by Edward Albee
TOBIAS (Frustration; anger)
I’ve not been … wrestling with some … abstract problem! These are people! Harry and Edna! These are our friends, God damn it!
AGNES
Yes, but they’ve brought the plague with them, and that’s another matter. Let me tell you something about disease … mortal illness; you either are immune to it … or you fight it. If you are immune, you wade right in, you treat the patient until he either lives, or dies of it. But if you are not immune, you risk infection. Ten centuries ago—and even less—the treatment was quite simple … burn them. Burn their bodies, burn their houses, burn their clothes—and move to another town, if you were enlightened. But now, with modern medicine, we merely isolate; we quarantine, we ostracize—if we are not immune ourselves, or unless we are saints. So, your night-long vigil, darling, your reasoning in the cold, pure hours, has been over the patient, and not the illness. It is not Edna and Harry who have come to us—our friends—it is a disease.
TOBIAS
(Quiet anguish, mixed with impatience)
Oh, for God’s sake, Agnes! It is our friends! What am I supposed to do? Say: “Look, you can’t stay here, you two, you’ve got trouble. You’re friends, and all, but you come in here clean.” Well, I can’t do that. No. Agnes, for God’s sake, if … if that’s all Harry and Edna mean to us, then … then what about us? When we talk to each other … what have we meant? Anything? When we touch, when we promise, and say … yes, or please… with ourselves? … have we meant, yes, but only if … if there’s any condition, Agnes! Then it’s … all been empty.
AGNES (Noncommittal)
Perhaps. But blood binds us. Blood holds us together when we’ve no more … deep affection for ourselves than others. I am not asking you to choose between your family and … our friends. …
TOBIAS
Yes you are!
AGNES (Eyes closed)
I am merely saying that there is disease here! And I ask you: who in this family is immune?
CLAIRE (Weary statement of fact)
I am. I’ve had it. I’m still alive, I think.
AGNES
Claire is the strongest of us all: the walking wounded often are, the least susceptible; but think about the rest of us. Are we immune to it? The plague, my darling, the terror sitting in the room upstairs? Well, if we are, then … on with it! And, if we’re not …
(Shrugs)
well, why not be infected, why not die of it? We’re bound to die of something … soon, or in a while. Or shall we burn them out, rid ourselves of it all … and wait for the next invasion. You decide, my darling.
(Silence. TOBIAS rises, walks to the window; the others sit. HARRY and EDNA appear in the archway, dressed for the day, but not with coats)
EDNA (No emotion)
Good morning.
AGNES (Brief pause)
Ah, you’re up.
CLAIRE
Good morning, Edna, Harry.
(JULIA does not look at them; TOBIAS does, but says nothing)
EDNA
(A deep breath, rather a recitation)
Harry wants to talk to Tobias. I think that they should be alone. Perhaps …
AGNES
Of course.
(The three seated women rise, as at a signal, begin to gather the coffee things)
Why don’t we all go in the kitchen, make a proper breakfast.
HARRY
Well, now, no; you don’t have to …
AGNES
Yes, yes, we want to leave you to your talk. Tobias?
TOBIAS (Quiet)
Uh … yes.
AGNES (To TOBIAS; comfortingly)
We’ll be nearby.
(The women start out)
Did you sleep well, Edna? Did you sleep at all? I’ve never had that bed, but I know that when …
(The women have exited)
HARRY
(Watching them go; laughs ruefully)
Boy, look at ’em go. They got outa here quick enough. You’d think there was a …
(Trails off sees TOBIAS is ill at ease; says, gently)
Morning, Tobias.
TOBIAS (Grateful)
Morning, Harry.
(Both men stay standing)
HARRY (Rubs his hands together)
You, ah … you know what I’d like to do? Something I’ve never done in my life, except once, when I was about twenty-four?
TOBIAS (Not trying to guess)
No? What?
HARRY
Have a drink before breakfast? Is, is that all right?
TOBIAS
(Smiles wanly, moves slowly toward the sideboard)
Sure.
HARRY (Shy)
Will you join me?
TOBIAS (Very young)
I guess so, yes. There isn’t any ice.
HARRY
Well, just some whiskey, then; neat.
TOBIAS
Brandy?
HARRY
No, oh, God, no.
TOBIAS
Whiskey, then.
HARRY
Yes. Thank you.
TOBIAS (Somewhat glum)
Well, here’s to youth again.
HARRY
Yes.
(Drinks)
Doesn’t taste too bad in the morning, does it?
TOBIAS
No, but I had some … before.
HARRY
When?
TOBIAS
Earlier … oh, three, four, while you all were … asleep, or whatever you were doing.
HARRY (Seemingly casual)
Oh, you were … awake, hunh?
TOBIAS
Yes.
HARRY
I slept a little.
(Glum laugh)
God.
TOBIAS
What?
HARRY
You know what I did last night?
TOBIAS
No?
HARRY
I got out of bed and I … crawled in with Edna?
TOBIAS
Yes?
HARRY
She held me. She let me stay awhile, then I could see she wanted to, and I didn’t … so I went back. But it was funny.
TOBIAS (Nods)
Yeah.
HARRY
Do you … do you, uh, like Edna … Tobias?
TOBIAS (Embarrassed)
Well, sure I like her, Harry.
HARRY (Pause)
Now, Tobias, about last night, and yesterday, and our coming here, now …
HARRY
TOBIAS
I was talking about it to Edna, last night, and I said, “Look, Edna, what do we think we’re doing.”
I sat up all night and I thought about it, Harry, and I talked to Agnes this morning, before you all came down.
HARRY
I’m sorry.
TOBIAS
I said, I sat up all night and I thought about it, Harry, and I talked to Agnes, too, before you all came down, and … By God, it isn’t easy, Harry … but we can make it… if you want us to. … I can, I mean, I think I can.
HARRY
No … we’re … we’re going, Tobias.
TOBIAS
I don’t know what help … I don’t know how …
HARRY
I said: we’re going.
TOBIAS
Yes, but … you’re going?
HARRY (Nice, shy smile)
Sure.
TOBIAS
But, but you can try it here … or we can, God, I don’t know, Harry. You can’t go back there; you’ve got to …
HARRY
Got to what? Sell the house? Buy another? Move to the club?
TOBIAS
You came here!
HARRY (Sad)
Do you want us here, Tobias?
TOBIAS
You came here.
HARRY
Do you want us here?
TOBIAS
You came! Here!
HARRY
(Too clearly enunciated)
Do you want us here?
(Subdued, almost apologetic)
Edna and I … there’s… so much … over the dam, so many … disappointments, evasions, I guess, lies maybe … so much we remember we wanted, once … so little that we’ve … settled for … we talk, sometimes, but mostly … no. We don’t … “like.” Oh, sure, we like … but I’ve always been a little shy— gruff, you know, and … shy. And Edna isn’t … happy—I suppose that’s it. We … we like you and … and Agnes, and … well Claire, and Julia, too, I guess I mean … I like you, and you like me, I think, and … you’re our best friends, but … I told Edna upstairs, I said: Edna, what if they’d come to us? And she didn’t say anything. And I said: Edna, if they’d come to us like this, and even though we don’t have … Julia, and all of that, I … Edna, I wouldn’t take them in.
(Brief silence)
I wouldn’t take them in, Edna; they don’t … they don’t have any right. And she said: yes, I know; they wouldn’t have the right.
(Brief silence)
Toby, I wouldn’t let you stay.
(Shy, embarrassed)
You … you don’t want us, do you, Toby? You don’t want us here.
TOBIAS
(This next is an aria. It must have in its performance all the horror and exuberance of a man who has kept his emotions under control too long. TOBIAS will be carried to the edge of hysteria, and he will find himself laughing sometimes, while he cries from sheer release. All in all, it is genuine and bravura at the same time, one prolonging the other. I shall try to notate it somewhat)
(Softly, and as if the word were unfamiliar)
Want?
(Same)
What? Do I what?
(Abrupt laugh; joyous)
DO I WANT?
(More laughter; also a sob)
DO I WANT YOU HERE!
(Hardly able to speak from the laughter)
You come in here, you come in here with your … wife, and with your … terror! And you ask me if I want you here!
(Great breathing sounds)
YES! OF COURSE! I WANT YOU HERE! THIS IS MY HOUSE! I WANT YOU IN IT! I WANT YOUR PLAGUE! YOU’VE GOT SOME TERROR WITH YOU? BRING IT IN!
(Pause, then, even louder)
BRING IT IN!! YOU’VE GOT THE ENTREE, BUDDY, YOU DON’T NEED A KEY! YOU’VE GOT THE ENTREE, BUDDY! FORTY YEARS!
(Soft, now; soft and fast, almost a monotone)
You don’t need to ask me, Harry, you don’t need to ask a thing; you’re our friends, our very best friends in the world, and you don’t have to ask.
(A shout)
WANT? ASK?
(Soft, as before)
You come for dinner don’t you come for cocktails see us at the club on Saturdays and talk and lie and laugh with us and pat old Agnes on the hand and say you don’t know what old Toby’d do without her and we’ve known you all these years and we love each other don’t we?
(Shout)
DON’T WE?! DON’T WE LOVE EACH OTHER?
(Soft again, laughter and tears in it)
Doesn’t friendship grow to that? To love? Doesn’t forty years amount to anything? We’ve cast our lot together, boy, we’re friends, we’ve been through lots of thick OR thin together. Which is it, boy?
(Shout)
WHICH IS IT, BOY?! THICK?! THIN?! WELL, WHATEVER IT IS, WE’VE BEEN THROUGH IT, BOY!
(Soft)
And you don’t have to ask. I like you, Harry, yes, I really do, I don’t like Edna, but that’s not half the point, I like you fine; I find my liking you has limits. …
(Loud)
BUT THOSE ARE MY LIMITS! NOT YOURS!
(Soft)
The fact I like you well enough, but not enough … that best friend in the world should be something else—more—well, that’s my poverty. So, bring your wife, and bring your terror, bring your plague.
(Loud)
BRING YOUR PLAGUE!
(The four women appear in the archway, coffee cups in hand, stand, watch)
I DON’T WANT YOU HERE!
YOU ASKED?!
NO! I DON’T
(Loud)
BUT BY CHRIST YOU’RE GOING TO STAY HERE! YOU’VE GOT THE RIGHT! THE RIGHT! DO YOU KNOW THE WORD? THE RIGHT!
(Soft)
You’ve put nearly forty years in it, baby; so have I, and if it’s nothing, I don’t give a damn, you’ve got the right to be here, you’ve earned it
(Loud)
AND BY GOD YOU’RE GOING TO TAKE IT! DO YOU HEAR ME?! YOU BRING YOUR TERROR AND YOU COME IN HERE AND YOU LIVE WITH US! YOU BRING YOUR PLAGUE! YOU STAY WITH US! I DON’T WANT YOU HERE! I DON’T LOVE YOU! BUT BY GOD … YOU STAY!!
(Pause)
STAY!
(Softer)
Stay!
(Soft, tears)
Stay. Please? Stay?
(Pause)
Stay? Please? Stay?
(A silence in the room. HARRY, numb, rises; the women come into the room, slowly, stand. The play is quiet and subdued from now until the end)
EDNA (Calm)
Harry, will you bring our bags down? Maybe Tobias will help you. Will you ask him?
HARRY (Gentle)
Sure.
(Goes to TOBIAS, who is quietly wiping tears from his face, takes him gently by the shoulder)
Tobias? Will you help me? Get the bags upstairs? (TOBIAS nods, puts his arm around HARRY. The two men exit. Silence)
EDNA
(Stirring her coffee; slightly strained, but conversational)
Poor Harry; he’s not a … callous man, for all his bluff.
(Relaxing a little, almost a contentment)
He … he came to my bed last night, got in with me, I … let him stay, and talk. I let him think I … wanted to make love; he … it pleases him, I think—to know he would be wanted, if he … He said to me … He … he lay there in the dark with me—this man—and he said to me, very softly, and like a little boy, rather: “Do they love us? Do they love us, Edna?” Oh, I let a silence go by. “Well … as much as we love them … I should think.”
(Pause)
The hair on his chest is very gray … and soft. “Would … would we let them stay, Edna?” Almost a whisper. Then still again.
(Kindly)
Well, I hope he told Tobias something simple, something to help. We mustn’t press our luck, must we: test.
(Pause. Slight smile)
It’s sad to come to the end of it, isn’t it, nearly the end; so much more of it gone by … than left, and still not know—still not have learned … the boundaries, what we may not do … not ask, for fear of looking in a mirror. We shouldn’t have come.
AGNES (A bit by rote)
Now, Edna …
EDNA
For our own sake; our own … lack. It’s sad to know you’ve gone through it all, or most of it, without … that the one body you’ve wrapped your arms around … the only skin you’ve ever known … is your own—and that it’s dry … and not warm.
(Pause. Back to slightly strained conversational tone)
What will you do, Julia? Will you be seeing Douglas?
JULIA (Looking at her coffee)
I haven’t thought about it; I don’t know; I doubt it.
AGNES
Time.
(Pause. They look at her)
Time happens, I suppose.
(Pause. They still look)
To people. Everything becomes … too late, finally. You know it’s going on … up on the hill; you can see the dust, and hear the cries, and the steel … but you wait; and time happens. When you do go, sword, shield … finally … there’s nothing there … save rust; bones; and the wind.
(Pause)
I’m sorry about the coffee, Edna. The help must hide the beans, or take them with them when they go to bed.
EDNA
Oooh. Coffee and wine: they’re much the same with me—I can’t tell good from bad.
CLAIRE
Would anyone … besi
des Claire … care to have a drink?
AGNES (Muttered)
Oh, really, Claire.
CLAIRE
Edna?
EDNA (Little deprecating laugh)
Oh, good heavens, thank you, Claire. No.
CLAIRE
Julia?
JULIA
(Looks up at her; steadily; slowly)
All right; thank you. I will.
EDNA
(As AGNES is about to speak; rising)
I think I hear the men.
(TOBIAS and HARRY appear in the archway, with bags)
TOBIAS
We’ll just take them to the car, now.
(They do so)
EDNA
(Pleasant, but a little strained)
Thank you, Agnes, you’ve been … well, just thank you. We’ll be seeing you.
AGNES
(Rises, too; some worry on her face)
Yes; well, don’t be strangers.
EDNA (Laughs)
Oh, good Lord, how could we be? Our lives are … the same.
(Pause)
Julia … think a little.
JULIA (A trifle defiant)
Oh, I will, Edna. I’m fond of marriage.
EDNA
Claire, my darling, do be good.
CLAIRE
(Two drinks in her hands; bravura)
Well, I’ll try to be quiet.
EDNA
I’m going into town on Thursday, Agnes. Would you like to come?
(A longer pause than necessary, CLAIRE and JULIA look at AGNES)
AGNES (Just a trifle awkward)
Well … no, I don’t think so, Edna; I’ve … I’ve so much to do.
EDNA (Cooler; sad)
Oh. Well … perhaps another week.
AGNES
Oh, yes; we’ll do it.
(The men reappear)
TOBIAS
(Somewhat formal, reserved)
All done.
HARRY (Slight sigh)
All set.
AGNES
(Going to HARRY, embracing him)
Harry, my darling; take good care.
HARRY
(Kisses her, awkwardly, on the cheek)
Th-thank you, Agnes; you, too, Julia? You … you be good.
JULIA
Goodbye, Harry.
CLAIRE (Handing JULIA her drink)
’Bye, Harry: see you ’round.
HARRY (Smiles, a little ruefully)
Sure thing, Claire.
EDNA (Embraces TOBIAS)
Goodbye, Tobias … thank you.
TOBIAS (Mumbled)
Goodbye, Edna.
(Tiny silence)
