by J. M. Walker
He grinned, placing the gold wedding band along with a single solitaire diamond in behind it.
“Wow. This thing is bigger than my face.”
A laugh boomed through him. He kissed my cheek. “It’s all yours, baby.”
“My turn.” I held out my hand. “Pretty please.”
He placed the box in my hand. I opened it, another gold band staring up at me. It was identical to mine but thicker.
“I know most brides help pick out the rings, but I saw these and—”
“They’re perfect, Lucas. I promise.” I took out the ring and placed the box on the floor. “I know people are usually dressed—”
In a quick move, Lucas pulled me into his arms.
I gasped.
He wrapped a hand around his cock, pumped twice, and thrust back inside of me.
I moaned. “I wasn’t done yet.”
“I don’t give a fuck.” He nipped the side of my neck. “I want to be inside you when you claim me as yours.”
“God.” My pussy clenched around him at his words. “I love you.” I slid the ring onto his finger, earning me a hard growl.
We linked fingers, taking the next few hours to consummate our marriage. Officially.
“I guess we have to move your stuff in here now,” Lucas told me later that night.
“Yeah.” I kissed him hard on the mouth. “But that can wait. I need you back inside me.”
“Again? You’re not tired? Or sore?”
“Never.”
“Good. I wasn’t going to give you a choice.” He flipped me onto my stomach and sunk his teeth into my shoulder blade.
I giggled. “Do what you want, my husband.”
“Fuck, I like the sound of that.”
“Me too,” I breathed.
“I’m going to spend the rest of the night making love to my wife.”
“Yeah?” I cupped his cheek when he kissed my shoulder.
“Yeah, baby,” he said, his voice husky.
“Good, because I need you, Lucas. Always and forever.”
“You have me, Lily Pad. Always. Forever. For fucking eternity. I’m yours. Only yours.”
My breath hitched. This was it. This was ours. This was us. It took so long to get here that I would never take our happiness for granted ever again.
Lucas was right when he said that we came into each other’s lives when we needed it most. I wasn’t sure how, but I didn’t just love this man. I lived and breathed him. Our souls connected. Our beings intertwined. We fought hard, but we loved even harder.
He was mine. And I was his.
And this was ours.
Lucas
I DIDN’T WANT TO be here. I hated hospitals. I hated anything having to do with medical shit. And now I was stuck having to talk about my feelings.
With Lily’s hand firmly in mine, I waited for what felt like years before a large man approached us. His smile was warm and friendly, but his eyes were determined and focused. He was a man of business. A large man. He was still smaller than I was, but I also wasn’t stupid. I wouldn’t mess with him.
“Mr. and Mrs. Crane?” he asked, stopping just in front of us.
“Yes,” both of us answered at the same time.
“I’m Dr. Santos but please, call me Matteo.” He stuck his hand out.
We stood.
Lily returned his handshake first.
“It’s nice to meet you,” Matteo said, gearing his attention to me and sticking out his hand again.
“I don’t mean to be rude.” I shook his hand. “But I don’t want to be here.”
“I understand that.” His grip on my hand tightened. “But I promise, I will not judge. Whatever you have to tell me, stays with me and me only. Also, if you don’t want to be here, you can leave at any time.”
“Lucas,” Lily said gently. “Give it a chance. Just one chance. For me.”
My jaw clenched. “Fine.”
***
(Lily)
I held Lucas’s hand while he talked to Matteo who in turn would nod every so often. He wrote things down in his notepad. He commented when needed and asked questions where necessary but other than that, Lucas did most of the talking.
“You feel guilty,” Matteo pointed out, rubbing the graying black scruff on his tanned jaw. His dark eyes flicked to mine before glancing back at my husband.
“I do. I wish I could have saved them. I’m not sure if it was because I was the biggest of us all, even though I wasn’t the oldest. I just wish I could have done more. I felt like it was my job.” Lucas shifted beside me. “Honestly, I think I would have relapsed already if it hadn’t been for meeting Lily.”
“Really?” My head whipped around.
“Yeah.” He gave me a small smile. “I thought I was doing well even though I continued having nightmares. And then you came along and brought this light into the darkness of my life I never knew I needed. I was walking through shadows since I was a boy until you came along. Until you strode into Crane’s Ink and strutted around like you owned the damn place.”
I laughed, wiping a lonely tear that had fallen down my cheek.
“This woman has helped me,” Lucas told Matteo. “Because of her, I haven’t died with a needle sticking out of my arm.”
“I understand that.” Matteo crossed his ankle over his opposite knee. “I’m going to tell you a story. I know it’s unconventional, but I’ve never been known to do things the right way.”
“Okay...” Lucas released my hand and cupped my knee.
“I met my wife when I was going through a rough time. She had been through hell as well and we helped each other. We didn’t resort to drugs or alcohol but for us, we were addicted to sex. I’ll be honest with you. I’m a sadist and knowing my wife could give me what I needed, helped us both. It has helped me more than I have ever told her. Now we’ve been married for almost fifteen years with two beautiful children and we couldn’t be happier. Relationships are hard.” He pointed at us. “But the question is, do you want to put in the work? Are you willing to do whatever it takes to make each other happy? You have PTSD, Lucas. Severe PTSD. Especially after telling me about those things Mel had said to you that triggered memories. The mind can be fragile. Especially if broken. And unfortunately for you, it is. But I can see the growth already. I didn’t know you when all of this was going down, but I can see now how far you’ve come. And obviously, Lily has helped you through all of this.”
“I’m going to help him through his future too,” I added. “I lost my parents to a fire. That’s why I started drinking. And I have scars. I thought they were ugly, but Lucas made me realize that I’m a survivor as well.”
“Looks like meeting me is good for both of you,” Matteo said, giving me a wink.
I giggled, my cheeks heating.
Lucas coughed, tightening his grip on my knee.
I bit back an eye-roll. I couldn’t help it. Matteo was good looking. If you liked them older that is.
“You talk about your sexual desires like they’re nothing,” Lucas interjected. “You’re not ashamed of them?”
“No.” Matteo stood from the chair and headed to his desk. “I’ve learned over the years that with the right person, as long as it’s safe and consensual, it’s okay to like the darker side of sex. Just do your research, take lessons from a trained professional, whatever the case may be, and you’ll be just fine.”
Lucas was dominant, but our sex life wasn’t overly kinky. Not yet anyway.
“And with what you’ve been through, using sex as an out like you did before meeting Lily, makes sense,” Matteo added.
“Right.” Lucas closed up after that, not offering further information about his past. Matteo had his work cut out for him, but I knew that with time, Lucas would tell him everything and it would help him heal. Or at least make him feel better.
An hour later and Matteo was walking us out of his office. “So, was it that bad?”
Lucas grunted, and I couldn’t help but smi
le.
“No,” he grumbled. “Thank you.” He squeezed my hand, holding it tight. I realized then that he hadn’t let me go since we arrived at Matteo’s office.
“Of course. It’s my job.” Matteo rubbed the back of his neck. “Can I ask you a question? And this is coming from a parent.”
“Uh…sure.” Lucas stiffened.
“I need to know. Did they get theirs? Your adoptive parents.”
“Yeah.” Lucas relaxed. “They all did.” He had told Matteo about Killian, or Ronny as he was known as a kid, and Mel also.
“Good.” Matteo nodded, blowing out a slow breath. “Same time, next week?”
I looked up at Lucas then.
“Yeah, I think I need it.” Lucas shifted, giving his shoulders a small shrug.
“I’ll be here, Lucas. For as long as you need.” Matteo clapped him on the shoulder, gave me a small smile, and headed back into his office.
“How do you feel?” I asked Lucas.
“Emotionally raw.” He pinched my chin, placing a soft peck on my mouth. “Let’s go home, Lily Pad.”
***
(Lucas)
“Alright, Lily Pad.” I pulled off the glove. “I’m done.”
She sat up from the bed, swinging her legs over the edge.
It had been several hours since we went to see Dr. Santos for the first time. Once we arrived home, I had told her I wanted to give her a tattoo. She never even hesitated.
Lily looked down at the side of her stomach, her breath hitching. She looked at her reflection in the floor length mirror. Rising from the bed, she walked over to the mirror, checking out the phoenix I had tattooed on her. It was a mixture of oranges, yellows, and reds. The bird rose from the fire that was lightly tattooed on her scars.
“It’s…” Her eyes shone, her chin wobbling.
“Baby.” I walked up behind her. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
“It’s beautiful,” she whispered, wiping away a tear that had fallen down her cheek. “God, it’s beautiful. Lucas, you’re so damn talented.”
My cheeks burned at the compliment. “Thank you.”
“I mean it. I…” She sighed. “I feel like you’re branded on my soul.”
My body stirred at that. “I am.” I wrapped my arm around her, resting my chin on her shoulder. “You’re mine, Lily. We didn’t travel through hell together for nothing.”
Her jade eyes met mine in the mirror. “I want your name on me.”
My cock jumped. “What?”
She turned in my arms, pushing me back until I hit the edge of the bed. “I know you’ve said that it’s a cardinal rule not to tattoo a name on someone, but I need it. I’m yours. You’re mine. Like you said, we wouldn’t have traveled through hell together if this wasn’t meant to be. If we weren’t meant to last and stay together forever. Please, Lucas.”
I thought about it for a moment. My name on her skin. My name in her flesh. It would be a permanent reminder that she was, in fact, mine.
“Okay. I’ll do it.”
Her face lit up.
“But, on one condition.” I prepped the tattoo gun.
“What condition is that?”
“I want you to tattoo your name on me,” I told her, pulling on another pair of rubber gloves.
“What?” She laughed. “You can’t be serious. I don’t know anything about tattooing. And I’m not an artist.”
“You don’t need to be.” I handed her a piece of paper. “Write down your name.”
She hesitated, chewing her bottom lip.
“Lily.” I put the pen in her hand. “Do it.”
She wrote down her name and I did the same.
After I got the tattoo designs prepared, I chuckled at the deep frown set between her brows. “You have nothing to worry about. You should have seen some of my original tattoos. They were worse than what you can do. Trust me. And all you’re tattooing, is your name. There’s no shading, no color. Just your name.” I sat on the bed, straddling it and turned Lily toward me. “I need your name on my skin just like you need mine on yours.”
She took a deep breath. “Okay.”
“Where do you want my name?” I asked her.
“Right here.” She tapped the spot above her heart.
I smiled, placing a soft peck on her nose. “I’m your heart, baby?”
“Yeah,” she whispered.
I chuckled lightly.
An hour later, my name was marked in her skin. I never thought this would happen. It was usually against the rules to put a name on someone, knowing that relationships might not always work out. But this was different. This was needed. For both of us.
“Where do you want my name, Lucas?” Lily asked, her beautiful eyes meeting mine.
“On my right wrist.” I handed her the tattoo gun. “So every time I jerk off, I see your name.”
Lily coughed, a laugh escaping her. “Way to kill the mood.”
“Me? You’re the one who always makes everything about sex,” I reminded her.
She gasped. “Who me? I’m innocent.” She batted her eyelashes.
“Right,” I said slowly. “Hurry up and tattoo me, Lily Pad. The sooner it heals, the sooner I can test it out.”
“Geeze, Lucas.” Her cheeks reddened. “But you don’t need my name on your wrist to jerk off.”
“No.” I kissed her hard on the mouth. “I don’t. But it’s a nice added touch.”
She giggled, shaking her head. “Alright, baby. Tell me what to do.”
***
Sometime later
“Hello.” I took a deep breath, ignoring the eyes staring back at me. “My name is Lily Crane and I’m an alcoholic.”
“Hello, Lily.”
I gripped the sides of the podium, taking another deep breath. And another. “I’ve been sober for…God, almost ten years.”
A round of clapping erupted through the room. But the person who mattered most, sat in the front row, a huge grin spreading on his face.
I smiled back. “I couldn’t do it without my husband. Being with him has given me the strength I needed to overcome this disease. There have been so many times where I wanted a drink. But I’m sure we’ve all been there.” My thumb brushed over a crack in the wood. “I’ve never shared before. I don’t really know why. I know you all wouldn’t judge me. I just…I felt like my shares weren’t important enough. Maybe? I don’t know. But I do know that without the support of my husband and grandma, I would have relapsed already. This week has been extra hard. It’s been a year since she died.” My chest tightened. “She died happy though. She was almost eighty. But God, I miss her.” My eyes welled, that familiar burn, tingling the back of my nose. “I know she wouldn’t want me to give up. So…yeah. That’s all.”
Another round of clapping erupted through my ears.
I quickly left the stage and joined the empty chair beside Lucas.
“I’m proud of you, Lily Pad.” He kissed my temple. “So fucking proud of you.”
“Thank you.” My heart swelled. “Thank you for everything and for standing by me, even when it was hard and I was difficult.”
He cupped my face.
Wrapping my hand around his wrist, I brushed my thumb over the tattoo of my name. My body heated, remembering how it turned him on to have my name branded in his skin.
The meeting ended shortly after that. Lucas had come to mine for support and I went with him to his for the same. Sometimes our meetings intertwined but usually, they remained separate.
“Thank you for being by me when I was difficult too,” Lucas said once everyone was rounding up the chairs. He kissed me softly on the mouth. “I meant what I said when I married you three years ago.” He placed a hand on my swollen belly. “Through thick and thin. Through the good and the bad. I would walk through hell, as long as I have you by my side.”
I sniffed, tears rolling freely down my cheeks.
“I mean it, Lily Pad.” He hugged an arm around me, pulling me against him.
“God, I love you.” I leaned back, tapping my mouth.
He smirked, placing a hard kiss on my lips.
“Lily.”
My head snapped around, finding Lena coming toward us. “Lena.” I rushed to her and threw my arms around her.
She laughed, hugging me back.
“It’s been awhile.” She released me, smiling at us both. “I see it’s been a long while.” She pointed at my belly.
I sighed, cupping my stomach.
“Oh.” Her brows narrowed. “I got that envelope.”
Lucas shrugged, his face going impassive. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
She scoffed. “Right.”
I bit back a giggle. Lucas had been saving money for her and her daughter ever since Lena started going to him for tattoos. He said it was the least he could do after all the business she had brought in for him.
I fell in love with him even more at that point.
“How are you doing? Lily told me you got your daughter back and you have full custody now.” Lucas cupped the back of my neck.
It took Lena quite a while to get custody of her daughter, but she told me during our last phone conversation a few weeks ago, that her parents said her daughter needed to be with her mom. I was so happy for her.
“I do.” Lena’s smile widened. “I started going to meetings too. This is my first time at this one. I’ve been going to the one closer to my place since I moved.”
“I’m proud of you, Lena.” Lucas nodded as Toby and Sandra came toward us.
“Thank you.” Lena’s cheeks reddened. “I have to go but I just wanted to say hi in person and thank you both for everything.”
We gave her a hug, happy she was now making a better life for herself and her daughter.
I turned to Sandra, holding my arms out.
She laughed, closed the distance between us, and returned my hug.
“I am so happy to see you both,” she said, squeezing me. She leaned back, cupping my stomach. “How’s the little one?”
“Good.” My heart swelled. I still couldn’t believe I was growing a human inside of me.
“It’s been too long,” Sandra said. “How’s everything else? You guys good?”
