by S M Matthews
“Well don’t you scrub up nice?” She asks me. I grin, and although I’m not completely sure of what she’s asking me, I think it’s another compliment.
“Errr…yes?” I reply, hesitantly.
She sighs, “That was one of those rhetorical ones. You don’t need to answer. I’m saying you look nice. The effort you have gone to has been noticed. That sort of thing.” I nod. Rhetorical. Right.
We stand looking at each other for a moment and I am unaccountably a little shy. This seems so formal.
“Well, I assume we’re not going dancing, so what’s the plan?”
Dancing. I hadn’t even thought about that. Youngsters often meet at social dances; I wonder if it’s the same for humans.
“I have my room ready, if you’d like to come with me?”
She snickers but gestures for me to go ahead. “Buddy you have no idea how loaded that question was.” She says from behind me.
I’ve set my room up as best I could. I don’t have a shared seat, just some armchairs, and I didn’t like the idea of that. I moved all the cushions and bedding I own to the floor at the foot of the bed. I have attempted to create a comfy seat on the floor, using the bottom of my bed as the back rest to the ‘seat’. I’ve had to move a bigger screen temporarily from storage, but the little monitors I have wouldn’t have worked very well. We don’t really sit and watch things like this, so it’s never been something we’ve really needed.
I would have just had her be on the bed with me, but that felt a bit too forward somehow. No matter that I really would rather get her into bed.
She makes a little ‘awwww’ noise. “You’ve built a pillow fort for us. Cute.” She sits neatly, folding her legs under her and getting comfortable.
I hand her a drink and set the screen going. She watches the brief introduction avidly, it shows all the wildlife covered in this specific episode and their times of appearance, so you can just watch the parts that interest you. Or find them easily later, if needed. I had intended that we just watch the whole thing. I’d trawled through several episodes to find, what I thought, were the most interesting things for Cora to see.
“Are we watching a documentary?”
I nod at her, “I’ll just go get snacks.”
I did my best to remember all the things that she particularly liked from the tasting trial and produced a platter full of just those. I am a moment retrieving it from the galley and I set it between us as I join her on the ‘pillow fort’ as she called it.
She sips her drink and picks over the food. She’s watching the vid with interest. I’m watching her more than I’m watching the screen.
She does give a running commentary of what she thinks is ‘pretty’ or ‘disgusting’ or just ‘really cool’. The longer we sit here, the more relaxed she becomes, and the more appealing the smell is. It’s interesting listening to her opinions on how strange everything looks to her, and it makes me look again at some things. She’s funny, and very quick witted. And has very strange ideas on what qualifies as ‘cute’.
“Next time can we watch one with more of those birds? The ones with the little arms? That is crazy.”
“Of course. We can do whatever you like.” I think about that. I add, “unless it’s not safe, obviously.” She rolls her eyes.
“So is this what you’d do back home with a girl? Because honestly if a guy asked me out and then tried to sell me ‘come and sit in my pillow fort and watch a documentary’ I’m not so sure that I’d go for it.” She turns a little to face me, resting her elbow on the bed. “I mean don’t get me wrong, ‘come and sit in my alien pillow fort on my actual spaceship and watch a documentary about animals from a completely different planet’ is a definite ‘yes’.”
I hadn’t even thought about it like that. “No, you’re right, we wouldn’t. For a start all three of us would likely be there for everything. It wouldn’t make any sense for just one of us to pursue anything with a potential mate. And it’s a lot more…well, it’s more orientated towards seeing if it’s a good match. So lots of opportunity to talk. Usually. As a relationship progresses and it’s more likely there will be a mating, you might start doing things like this, but not when you’re actively courting.”
“That all sounds…really old fashioned.” I twist my ears forward and she continues, “Well, matings aren't a permanent thing for us. For some people mating…sex…is next to meaningless. Even if you get married and make it official, you can still leave them again later. Or cheat with someone else. But if that’s your one and only, for ever and ever, it makes sense that everyone would want to be sure. Does it bother you, that I have a different attitude to it?”
I shake, “I’m…not sure. Your way is probably better, less…pressure, I suppose.”
She snorts, “I was just thinking the exact same thing about your way. There’s no pressure, because once the decision’s made there’s no need to worry about it, no matter what. All your kids will always have both...” she stalls for a moment, then adjusts what she’s said, “all of their parents, no families will get broken up. Everyone gets happy ever after whether they want it or not.”
We sit quietly for a few moments, both thinking on what the other has said, I think.
Does it bother me that it’s potentially meaningless to humans? Does it bother me that our relationship might mean a lot more to us than it may do to her? Does it bother me that she could one day decide we are not what she wants? I’m actually starting to think that it does.
I realise that for the first time ever I’m not enjoying the ‘risk’ part of a deal.
I also realise there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it.
She is who she is, and either we want that, or we don’t.
CORA
He’s gone all quiet, thinking. He’s unusually still, and I’m not sure if I like it.
Maybe the differences are hitting home. If you spend your whole life knowing that once you have a mate you have her for life, and then something comes along to challenge that, it’s got to be a pretty big deal. Maybe he’s going off the whole idea, just as I’m starting to accept the fact that it could be a possibility.
“I would have thought that would work for you guys. You don’t want to do what everyone else is doing, remember?”
He nods, then sighs. “I have always thought that was the truth. The idea of your mate just being able to…to just leave, if she decided to…”
“That’s a two-way street though,” I point out to him. “It also gives you the freedom to end it if you decide that’s what you want.”
He opens and closes his mouth a few times, as if starting to speak and then changing his mind. There's a huff. Then a really hard head shake, enough to make his ears produce a flapping sound.
I think I’m blowing his mind with this.
“Come on, you’re thinking about this way too hard…and I’ve been sat here way too long. I will allow you to escort me home.” I stand, then put my hand out instinctively to help him up. I realise I don’t know what that’s going to achieve, he’s the best part of seven feet tall and basically made out of solid muscle. He gently takes my hand anyway, and then doesn’t lean on it at all to unfold himself from the floor. They are so incredibly graceful.
He walks me home even though that just entails him following me down the hall, and when my door opens, still with the little hitch, I turn to face him.
“Thank you for a lovely evening,” I say, feeling just a little silly. And awkward again. Obviously, there’s no kissing, he’s all cat mouth and fang tips and…he starts to move forward and then stops, looking awkward. He’s scratching at the back of his neck, sort of looking at the floor. It’s adorable.
“Sorry,” he says, “That’s forward of me.” His real voice under the translator has gone very soft and quiet. He is shy!
“No, it’s okay.” I am so curious about what they do do. I let my hands hang in front of me, clasped together, and stand prepared. “You do you.” I say, nodding.
He waits a beat, I think he’s still not sure, but he takes the step closer to me and have to crane my head back a little to look up at his face.
He smiles down at me, showing a little more fang, his ears twist down then flick back up. “You need to look down,” he tells me.
“Oh, sorry!” I say, and oblige, looking somewhere around where his belly button might be. If he has one. Do they have one? I try and think from what I’ve seen.
He leans down and I feel his nose making gentle contact with my hair, and he takes a deep sniff and then backs off again.
For a people who are all smell orientated, I guess it makes sense. He steps back again.
“Thank you, Cora…”
I smile, he’s so awkward all of a sudden, he doesn’t know what to do with his hands, and the tails are going wild in opposite directions. I can’t help but notice that his eyes look all strange, kind of staring...and his pupils are very dilated.
“Night, then.” I say, having mercy and letting him escape. I grin to myself as he strides the little way along the hall and disappears back into his room. They are all so completely…well, adult. And yet about this he was like a nervous teenager.
Oh. Oh wow. I just realised the implications of all this mate talk.
They are all virgins.
Crikey. No pressure then.
If I decide to go along with any of this.
LAM
The second I’m through the door I have to struggle my way out of these stupid trousers. My nose is still full of Cora and that smell. That amazing smell of…contentment. She smells like everything is fine. Like everything is going to be fine. Because we’ve finally made it.
She smells like success, and I don’t think there’s anything more attractive anywhere in the universe.
I can just about manage myself when I’m in the same space as her, but her allowing me to actually smell her was incredible.
What I’d wanted to do was push her through the open doorway and mate her right there on the floor.
With my trousers off my cocks had immediately sprung free, and the relief is immense. I gather up all the bedding from the floor, dumping it back on the bed. I’m still thinking about pulling Cora down and pushing her dress up. I crawl up on the bed and find the part of the blankets she’s been sitting on. Her scent is strongest here and my hips thrust a little on their own.
I climb up on my knees, my face buried in the blankets, thinking about what I’d do if I had my head up Cora’s skirts instead.
I grasp my upper cock, and find myself pausing. I have a brief moment of feeling…a little guilty. What would she think of me? Doing this?
It passes as quickly as it arrived, I have a problem, and I have got to do something about it.
I take a big breath of her scent from the blanket, and imagine my face is pressed against the juncture of her thighs instead.
I start working my cock, and it is easy for me to imagine her small hands in my mane, my fur rubbing on her bare thighs, the noises she might make as my tongue enters her.
That last thought pushes me over the edge and I cum, both cocks throbbing for several long moments. I flop down onto the bed, catching my breath.
I regret flopping into my own wet patch. And then I sigh because of the amount of laundry I’ve just created.
I rub at my face, she has me behaving like a cub who’s just discovered what his cocks are for.
I have the presence of mind to push the blanket out of the way though. I won’t be washing it. Because of the smell of Cora on it, it’s just been promoted to the position of my prized possession.
CORA
We are all sat together for breakfast. I watch them, milling about in their perfectly synchronised way. It still amazes me that they never seem to even come close to bumping into each other. All three of them seem to just…fit, somehow. They all seem to know what their bit to do is without having to discuss it, and they all pop different things on the table, one handing out plates whilst another pours drinks. They all seem happy to wait on me a little, and I feel like I’ve been folded into their routine without any real change on their parts. It’s a nice feeling.
We sit, and they idly chatter…Neb promising he will actually get on with some maintenance. I’m quick to offer my help…I don’t really just want to sit around whilst they do all the work.
Neb shakes his head at me, “you don’t have too.”
“No, I want to. It’ll keep me occupied…and I should try and do something to help around here. You guys are just letting me live in your home.”
There’s a couple of ear shrugs, Lam says, “it’s also not your fault that you’re here.”
That’s also very true…and now that I’ve spent a fair bit of time with them, it’s given me time to think more about the smell thing. Why they chose to buy us and wake me up in the first place.
“Soooo…I basically smell like I should be your mate, right?”
They all synchronised nod at me. They look at me curious, I think they are getting used to my, often off topic, questioning.
“So, if I understand your explanation of that right…and it is about breeding and having the most viable cubs for survival,” I get another round of agreeing nods, “but if that’s the purpose of it, then why am I setting it off? I mean, hypothetically speaking, we can’t have kids, right?” Across the table, Neb snorts at my ‘hypothetically’ then tries to cover it. I waggle my finger at him, “Do not be getting any ideas.” But I also can’t help but grin at his reaction.
Lam answers me though, “No, we’re completely different species. We can’t breed.”
“Right.” I say to him, he’s not getting this. “So if we can’t have kids at all, and the whole point of the smell is to have stronger, better, whatever babies…then why do I smell good? You just said, I’m a completely different species…so why? That makes absolutely no sense, surely?”
In unison, all three of them sit back in their chairs, ears twisting down, eyes slitting. They are clearly very different people but…it’s creepy when they do something so in tune with each other like this.
Again, it’s Lam that speaks first, but he’s addressing his brothers this time not me. “Maybe…maybe that’s what they were doing?”
“Maybe they changed her, you mean?” Neb asks him, nodding in my direction.
“Woah woah woah, excuse me? What do you mean, changed me?”
Neb explains what he means, “The Ta’Naw are geneticists, they mess with themselves all the time, a lot of them are actually clones, we’re not even sure they actually breed any more, they might just be copy after copy,” he does the ear shrug, “we don’t know a lot. That has always been their way of operating though, when they attacked, thousands of years ago, it was some sort of genetic weapon. It was devastating. We don’t really know now what went on, there was…a lot of confusion while the war was going on…but they haven’t ever been able to do anything to us since. And no one can really work out what they did to us then. Like I said, we don’t understand how they achieved it back then. They don’t seem to have the ability to affect our genetics, otherwise they would have done it again. Our genetic code is far more complex than theirs, so maybe they can’t? Something like that. But they pulled it off that once. Maybe your code is simpler, and they have done something to you. Maybe they got what they wanted, that makes sense as to why they took you…if what we do know about how they operate is right, maybe they wanted something from your code to change their own? Maybe they just wanted to mess with you, and now they’ve seen the results they wanted. Or not.” He shrugs again, “I’m really sorry, but this is all pretty empty speculation. They could just have easily done nothing at all to any of you.”
“I’m a medic, not a geneticist,” Lam adds, “and even if I were, we have no way of getting at the tech we’d need to check.”
I feel a bit…dirty. Used. I sit for a minute, self-examining. I don’t feel any different to usual I don’t think. But then what would it even feel l
ike? If they have no way of knowing, then he is right; it is just empty speculation.
“Is that just a possible explanation for why they took us then? I mean, do you have any other actual possibilities? Them taking us for the sake of it and then selling us on seems unlikely, don’t you think?”
They all sort of give me half-hearted shrugs, and we all sit quietly for a minute thinking. If they could change things in us, why would they change that? What’s the goal? Was it an accident? Were we just a test batch?
I’ve got a lot of questions, and I don’t think these guys will be able to give me any more answers than they already have. I realise I’m pretty sure I trust them now.
Actually, now that I consciously have that thought…I think I really do trust them. And that I have done for at least a few days now.
The thought of being…experimented on…is making my skin feel like it’s itchy, crawling with things.
I don’t like the idea of that even a little bit. Do I feel different? How would I even know? What would I have to feel for? I know I look the same.
I know I can’t do diddly squat about it anyway.
NEB
Since we’ve decided to take a bit of time off for maintenance, I’ve put together a list of all the things I’d like to prioritise. Most things just need maintenance that is easier to do when we aren't on our way somewhere; it means if I need to power off parts of the ship, I can. For quite a while now, we’ve always been on our way somewhere.
We will need some parts and tools though, but we are only a dozen turns travel from the perfect place. It also means we will be able to dock for a short time and I can power down completely for some final bits of maintenance.
I take my list with me to breakfast. Ceph won’t worry about what I’m doing, but I will have to plan with Lam.
