“Call me after your meeting, babe,” Mack said and kissed Sammi’s lips. “I want to hear all about it.”
Sammi nodded silently as Mack hurried out of the bedroom. Then she sank back into the pillows, feeling more tired than she should after her good night of sleep. Her stomach was unsettled, and she quickly realized that she was familiar with this all-over queasiness. But she had her second meeting with her publisher that afternoon to finalize all the details of her first two printed books, and she needed to get ready.
Once Sammi showered and flattened her too-long blonde hair, she changed into a pretty purple blouse and white dress pants and finally made her way into the city. Mack didn’t know it, but Sammi didn’t like the city anymore, not without her beautiful friends who were supposed to still be there. She was glad that Mack had dropped the idea of transferring precincts because she didn’t want to live in the city, but she would have in order to keep Mack’s squad together. This publishing company was the first thing to get her to leave Long Island since the night she returned home with Mack from Eli’s old apartment, and this second trip was at least easier than the first. She often dreamt about taking Mack to see California and possibly starting a new life with him out there, but she would never ask Mack to leave his children or his job. And she couldn’t really imagine leaving Mazzeline either because he was the closest thing she had to a friend anymore.
Sammi’s meeting ended up being quick, not even a full hour, in Stephanie’s office, which was very modern chic with low lighting and dark furniture. Sammi and Stephanie had been on the same page ever since Stephanie came to accept that Sammi’s characters were real people and that Sammi wasn’t going to downplay Eli’s temper for her. She liked Sammi’s second book even less because of Sammi’s multiple brushes with death, but she couldn’t deny that it was even better written than the story of her friends. Stephanie had been nothing but friendly and helpful throughout this entire process, which Sammi appreciated, and she would prefer to work with Stephanie over anybody else on any possible future projects.
“If you’re satisfied with the way everything looks, all that’s left to do is write your acknowledgments, which you can just email to me by the end of the week,” Stephanie said at the end of the meeting.
“Wow, thank you for everything,” Sammi said, shaking Stephanie’s hand. “You made this even easier than you had to for me.”
“I said it when I first met you and I’ll say it again,” Stephanie replied. “You’re an incredible writer. Keep it up because I want more from you.”
Sammi smiled and waved goodbye as she slipped out of Stephanie’s office. She was feeling undeniably relieved, having finally taken care of all the daunting details of her first two books. But a wave of nausea crashed over her as she slid behind the wheel of her car and she suddenly remembered that she had to stop at the store on her way home. Her mind was distant as she called Mack from her car and she felt bad that she didn’t return his excitement regarding her books, or at least the one book that Mack knew about. Luckily, he didn’t seem to notice and had to get off the phone before he had a chance to pick up on how distracted Sammi was.
As Sammi finally returned home mid-afternoon and walked up the front walk, the sun beat down on her and caused her nausea to double-down. She wiped sweat off her forehead as she stepped onto the front porch, but dizziness took over and she missed the step, falling forward onto the cement and catching her weight on her wrists. Picking herself up with half a smirk on her face, she shook her head at the unnecessary pregnancy test in her bag. There was not a doubt in her mind that she was pregnant.
After fixing herself a quick snack to help settle her stomach, Sammi took the pregnancy test just to confirm before making any next moves. If she and Mack were going to do this, they were going to do it right this time, or at least she was going to do it right. There wasn’t going to be any more running away and there wasn’t going to be any more uncertainty. She wanted this. She wanted this more than she wanted to see her name on the cover of a best-selling book. But included in doing things right was planning the perfect way to break the news to Mack.
Wanting to be absolutely certain before worrying about telling Mack, Sammi set up a doctor’s appointment after her home test came back positive. Still not willing to risk coming into contact with Dr. Brock ever again, especially now, she had no choice but to see a doctor in the city.
Meanwhile, Sammi also finished writing her acknowledgments and sent them over to Stephanie. Instantly suspecting something was up, Stephanie called Sammi as soon as she had read the email.
“Sammi, are you—?” Stephanie asked after the hellos were said.
“Yeah, but Mack doesn’t know yet,” Sammi told her quickly. “What are the chances you could rush a copy of each book for me?”
“I can get paperbacks within the week. Why?”
“I’d like to use them to surprise Mack, but I can’t keep this secret forever.”
“If you can wait until the weekend, I will guarantee you will have them.”
“Thanks, Steph. You’ve gone above and beyond for me through this entire experience. I appreciate you.”
“I believe we’ll work together again. Oh, and congratulations, Sammi.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
4 Letter Word
That Sunday, Sammi woke Mack up by kissing his face all over. He opened his eyes and immediately rolled Sammi onto her back so he could take over the face-kissing. She laughed and tried to push him away so she could talk, but he snaked his arms under her back so he could hold her close. Giving up, Sammi snuggled into him and let his warmth embrace her.
“Let’s just stay like this all day,” Mack mumbled into Sammi’s hair, wrapping his arms even tighter around her body. Sammi started to nod, but quickly stopped herself.
“No, no, no,” Sammi blurted out, wriggling free from her husband in a hurry. “I have a surprise for you so we should get dressed.”
“A surprise? Is it my birthday?” Mack asked, confused as Sammi hopped out of bed and left him alone with his arms sprawled open waiting to hold his wife again.
“I think you’re going to like it better than your birthday,” Sammi told him with a wink before skipping into the bathroom.
Mack didn’t budge while Sammi combed her hair and brushed her teeth. He remained in the same spot and watched as Sammi returned from the bathroom, changing into a periwinkle blue summer dress on her way through the bedroom. Then Sammi floated out of the room and Mack finally dragged himself out of bed, smiling to himself the whole time and thinking about how lucky he was to be Mack Johnson.
After a short breakfast, Sammi steered a still very confused Mack out to the garage to her car. Mack didn’t know where they were going so he was stuck in the passenger seat while his wife drove, which was a rare occurrence for them. It had never been spoken, but it was pretty apparent to Sammi that Mack preferred to drive.
Uncertain about how Mack was going to react to the surprise, Sammi was kind of nervous as she drove them into the city. She could expect that Mack would be happy about her news, but she didn’t have the best track record with sharing life-changing information with her husband. Not much in the world scared Sammi, nothing comparable to Shay on the other end of a firearm, but she was definitely scared that Mack might not get as excited as she hoped he would.
As Sammi pulled her Nissan into the parking garage, she could feel Mack’s disapproving gaze on the side of her face. She knew he hadn’t been to this mall since the night they’d met, but she wanted to share this with him. This place was important to their relationship and Sammi wanted Mack to be able to see it for what it was.
“Just…go with me on this,” Sammi said quietly, nearly pleading after she’d put the car in park.
Mack sighed as he got out of the car, but he met Sammi on the other side and immediately took her hand in his. Sammi swung her bag over her shoulder and led the way inside the open two-story shopping mall. They walked without speaking past busy s
tores and happily buzzing teenagers, none of whom knew what had taken place in this mall just a few years ago. Mack was tense with a somewhat painful look on his face as they walked at a brisk pace toward familiar sights, and Sammi could sense as soon as Mack started recognizing things because his hand would begin to squeezed hers more tightly.
The first place Sammi took Mack was the tiny hallway where they’d first crossed each other’s paths. It was somewhat brighter in the suffocating, small hallway than it had been years ago and Sammi leaned against the hallway wall, pulling Mack to her. She kept her hands on his waist as he stood in front of her and she studied his face as she thought back to that night when she saw this man for the very first time.
“I think you’re even more handsome than you were that night,” Sammi cooed softly at her husband, swinging their arms gently at their sides.
“What are we doing here, Sam?” Mack asked, dropping her hands and stepping uncomfortably away from her.
“Why does this make you so upset?” Sammi challenged him, trying to hold back her own emotions. She didn’t understand why he was so closed off about certain things, especially anything involving her. “This is where we met, Mack.”
“Sammi, I love you. But I am overwhelmed here,” Mack tried to explain, still keeping his distance. “That night was total insanity and I still feel blindsided by it.”
“I don’t understand,” Sammi replied, finally letting her emotions get the best of her as anger and sadness took turns showing themselves in her eyes. “There wouldn’t be an us if it weren’t for that night, Mack!”
“I get that, Sammi!” Mack came back, matching his wife’s emotions. “But I had to turn my back on everything that I stood for that night and every day for the rest of my life! I chose Sammi the thief over my job as a cop and I don’t need to be reminded of it in this cramped hallway! I could’ve lost everything that night!”
“But I’m not a thief now,” Sammi offered to lighten the mood, keeping her head low but looking up at Mack with as much innocence in her sparkling eyes as she could fake.
“Sammi, you were, you are, and you always will be a thief,” Mack replied, almost coldly.
“So…you regret this…you regret me?” Sammi asked, suddenly feeling like someone had punched her in the gut.
Mack chuckled as he finally looked Sammi in the face and took a step toward her. Sammi remained leaning with her back against the wall, trying to wait patiently for Mack’s answer.
“The only thing I regret is not sweeping you off your feet the moment I looked into your eyes,” Mack said, closing the distance between himself and Sammi and pressing his lips hard to hers with his hand immediately entangling in her hair. “I’m sorry that I will never be okay with your past and that I believe we were probably never supposed to be together, but I promise you that no one has ever loved another as much as I love you.”
Sammi kissed Mack back, allowing her thoughts to disappear into the moment. She loved this man with everything she had, and she was grateful for the night they met, even if neither of them had made the best choices that evening. Those choices brought them to this very moment and Sammi wouldn’t change a thing about that night even if she could. She would have no problem taking another two bullets to prove her love for Mack Johnson.
“Sammi, I’m not great with words but I wish I could show you how I felt that night,” Mack breathed against her cheek after catching his breath. “I saw my future in your eyes the very first moment I looked at you and I knew I loved you that very second.”
“It was love at first sight,” Sammi whispered, then placed her hands flat on his chest and kissed his smooth cheek. “But we’re not done yet.”
Taking his hand again, Sammi led Mack to the crowded second floor of the mall where the two of them had shot each other. Mack looked cautiously at the floor and quickly relaxed when he noticed that the tiles had been replaced. Sammi pulled him off to the side, next to the railing overlooking the first floor, and dropped her shoulder bag to the floor. She knelt down and retrieved two books from the bag before standing up again and getting serious as she turned her body towards Mack.
“I may have thought you were the enemy the night we met, but I was never once afraid of you and that meant something to me,” Sammi spoke with a purpose as she nervously played with the books in her hands. “I didn’t know I was going to fall in love with you, but I’m glad I did. You’re the reason I’m not afraid of anything and you’re the reason I’ve had a life worth writing about.”
Then Sammi handed Mack the first book, the one about her friends, the one he knew about. Mack looked over the front and back covers of it before flipping through the pages and curiously landing on the acknowledgments page:
For Kodi, the only friend I ever needed.
For Howard, whose genuine goodness made me a better person.
For Eli—you were right, you are my fate.
“Your fate?” Mack asked, clearly upset, just as Sammi suspected he would be.
“Mack, he saved my life,” Sammi defended her choice of words. “And it was something he said after Shay shot me.”
Holding onto the book, Mack looked at the floor, trying really hard to be understanding. He didn’t know Sammi had written a second book, a book about him like he had suggested, so Sammi slowly held it out to him. Not expecting it, Mack looked at it with confusion and carefully took it from his wife. He ran his fingers gently across the title Love Against the Law as he stared at it in awe.
“When did you—?” Mack asked, somewhat in shock.
“While you were at work. When else?” Sammi said with a giggle. She gave Mack a minute to let the title sink in before she took the book back from him, opened it to the acknowledgments page, and handed it back to him.
Mack read aloud, “To a loving father of three and the only man I ever want to call my husband.”
After speaking it out loud, Mack read the sentence a few more times to himself with a puzzled look scrunched on his face. Sammi watched him, smiling, waiting for him to figure it out. Suddenly, his soft blue eyes widened, twinkling with understanding, and his mouth fell agape.
“Baby, are we going to have a baby?” Mack asked, his voice gentle but full of emotion and excitement.
“We’re going to have a baby,” Sammi told him, nodding and grinning widely.
Mack pulled Sammi into his arms and squeezed her tight, burrowing his face into the crook of her neck and letting her hair fall down over him. Sammi hugged him in return, her head smooshed into his solid chest. She let him hold her for as long as he needed, feeling his body tremble with happiness. People were staring as they walked by, but Mack didn’t notice and Sammi couldn’t have cared less. This was their moment and they’d earned it.
When Mack was finally ready to release his wife, Sammi quickly tossed the books back into her bag and hoisted her bag over her shoulder. Then she grabbed Mack’s hand and started to leave their spot, but Mack stopped her and brought her back over to the railing.
“Hey, you were right,” Mack said, looking serious as he made eye contact with Sammi, planting a hand on her hip. “This place is important to us. Good fell for evil that night and now they’re having a child together. And no matter which side of the law that child chooses to be on, they will be loved.”
*
About a year later, the Sammi Johnson book tour ended in Los Angeles, California. It was a beautiful, hot, sunny day as the ever-radiant blonde bombshell and her handsome police detective husband made their way through a large, open cemetery. Mack walked half a step behind Sammi with his arm hooked protectively around her waist from the back. Sammi walked with a purpose, effortlessly carrying a sleeping baby cradled in her arms.
When Sammi found the gravestone she was looking for, she kissed Mack before sitting down in the grass in front of the grave. Mack gave her space but stood behind her for emotional support, ready for when she needed him. Sitting with her legs crossed, Sammi readjusted the peaceful bundle in her arms.
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“Hi, Eli,” Sammi spoke softly to the open grassy space before her.
Then Sammi paused. She had expected this to be easier since she knew what she had come here to say. But she hadn’t planned on the overwhelming feeling of missing her old friend and wanting to see him more than anything else in the world. A few tears slipped out of the corners of Sammi’s eyes and she quickly wiped them away before they could fall onto her sleeping baby’s face.
“I miss you, Eli,” Sammi began again, slowly this time. “I want you to meet this little guy. This is Eliot Kode Johnson and, even though Mack and I agreed to let him choose his own path, he’s named after the two greatest thieves I’ve ever met, so I think there’s a good chance the criminal side will win out in the end. He will grow up hearing all about his Uncle Eli and Aunt Kodi. I promise you, your memory will never fade.”
Getting choked up at the end, Sammi had to stop talking. Mack put his hand on Sammi’s shoulder from behind to comfort her just as little Eliot’s tiny eyelids fluttered open. The little brown-haired boy smiled up at his mother and father with the most shocking blue eyes that he could have only gotten from Sammi. There was a very specific, and very familiar to Mack, twinkle in those eyes that told his parents exactly which side of the law he was going to choose.
About Atmosphere Press
Atmosphere Press is an independent, full-service publisher for excellent books in all genres and for all audiences. Learn more about what we do at atmospherepress.com.
We encourage you to check out some of Atmosphere’s latest releases, which are available at Amazon.com and via order from your local bookstore:
Saints and Martyrs: A Novel, by Aaron Roe
When I Am Ashes, a novel by Amber Rose
Melancholy Vision: A Revolution Series Novel, by L.C. Hamilton
The Recoleta Stories, by Bryon Esmond Butler
Voodoo Hideaway, a novel by Vance Cariaga
Hart Street and Main, a novel by Tabitha Sprunger
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