by Kyra Quinn
Remiel’s face flashed through my mind. My stomach twisted as I forced a nod. “We have to at least try to close it. It may not stop Zanox, but it should at least slow him down.”
Viktor shook his head. “We come back for it later. Aster doesn’t have her stave, or anywhere near enough blood to complete the spell. We need to get her back to Carramar and tend to her injuries.”
“I can heal her—”
Aster reached for my arm. “Let your powers rest. You’ve done enough to save me today.”
“Can I at least fly you back to Carramar?”
Aster’s face paled. She shook her head so fast I thought it might snap from her shoulders. “My legs still work. Come on. Let’s head home.”
As much as I wanted to curl up in a ball and sleep off my headache, no money in our pockets and Aster’s apparent fear of heights left us no choice but to travel by foot. We hiked for an eternity. Every few minutes Viktor grumbled how much faster he could reach the city in wolf form. I tried not to point out how awkward his nudity made conversation. By the time we reached Carramar, it amazed me I’d restrained from strangling him.
“This was supposed to be it.” Aster sighed as we stood outside the iron gate encircling her home. “This was supposed to be the part where we give this piece of shit to Osius in exchange for the key to salvation.”
Viktor reached over and gave Aster’s shoulder a squeeze. “Zanox is tricky. But it isn’t over yet. We may have lost the battle, but we will emerge victorious from the war.”
* * *
I found Aster on the floor of her bedroom with her face buried inside of a dusty book. She didn’t look up as I entered the room, her attention engrossed in the text. Dark circles rimmed her eyes. Though I’d healed the worst of her injuries, angry purple and gray bruises still adorned her skin.
I forced a smile and leaned against the doorway. “How’s it coming?”
“It’s not.” Aster slammed the book closed with a heavy sigh. She tossed it on the floor next to her with a thud. “There’s nothing useful in any of these stupid texts. I’ve looked for spells to seal the veil, spells to kill Zanox or Daeva, spells to shield Astryae from the incoming damage of the war...nothing. I’ve found nothing on any of it, Lili.”
The frantic look in her eyes made my heart sink. I reached down to help her up from the floor. “Why don’t we call it a night for now? We can try again tomorrow with fresh eyes.”
Aster didn’t look happy about the suggestion, but she reached up and allowed me to pull her to her feet. She winced as she moved. Her features twisted with pain.
“You sure you don’t want me to heal you more?” I offered, hopeful common sense might outweigh her stubbornness.
Luck wasn’t on my side. Aster shook her head. “I deserve this. Please, leave me my pain.”
I didn’t understand it, but I nodded. “Have you figured out what to do about a new stave?”
“Not yet. I sent a raven to Morrigan, but I’ve no idea if it has reached her yet,” she admitted as we made our way downstairs. “In my defense, I have a lot on my plate to research at the moment.”
“A raven?” I cocked my head and tried to hide my disappointment. “Is there no communication spell or something?”
Aster sighed. “My stock is low. I don’t have the ingredients to summon anyone, and my powers are too weak to call on our telepathic link. Old-fashioned communication is underwhelming, but it’s the best I have now.”
“Hey, can we open this?” Viktor appeared at the foot of the stairs, a sea green bottle clutched in his hand. A pair of loose trousers hugged his hips. A borrowed olive sweater hugged his broad chest. “I need something stiff to drink, and I don’t feel like going into town.”
A smirk pulled at Aster’s lips. “Only if you pour us a glass. I’ve never agreed with you more.”
I didn’t see how getting wasted would help us prepare to face Daeva or Zanox again. But I held my tongue as Viktor scampered off to prepare the drinks. The house had felt tense since the moment we returned to Carramar. I resigned myself to taking my own advice and swallowed my protests. Perhaps a night of rest was what we all needed to rejuvenate our broken spirits.
“I still can’t figure out how he pulled it off.” Aster slid into the sofa in the den. “It has to be some sort of shape-shifting powers unique to the gods.”
My chest tightened at the mention of Zanox. Despite all the stories I’d heard, nothing prepared me for an encounter with my inherited stepfather.
“I still can’t explain why he didn’t even try to kill us. That troubles me the most.” I slumped down next to her, the words heavy on my tongue. “Daeva said he’s the one who wants my head on a pike.”
Aster snorted. “No offense, but I wouldn’t take your mother’s word as gospel. Honesty doesn’t strike me as her top priority.”
I fiddled with my thumbs, my head bowed towards my lap. “It’s funny. I spent most of my life envious of all the children who had mothers still alive. I guess it’s proof I should be careful what I wish for.”
Aster reached over to squeeze my thigh as Viktor strolled into the room. He clutched three glasses of mulberry liquid close to his chest. He hummed as he doled out the drinks and sank onto the floor in front of us.
“I don’t see what you need a flimsy pole for.” Viktor took a swig from his glass. “You handled yourself well with the sword.”
Aster laughed, her drink spilling over the edge of her glass. “Maybe, but I don’t think it’s wise to continue to fight with weapons forged by the God of Chaos himself.”
“They make other swords.” Viktor shrugged. “If Zanox is to be believed, our problems are only getting started.”
A chill ran down my spine. I took a generous gulp from my drink and tried to banish the memory of my stepfather’s words. As much as I wanted to reject anything related to the Shadowrealm, all signs pointed towards Astryae being on a collision course with danger.
Three glasses of ambrosia later, the tension in the room eased. Aster’s cheeks were flushed with spirits as she circled the rim of her glass with her index finger. Viktor pulled his knees to his chest and stared into the fireplace, flames dancing in his eyes.
“It’s getting late.” Aster yawned as she stretched. Her words slurred as she added, “Thank you guys for staying up with me. I know it’s silly, but I didn’t want to be alone tonight.”
My throat tightened as I placed a hand on her knee and squeezed. Words failed me, but I understood what Aster meant. As broken as I felt after the last couple of days, and as much as thoughts of the future filled me with anxiety, at least I wasn’t alone. If it weren’t for Aster and Viktor, my mother’s darkness might have consumed me.
“Are you off to bed?” Viktor asked, his voice slow and smooth.
Aster glanced towards her closed bedroom door. “I should try to sleep. The booze has run out, and so has my ability to think straight. Hopefully we hear something from Morrigan come morning.”
Viktor nodded. “Sleep well. I think I’ll stay by the fire until it burns out.”
“As you wish.” Aster turned. “Are you staying here tonight?”
“May I?” I hated to ask any more of Aster than she’d already done, but I didn’t have much choice. My pockets were as empty as when we’d left Carramar, and I had had little time to figure out a new place to live amid dealing with my mother.
“The couch is all yours.” Aster flashed me a warm smile as she rose to her feet. She waved a hand over her shoulder as she sashayed towards the stairs, somehow graceful even in her drunken haze. “Until the morrow.”
“Until the morrow,” Viktor whispered in return, his eyes still on her back as she disappeared up the stairs.
The tone of Viktor’s voice tightened my chest. My stomach turned to knots as I sank lower into the couch. It made perfect sense for him to like her. Every man liked Aster. Her beauty aside, she was intelligent and courageous in ways I could only hope to learn. Any man would consider himself lucky
to have a woman like Aster on his arm. How could I hope to compare?
“More?” Viktor asked, his attention returned.
I hid my face as I shook my head. “I shouldn’t. My head is buzzing. But thank you.”
But Viktor either didn’t hear me or didn’t care, already busy refilling our cups. “You’ve been quiet tonight. Everything okay?”
My face burned with heat. With Aster in the room, I thought no one noticed my lack of participation. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just listening, I guess. There’s a lot on my mind.”
Viktor gave a somber nod as he passed me the drink. “I can relate. Sometimes I still hear Remiel’s voice in the back of my head. I don’t even want to think about what that beast is doing to him.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, both aware of how pointless it was but unable to offer anything more constructive. “I miss him, too.”
“Want to come and sit over here?” Viktor patted the floor next to him. “It’s warmer by the fire.”
My body already burned hotter than the fireplace, but I didn’t tell him so. I rose from the couch and staggered over to the floor where he sat, my movements staggered and clumsy. By the time I sank down next to him, Viktor covered his mouth with his hand to hide his amusement.
“Shut up.” I rolled my eyes. “I’m sure you’re not the picture of grace yourself.”
Viktor laughed. “Hence why I don’t intend to move from this spot for a while. A man must know his limits. What’s on your mind?”
Everything. Remiel. Daeva and Zanox. Where my angel father might be and what problems he might inject into my life. I took a sip from my glass and shook my head.
“A lot. Mostly how fortunate I’ve been to meet Aster.”
Viktor arched a brow. “You’re fond of the little sorceress, huh?”
“Aren’t you?” The words flew from my mouth before I had time to consider them. “I mean, look at her.”
Viktor shrugged. “I have. And I’ll agree, she’s a good ally to have. You both are. But I don’t see what’s so special about her to you. Half of the poor decisions we’ve made came at her suggestion.”
I leaned back as Viktor’s words sank in, heat creeping up my neck once more. Though he didn’t speak of Aster with the same edge as Remiel, I could still detect the blame in his voice. Had I misread the situation between the two of them? Did Viktor want to kiss her or kill her?
“She’s brave.”
“She’s well-trained,” Viktor countered. “Once you’ve won a hundred fights, one more isn’t as terrifying. Why, are you envious of her or something?”
“No!” I blurted out too quickly to convince even myself. “That’s ridiculous. What do I have to envy?”
“Exactly what I planned to ask you.” Viktor smirked. “Aster is wonderful. But personally? I like you better.”
Time between us froze as my heart raced. My face burned hotter than the sun as a coy smile tugged at the corners of my mouth. He probably didn’t mean it. He was being a good friend, trying to comfort me—
His lips crashed against mine before I had time to realize what was happening. I gasped with surprise as his tongue pressed against my lips. His fingers combed through my hair and pulled me closer, his kiss hungry. Ambrosia and salt lingered in his kiss.
It wasn’t how I’d expected my first kiss to feel. The few times I’d seen displays of intimacy in public, circumstances limited it to polite pecks and gentle kisses on the forehead. There was nothing gentle about the way Viktor’s mouth devoured mine. The ice in my blood turned to liquid fire as my body melted into his, my arms around his neck. Closer. I wanted him to be closer.
Viktor jerked away as fast as he’d kissed me. My lips stung with rejection as I gasped for air. He jumped to his feet and stormed towards the door without a glance in my direction.
“Viktor!” I called as he reached the door. He paused with his hand on the doorknob, but he didn’t turn to face me.
Don’t go.
I’m sorry.
Please stay.
“Have a good night,” I whispered.
Viktor cleared his throat. “Indeed. You too. Sleep well. And, uh, sorry. Must’ve had too much to drink.”
My heart sank as my stomach clenched as if he’d punched me. I forced a weak smile. “Right. We both have. Hopefully we’ll forget the whole thing come morning.”
Viktor didn’t respond. He threw the door open and disappeared into the night, unaware I’d left my heart in his hands.
It was only a kiss. And we were both drunk. It meant nothing. I laid awake with the realization repeating in my head like a mantra. I didn’t need to think about the way Viktor’s lips felt on mine. We’d made a drunken mistake, an accident we would never repeat. A horrible decision I’d do anything to forget.
So why couldn’t I think of anything else?
* * *
A few hours into my booze-lazed sleep, Daeva came. The dream I’d been in the middle of dissolved from the edges inward like a burned photograph. I stood on the roof of the castle in Shadowrealm, Daeva a few feet away. Darkness surrounded us as Daeva tapped her pointed nail against her chin.
“You think you’re clever.” A sadistic smile pulled at her lips. “I must admit, I underestimated you. I didn’t assume you’d assemble a ragtag group of renegades to lay down their lives for you.”
“What do you want?”
Daeva’s expression darkened. “This isn’t over, Lilianna. Not by a longshot. How many men will you let die in your place?”
Her words hit me like a punch to the stomach. “Remi—”
“Is fine. For now.” Daeva gave a sharp whistle. A cloud of smoke appeared next to her hand, Remiel’s bloodied face in the center. “He’s seen better days, but he’s alive.”
“Why?”
“I thought you’d be grateful to see we hadn’t killed him.” Daeva flashed a smile. “But I suppose I should have guessed my daughter would know me well enough to guess it’s not a gesture of kindness.”
“Let him go. It’s me you want.”
“That’s only half true. A fallen angel is close to conversion. If I can seduce your little friend into the shadows, he has the potential to be one of my strongest soldiers.”
“He’d never serve you,” I spat. “In case you didn’t get the memo, he didn’t excel at serving the Archangels, either.”
“Because he never belonged with them. He’s not a mindless cog in their machine. Remiel can see through the hypocrisy and illusions.”
“Which means he can see through you.”
Lightning flashed through Daeva’s eyes as her mouth twitched. “You resemble me in appearance, but every time you open your mouth your father comes out. You’re so convinced you have all the facts you blind yourself to new evidence.”
I shook my head, unwilling to let her get the upper hand on my thoughts. “You kidnapped my friends and tried to kill me. My so-called father’s men murdered the only father I knew. You don’t care about me; you care how much more powerful I can make you. Find another way to get the upper hand in your screwed-up marriage. I’m not your loaded gun to point and fire.”
Daeva’s hand flew around my throat as she pinned me against the wall. She brought her face inches from mine and hissed, “You don’t know what you are, let alone what you’re capable of. If you did, you’d understand why your father has tried so hard to eliminate your powers from play. You don’t belong in Astryae, and the longer you’re there the more damage you’ll do. Everything you touch will crumble at your fingertips until you come home where you belong.”
“I’d rather die.”
“Oh, I’m sure you will. Your father’s men or the demons will find you eventually, and they won’t risk keeping you alive after what happened last time. But the longer it takes for that to happen, the more of your friends you’ll watch die first.”
The scene faded before I had a chance to argue. My eyes jerked open to find Aster crouched next to me, her face twisted with concern. Fresh tears stained m
y cheeks, my breathing labored.
“Are you okay?” she asked. “You were screaming in your sleep.”
My hand flew up to wipe my face. “Sorry. I’m fine. Had a nightmare.”
Aster’s expression didn’t change. “Do you want me to stay out here with you tonight? Or you can sleep in the bed with me? I understand if you don’t want to be alone.”
I shook my head, but my voice shook as I spoke. “I’m fine. I’m sorry I woke you up. It was only a dream.”
Aster looked me over and sighed. “All right, as you wish. Viktor went to check the perimeter, but he should be back soon. I’ll be in my bedroom if you need anything.”
As Aster retreated to her bedroom, Viktor’s face flashed through my mind. What if Daeva was right? What if I lost Viktor or Aster in a selfish attempt to save myself? My stomach clenched, my chest tight.
I spent the rest of the night awake, afraid my mother waited for me in my slumber. Sleep felt no safer than reality since she’d invaded my head. As strong as everyone assumed me to be, I’d never felt more helpless. If I didn’t stop Daeva, she’d destroy everything I cared about.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
A Lone Wolf Covers More Ground
Viktor moved through the following day in a daze. He confined himself to Aster’s den much of the day, his head buried between the pages of books. But no matter how many times he read over the same lines, his brain retained none of the information. His thoughts flitted between the battle to come and his fallen friend. Was Remiel alive and waiting for rescue? Why did no one else appear concerned with saving him?
The knock on the front door arrived minutes after the sun dipped behind the treetops. Viktor froze as he watched Aster sashay towards the door. She hummed under her breath as she moved, oddly at ease for a woman soon to face the end of days. As much as he respected her talents, Remiel hadn’t been wrong about her arrogance.
“Thank you for coming.” Aster’s face split into a wide smile. She stepped back and held the door open. A girl almost half a foot taller than Aster stepped into the house. Her eyes flickered around as Aster pressed the door shut behind her. Thick, dark curls framed her heart-shaped face.
