by Shayla Black
Page 21
The lass was defeated and self-blaming, and he’d have to fix that over time. “You weren’t listening when I told you that I don’t back down from a challenge, were you? Best mark my words from now on. ”
She went a bit wide eyed. “Oh. Okay. ”
Liam could read her so easily. She didn’t think he’d last long with her, that he’d grow tired of her after a few days or weeks and cut her loose. Raine didn’t know him well yet, but she would.
“You know damn well that you need not fear me. Every time I touch you, you’ll have your safe word, but by christ, I’ll not be played again. ”
“I never meant to—”
“I’m not finished. ” Of course she hadn’t meant to cross or upset him. She hadn’t thought of him at all last night. And that burned bitter in his gut. She meant far more to him somehow than she should after a handful of days. And he wouldn’t let her go until he figured out why. “You and I will spend some time together, just the two of us, until we share an understanding. Do you hear me, Raine? I was as clear as I could be yesterday when I told you that you were mine and I would not share you with another. ”
She just nodded, her face a mask of guilt.
“I meant every word. Now lay back and get some rest. We’ve a long drive ahead of us. ”
“Why would you bother?”
He turned to stare at her, raised brow, silently chiding her for her disobedience. She bit her lip and looked down.
The truth was, he usually made every decision logically. But this he couldn’t explain.
Her eyes were soft and contrite. “I don’t mean to question you, but yes, you’re right. I owe you and I didn’t stop to think enough. I never thought you’d really care. . . but when I hear myself say it, it sounds lame. I am more sorry than you know. I don’t expect you to forgive me, so don’t worry. Can I just ask that if you want to spank me that you try to avoid the bruises? But if you’d rather not, I understand. I’ve earned it. ”
“I’ll answer this, then you’ll stop with the questions and rest. And you’ll obey. ” As she started to speak, he stopped her. “Nod, Raine. Take a deep breath and just nod. Don’t disappoint me. Listen, then you’ll sleep. I’ve a place that’s remote and beautiful this time of year. We’ll be alone there, and we’ll sort this out. That’s all you need to know now. Do you understand?”
“Yes. ” The word held a vast quantity of remorse, but she’d said the one word he wanted to hear.
“I ‘bother’ with you, as you say, because I’m a Dominant. Because you need what I can give you. ” But Liam was painfully aware that wasn’t the only reason, just the one that made the most sense and would be more likely to win her cooperation. “By the time we’re ready to face. . . others together once more, you and I, I promise that you’ll not forget what it means to be truly owned. And you will never mistake my kindness for weakness again. ”
She looked like she had a hundred more questions, but she held her tongue, laid back, and tried to rest. She curled into herself, and he couldn’t help but notice that she shivered. The November morn was nippy, and with her wet hair and bare feet, the lass had to be chilly. He turned the heater up, questioning again why she mattered. But the answer remained the same. This damaged girl needed someone to care for her, take her in hand. For some reason, he wanted to be that man—and it wasn’t because he pitied her. Because he didn’t want to lose at the infidelity game again? Maybe… But he could picture her now naked and waiting for him in their bed, her big blue eyes welcoming him before she spread her legs and invited him into her lush body, or kneeling before him, head bowed, offering him her submission. . .
Liam jerked his gaze back to the narrow mountain road.
When she finally fell asleep, he placed a call to Adam, the caretaker of the cabin he’d inherited last year. He hadn’t visited the place in years. Best of all, Hammer would never find it.
He made the necessary arrangements to have everything ready for their arrival, and Adam assured him that he and his wife, Ngaire, would collect some clothing for Raine, as well as lay in food and provisions. He hung up, checking that task off his mental list, then he allowed his thoughts to drift back to the morning as he drove steadily onward.
Hammer’s incomprehensible behavior still had him shaking his head. And the conflicting rage and protectiveness Raine had instilled standing before him both bruised and dazed stunned Liam. Then, not surprisingly, his thoughts turned to the moments he’d claimed her in the dungeon and again in his bed…followed by the memory of his crushing disappointment. Waking to find her gone from his bed and hearing her cry out in passion from Hammer’s. . . Fuck!
His past come to haunt him all over again.
Why in the hell hadn’t he just walked away from her and Hammer and the whole sordid saga before it had come to this? After all, he’d had ample opportunities to leave. It wasn’t as if the man had asked for or wanted his help. Hammer’s assertion that Raine had only used him to get her boss’s attention flitted through his thoughts. It was possible. Probable even. But Liam knew without a doubt that Raine felt something when she was with him. She might love Hammer, but her responses when she’d been with him had been all innocent gasps, clinging arms and legs, sugary-spun kisses, and welcome. He didn’t have much certainty about anything right now. But two things he did know: Raine wanted him, and he wasn’t ready to let her go.
By the time he pulled up in front of the lodge a few hours later, she was waking. “We’re here. Stay where you are, and I’ll fetch you inside. We’ll get you warm soon. ”
She glanced up at the lodge, clearly puzzled. But she banked her questions—for him, that much was clear. But her meekness wouldn’t last. Guilt would wear off, especially once he started to confront her issues. Then…Liam knew he’d be in for a battle.
He was fast coming to realize that Raine knew well how to fight fire with fire. Hell, sometimes she started the fire all by herself. But when someone lavished her with consideration and caring? She had no weapons—and unless he missed his guess—no experience with that. When showered with tenderness, she all but whimpered like a kicked puppy. But she needed it, and using that weapon would help him get answers. Though he probably shouldn’t care, he didn’t have the stomach to see her so tormented and ill-treated again.
As he jumped from the car, he blocked the caretaker from opening Raine’s door. “Thank you, Adam. I’ll help her in. She’s had a rough time of it. If you’ll just take my bag…”
The caretaker nodded and pulled his suitcase from the back.
As the man turned away, Liam helped Raine from the car. She winced and walked slowly, obviously tender and sore all over, as Liam led her toward the warm lodge, wrapping an arm around her wee waist.
What exactly had happened between Raine and Hammer? Why had she been crying as if her world had near ended yet be furious to boot? And why was she always determined to leave when trouble rolled around? Liam sensed that her waters ran deep and her secrets deeper. If he wanted to hang onto the lass, he’d best be getting smart and coax some answers from her.
After watching a few of her ginger steps, he swept her into his arms again and strode inside. A fire burned brightly in the hearth, warming the cavernous room, while the yeasty scent of fresh-baked bread made his stomach growl. Raine trembled in his arms, but he merely held her closer and mounted the staircase beyond the open lounge.
Inside the master bedroom, he laid her carefully on the bed and continued to the bathroom, then set about filling the massive tub. As he approached Raine, her eyes followed him. Though she watched him mutely, he knew she’d find her moxie again soon enough. But he was ready.
“Use the bathroom, if you need. Once you’re finished, get in the tub. Let the water and Epsom salt ease your aches and pains. I’ve added some oils to soothe you. Away you go. I’ll be there in a minute. I want to check on our lunch first. ” He waited until she’d carefully moved from the bed and into the bathroom be
Bless Ngaire! She’d prepared some hearty sandwiches with lots of fruit and a bottle of wine, crusty bread, cheeses, a jar of fine pickles, and an unexpected treat. He put together a platter, grabbed two glasses, and headed upstairs once more.
Liam poured her wine, then stripped and sauntered into the bathroom to join her. She lay with her head back against the tub, eyes closed, immersed in the scented water.
As he stepped in the hot tub with her, Raine started, sitting up and gathering her knees to her chest, watching him wordlessly with wary eyes. He handed her the wine as he sank down and leaned back against the opposite edge of the tub, lifting each of her legs in turn and spreading them open and over his own.
Steam swirled softly around them as his stare bore into hers. “Take a drink of your wine, Raine. ”
She did, and Liam picked up one of her feet and laid it against the hard flesh of his belly. He had to lower her guard, convince her that she had nothing to fear. So he kneaded her gentle arch with his hands, smiling at her little moan.
“What are you thinking? Tell me what’s on your mind. ”
He could tell by her silent consideration and sudden tenseness that she was trying to figure him out and decide how honest to be.
Liam leveled a fierce stare at her. “No editing your answers. Spit it out. ”
“I don’t know how to take you. ” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Tears sheened her eyes, and she took another sip of wine to hide it. “Hammer had six years invested in me and he let me leave with barely a word. You spent a few hours with me and yet you’re still here, despite…everything. ” She took another sip of wine, then set it on the window ledge beside her. “I can never tell you how much I appreciate what you’ve done for me. I needed to get out of there. But if anyone should have been happy to see my ass getting smaller in the distance, I would have thought it would be you. ” She smiled, trying to lighten the mood. “You have a knight in shining armor fetish?”
He didn’t respond right away, simply kept kneading and pressing, circling and gentling the foot he cradled in his hand. How the fuck should he answer her? Certainly, he couldn’t tell her that he’d first approached her, because he’d schemed to use her to make Hammer jealous. Nor could he confess that something he couldn’t explain had happened along the way. That their first kiss had blown his plans to hell. That he couldn’t imagine letting her go now.
“Knight in shining armor, not exactly. But a Dominant who can’t stand seeing a sub so starved. The guilt is written all over your face. And I won’t say I’m happy with your choices. There will be consequences. But you can repay me by learning, and this time, giving me your trust and honesty. Can you do that, Raine?”
“I don’t know. How I can be afraid of something I’ve wanted so badly for so long?”
He watched her struggle to hold in her tears. She tossed her head back, furiously blinking them away with sheer will.
“If you need to cry, then cry, lass. Let it out. ”
She shook her head, her mouth tightening mulishly. “If I’m going to cry over anything, it’s going to be because I was stupid. I’d rather learn from my mistake and move on. ”
“Fair enough. Why do you think you can’t give me your trust and honesty?”
Raine didn’t answer right away. “I’m not. . . very good with either one. I never learned as a kid. I haven’t had much practice at Shadows. I even lied to myself that Hammer could love me as more than a little pet. I don’t think he knows how to be honest, either. To get rid of me, he spouted a bunch of crap about having a wife who was a slave that you shared with him. I wish he’d have saved the B. S. I could have filled in the blanks with a better lie of my own. ”
“What makes you think he lied? Juliet was lovely, but sadly flawed, like most of us. She seemed the most devoted slave to Hammer. ” Liam kept talking into Raine’s stunned expression. “Yes, we shared her on occasion, but the lesson you should take from her tale isn’t obedience, though that would be nice… But what you should learn that she tragically never did is communication. We rely on it in the power exchange. It’s as essential as the air we breathe. You’ll learn to give me your tears and your broken heart. I would have your pain, just as I will your pleasure. ”
Liam lifted her then, as easily as he would a child, and sat her on his lap. Holding her to him and surrounding her with his strength, he rocked her, stroking her until the terrible pain she’d been holding in for so long couldn’t be silenced a moment longer. She wept long, hot tears.
“Get it all out. Just hold on to me tight and let it go. ”
She hid her face from him, but couldn’t stop her sobbing. “I don’t know how to do this, cry and bleed in front of someone. I feel too exposed. It hurts too much. ” She shook her head, struggling for each shuddering breath as she fought to contain her emotions. “He didn’t tell me what happened to Juliet—god, she even sounds pretty—but I’d lay money I’m far worse at communicating than she was. ” She sat back from him, curling her arms around her middle. “And I’m not going to be good for you. You’ll split me open like a ripe peach, all right, but you won’t like the rotting core underneath. I can’t stand that, without meaning to, I’ve come between you and your best friend. I’m like an atomic bomb everywhere I go. Destructive. Stupid. Thoughtless. You should cut your losses and let me go. I owe you too much to stay and screw up your life. ” She yanked from his grip altogether and climbed from the tub, then raced for the door.
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