by Kay Leitch
'Helen's picture unveiling turned out to be a lot more fun than I had anticipated,' thought Tracy as she walked back to the cottage later that same day, not only did she get a chance to have a hilarious session with Maggie (who was on top form) making fun of all the tweedy ladies and flowery hats, but she had been standing near to Vanessa when she had literally keeled over. Giles had turned a shade of grey and rushed to her side and all the W.I. ladies stormed into action with smelling salts being produced from enormous handbags in all directions, they obviously did the trick because she soon came round and was excruciatingly embarrassed to have been caught on the floor with her dress rucked up and her knickers on show. Of course she was very subdued and apologizing like mad for making a scene and just desperate to get home, but the W.I. ladies were having none of that. Having got themselves a real live first aid opportunity, they were not about to let it go in a hurry. One of the 'ladies' (she looked like a wrestler in a dress) almost dragged the reluctant Vanessa to a comfy seat and then produced an enormous scarf and proceeded to fan her with it vigorously, hitting her in the face with it a couple of times. Maggie and Tracy had been almost wetting themselves by this time, but Carla (who was obviously the kind hearted witch) went over and rescued her, by saying that she needed to speak to her in private, a police matter, at which point Vanessa looked like she might faint again but she went with Carla nonetheless, and Giles followed on behind, all concern and caring.
After that drama the rest of the evening was a bit of a let-down, although they had got to meet Helen's Mike, he seemed lovely, and soon both Tracy and Maggie were flirting with him like mad, but he only seemed to have eyes for Helen and shortly after they left for a romantic dinner. Maggie was all for carrying on the evening at The Bull, but Tracy didn't feel up to another drinking session. Her thoughts had turned to Simon once again, she found herself wishing that he would look at her in the same way that Mike had looked at Helen…maybe she should give him a chance to explain…what could it hurt, so she left Maggie to it and went home alone.
Simon was waiting on her doorstep.
Tracy took a deep breath, not quite knowing how to handle this situation, 'Evening,' she said breezily, 'what brings you here this fine evening?'
'You know very well what Tracy, why haven't you answered any of my calls I've been trying to get hold of you since this morning when you called me…um… I know what you must have thought but you have got it all wrong,' he said urgently.
'Oh so I didn't hear a sleepy woman's voice on the other end of your mobile at 8.30 this morning? But then again why on earth should you have to explain to me, what am I to you, just a work colleague, someone you kissed once, really Simon you don't owe me any explanations,' she went to walk past him but he grabbed her arm.
'You must know by now that I fancy you rotten Tracy, I don't know where this is going but I can't bear the thought that we didn't give it a go just because of a silly misunderstanding.'
Tracy shook off his hand and opened the front door, 'Well you'd better come in and explain then hadn't you?'
'The voice you heard was Vanessa's…'
'What!' Tracy swung round to confront him, 'you've been having a fling with Vanessa right under Giles's nose…' Simon stopped Tracy from storming off again.
'Oh for god's sake Tracy will you just shut up and listen! I ended up having a few drinks with Vanessa late last night, she was in a bit of a state about the Giles situation and I found her crying her eyes out, so I sat and talked to her till really late…she is in really bad shape, by the way, saying some really weird stuff that didn't make much sense…I think she's got some real issues…anyway I sat with her until she had calmed down, and I guess I must have drunk more than I realised because I left my phone on the coffee table in her living room. Which is why she answered it when you phoned this morning… she brought it straight up to me and I tried calling you…but of course by then you had switched off your phone…I even came round and tried your door bell, but I guess you know that…anyway that's what happened…'
Tracy sighed and went into the kitchen. 'I know I could use a coffee, want one?'
'Coffee would be great, thanks,' Simon followed her into the kitchen, 'Where's your fierce protector today?'
'What…oh Buster…ha ha ha he's not fierce at all really, he's just not used to me having a man in my house…as far as he's concerned HE'S the man of the house,' she opened the back door and let Buster in, he immediately started sniffing round Simon's shoes and then working his way up his legs heading for his crotch… 'Buster! Stop that…oh god how embarrassing.'
They took their coffee back into the sitting room, Buster followed at their heels and sat himself down in front of Simon watching his every move.
'Look Tracy can we start again, I am sorry about this morning…' started Simon.
'No, no don't apologise again…I completely overreacted,' Tracy said at the same time…they smiled at each other.
'So what have you been doing today, apart from tying to avoid me of course?' Simon said.
'Well actually I ended up having a lovely day, my friend Helen has done a canvas for the village hall and there was something of a ceremony for its unveiling, so all of us, Maggie, Carla and I, promised to go along for support and it turned out to be really entertaining…not for Vanessa though now I come to think about it, I'm afraid she's not had a very good day today either,' she went on to tell him about Vanessa fainting and all the W.I. ladies jumping into action and soon they were both laughing.
'You are very funny you know,' said Simon. 'It's one of the first things that I noticed about you, that and your lovely smile of course.'
'Now I know you're lying,' said Tracy with a grimace, 'you wound me up so much then, I can't remember smiling at you once.'
'Well there must have been something about you because I haven't been able to get you out of my head from day one.'
Tracy didn't know what to say, things like this just didn't happen to her.
'So where do we go from here?' said Simon. 'Can I take you out tonight, I've got to be moving on tomorrow so it's tonight or I don't know when.'
'You see this is what's bothering me, Simon,' exclaimed Tracy, 'yes I would love to go out with you tonight, but what happens when you move on, I have heard that long distance relationships don't often work and I'm not about to set myself up for another fall.'
'Well yes I am moving on, but I'm only going as far as Lingfield, which is only about an hour's drive from here, I would hardly call that long distance…but if you think that's too far…'
'No…not at all,' said Tracy eagerly, 'when and where?'
Simon let out a whoop and caught Tracy up and span her round, and then gave her an enormous smacker, 'Eight at The Bull?'
'I'll be there,' said Tracy with a smile.
Simon left soon after, and Tracy sped into action, showering, buffing and preening until she felt she looked as good as she could get. Buster watched her dejectedly, he knew the signs, obviously he was in for a lonely evening.
Simon appeared to be in the middle of a deep discussion with Giles when Tracy arrived at the pub an hour or so later, but he stopped and gave Tracy a whistle of appreciation when he spotted her, 'Wow, you look great, I feel like a scruffy oik compared to you.'
'You look lovely,' said Tracy, and he did too, he'd changed into a shirt that matched his eyes and some seriously bum flattering jeans, Tracy didn't know how she could ever have thought him ugly.
Tracy found herself feeling unusually shy as they were shown to their table, but any awkwardness soon disappeared, Simon was incredibly easy to talk to, and soon they were laughing and chatting like old friends.
'Giles seems a bit off tonight,' said Tracy, after Giles had served them dessert without a hint of a smile.
'He is really going through it at the moment I think,' said Simon as he spooned an enormous helping of rhubarb crumble and custard into his mouth, this was a new experience for Tracy most of the men that she had dated were almost as bad as girls with thei
r faddy eating and watching their waist lines, but Simon had a big appetite, and didn't seem to judge her if she was a gutsy pig as well.
'I think he's worried about Vanessa,' he went on, 'she has become so depressed and emotional, he's been trying to persuade her to go away for a while, stay with her sister I think he said, but she's having none of it…she doesn't seem to have any friends around here, no one to talk to, that's why I ended up talking to her the other night…'
'None of us know very much about Vanessa,' said Tracy defensively, 'but I think you're right she is close to a break down, I saw her a couple of weeks ago in the woods…'
Tracy went on to describe what had happened,' Carla didn't want me to tell anyone what I had seen, but I'm so sure it was Vanessa and now with what you've said…'
'I wonder what could have made her so upset,' pondered Simon, 'unless she knew the dead girl, but if that were the case surely she would have told the police…I guess with all this going on it's easy to see why Giles snapped the other night.'
The conversation soon moved on to other things and all too soon it was time to go home, they were the last two in the restaurant and Tracy could see Giles pacing up and down obviously wanting to close up and go to bed, he had been like a bear with a sore head this evening, distinctly unfriendly and preoccupied, obviously the events of the past few days were weighing heavily on his mind. Tracy tried to give him a friendly smile and asked for the bill, he just raised his eyebrows as if to say 'at last' and went off to get it.
Tracy cleared her throat, 'Err… would you like to come back for a coffee?' she asked Simon, tentatively.
'Well that depends on whether it's coffee you're offering me or sex, because to be quite honest with you I've had enough coffee for one night,' said Simon with a teasing smile…'Now if it's sex…well…'
'Oh all right then…would you like to continue the evening at my house…not for coffee,' said Tracy blushing furiously, Simon suddenly looked at her with serious intent in his eyes.
'That sounds like something I would like to do very, very much…where's Giles with that bloody bill…oh here he comes.'
They had a bit of a fight over who was paying what, but very soon they were walking the short distance back to Tracy's cottage. As soon as the door closed behind them Simon took Tracy into his arms and kissed her, her legs turned to jelly and she closed the gap between them putting her arms around his neck. Simon who was obviously not slow on the uptake let his hand roam over her back and down round her bum, he pulled her even tighter letting her feel the very obvious evidence of his desire, immediately things got very hot indeed, clothes were being thrown in all directions one of Simon's shoes ended up on the end of the banister, somehow or other they managed to make it into the living room and onto the couch. Buster was barking frantically in the kitchen as he could hear his mistress being man handled all over the place, but Tracy was so wrapped up in the passion of the moment that she either didn't hear him or didn't care.
They made love with an intensity that wasn't pretty or elegant, it was frantic and clumsy, arms and legs entwined, long hard kisses filled with heat, sighs, and gasps, grunts and groans a marathon of sexual gymnastics that left them both exhausted and satisfied.
'Wow,' said Simon as soon as he had breath enough to speak, they were lying on a pile of clothes in the middle of the living room floor sharing a cigarette. 'That was worth the wait…there's much more to you than meets the eye Tracy my lovely, you are amazing.'
Tracy felt herself going all unnecessary, 'You're pretty amazing yourself,' she said shyly, blushing like mad and trying desperately to cover up her fat bits with a completely inadequate cushion, Simon laughed when he noticed what she was doing.
'Darling Tracy you are going to need a much bigger cushion than that to cover up those gorgeous assets, and why would you want to hide them anyway, surely you're not going all shy on me are you? After what we've just done…sweetheart…look at me.'
Tracy slowly lifted her eyes to his; he smiled the sweetest smile and said, 'You are fabulous Tracy Dawlish, I could look at your amazing body all night… I could look into your amazing eyes all night, and I will dream about being wrapped in your arms all night when I'm not with you, you are all woman every gorgeous curve of you… you have no need to cover up!'
Tracy couldn't explain why but she felt the tears well up in her eyes, never before had a man made her feel so beautiful and sexy, she pushed the cushion away and lay back in naked glory, Simon jumped on her with a roar of delight and soon they were oblivious to everything except the pleasure of each other.
Buster, in the kitchen, gave up the fight to get Tracy's attention and with a big sigh curled up in his bed and went to sleep.
CHAPTER 39 - CARLA
As soon as she could prise her away from the ladies of the W.I. Carla walked back across the green to the pub with Vanessa and Giles, nobody spoke, they were all wrapped up in their own thoughts. Carla knew that she had to confront Vanessa now about her relationship with Louise, and ask her to explain why she had kept this to herself. She also had to find out if it was her that Louise was coming to see, had she sent her texts and emails…this was going to be a tricky one, she had no real evidence of any of the things that she was going to ask her about, just a hunch and a dog eared photo. Vanessa herself seemed to be wound as tight as a coiled spring; she had fainted at the sight of Helen's canvas… Helen's canvas that was a depiction of almost the exact spot that Louise's body had been found…Helen's canvas that captured the scene that Tracy had seen Vanessa running from as if all the demons from hell were after her…Vanessa had some explaining to do alright, but Carla was very aware that she mustn't push her too hard…Vanessa was a woman on the edge.
Giles on the other hand seemed to be completely pre-occupied with his own thoughts, yes he was worried about Vanessa but he seemed to be battling with some demons of his own, he had barely said two words to her all day, he only seemed to notice his surroundings when Vanessa had fainted and then his mask had slipped, he had looked like a drowning man.
At the pub Carla asked to speak to Vanessa on her own, she nodded silently and led Carla upstairs to the elegant living room; she sat on the edge of the beautiful cream sofa and waited for Carla to speak.
'Vanessa,' Carla began cautiously, 'can you tell me what your maiden name was, and where you grew up?'
It appeared for a while that Vanessa wasn't going to answer the question, she sat quite calmly looking down at her hands, then she seemed to almost come to a decision, she raised her eyes to Carla's.
'My maiden name was Pinner…my mother's name…as I told you the other night my parents never married…I grew up in Sevenoaks in Kent, my father was a barrister and my mother a teacher…until she became ill anyway…' Vanessa shrugged, 'then she was just at home', Carla smiled and nodded reassuringly.
'And can you tell me about that Vanessa, was it a happy childhood?'
Vanessa shifted in her seat clearly weighing up the question and how much she should reveal, Carla could see the calculating in Vanessa's eyes, as she raised them to hers.
'I suppose you could call it happy, we lived in a nice neighbourhood, never wanted for anything, went to the best schools…yes I should imagine most people would say we were lucky.'
'But you left there when you were just fifteen, didn't you…moved to Maidstone… why was that Vanessa? Can you tell me about that?'
Vanessa seemed to shrink in front of Carla, a look of dread filled her eyes. 'Oh please don't ask me that …don't make me say it…please I have left that time behind me.'
Carla put her hand on hers, 'Believe me I'm sorry Vanessa…I understand how hard this is for you, but I must ask you to answer these questions, you know why I have to don't you?' Vanessa hung her head nodding; she took a deep breath.
'I had to go…he said I was a disgrace, my Mum must never know…Julie's sister said I could stay with her, of course she didn't know… no one knew, so I looked after the children and stayed away from everybo
dy until it was done…then I went home…but they didn't want me back, Mum was dying…my fault he said, the grief of losing me…not knowing where I was…but I had written, she knew I was ok, I told her I was fine…he didn't give her the letter, the bastard I know that now…bastard…'
'Until what was done…Vanessa you said until it was done, what did you mean?' Carla had to get her to say it.
'I had to get rid of it…Mum must never know he said, it would kill her…the shame of it you know, so I waited in Maidstone until…I made sure it was safe…put it where someone would find it, but I had to get rid of it or else I could never go home…and then I couldn't go home anyway…even Faye thought it was my fault…she's never spoken to me since…but I did what he wanted…he said get rid and then you can come back… bastard… lying fucking bastard.'
'Vanessa, are you telling me that you had a child in Maidstone…a little girl, that you left outside the hospital?' Vanessa lifted her eyes to Carla's for the first time and nodded, tears streaming down her face. Carla felt a thrill of triumph at last she was getting somewhere, she kept her voice calm though.
'I can't imagine how terrifying that must have been for you, giving birth all alone…what made you do that Vanessa…couldn't you confide in anybody…what about your mum…your sister?'
Vanessa's grief turned to anger and she stood and started pacing round the room as she spoke, flinging her arms out as if to demonstrate her loathing for her father.
'He said it would kill her, my Mum, if she found out, I couldn't do that to her, she was very religious, went to church every week, helped with the flowers on Sunday, I couldn't bring that shame on her…so I went away…it was for the best… Faye never knew anything about it…I didn't know it was a girl…I didn't look…I just wrapped it up, made sure it was warm and put it where someone would find it…and they did didn't they…it was for the best…I didn't know it was a girl until a few weeks ago.'
She sat down again and Carla took her hands, 'How did you find out Vanessa, did she come looking for you…did you meet her?'
