by Shayla Black
Page 26
So she could escape again? He bent to her and adjusted her to face him, then tilted her chin upward, forcing her to look his way. “No, don’t shut me out. ” He kissed her forehead and rubbed her arms lightly. “Thank you for the trust you’ve given me so far. I’m so proud of you right now. I know that was difficult. I promise you, I’m right here and not going anywhere. ”
“Thank you,” she murmured, not meeting his gaze. “I’m so grateful…and more, but I don’t know how to say it. ”
Just as he wanted it. He’d keep chipping away at her barriers until he found a place in her heart. She seemed to have made one in his already.
“I trust you’ll find the words eventually. Eat here with me now. You did such a wonderful job of preparing us a feast. ” He smiled. “Let’s share it. ”
With a tired nod, she focused on the plate he set in front of her before he tucked the pickles back in the refrigerator.
Liam sat and dug into his steak. “Perfect, as always. Thank you, lass. ”
Everything she’d cooked was superb. The bread crunched just enough when he bit into it. The salad was crisp, the meat savory. The vegetables had a burst of flavor. Raine was at home in the kitchen. Hammer’s words about her being made for marriage floated through his brain again. At the time, he hadn’t given it much thought, but Liam could see now that she would flourish with stability, with a man who committed to her and would be there day in and out.
He had no desire to marry.
A problem for later. No sense in borrowing trouble now.
“I think it’s time I shared something painful from my past with you, Raine. I rarely do this, but you’ve been such a brave wee beauty. I would have you know more about me. It might help you understand. Don’t get ideas, mind you. This is something I’m choosing to give. ”
She nodded solemnly, and he knew that he had her attention.
“As you probably know, Hammer isn’t the only one who was married. . . ”
She watched him with unblinking eyes, her questions lurking in her gaze. “I’m listening. ”
“After Juliet passed away and Hammer moved out here, I met Gwyneth, a seemingly lovely English rose from an aristocratic family on holiday in New York. I was rich. She was pretty. We had similar interests and appetites. So I married her. It seemed that we had found that elusive something idyllic for a time. Then…I discovered Gwyneth cheating. I returned home unexpectedly after a business trip to find her on her knees as her supposedly gay personal trainer fucked her while she gave his life partner head. ”
Raine paled. “Oh my god…”
Liam took a long drink of his wine, cut another slice of the moist, succulent steak, and savored it for a moment. “To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I thought we were happy, that she’d be the mother of my children. I had plans for our future. In an instant, I buried them. I realized that I’d married her because it seemed logical, not because I’d loved her. When she wanted a divorce, I let her go. I didn’t care enough anymore to fight. But that sour taste of betrayal is something that, even now, triggers me. . . ” Again, he paused, allowing his words to sink in. “You’re not the only one with trust issues, Raine. So seeing you with Hammer this morning…”
“Brought it all back. ” Guilt tortured her face. She dropped her fork. “I’m so sorry. ”
Actually, Gwyneth’s perfidy had enraged him. Raine’s had fucking torn at his heart, so much that Liam barely understood. But he kept that to himself.
“I didn’t realize…” Her face pleaded for forgiveness.
He leveled a considering stare her way. “I understand that what happened between you and Hammer was not just two people fucking for mere sex. He wanted you as much as you wanted him. I’d like to, but I can’t blame you for giving yourself to the man you’ve long believed that you loved, though your timing was frankly lousy. Whether intentional or not, you agreed to something that I hold dear, then tossed it aside without so much as a backward glance when Hammer looked your way. Understand, Raine, that trust will be hard won from me, too. And if you ever violate it again like that, we’ll be done. ”
She swallowed, looking stricken, and he realized that she’d stopped eating long ago. “I understand. ”
“Finish your steak. ” He waited until she picked up her fork again.
“Liam…I truly never meant to hurt you. I really am sorry. ” She looked at her plate, face filled with contrition. It was on the tip of his tongue to reassure her, but it might be good for her to think about what he’d said. He wanted this to work, but she needed to understand what would kill their growing relationship faster than anything.
Liam shook his head, thinking about the slew of messages from Hammer. Had the man been trying to get Raine pregnant as a way of tying her to him, even unconsciously? Or maybe fucking her without protection had been completely premeditated, to get him back for claiming her as his own. Liam gnashed his teeth.
“Does something not taste good?” Raine asked quietly from across the table. “I’ll remake whatever it is. ”
“It’s all lovely, lass. Excellent, as always. ” He noticed that she’d set her fork aside again and her napkin on the table. Her plate was still more than half full. “Why aren’t you eating?”
“I’m not good at that when I’m upset. Maybe I’ll reheat it later. Do you want seconds of something? I’ll get it for you. ”
And there was the natural submissive. She wanted to feed him. It was her way of comforting and serving. Though the thought that Hammer may have gotten her pregnant made him violent, he could see that she’d make a wonderful mother.
“No. Thank you. I’d see you eat another few bites, though. You’ve scarce eaten enough for a bird. ”
“I don’t think I can. Please. . . Not now. Maybe my stomach won’t be turning later. ”
“You’ll eat a few more bites of your meat and salad. ”
Raine wrinkled her nose, but managed to choke back a few more mouthfuls, then she started turning green. He stopped her with a raised hand.
“Enough. Is there something on your mind?”
She wrung her hands. “I should have thought far more about who I was affecting and how it might hurt you before I said yes to Hammer. But I didn’t think much past the fact that I’d waited and loved him for so long, and if I said no, then I’d never know…”
“What he felt like? If he could love you in return? If it could work with him?” he leveled a heavy stare that told her he’d already guessed every one of her reasons.
Raine sank even smaller into her chair. “All of that. ”
“What had you planned to say to me the next morning?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t…” Think. Yes, he’d gathered that much. “Before we…” she sighed and looked down, guilt pouring from her. “I said no. I objected more than once. I told him that I belonged to you. ”
Liam froze. That was more consideration than he expected. But he wanted to make certain there’d been absolutely no misunderstanding. “So he forced you?”
“No. ”
Raine squeezed her eyes tightly shut, as if wishing she could escape. He gave her points for not lying to him.
“I didn’t stand my ground as I should have. ”
Because she’d wanted Hammer so damn badly. Liam wished he could say otherwise, but it rankled.
“I won’t ask if you feel guilty. I see that you do. Instead, I’ll ask you to remember this feeling, so we don’t cross this bridge again. I can be a patient man, but not always a forgiving one. ”
“Yes, Sir. ” She took a bracing breath and worked up the courage to meet his gaze. “In your shoes, I’d be furious, devastated. I would have run and done my best to disappear forever. ”
“Where I couldn’t hurt you again. ” It wasn’t a question; he was beginning to understand her well enough to know the answer.
“Yeah. ” She sent him a shaky nod. “But you…you’ve confronted this head on
and actually listened to my side of the story…such as it is. ” Her question hung unspoken. Why?
And there was his clever girl again. She wanted to know why he’d chosen to give up on his wife, but would fight for her. In some ways, Liam wasn’t sure himself. Maybe because he didn’t want her to go the way of Gwyneth. Or because he didn’t want to fail again. And yes, because she meant more to him than she should.
“I have my reasons,” he said cryptically for now.
She nodded, as if accepting his vague answer. “Can I ask how long you’ve been divorced?”
He sat back in his chair. “Officially, just over a year. We were separated for nearly a year before that. ”
She hesitated, seeming to grapple with her next question. “Why didn’t you tell me about all of this sooner?” She frowned. “And why are you telling me now?”
“Answer me this first: What difference would it have made? I doubt it would have changed a damned thing. You’d heard the rumors I was divorced. I didn’t know how much Hammer might have told you. ” He shrugged. “What we can do now is communicate. I volunteered to share something of myself with you, Raine. But your way is to brush me aside at every turn. Quid pro quo. ”
She sucked in a breath and looked down, mired in more guilt. “It’s not my intent to brush you aside. It’s just. . . my mom didn’t stay around to hear what I had to say. My dad never wanted to hear it. Hammer. . . ” She swallowed. “He couldn’t handle it. I assume that when most people ask, they’re just being polite, but they don’t really care. So I save us all the trouble. ” She shrugged. “You’re the first person I actually believe wants to hear it. Problem is, I’ve kept it to myself for so long, I don’t know how to say it. ”
Liam watched as she rose, rounded the table, then knelt beside his chair and grabbed his hands. “I swear, I didn’t do it to hurt you. It was thoughtless. And selfish. After wanting someone so badly for so long, I didn’t try hard enough to say no. Hammer kept telling me that he wasn’t good for me. I’m starting to think maybe he was right. ” She squeezed his fingers and looked at him with earnest blue eyes. “I’m probably not going to be very good at telling you how I feel. But if you really want to hear it, I’ll try. ”
She took a deep breath, and he realized that, for her, it was a big concession. And a big clue that she was willing to put some effort into their relationship, as Gwyneth hadn’t been.
“Raine. . . ”
Pushing the dishes back, he lifted her on the table in front of him. “Lean back, lass. You’ve earned a reward, and I’ve a mind to give it to you. ”
He lifted her legs, cradled them gently over each of his broad shoulders, then stroked his palm across her belly softly. She sighed as he kissed his way from her knees up to her inner thighs, paying tender attention to every purple mark Hammer had thoughtlessly left behind.
“Bloody hell, woman, you smell so good, like sin, so hot and feminine, utterly irresistible. I would taste you, Raine. Give you pleasure. Just relax and let me hear your cries. ”
Soon, she melted like butter beneath his warm tongue. He teased her clit and stroked her sweet, ripe nipples. As she undulated, her essence burst across his taste buds, overloading his brain with her flavor. And sealed her fate as his.
Her body grew tense, and she grabbed the edge of the table, anchoring herself as he drove her up higher. When she mewled, straining for the bit more stimulation she needed to tip her over, he slid a finger into her pussy. Groaning as her tender flesh squeezed him, Liam wished he could replace it with his cock. Then he drew her clit back into his mouth, all but inhaling her, pressing and flicking the swollen nub until the cries of climax spilled from her throat. Cream flooded his mouth.
Slowly, her grip softened, her body still quivering. Raine panted, her breasts rising and falling with each breath. God, he wanted to fuck her. But her eyes were squeezed shut, the aftermath still rippling through her. Liam tried to be patient, give her a minute to recover, but he couldn’t stop himself from kissing the swollen pad of her pussy and looking up the length of her slender curves with a hungry stare.
He clutched her waist and dragged her into his lap so she straddled him. He moved to kiss her, but Raine reached him first, eyes closed, a soft joy on her face as she laid her lips over his. He tangled his hands in her hair and tilted her head to take her mouth deeper. Even in her kiss, he tasted her welcome. She wasn’t just more open, but giving, and it was heady. God, he could get drunk off her. That he alone had tasted this sweet willingness spilling from her heart made it all the more thrilling.
Breathing heavily, he frowned when she broke away. He started to grab her closer and command her to stay when she lifted from his lap and squirmed to the floor between his feet, under the table. She reached for the zipper of his pants and looked up at him, silently asking permission.
