And...there it was. Still smiling, Kelly moved to get on with the task of making a pot of tea. Peggy’s attention was on Stacey now as the teenager went straight towards her, clearly eager to tell her about the class visit, so the opportunity to agree with her about how those dark edges drew the squares of a blanket together had passed. But Kelly couldn’t have agreed more. She caught Ari’s gaze again, briefly, on her way to putting the kettle on. Having him back home with Peggy and Stacey and having herself included in this family group had brought things together as well. And it did feel perfect. For now, at least.
And, okay...she knew that it probably wasn’t going to go anywhere. Ari was only planning to be in London for as long as Peggy needed him and he didn’t do long-term relationships anyway but...but when he made love to her, it felt like there was a lot more to it than simply sex. That maybe Ari was falling in love with her even if he didn’t realise it himself or believe that it was something that could last.
The voices behind her were just a background murmur.
‘You should have seen Stace at the play centre, Ma. She’s a natural. I’ve got a photo of her with a bunch of the kids. I’m going to print it out and put it on the corkboard.’
‘They told us there are certificates you can get to be a childcare worker. I reckon I could do that one day.’
‘Of course you could, lovey. We’ll find out about it, shall we?’
With the kettle full, Kelly flicked the switch to boil the water and opened a cupboard to find cups and saucers. She felt her breath escaping in a long sigh. No matter how perfect things felt right now, she wasn’t sure she herself believed that what she and Ari had found together was going to last. What was that saying? Oh, yeah... If something seemed too good to be true, it probably was...
* * *
This was shaping up to be a really good day, Ari decided as he cleared up the cups and plates from their afternoon tea.
Peggy was looking the best she had since she’d been discharged from hospital. Better than she’d looked since he’d come back to London, that was for sure. Maybe the surgery she had gone through was going to buy enough time for her to not only see Stacey’s baby arrive but to know that the young mother was going to be okay and have a future to look forward to, even if Peggy wasn’t here to support and encourage her.
Even better than the positive things happening at home was the fact that Kelly was visiting this afternoon. Ari had loved this house for almost as long as he could remember. When he’d finally learned that he was safe here, there was nothing he’d loved more than coming through that red front door, knowing that he belonged here. That it was home. And Kelly somehow just fitted right in as if she belonged here, too. It had, in fact, seemed like that even the first time she’d stepped through that red door and she’d been so gentle and caring in the way she’d treated Peggy.
His mum...
She’d been here since then, of course, for that dinner that Peggy had insisted he invite her to. Right now, she was sitting on a footstool beside the couch and the glow of her blonde hair was almost touching the silver of Peggy’s curls as they bent over something they were doing with those knitted squares that Kelly was so proud of. Her hair was loose again today and Ari’s fingers itched to lace themselves through those waves. The way he had that first time he’d kissed her.
For a second, his breath caught in his chest as his body reminded him of what it was like to kiss Kelly. Had he really believed that it was ever going to be “just a kiss”? How could any man have resisted the overpowering urge to go further when it was like nothing he’d ever experienced before and the invitation had been there so clearly it had felt like he was responding to a need more than simply a desire.
Maybe it had been a need on both sides. To remind Kelly to believe in herself and that she deserved everything she wanted in her future, and for him perhaps it had been a release that he hadn’t realised he’d needed so badly. He’d come to London because his beloved foster mother was dying and the prospect of a life ending was a background sadness to everything else that was happening. Making love with Kelly had reminded him that life was for living as well. That there was magic to be found in not being alone sometimes.
Maybe the feeling that Kelly belonged here, in this house, wasn’t because she’d been here before or because she got on so well with Peggy. Maybe it was because she actually belonged with him...
The longing that came with that idea was disturbing enough to make Ari abandon the washing up and head out of the kitchen to give himself a bit of space. He had a good reason to go, anyway, because he’d told Peggy he was going to print off the nice photo of Stacey with the toddlers at the play centre. He went into an office where he could download the photos from his phone to the printer but the task wasn’t complex enough to distract him completely. He could actually feel an internal battle kicking off.
He wanted to believe that he could find someone like Kelly and imagine a perfect future where he had his own house and a family to come home to every day. But he knew that reality could be very, very different and he’d learned long ago that it was safer to assume that good things never lasted because then you wouldn’t get crushed when they ended. The lessons learned in how to protect himself—and others—were so deeply engrained they felt like they were part of his DNA so it was quite possible that he would never be able to make himself vulnerable by trusting someone else with something as important as his own future. His own heart.
But the longing was there, wasn’t it?
And the strength of it was a warning all by itself.
Holding the printed photo in his hand was a tangible reminder of the reasons he was here in the first place. For Peggy and, because she was so anxious about Stacey, it was of the greatest importance to do whatever he could to sort things for his foster sister as well. They had to be his priority, which made it easy to push aside any wants or needs that were purely personal. And that was a relief because it meant that he didn’t have to think about it any more, which only stirred up stuff that was better left back in a past that was so distant it was irrelevant.
‘Hey Stace...’ He paused by her bedroom door because he could see her feet, which meant she was lounging on her bed. ‘Want to see the photo again? It’s a belter.’
‘Maybe later.’
Something in her tone made Ari pause and peer around the edge of her door. In her favourite purple dungarees, she still didn’t look hugely pregnant, especially when she was curled up like that, leaning back on her pillows as she stared at her phone, texting rapidly.
‘Everything okay?’
‘Yeah...’ The tone was aggressive. ‘Why wouldn’t it be?’
Ari backed off so as not to antagonise Stacey any further but he knew he was frowning as he entered the kitchen again. Something was going on there and his instinct told him he might not like what it was.
Peggy was delighted to see the photo. So was Kelly.
‘She looks so happy,’ Kelly said.
‘I think it would be brilliant if she could work with children.’ Peggy nodded. ‘I’d forgotten how good she used to be with the littlies, like Ari was. She might even want to become a teacher one day. I’ll have to see if she could catch up on her GSCEs at night school or something—while I’m around to help look after the baby.’
Both Ari and Kelly made encouraging murmurs but she caught his gaze for a heartbeat. Peggy’s surgeon had been very pleased with how her surgery had gone and her oncologist had said they could hope for a better quality of life but nobody wanted to say how long Peggy might still have and, unless a small miracle got pulled out of the bag, it was possible it wasn’t going to be more than a few months.
‘I’ll put it on the corkboard.’
Kelly followed him, carrying a teacup that had he’d forgotten to collect earlier. ‘I should probably head home. I think I’ve got the hang of crochet enough to be going on with
.’
‘No, no...’ Peggy shook her head. ‘Stay for dinner. We’d love to have you. If you don’t mind leftovers, that is.’
‘I don’t want to make any more work for anybody,’ Kelly said firmly. ‘And I’ve got some work to catch up on.’ She paused to look at the corkboard as she went past. ‘Oh, my God... Is that you, Ari?’
‘Yeah... I know. But dreadlocks seemed cool at the time. To be fair, I was only seventeen.’
Kelly’s grin faded as she looked up. ‘And is that baby you’re holding Stacey?’
‘I guess it must be.’
‘It was indeed,’ Peggy said. ‘It was when she started pulling on those awful dreadlocks that he decided it was time to cut them off—and thank goodness for that.’
Kelly was smiling again, holding his gaze, and Ari could see so much in those gorgeous blue eyes. An appreciation for his love of babies and respect for him going against convention and devoting his career to the most vulnerable people out there, perhaps? No...it was something deeper than that. Something about how she felt when he was holding her? Whatever it was, it was touching something very deep in his own chest and...and it almost hurt. It also made it very hard to break that eye contact. He might still be sinking into that astonishing blueness if Peggy hadn’t cleared her throat from the other side of the room.
‘So...’ There was amusement in her voice. ‘That’s how it is now for you two...’
It was actually more than amusement that Ari could hear coating her words. More than satisfaction that something she’d been angling for had finally happened. It was...it was joy, wasn’t it? A deep, genuine happiness, as if she’d been gifted something that she’d set her heart on a long time ago and that was about the best thing Ari could have wished for Peggy to have in her life right now. And to be able to keep for as long as possible.
He couldn’t tell her that the new closeness between himself and Kelly was only a temporary thing and it would never be a part of his long-term future. Peggy didn’t need to know that. It would be far better if she could spend whatever time she had left on earth believing that he had someone as amazing as Kelly Reynolds to share his life with. That he had the prospect of his own family and happiness in his future.
Kelly had been startled into pretending that she was really focused on looking at some of the other photos on the corkboard but there were spots of colour on her cheeks that revealed her understanding of everything Peggy had expressed in just a few words. And when her gaze slipped back to his, as he pinned the new photo in place, he could see that she understood what he had been thinking as well.
At that moment, it appeared that a silent pact was being made. They weren’t going to say or do anything that might undermine Peggy’s happiness. As far as they were both concerned, they could keep up the appearance of being in a committed relationship for as long as necessary to spare Peggy any disappointment. It was a welcome agreement because it gave them permission to let them carry on with their new, intimate connection.
It also gave Ari the confidence that everything was going to be okay. That Kelly understood that there were no promises of forever. That it was Peggy who’d brought them together and, when she was gone, that bond would also most likely evaporate. There was relief for Ari as well. He didn’t have to rake over his past or emotions. He wasn’t falling in love with Kelly and she wasn’t going to get dependent on him or ask for anything more than he was able to give.
What they had going on at the moment was just...well, it was just what it was. Something that they both needed at this point in their lives. Kelly because she was on the way to believing in herself and maybe for him this was just a part of what he’d always been drawn to do—to make the vulnerable feel protected. Safe. To give them the gift of having hope for the future.
And if it came with the bonus of mind-blowingly amazing sex?
It was Ari’s turn to clear his throat. Peggy certainly didn’t need to know anything about that but it was a worry that she had seen so much already by simply witnessing a look between them. Was she seeing rather too much or was it too easy to see because there was more there than Ari was aware of?
Whatever Peggy was thinking now, however, was hidden beneath a carefully casual demeanour as she packed Kelly’s squares, some new balls of wool and a crochet hook into a bag.
‘Did you drive here today, lovey?’
‘No, I caught the bus. So much easier than fighting late-afternoon London traffic.’
Peggy smiled. ‘There’ll be queues at the bus stops now, though, with people heading home from work. Ari—why don’t you take Kelly home on that bike of yours?’
Ari almost shook his head. The suggestion was about as subtle as when Peggy had suggested he invite Kelly home for dinner that time. It was kind of funny now that he’d been so determined not to pass on that invitation because he hadn’t wanted to complicate his life any more. Fate had had other ideas, hadn’t she?
‘It might take a while, even when I can get through most traffic on a bike,’ Ari warned. ‘It might be past your dinner and bedtime when I get back.’
Peggy was still smiling. ‘That’s perfect. I want a chance to talk to Stacey about a few things and we can do that over dinner—woman to woman. Then we can have a look on the internet and make a plan about how she could get the qualifications she would need for a job working with children. I don’t want her to lose that dream.’
Ari found himself nodding slowly. It would be a very positive thing for Stacey to see something more in her future than being a teenage mother and, given the way she was inclined to push him away at times, like she had only minutes ago, a one-to-one talk with Peggy might achieve more. Peggy certainly seemed pleased with his agreement. Was it his imagination or did he also see her give him the ghost of a wink?
‘I won’t expect you back anytime soon, love,’ she said serenely. ‘London traffic is just terrible these days, isn’t it?’
* * *
This was about Peggy’s seal of approval that Kelly’s friendship with Ari had become something more significant. There was a twinkle in her eyes when she kissed Kelly goodbye that made her realise she was only just getting to know a woman who had an endless capacity for living life to the fullest and trying to make it better for others at the same time. How lucky had she been to meet Peggy? And how easy was it to love her this much?
They got through the late afternoon traffic with ease as Ari slipped past the queued cars, trucks and buses at congested intersections. Pressed against his body, Kelly could feel every ripple of his muscles as he tilted even slightly in one direction and then the other and how her own body picked up those ripples and intensified them. She could have just handed Ari her helmet to put in the pannier of his bike and then gone into her basement flat alone but she caught his gaze as she stood beside him to pull the helmet from her head.
Her body was still buzzing from the contact they’d had even through their clothing and there was no way she was going into her flat alone if there was another option. Not just because Peggy had practically asked for time to be alone with Stacey but because the pull between them had just ignited something too powerful to even think about fighting.
They were down the steps even before Ari had pulled his helmet off properly and it was being dropped on the floor as Kelly turned—so quickly that she was already pressed against the solid warmth of his body. The flames of desire that were being fanned kicked up to a white heat as Ari cupped Kelly’s face in his hands and covered her lips with his own.
She heard the front door slam shut and realised that Ari must have shoved it with his foot and then Kelly forgot about anything other than the touch of Ari’s lips and his tongue and that those clever hands were slipping down her neck to her shoulders and beneath her clothing to find that deliciously sensitive, soft skin at the top of her breasts. Nothing else was going to enter her consciousness for quite some time and that was just perfe
ct. The sound Kelly made as Ari scooped her into his arms to carry her to her bed was one of absolute pleasure. Ecstasy, even...
* * *
Ripples of that bliss were still trickling through Kelly’s body much later, as she stayed within the circle of Ari’s arms, her face against the side of his chest where she could hear his heartbeat and feel his breathing finally settling to a normal range.
‘Thank goodness for that bad London traffic,’ she murmured.
The rumble of sound from Ari was amused. And full of fondness. ‘She’s a character, isn’t she?’
‘She’s wonderful. I love her to bits.’ The beat of sadness was enough to bring tears to Kelly’s eyes. ‘I hope... I hope I get a lot more time to get to know her better.’
Ari’s arm tightened around her before relaxing slowly. ‘It’s impossible to say. Like a lot of stuff in life, we need to make the most of it while we have it.’
‘Mmm...’ Kelly had to swallow hard. He wasn’t just talking about losing Peggy, was he? Was he warning her that times like this were also something they needed to make the most of because they weren’t going to last very long?
The silence hung there as if they were both thinking the same thing. It was Ari who broke it.
‘You’re amazing, Kel,’ he said softly. ‘Don’t let anyone ever make you believe that isn’t true. Ever. Okay? Don’t ever think you’re not special enough to deserve the best because you are. You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met.’
The knot forming in her belly wasn’t renewed desire. It was more like tension. Fear, even, that Ari was about to tell her their time together was already over? But she could feel herself smiling at the same time.
‘I think you’ve got the gift of making any woman feel special,’ she murmured. It was so true. His touch could be gentle enough to feel reverent but then it could change into something that was so passionate you could believe it was what he was feeling and tasting that was inspiring it. And then, when you threw away any inhibitions to respond in ways you’d never imagined, he was with you all the way—encouraging that response. Revelling in it...
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