy,’ she told Peggy.
‘Mmm... Feels like I’ve had a big drink of gin.’
Ari smiled. ‘That was always your favourite, wasn’t it? A gin and tonic on a Saturday night.’
‘How’s the pain now?’ Kelly asked. ‘What score would you give it if it was ten out of ten before?’
‘About five,’ Peggy said.
‘We’ll give it a few minutes and then I’ll give you the rest if you need it.’ She looked up at Ari. ‘Are you going to be home for a while?’
‘As long as I can. I’ve got a client in the early stages of labour so I’ll have to go as soon as she needs me.’
‘Ari’s a midwife,’ Peggy told Kelly. ‘Just like I was.’
‘I know.’ Kelly was smiling. ‘I met him yesterday. Bit of a coincidence, isn’t it?’
‘Did you?’ Peggy’s face had brightened considerably now that she was in less pain but she was a little drowsy. ‘Why didn’t he tell me that?’ She was smiling as her eyes drifted shut. ‘It’s about time he met a nice girl like you.’
‘It was work, Mum,’ Ari said. ‘Kelly came to help with a young woman who was having a placental abruption and needed to go to hospital. She was in a bit of trouble.’
But it had had the potential to have been more than simply a professional meeting. What would have happened if he’d turned up for that drink, like they’d arranged?
‘I’m sorry,’ he told Kelly quietly.
She was wrapping a blood pressure cuff around Peggy’s arm. ‘What for?’
‘That I didn’t make it to the pub. When I heard that Stace had turned up, I had to get home.’
‘Of course. I understand completely.’ Kelly lifted her gaze as she unhooked her stethoscope from around her neck and fitted the ear pieces.
He knew she had blue eyes. He’d noticed them yesterday as part of that classic combination with her blonde hair. He hadn’t noticed quite how dark they were, however, or was it sincerity that was adding that depth of colour? She really did understand, didn’t she?
‘I was kicking myself that I didn’t ask you for your number,’ he added. ‘I was doing something about that this morning, so I could contact you and apologise for standing you up like that.’
‘It’s okay. No big deal.’ Kelly opened the valve to deflate the cuff. ‘Blood pressure’s down a bit but the systolic’s still well over a hundred. We can top that morphine up if necessary.’ She threw a quick smile in Ari’s direction. ‘I’ve already forgiven you anyway.’
‘Just as well.’ If Kelly hadn’t turned away to reach for Peggy’s wrist, he might have got caught staring at her face for too long but who wouldn’t, with a smile like that on offer? ‘I found one of the doctors from the obstetric and neonatal flying squad but he wouldn’t give me your contact details. He said personal information was only available for team members. He also said they could do with another midwife on the team if I was interested.’
‘Oh? And are you? Interested?’
Kelly looked as if she might welcome his presence on a team she belonged to but Ari shook his head. ‘I spent time with a similar unit in Glasgow and loved it but...that’s not why I’m back in London.’
Peggy opened her eyes. ‘Ari gave up his job,’ she told Kelly. ‘Just to come back to London so he could help look after me. I told him he had to have his work as well, though. It’s lovely to have him around but I can look after myself. Besides...’ There was a twinkle in her eyes now. ‘I like hearing the work stories. Takes me right back, it does. I’d have loved to have been on one of those flying squads. You should do it, Ari. You’ve got a special gift that you should be using, instead of spending your days off looking after a sick, old lady.’
‘You’re my mum,’ Ari told her. ‘End of story. Maybe I’ll think about it after things settle down around here.’
‘And when hasn’t life been messy in this house?’ Peggy patted his hand but it was Kelly she turned to. ‘I didn’t normally take older children,’ she said. ‘But little Ari came along when he was about six or seven and I just couldn’t resist. And he just stayed and stayed. By the time he was a teenager I couldn’t have managed without him. He was the man of the house. And a...what do they call them these days? Those people who have the magic touch with babies?’
‘A baby whisperer?’ Kelly was biting her lip, as if she was really amused.
‘That’s the one.’ Peggy was smiling now. ‘Poor wee Stacey was only a few weeks old and she was still going through withdrawal when she came here. Her mum was an addict. Never heard a baby cry so much.’ She turned her gaze back to Ari. ‘She was hard work, wasn’t she, love?’
‘Still is,’ Ari murmured. ‘I need to go and talk to her. I’m expecting a call back from her case worker at Social Services. We’ll be making a plan.’
‘She doesn’t need a plan. She can stay here until she has the baby.’
‘With all your drugs in the house? When she’s only been clean for a few months, if t
hat?’ Ari shook his head. ‘And I heard what she said to you before. That’s not the kind of thing you should have to put up with.’
Kelly obviously agreed with him, judging by the look on her face. Yeah... He already knew that she knew how damaging cruel words could be. Ari could feel a beat of that pull towards Kelly that he’d been so aware of yesterday. That vulnerability hiding beneath such a strong exterior that he wanted to know more about.
‘She’s upset,’ Peggy said softly. ‘She came here needing help and found that I was one who’s needing help now. She’s cross, that’s all. She’s only seventeen, remember. And she’s got some big decisions to make about that baby or hers.’ Trying to sit up, Peggy visibly winced.
‘You’re still pretty sore, aren’t you?’ Kelly glanced at her watch. ‘I’m going to give you the rest of this morphine. If you’re still in too much pain in another ten minutes, it might be worth considering a trip to hospital to really get on top of it.’
Ari nodded. ‘They might even let you keep your surgery slot. The sooner you have that done, the less likely you are to even have this level of pain.’
But Peggy shook her head firmly. ‘I’m not going anywhere,’ she said. ‘Not while Stacey needs me.’
‘You know what?’ Ari sighed. ‘You’re stubborn, that’s what you are.’
‘Look who’s talking. Tell you what, Ari. You go and sign up for that flying squad so you can do something you’d love and I’ll go and have that operation.’
‘You mean that?’
Peggy nodded. ‘I’ll have Stacey here to help look after me when I get out.’
Ari saw the way Kelly’s eyes widened at that suggestion but he’d learned long ago that Peggy’s instincts were usually correct.
‘Okay...how’s the pain now?’ Kelly asked.
‘So much better. I can move.’ Peggy sat up to demonstrate. ‘I don’t need to go to hospital.’ She looked up at Ari. ‘So, is it a deal?’
‘Is what a deal?’
‘You join the flying squad and I’ll go and have that operation as soon as they give me a new date.’
‘It’s a deal.’ Ari would work out how to care for Peggy if Stacey wasn’t around by then.
It was Kelly’s hand that Peggy patted this time. ‘He would have joined anyway,’ she said in a stage whisper. ‘That way, he gets a chance to get to know you properly. You’re just the sort of girl who’d be perfect for my Ari.’
Kelly made a slightly strangled sound but then cleared her throat. ‘Let me take this IV out, Peggy. And then you’ll need to press on it firmly for a few minutes to stop any bleeding. I’m going to have to get back to work now.’
There was a pink flush to Kelly’s cheeks that hadn’t been there a minute ago. And it felt like she was avoiding looking at him but Ari didn’t get the feeling that she was too embarrassed by Peggy’s comments. If she had been, she wouldn’t have paused when he was seeing her to the door a couple of minutes later. And she certainly wouldn’t have offered to give him her phone number.
‘In case you do sign up for the squad,’ she said. ‘I can give you a few tips on how it all works.’
‘I’ll have to sign up now, won’t I?’ Ari opened his phone to input the number. ‘Once Peggy’s settled on a bargaining chip, she’s not likely to give it up before she gets what she wants.’
Kelly’s smile lit up her face when she finished giving him the number. ‘She’s a bit of a character, your mum.’
Ari’s smile felt a little wobbly round the edges. ‘She’s the best.’
Kelly lowered her voice as she glanced at the bedroom door behind him. ‘Good luck,’ she murmured. ‘I could also steer you in the direction of some organisations that might be able to help if you need support.’
It sounded like Kelly actually wanted him to call her. Was the fact that they could be considered professional rather than personal reasons just a disguise? Ari wasn’t blind. He could see that flicker of interest in her eyes. Or maybe he was feeling that connection getting stronger between them. So strong, it was tempting to keep following Kelly towards the front door, just so he could keep her in sight a little longer. But the tiny sound from the bedroom behind him reminded Ari of exactly why he couldn’t do that.
‘Thanks,’ he said. ‘I’ll keep that in mind. See you around, Kelly.’
He turned back then, and kept moving till he was beside the shapeless lump that was Stacey bundled beneath the duvet.
‘Okay, Stace. Are you going to tell me why you’re acting up? Is Mum right? Are you angry that she’s not well enough to look after you?’
‘It’s not that she’s “not well”.’ Spiky red hair appeared above huge brown eyes. ‘She’s dying, Ari. And that means I don’t have anybody.’ She burst into tears as Ari sat on the bed beside her and wrapped his arms around her.
‘I know,’ he said. ‘It’s horrible. And it’s hard. But she needs our help, Stace. And, hey...you’ve got me, haven’t you? I’m not nobody.’
He’d felt like it once, though, hadn’t he? When he’d been a small boy that nobody wanted. When the world had seemed huge and terrifying and he’d been deemed worthless. Until Peggy had wrapped her arms around him, like he was doing for Stacey right now. Until he’d had the love and support that meant he could find his place in the world and follow his passion for helping others in the same way he’d been helped.
It was a foster sister who was half his age that he was focusing on at this moment but he couldn’t quite dismiss that thought that was insisting on lingering at the back of his head.
Who loved Kelly enough to provide that kind of support? He had to wonder if she even had anybody at all, if verbal abuse from an ex-partner could make her shrink into herself as if she’d been physically assaulted. At the very least, surely that was something he should find out? Something he needed to find out to give himself some peace of mind. Because nobody should ever be left alone like that, even if it was their choice to keep their secrets and push others away.
Sometimes, just knowing that someone else understood—that you weren’t alone—could be enough. And there was no excuse not to find the time to do that.
CHAPTER FOUR
THE SMALL SEMINAR room in Kensington Hospital’s maternity wing was full of new faces, which was only to be expected when this was an introductory meeting for volunteers who wanted to be involved with the obstetric and neonatal flying squad service. Kelly recognised a few of them. One was someone she’d worked with at her last ambulance station and another was an emergency department nurse.
And then, of course, there was Ari, who was following through with his promise to his foster mother. Kelly could just imagine the smile on Peggy’s face when he’d told her where he was going this evening. She had probably had a very similar smile on her own face when she’d seen him walk through the door because seeing him again just made her feel good. Happy... He was now sitting in the top row of this tiered room, whilst Kelly was down at the front with an obstetric consultant, Phillip Jones, who had just introduced himself.
‘Kensington Hospital has the distinction of being one of the first hospitals south of the Scottish border to form and maintain an obstetric flying squad to provide emergency back-up to GPs, ambulances and midwives.’
Kelly’s glance shifted back to the only midwife she knew to be in the audience this evening. It had been nearly a week since the call that, in retrospect, may well have changed her life. If she hadn’t met Ari again under those very particular circumstances, she would probably have never spoken to him again. She might have dismissed him, like pretty much every man she’d met in the last couple of years, as being untrustworthy and to be avoided at all costs. Not only had she been deeply touched by the closeness of his relationship with Peggy, she’d done something that would have been unthinkable even a week or two ago. She’d given her phone number to a man she’d only just met. She’d even given him a
reason to contact her and Ari had done just that, messaging her only a couple of days later.
What do I need to know about signing up for the flying squad?
Your timing is perfect. There’s going to be an introductory session for new team members on Thursday night if you’re free.
I’ll do my best to be there.
His best obviously hadn’t been sabotaged by any domestic crisis this time and it was a little disturbing how Kelly’s heart had lifted at the sight of him arriving. Her breath had actually caught in her throat when he’d smiled at her. Even now, having had time to give herself a small lecture about the dangers of trusting anyone too much or too fast, finding him watching her so that their gazes caught for a heartbeat was enough to give her a tiny ripple of sensation deep in her abdomen.
Attraction...that’s what it was. Mixed with perhaps more than a dollop of hope...
‘Our ambulance service does an amazing job...’ Phillip gestured towards Kelly, who tilted her head in acknowledgment of the compliment ‘...but, like a specialist trauma retrieval team, our purpose is manage serious emergencies on scene and to stabilise both the mother and baby so that they can be safely transported to a hospital such as Kensington that is equipped with adult, neonatal and paediatric intensive care facilities. Because we are a leading tertiary centre in this field, our flying squad is also used as a retrieval service to transport premature or sick babies from other hospitals.’
Kelly had heard all this before. Many times, in fact, so it was no wonder that her attention was slipping a little. Had Peggy been given a new date for her surgery? And what about Stacey? Had she had some antenatal assessment? How far along was she in her pregnancy? Was she still in that big old house with Peggy and Ari? What was going to happen after her baby was born?
So many questions and they barely scratched the surface of what Kelly wanted to know because the answers wouldn’t tell her anything more about Ari. Why had he had to go into foster care in the first place? How had he turned out to be as caring and gentle as he obviously was when a lot of children with a similar start in life ended up going in a completely different and destructive direction?
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