by Lady Lissa
“Yea, well we made up. What y’all want?”
“I need your advice,” I said.
“Oh shit! What did you do now?” Ronnie asks.
“Shut up Ron and just listen. Rico was asking me questions about working at the club. He said that bitch Tasha told him that some of the dancers give men private shows. Like he was hinting to find out if I was giving private shows,” I said nervously.
“So what did you tell him?” Cruz asks.
“I told him that the bitch was lying to break us up and that he is the only man I love. I’m scared y’all. I’m scared he’s gonna find out that I’ve been fucking while he was away and not want nothing to do with me. I love him y’all and I can’t lose him,” I say as the tears start to flow.
“I think you should tell him the truth Van. Rico loves you and if you’re honest with him, I think he will forgive you. But on the other hand, if he finds out from someone else, he may not ever forgive you. I just think he will handle it better if it comes from you,” Ronnie says.
“Yea I’m with Ron on this one. Can you imagine how he will feel if he finds out you have been having sex from Malcolm or one of those other fools? I know Malcolm is already pissed because Rico kicked his ass. So what if he went up to Rico just to start some shit? You need to sit him down and tell him yourself, before it’s too late,” Cruz says.
“I don’t know y’all. I just love him and wish I had never done that,” I cry.
“It’s too late for all that sis. You need to nip this thing in the butt now before someone does it for you,” Ronnie says.
I’m listening to my sisters and I know they’re right, but how can I tell Rico that shit? How can I tell him that I’ve been screwing around, instead of waiting for him like I told him I would? He will hate me and never forgive me for lying to him?
“Sis, sis,” I hear Cruz calling me.
“Huh? What?” I asked, snapping out of my reverie.
“What are you going to do? Are you going to tell him? Do you need us to be there with you for moral support?” Cruz asks.
“Yea, we can do that for you sis. We love you and will always be here for you. If you need us to sit with you and hold your hand while you tell him, we can do that,” Ronnie says.
“Thank y’all for offering to do that, but I’m not ready to tell him yet. I just can’t,” I said.
“You need to sis. I know it’s hard and you don’t want to, but things will be ten times worse if you don’t tell him yourself,” Ronnie says.
“I just can’t. Thanks for listening. I will call you guys tomorrow. I love y’all,” I said.
“We love you too,” they both reply before we end the call.
I place my phone on the charger and slip back into bed with Rico. He reaches for me and asks, “Where were you?”
“I just needed to tell my sisters that I was okay and good night,” I lie.
“You and your sisters tighter than a girdle on a fat bitch, but I love that about y’all. Y’all love each other and don’t take shit from no one, with y’all lil’ bad asses. I love you so much Van,” he says as he kisses my forehead before drifting back to sleep.
I hold him and wonder if he will feel the same way one he finds out I’ve been sharing my cookies and, that I not only opened the cookie jar, but I didn’t close it, at all. “I love you more,” I whisper as I close my eyes and hope that sleep will come soon.
Chapter Seventeen
Cruz
I plug the white charger cord into the bottom of my phone and place it back on the nightstand. I lay back and look up at the ceiling with my hands resting behind my head. I look over at Vega and he looks like he’s still asleep. Thank God. I do not need him all in Vanity’s business. That’s all she needs is for this nigga to go running his mouth to Rico. Hell, we got problems of our own that he needs to be concerned about.
He rolls over in the bed and scoots closer to me. He throws one of his arms across my stomach and grunts loudly. I don’t understand how he’s sleep, but still woke enough to look for me. He moves around a little before he’s still again. Once I’m no longer concerned with what he has going on, I go back to my thoughts. Vega swears up and down that this little baby isn’t his and he has no clue as to why Gabriella would lie to me, but what kind of shit is that?
I mean, I know women are trifling and all but still. Being that I have no idea who this chick is or how she knows who I am, I want to believe her. Maybe it’s the attitude she had with me, or maybe it’s because Vega spends so much time in Puerto Rico. Whatever it is, it’s driving me mad. I just want my life to go back to what it used to be with me and my man and that’s it; no sideline hoes, no hidden baby mama’s and especially no gotdamn babies.
“What’s on your mind?” Vega’s voice startles me so bad I jump.
I had no idea this nigga was still awake.
“You, your baby, and how I’ma deal with this shit.”
He grunts again, this one sounds a little angry.
“How many times you want me to tell you, that baby ain’t mine?”
“As many times as it takes for me to believe you!”
I already know that comment is going to get under his skin but I don’t give a damn. It should, especially since I found out it’s been getting under mine. He sits up and the covers drop around his waist. He turns slightly so that he’s looking down at me. For a long time he says nothing just looks. It’s annoying the mess out of me so I roll my eyes and look away.
“All that ain’t even necessary mami.”
“Well, you just stare at me instead of saying what’s on your mind. What you want me to do?”
“I want you to be my wife.”
My breath is caught in my chest because I know he didn’t just ask me to marry him. He couldn’t have, not in the middle of an argument about him having a baby on me. I know like hell he didn’t just ruin my one special moment with that bullshit. The more I think about it the angrier I get.
“Cruz, marry me.”
“Vega, fuck you.”
Now it’s his turn to look crazy. His eyes are wide and he actually looks shocked.
“That’s all you have to say to me?”
“That’s all you had to say to me. How can you ask me that, while we’re like this? Why did you ruin this for me? I want a beautiful proposal and you do this? Hell no! I won’t marry your ass.”
I hop out the bed and walk out the room. I’m taking the stairs two at a time trying to get as far away from his as I can. I don’t even feel like looking at Vega right now. I’ve loved Vega for too long for him to pull a stunt like this. We’ve talked about marriage in the past, hell we talk about it all the time for real, and he knows how over the top I want my wedding and proposal to be. When I reach the big white sofa in his living room, I plop down and curl into a ball. I’m not really in the mood to watch TV, so I just lay in the dark.
“Cruz, get your ass back up these fucking stairs.” Vega is standing at the top of the stairs in nothing but his pajama bottoms.
“Just leave me alone.”
His voice raises an octave. “I’m done playing with your spoiled ass. Get the fuck up right now and get back upstairs in this bed.”
I sit in the dark staring at this nigga because he has some nerve, but I’d be lying if I said this shit wasn’t turning me on. Vega never talks to me in a rude way. He’s always so gentle and caring, even with the curse words. So for him to be trying to make me do something, is a fucking turn-on. Instead of getting up, I lay here a little longer to see how rough he’s really going to get.
When I see him descending the stairs and headed towards me, I get excited as hell. I have to hold my legs together to keep from jumping up and wrapping them around his waist. He stops in front of me on the sofa and leans down to grab my arms. I snatch away only for him to snatch it right back. This nigga’s grip is so tight on my arm, I almost regret letting him get this mad. But then he yanks me up and throws me over his shoulder. I change my mind that fast, and I�
��m back enjoying this shit. My head is hanging over his shoulder and my butt is in the air. He slaps my ass hard when I bite his back.
“Don’t you start no shit with me. I’m already tired of you and this fucking mood you been in. I got something for that shit.”
“Oh shit, what you got for me daddy?” I’m filled with lust and it comes out in my voice.
“Nah, cut all that daddy shit out. I ain’t even fucking with you tonight. You got on my last fucking nerve with that bullshit.” We finally make it into his room and he slams me down so hard on the bed, I bounce back up a few times.
“Take off that fucking shirt.” Vega commands as he snatches his pants off.
I pull my shirt over my head in a hurry and wait for him to tell me what to do next. He pulls me by my feet to the edge of the bed and forces me down to my knees.
“You about to suck this dick until you find something else to do with your mouth. You been talking shit for the last couple of weeks, but I got a remedy for all that.” He pushes my head forward until my mouth is on him and I can barely breathe. It’s so far down my throat, I start to gag but this bastard still didn’t move. As a matter of fact he pushes my head further. Water is in my eyes and everything but my pussy is wet as hell.
“Ahhh yeah. Talk that shit now, Cruz.”
I can’t say a damn thing because I honestly don’t have shit to say. I just get with the groove and start sucking the best I can with him being so rough. He’s saying all kinds of rude nasty shit and I’m taking every bit of it. Once he’s finally about to bust, he pulls out and shoots it across my chest. I stay on my knees waiting. He needs to tell me it’s okay for me to move now or something. I don’t know what I can and can’t do right now.
“Go clean yourself up. Lose the fucking attitude before you come back.” Vega walks over to the bed after cleaning himself and gets in.
Once he is settled, I turn on the shower and get in. I sit on the bench letting the water run over my body. I need to do something ASAP, something that will put us back where we need to be. I’m tired of all the fussing and fighting. True enough, I’ve initiated most of it but he started it when his bitch approached me on some hoe shit.
I wreck my brain trying to come up with something to get to the bottom of this madness and can’t come up with anything. I know I’ve been in this shower for a good thirty minutes and haven’t figured out one thing. Fed up and exhausted, I get out and dry off. On my way to the bedroom, it hits me. It hits me like a ton of bricks too. I have an idea. It is crazy as shit, but I have to pull it off. This is probably the only thing to make everything between me and my baby go back to normal again.
I slip into bed naked and snuggle against his chest. He raises his arm so I can scoot closer. He pulls me tight against his chest and kisses my forehead. If I hadn’t been sure of my idea before, I am now. This is my man, my life, my world. I will do anything to keep it this way.
Chapter Eighteen
Vega
I don’t know what it is about me and Cruz’s relationship, but shit just ain’t right when we off. Whenever something is going on, I can always feel it and so can she. That’s why I’m about to go half-crazy looking for her. When I woke up this morning she was gone; no letter, no text, no nothing. That was almost five hours ago and I still ain’t heard from her. I don’t think I would feel this bad if I hadn’t noticed some of the drawers she kept her clothes in still open with clothes hanging out. There were even some hangers dangling from different spots in her closet.
As much as I didn’t want to believe it, she had left. I thought for sure we were going to get through this, but apparently I was wrong as hell. I thought Cruz was tougher than this shit. I just knew what we had would outlast anything like this, but I’ll be damned if I ain’t wrong. Her ass done took her shit and left. I sit on the edge of the bed with my head in my hands trying to think of my next move. I don’t want to call her sisters because I already know they ain’t diming her out, so that would be pointless. Talking to their moms wouldn’t lead me to much of anything either.
She probably couldn’t get a dick out of her mouth long enough to tell me shit anyways. My head is spinning in circles, as I inhale the smoke from the blunt I just lit. I need something to calm my damn nerves before I blow up. Resting backwards on my elbows, I look straight ahead at my reflection in the mirror. I’m in need of a haircut and my eyes are red. Thanks to Cruz’s ass, I been neglecting my own gotdamn self. I look down at my phone as it vibrates across my lap. It’s Rico.
“What’s up nigga?” I answer.
To my surprise, instead of hearing Rico’s voice, its Vanity’s coming through the earpiece. “Hey Vega, let me speak to Cruz real quick. She ain’t answering her phone for me.”
I feel like somebody just lit my chest on fire because I’m so hot. “What you mean she ain’t answering her phone for you? You don’t know where she at?”
“First of all Vega, who you think you yelling at? And secondly, no nigga, I don’t know where she at. That’s why I’m calling your phone to speak with her.”
“Got dammit man!”
“What’s going on?” Vanity asks, a little more alarmed now.
“When I woke up she was gone. She took clothes and shit with her without saying a word to me. I don’t even know where her ass is at.”
“Damn. I haven’t talked to her since last night. Let me call my mama and Ronnie. I’ll call you back.”
Vanity hangs up before I can even say anything else. I throw my phone across the room and it hits the floor. I instantly realize how dumb that shit was. If she decides to call she sure as hell can’t talk to me if the shit is broken. I pick it up and luckily the only thing wrong with is the screen is cracked. I stuff it down in my pocket and leave the room.
I need to do something to get my mind off this shit. I decided to go to my warehouse. It’s some shit that needs to be taken care of there anyway. I still ain’t figured out who robbed me for my shit. I speed down the highway not really giving a fuck about the police. Shit in my life is fucked up right about now anyway. I am turning into the parking lot when my phone rings. It says Rico but I don’t know if it’s him or Vanity.
“Yo.”
“Aye, my nigga what’s up? Vanity over here wilding, saying some shit about Cruz. What’s going on? Y’all a'ight over there?”
I sigh heavily.
“I don’t know where the fuck she at. I woke up and she was gone. We ain’t really been on the best of terms lately, but I sho didn’t think she was gone leave my ass.”
“Damn, that’s fucked up.”
“I know. But I’m at the warehouse now. Bring yo ass out here and help me put some shit together.”
“Let me get dressed and I’m on it.”
“Bet.”
I hang the phone up and grab my shit to get out the car. I walk slowly to the door so I can sneak up on my workers, but that shit didn’t work. They ass is in here doing exactly what I pay them to do, work. Not one person looks to be doing anything out of the ordinary. Although I’m in the mood to bust some heads wide open, I’m happy I ain’t got to. As crazy as it may sound, I’m not even really in the mood for nothing like that. I need some time and space before I spazz the fuck out.
As soon as I sit at my desk, Tamara walks in. She’s dressed in some tight ass shit as usual and she looks fucking delicious, but I ain’t got time for that shit either.
“The nine o’clock delivery was on time boss.”
“Cool. Have them niggas chop that shit up and label it.” I refer to the newly imported guns we just received.
“Yes sir.” She turns to exit the door.
“Aye Tamara, can you bring me a pint of Crown from the back?”
“Yes sir.” This time she leaves.
I know I shouldn’t be drinking right now, but I need to get faded for a little while. Maybe this shit with Cruz will make more sense after that. It doesn’t take Tamara long before she’s back in the room with the liquor and a shot glass. I tha
nk her, as she sits it down on my desk.
“If you need anything else, just let me know.”
I can hear the flirtation in her voice, but I dismiss it. Women ain’t shit but a fucking headache. I don’t need no more gotdamn women problems. I sip on the brown slowly after tossing back the first five shots. By the time Rico gets here, I’m already faded.
“My nigga, what the fuck yo?”
“Let’s just handle this shit so I can go home.” My speech slurs a little.
Rico looks at me and shakes his head. He doesn’t say anything, but I can tell he wants to. Instead, he pulls up the chair beside me and pulls out the roster of our workers and their routes. We each study the paper intently. We have to find whatever nigga that’s been hitting us up for our shit. Maybe after that, I can find my fucking girlfriend and figure out what the fuck is wrong with her ass.
Chapter Nineteen
Ronnie
I don't know where Cruz is, but I have a feeling deep down that she’s okay and just doesn’t want to be found. I knew that when she had stuff going on most of the time, she liked to keep it to herself. So I send another text to her phone letting her know that I love her. I sit in my boring bio class and can’t help but tap my pencil on the paper. Lately, my thoughts have been consumed with Turk and what he’s doing when I’m not around. I don’t want to say that our relationship is tainted, but I would be lying to myself if I said that it isn’t. I just don’t feel like I can completely trust him. Before that chick Tay came along, I had no ill thoughts about Turk, but now I wonder just how deep he is in with the chick. No woman would be acting a fool for no reason, especially over a nigga that ain’t hers. I have been slacking in school ever since I found out they were messing around.
Because of all the shit on my mind, I even failed a test. So for the past two weeks I have been stuck in my dorm room, trying to get my grades back on track. With all of the drama that Vanity and Cruz have going on with them and their relationships, I’m not sure if a relationship is really something that I am ready for. I enjoyed the freedom and peace of mind that I had before I started messing with Turk. As the professor writes on the big chalk board, I take down notes all while feeling my phone vibrating on my hip. I know that my professor doesn’t allow us to use our phones in class, so whoever is texting me is just going to have to wait. I really hope that it’s not Turk.
