by Jill Sanders
He walked over and wrapped his arms around her.
“I’m sorry.” He placed a kiss on the top of her head and she melted back into him.
“By the time I was fifteen, I’d already started cutting myself.” She turned over her arms and showed him the light scars that you could only see if you looked really close. “Then, I would come here.” She looked around. “Before they built the new bridge, I would sit on the edge, dangle my feet over, and dream about just leaning forward.”
She felt him tense and closed her eyes.
“Savannah stopped me one day. I heard her coming… she was walking her daughter. I had written my parents a letter and had planned on it being that day. But she talked to me.” Her throat closed up and her breath hitched. “She never understood what that meant to me. How much a simple conversation could mean to a girl who had never had a friend. She made me promise to come again the next night and then the next. It seemed to help for a while. I felt the depression slipping to the back of my mind, but then I decided to change myself like she suggested. ‘If you don’t like what you see in the mirror, change it.’ It sounded simple.” She sighed and opened her eyes.
Luke’s arms were wrapped tight around her. She knew he was waiting for her to continue.
“I went to the Grocery Stop and bought a box of hair dye and a few girl magazines. I pulled my mother’s good scissors out and tried my best to make myself look like the girls in the pictures. I even convinced my mother to let me go clothes shopping in Tyler. Of course, we didn’t have a lot of money, so I was limited. And, to be honest, I had no sense of style. The next day when I went to school, I was pretty proud of my new look.”
She took a step out of his arms and crossed her arms over her chest, missing his warmth. But she needed to stand on her own.
“What happened?” he asked, moving beside her.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Let’s just say, I ran home in the rain, more determined than ever to stop the pain. I pulled the very vague note I’d written months before out and laid it on my pillow. Then, I walked here, to the bridge and didn’t even hesitate.” He reached for her, but she jerked away. “I’m broken.” She didn’t mean for it to come out so loud.
“No, Tracy was broken. Theresa was a child her parent’s always dreamed of having. Tessa is the strongest woman I’ve ever known.” He walked to her and this time, when he gathered her up in his arms, she went willingly.
“What happened next?” he asked after a moment of silence.
“I… I crawled out of the water. It was winter. The water level was pretty low, so when I hit the water, I hit the bottom. I remember hearing my leg shatter under water.” She shivered. “When I first tried to pull myself out, I slipped and broke my arm on a rock.” She glanced over at her arm and remembered the pain. “I was in so much pain… I freaked. At that moment, I realized that nothing was as bad as the pain. So, I crawled out of the water. Soaked, freezing, broken. I cried until my eyes were dry and my mind was clear. I lay there and watched the stars overhead. I was in and out of consciousness. My parents went to the cops, who couldn’t officially report me missing for twenty-four hours. By the next morning, my mother had gone to Savannah’s and then they came here. Billy found me, there.” She nodded and pointed to the side of the river. It was too dark now to see clearly, but the memory of that bank would be imbedded in her mind for the rest of her life. “They saved me.”
“No,” he broke in. “You saved yourself.”
She looked up at him and smiled. “You saved me, too.”
***
“Me?” There was no way he could explain how much it meant to him that she’d opened up to him. What it did to him to hear the pain and sorrow she’d gone through as a child. The way he’d reacted to the events of the last year of his life seemed childish now that he’d heard what she’d gone through. “How have I saved you?”
She smiled. “I wasn’t going to stay in Fairplay.”
“Everyone knew that,” he joked and she shook her head.
“I would have probably spent years roaming around, not knowing where I belonged. Because of you, I’m home.” She leaned up and kissed him.
“You’re the one who saved me.” When she shook her head, he stopped her. “I was running from the pain. I’d pretty much talked myself into never being happy again. The guilt I’d felt, holding it all in…” He closed his eyes and rested his head on hers. “It was too deep.”
She nodded and wrapped her arms around him.
“Because of you, I’ve found what I was made for.” He looked into her brown eyes and wished more than anything that he could see clearly. The moonlight and stars were not bright enough to shine on her face.
He took her hand in his and started moving.
“Luke?” She chuckled. “What are you doing?”
“Dancing with the woman I love.” He leaned down and kissed her. “The one I want to be with for the rest of my life. The one who will hold my child in her arms, cradle our love in her heart.” He hadn’t realized he was singing, until a tear fell down her face. “You’ll hold my hand; you’ll take my heart with every kiss. Our love with grow; it will spread to the stars. We’ll always be together; and never apart.” He whispered the last next to her ear. “I love you, Tessa. Say you will marry me.”
He felt her chest heave and pulled back. Her eyes were wet and she had a huge smile on her lips. “I only wish I had the right words to sing back to you. Something half as beautiful as what you’ve given me.”
“You do… All you have to do is say yes.”
“Yes,” she said as they danced under the stars on the very bridge where the old her had died.
Epilogue
Tessa stood back and watched the yard full of kids and laughed. She’d changed from her mother’s cream-colored wedding dress, which she’d had altered slightly to fit her taller frame. She was wearing a sundress covered in flowers and had her red boots on underneath. Most of the other wedding guests were dressed casually as well.
Deciding to have a true country wedding was the best decision she’d made. Well, besides marrying the sexiest cowboy alive. At least that’s what the magazines were calling him.
Their album had hit the shelves and had quickly topped all the charts. They were heading out to tour together in less than three weeks, which meant a very short honeymoon. She didn’t mind; they were looking at the tour as part of their honeymoon. Especially since she’d never been to most of the places they were booked at.
“How’s my wife?” Luke came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.
“Perfect.” She took a deep breath. “Nothing could make this day better.” She felt her heart skip. “Well…”
“Your mother?” he asked.
She nodded. “I miss her.”
“I wish I could have gotten to know her.” He turned her around and kissed her softly.
“It’s funny. If she hadn’t been sick, I wouldn’t have come home. And we wouldn’t have met. So, in a way, because of her, I have you.” She sighed.
“Bittersweet?”
“Yeah,”
“Well, everyone was wondering when we’re going to ride off into the sunset.” He smiled and turned as Tex and Speedy walked towards them.
The two horses had white flowers braided into their manes and tails. Their saddles had lace and ribbons tied to them.
She frowned and then laughed when she heard clanking and leaned over to see several empty beer cans trailing behind them.
“What have you done to my horse?”
“Me?” He laughed. “Talk to Savannah and Alex. I think even Haley had a hand in this.”
She smiled. “My friends.” She shook her head.
“What?” He pulled her closer.
“Nothing, I was just thinking that saying my friends sounds almost as good as saying my husband.”
He kissed her until the cheers broke them apart. “Well?” He smiled down at her. “How about riding away w
ith me into the sunset and living happily ever after?”
She took a deep breath. “That sounds perfect.”
He helped her up on her horse, then jumped up on the back of Tex. When he held out his hand for hers, she took it without hesitation.
“Shall we, Mrs. James?” He smiled over at her.
“Yes, I think we shall.” She kicked lightly and sent the horses across the field towards the setting sun and a new chapter of her life. She knew it was going to be nothing but wonderful.
Finding Pride -Chapter One
As the sun disappeared behind a dark cloud, a white sedan crept slowly down the winding road. A wall of trees on either side gave the impression that the only way out was to forge ahead. The black pavement weaved around tight bends, up and down rolling hills. If you could witness the scene from above, it would appear similar to a white mouse running through a maze on its way to find some cheese.
Several minutes had passed since the last open field. Every now and then a quick glance of a farmhouse or a barn would appear. But for now, the only view was the gray of the sky, the green of the trees, and the dark surface of the road.
The car was traveling towards freedom that had come at the worst price: death. Megan Kimble had just lost the last of her family.
Hours later, the sun peeked out of the clouds, landing on the small crowd gathered around a casket. Mist and fog hung in the afternoon air. The sun’s rays made the hill overlooking the small town of Pride, Oregon, appear to be cut off from civilization, like an island floating in a sea of fog. Not a sound came from the gathered mourners. Each person stood with their head down, looking at the dark, wet wood of the casket.
Megan stood in front of the crowd dressed in a dark skirt and a black raincoat. She looked down as tears silently rolled down her cheeks. Her long blonde hair was neatly tied back with a clip. The right sleeve of her coat hung empty, and her arm was tucked close to her body, encased in a white cast from her upper arm to just above her wrist.
Looking up, she gazed around the cemetery, not really noticing the people, only the old and crumbled headstones. Her eyes paused on a tall figure in the distance that appeared to hover above the mist. Blinking a few times to clear the moisture from her eyes, she realized it was a huge headstone in the shape of an angel with arms outstretched towards the heavens. It seemed to be reaching up in desperation, in need of a helping hand to ascend above.
Her thoughts drifted to Matt, and she looked back down at the casket. He had always called her his little angel. Looking at the simple wooden casket through teary eyes, she remembered her brother’s face as it looked fifteen years ago when she had awakened in a hospital bed with her young body covered in bruises, the memories of violence by her father’s hand gone, along with their parents’ lives.
Matt’s was the first face she had seen in the cold sterile room. His face had been streaked with tears, his eyes red as he’d comforted her. “Little Meg, everything will be okay. I’ll take care of you now. Don’t worry my little angel.”
Her thoughts snapped back to the cemetery as they lowered the casket into the wet ground. What had she ever done to deserve such a great brother? What had she ever given back to him? He’d given up everything for her, yet she couldn’t think of one thing she’d given him except lies.
Feeling hopeless and isolated, she began to wonder what she had left to live for. Why continue? She was all alone now; there was no one left to share her life with. Realizing it was probably Derek’s influence causing her dark thoughts, she tensed. Lifting her head, she tried to dismiss the thoughts of her ex-husband. He didn’t matter anymore, she told herself. He was out of her life forever.
As she stood in the old cemetery surrounded by a hundred strangers, she felt utterly alone. Matt had been her family, the only family that had really mattered. She had an aunt somewhere, but she hadn’t seen or heard from the woman in over fifteen years.
Glancing over, she noticed the priest walking towards her and quickly wiped the tears from her face. He was a short, stout man who was dressed in long, black robes. He wore a wide-brimmed hat that covered his curly silver hair. His face seemed gentle and kind. She could see that his eyes were red from his own tears. He had been very generous in the words he’d spoken about her brother during the short service.
She wasn’t Catholic. Neither was her brother, but at this point she wasn’t going to object. It had been a wonderful service and so many people had turned out. She didn’t know who had organized the service, but she was sure that the priest had had a big hand in it.
“Hello, dear, I’m Father Michael. We spoke on the phone a few days ago,” he said, as he took her by the hand. His hands were warm and comforting. “Matt was such a nice young man. I’ll miss him dearly.”
“Thank you. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to get here sooner. I would have helped you plan his service—”
“Don’t mention it. We all pitched in to help. That’s the wonderful thing about small towns.” He smiled and patted her hand a little. “The people in Pride don’t usually take to strangers, but Matt just fit in. He became part of the family, you might say. I know he wasn’t Catholic, but he did enjoy a good sermon and always attended our social events. Your brother was very well liked around here.”
It didn’t sound like he was talking about her brother. Matt had always been somewhat of a loner and had never really taken to crowds. But then again, they’d grown apart from each other when he’d moved out west to Oregon.
As the priest continued talking to her about Matt and the town of Pride, she looked around at the crowd of strangers in the muddy cemetery. It appeared that the whole town had braved the wet weather for her brother’s funeral. There were numerous faces, both young and old, many weatherworn from years on local fishing boats. She was used to being in crowds, having lived in a large city most of her life, but now it felt like every set of eyes were on her.
Shaking her head clear and taking another look around, she could see that, in fact, almost no one was looking directly at her. As her eyes scanned around, something else caught her gaze. A pair of the lightest silver-blue eyes she’d ever seen looked back at her through the crowd. The man stood a head taller than everyone else around him, and he was staring directly at her. For a moment, she forgot everything, including blinking.
The man had dark brown wavy hair, which was a little long and reached over his coat collar. From what she could see of him under his leather coat, he appeared to be thin. His face could have easily been etched in marble and put on display. His jaw was strong with the smallest of clefts in his chin. His lips were full and his nose was straight, but it was his eyes that caught her attention again. He was staring at her like he wanted to say something to her from across the crowded cemetery.
When Father Michael stepped between them, he broke the trance she’d been in. Blinking, she tried to refocus on the short priest. He was attempting to encourage her to stop by the church for services sometime.
“Megan, I feel like you’re already part of the flock. I’m sure we’ll be seeing you next week. If there is anything we can do for you, just let me know,” the father said while patting her hand. “You will let us know if you need any help moving in, what with your hurt arm and all.”
She looked down at her right arm enclosed in the white cast. She had it tucked closely under her raincoat, which she had left unzipped. The pain was a dull throb now, but that didn’t make the terrible memories go away.
“The Jordan’s are your nearest neighbors. They were very good friends of Matt’s. The two boys are young and strong. I’m sure they’ll be glad to come down and help you move in your things.” There was a matchmaking look in the man’s eyes, and she tried to take a step backwards, but her hand was still engulfed by his larger one. “And I’m sure their sister is looking forward to getting them out of her hair for a few hours,” he said with a wink.
“Thank you, Father. I’ll try to stop by the church for services. I don’t have much to move in, only
a few bags, but thank you for offering.” It was the truth. Megan had sold what little furniture she had left. In fact, she’d been living out of her suitcase for the past few weeks.
“Well, now, if you change your mind, let me know,” he said, patting her hand one more time.
Just then a large woman walked up to them. She had on a very bright blue dress covered in white flowers. Over it, she had a slick black raincoat that covered only half of the dress and half of the woman. She reminded Megan of a peacock all dressed up with its feathers ruffled.
“Father Michael, you let go of that girl’s hand so I can shake it. It’s a great pleasure to finally meet you, Megan,” the woman said while shaking her hand with a firm, warm grip. “I’m Patty O’Neil. I run the local grocery store. I’ve heard lots about you from your dear departed brother, God bless him.” The woman quickly crossed herself and continued. “I’m sure proud to finally meet you. O’Neil’s Grocery. It’s right down on Main Street. You can’t miss it,” she said. “It’s been in my family for generations. Well, if there is anything we can do…” She trailed off as the next person approached her.
And so it went, the entire town shaking her hand and offering their help in any manner possible.
Todd Jordan silently watched Matt’s younger sister. He’d recognized her instantly from the picture Matt had kept on his desk. She was a lot thinner now and very pale. She looked lost. Her broken arm, which she held against her tiny body, made her look even more so. He’d scanned her from head to toe when she’d arrived at the cemetery. The raincoat she wore reached halfway down her slender body, and her heels looked very sensible as they sat halfway sunk in the mud.
He remembered Matt telling him that she was recently divorced but couldn’t remember any more details. All he knew was that his friend hadn’t been happy about the circumstances. His thoughts were interrupted when Father Michael approached him.
