Courage to follow your heart

by Christina Aas

  “What on Earth was that??” Liz said in shock, while trying to catch her breath. “I have no idea. Do you wanna go inside and try to find out?” Hunter asked reluctantly. She caught the brief hint of relief on Liz’ face. She’s pulling away, I can feel it. This was probably my one and only chance for trying to connect with her. Besides the abrupt ending, Hunter had also felt it during the kiss. Somehow Liz was not entirely involved. It was something in the slowness in her response, as if for every movement she was thinking before acting, and acting with hesitation. Hunter was disappointed, but knew there was nothing to do about it right now. She could only hope for another opportunity to show her feelings.

  They walked back into the party and noticed that the music had stopped and the crowd was gathered around a slumping figure lying in the middle of the floor. When they came closer they could hear sobbing. Liz felt herself starting to shiver and her heart sank. Could it be? She forced herself to calm down, noting that they still had no idea what had happened or who it was. But she couldn’t help shake an uneasy feeling plaguing her mind about this summer. The two of them walked quickly toward the middle of the hurdle. They squeezed their way through the gathering drunk students, some of them still laughing and dancing, not really registering that something serious seemed to be happening just behind them. First they saw black pants lying still on the floor in an awkward shape. Then they saw the grey t-shirt of the person, and Liz felt her lungs open up, air finally coming into them again as her shoulders sank and her muscles relieved themselves of the pent up tension. It’s not her. Liz felt guilty for being happy, but she couldn’t help it. She had a bad feeling that something would happen this summer, and it didn’t help to see the injured person the floor.

  The person lying on the floor, writhing in agony, was one of the Japanese students. His leg was twisted in an awkward angle and he was bleeding from the top of his head. Next to him the Japanese female student was slumped over him, crying and trying to take care of him. He himself seemed very disoriented, too drunk to really understand what had happened or that he was injured at all. “Do you know what happened?” Liz asked the person next to her, someone from Brazil if her memory served her right. “Taichi wanted to dance on the table to prove he could do it. But when he got up there he lost his balance and fell down on the concrete floor. He fell on his leg which looked like it broke, and in that process he hit his head on the table.” the Brazilian responded in a factual manner. “Aha. Wow, that must really hurt then. Sounds serious...do you know what’s going on now?” Liz asked with a worried tone while she continued to eye the Japanese students on the floor. “I heard from someone that because we’re located on federal grounds whenever an accident takes place the alarm goes out to all the emergency units and all of them have to respond simultaneously.

  So I guess we can expect the ambulance, police and fire truck to appear any minute now.” the Brazilian replied while pointing toward the door and shrugging his shoulders. Liz thought he was joking but when she saw his flat expression she understood that this might actually be the case. “Wow, that is some response for a broken leg and a mild head wound then!” she tried to smile in return, but the student kept his serious expression so Liz turned embarrassed back toward the scene in front of her. Kris appeared in her peripheral vision, seemingly organizing something while making a call. Liz quickly understood that Kris apparently was in charge of everything. A good person to have in case of a crisis Liz admired her efficiency while she watched Kris order people around and check on the Japanese student while still being on the phone. She sure is good at multitasking. Liz thought of how this skillset could also be useful for other, far more private things. She let her mind wander and imagined Kris’ hand moving slowly up her body, over her belly and up to her breasts while her tongue was playfully tugging at her earlobe and the other hand was stroking slowly up the inside of her thigh. Damn, stop it. A student is seriously injured and all you can think of is sex?! Liz quickly looked down at her feet to avoid any further wandering of thoughts.

  The sirens sounded loudly from just outside the building and not very long thereafter the doors slammed open and revealed indeed medical, police and fire unit people running in toward the crowd. They firmly shouted to everyone to “Clear the area please!” before moving in toward the patient. Kris stepped over and briefed them quickly on the situation, seeming to know exactly what kind of information they were after. She was standing firmly on the ground with one hand in her side and the other pointing around at various targets in the room while explaining. Liz could not take her eyes off her; she was so incredibly sexy when she was bossy and confident. After only a couple of minutes the Japanese student had been lifted up on a gurney and taken away into an awaiting ambulance just outside. They heard the sirens diminish when the vehicle drove off, and the crowd stood left in the room not knowing exactly what to do. “This party is now finished guys” Kris shouted to everyone, “I would suggest you go home to your apartments and we’ll take care of cleanup tomorrow instead”. Liz decided to first go to the ladies’ room and wandered off in the opposite direction of the rest of the crowd.

  After checking in the mirror that her hair was still somewhat in place and her make-up was not too smudged out from the kissing earlier, Liz exited the toilet. She stopped abruptly outside the door, noticing that the entire building was now dark and seemingly vacant. She felt her skin develop goose bumps and a slight shiver emerge from her spine. The large building was rather creepy now, without all the people and the music to fill its hollow void. She hurried toward the door, hoping with everything she got that it was not locked yet. Liz grasped the handle, praying silently to herself and gently pushed it down. Nothing happened. Damn! What do I do now?? Liz was getting scared. She searched her mind trying to think if she knew when this building would be in use the next time and just how long she could expect to be trapped here. She was already getting hungry, and the thought of being in here even over night was mortifying.

  Suddenly Liz heard a crackling sound right behind her and turned 180 degrees on her heel, terrified of what might have caused the sound. To her great surprise Kris was standing just behind her, looking equally surprised to see her there. “Didn’t you leave with the rest?” she asked with a suspicion in her voice. “No, I had to use the ladies’ room and by the time I came out everyone had already left and the building was dark.” “Okay, follow me then. I have the keys to let us out, I was just checking the rest of the building before leaving myself” Kris told her and pointed in the direction of the back door. Liz quickly followed her, feeling like a small child who had been discovered doing something illegal and was now taken to the principal’s office.

  What is she doing here? I can’t deal with this now. Kris walked ahead of her with fast and steady strides. Liz struggled to keep up the tempo. “Some night huh?” Liz chatted nervously. “Seemed like you were kept quite busy. Have you maybe had some training on such situations before?” Liz tried to make friendly conversation while they walked in the dark. “This was indeed too busy a night for my preference. I would rather never have situations arise such as tonight, but one of the Israeli guys had apparently been feeding the Japanese students alcohol all evening, and that led to this drunken accident.” She circumvented Liz’ question. “It was very irresponsible of him. I really dislike it when people act so reckless without thinking of the possible consequences” she uttered angrily while continuing to stride forward.

  Liz could feel the chill in the room, but decided it was probably the result of the stress of the evening, and not necessarily meant personally for her. So she decided to give it one more try; “Well, I think you handled everything very well at least, I was impressed by your skills. I think it really helped to have someone responsible like you to take care of the situation”. Kris finally stopped in the middle of her stride and slowly turned back toward Liz. “Thank you Liz, I appreciate it. Sorry, I’m just a bit tired and fed up.” She rubbed her hands across her face. “I’ll be in
a better mood in the morning, okay?” she said while smiling gently to Liz. A pair of sparkling blue vaults of innocence stared back up at her and Kris felt her heart pull inside her chest. I can’t be falling for this girl, I just can’t.

  Liz looked into the swirling green eyes of Kris and saw a wide range of emotion pass through. She wished she could just reach over and stroke her chin, hug her tightly and tell her everything would be okay. But then the swirls stopped and glazed over as Kris looked distantly beyond her, a hardened expression in her face. I don’t know what just happened, but she’s gone now. Her shield is up. I wish I knew why though. Am I not good enough for her?

  Liz braced her heart and simply nodded in return. “Nothing to mention, let’s just get some sleep and see how things are in the morning instead”. They left the building and walked quietly in the dark back to their dorm rooms.

  Chapter 7

  As they approached the dorm building they heard some distant voices from students apparently still partying inside their dorm rooms, but otherwise it was completely quiet and abandoned. The darkness was embracing and allowed the glittering rays of a few of the brightest stars’ shine through. Liz gazed up at the sky and felt a warmth surround her heart, she still had to remind herself that she was at a space agency site living her dream looking at the stars.

  As Liz was about to walk up the stairs to her floor, she heard a soft clearing of voice from behind her. “I hear there is some 4th of July thing tomorrow up in San Francisco. Are you also going?” Kris asked with an unexpected hint of nervousness hiding behind her smile. One strand of hair had fallen across her eyes and Liz strongly resisted the urge to brush it gently away with her hand. Liz almost lost herself in those deep green eyes, sparkling like irresistible beacons in the dark. “Yes, I’m planning to take the train up tomorrow after classes end, together with Katie and some of the Australians. Are you also going?” Liz asked, trying to hide her peaked curiosity and careful excitement. This is a turn of events!

  “I was thinking of taking my bike up, and I remembered you were interested in motorcycles, right? So I wanted to ask if perhaps you wanted to catch a ride with me to San Fran?” Liz’ heart jumped of joy and started hammering fiercely in her chest. But then she remembered the recent withdrawal back in the party building and she forced herself to draw a deep breath and try to calm down again. She’s just being practical and offering you a ride, nothing else. “Sure, that would be nice. I just gotta find someone to borrow a helmet from and then I’m game.” she said as casually as her voice allowed her too, the tremble just below her vocal cord. Kris didn’t seem to have noticed her overeager display of emotion, except for her slight smirk when her lips curled up in one corner. “Okay then, we have a plan. I’ll pick you up after classes tomorrow. Wear something warm and gloves if you have, it can get quite cold on the highway due to the wind.” Kris nodded goodbye to her and strode over toward her own dorm room. Liz stood behind in the dark and grinned from ear to ear. At least she wants to hang out with me again, that’s something.

  As soon as Liz was inside her room she opened up her laptop and found the Craigslist website. She quickly typed ‘motorcycle helmet’ and picked the closest geographic location as her preference for the search filter mechanism. “Calm down Liz, it’s just a freakin’ motorcycle ride, nothing more, okay?!” Liz stared into her room and looked at her hand shaking while she held it up. She had to get a grip before tomorrow, otherwise she could spoil the whole thing before it even got a chance to start. She glanced down at her screen and decided to focus at the task at hand, one thing at a time. First find a helmet, then get some much needed hours of sleep, then sit tightly behind Kris snuggling into her delicious body while holding your arms around her waist… “Stop it!” Liz raised her shoulders and puffed out into the room. She tried to snap out of it and once again forced her eyes to focus back on the screen and the list of motorcycle helmets for sale in the local region. Wow, there’s one for sale which actually looks really nice and has a very cheap price. Apparently, the guy who sold it had to move quickly across the country and didn’t have the chance to take it with him. She found his mobile number and sent him a text message, hoping sincerely this would work out in time. It would be utterly frustrating if the only thing stopping her tomorrow would be a tiny detail such as a lack of helmet, even if it would be a lifesaving detail. The devil is in the detail, she thought to herself while she lay down on her bed and slowly closed her eyes, still grinning into the darkness.

  ◆◆◆

  Kris let her hand run through her short hair, using her fingertips to finalize the styling with her favorite gel; it always did what she wanted it to do to her hair. Not that it was much point, with a helmet on and all. But she wanted to make a good appearance. She had to smile at Liz’ cute behavior yesterday, she had been so ecstatic; it’d been difficult not to notice. She’s quite adorable, Kris had to admit. But today is just about giving her a ride to the big city, nothing more. She still had Carrie back home, texting her every day, hoping for a second chance for them to be together even if Kris knew her heart had moved on long ago. I really have to tell her things are over for good this time, she thought. As soon as I have a chance, I’ll just call her, get it over with. She’ll get angry once again, but so be it. I don’t have time for anyone now, I have my career to focus on. After all, this summer program cost me a fortune, I better make it worth it. Kris put on her leather jacket, caught a last glance of herself in the mirror and felt good about the day as she stepped out into the glistening sun, already beaming through the sky on this nearly cloud-free day.

  Liz spent the whole lecture thinking about the bike ride and the 4th of July celebrations ahead, she was so excited. Everyone was. For most of the foreigners this would be their first time experiencing the American celebration, and they had heard rumors of fireworks shaped in all kinds of strange figures, draped across the starry sky above the harbor. One of the locals had told them to try the clam chowder in sourdough bread bowl dish, one of the local specialties supposed to be heavenly delicious. Liz couldn’t wait. Especially not till the part right before the celebrations. Kris had looked absolutely devastatingly gorgeous today, her blond spiked hair fitting perfectly with her black leather jacket and biker boots, giving her a rugged sexy look. The way her jeans tightened across behind made Liz’ breath stop, and she almost had to pinch herself in the arm to force her eyes to look away. Katie had noticed her long stair once and sent a questioning look her way, but Liz blew her off and pretended to be intently interested in what the lecturer had to say at that particular point in time. She hoped Katie would forget when they later met up in San Fran, and not ask her about it. Katie had just shrugged her shoulders when Liz had told her she would catch a ride with Kris, apparently Katie had not put anything else into it. Good, let’s keep it at that until I can figure out if this would ever have a chance at being anything more anyway, Liz sent a last fleeting glance in Kris’ direction before she looked down at her notebook again.

  Katie tried to focus on taking notes from the professor speaking about mechanical structures in space and what type of connectors to utilize. But her mind kept wandering back to Bryan. I can’t be falling for this guy. What about Roger, how do I just tell him that the past six years are over? He’s expecting me to marry him, everyone are. My mom will freak out if she hears this. And for what, I don’t even know if Bryan likes me that way or if he’s just flirting for the summer. Do I really give up everything for him? Katie slumped in her seat and leaned her head in her hand. For the remainder of the lecture she fiercely focused on her notebook and avoided looking around the room to find where Bryan was sitting.

  ◆◆◆

  Kris walked up to Katie and Liz. “You ready to hit the road?” she asked Liz and smiled at the girls. “You found a helmet right?” “Sure, I was really lucky actually, and got a good price for it too!” Liz beamed back before turning to say goodbye to Katie and Felicia, who had now joined the group. “See you girls later at th
e pier?” “Sure, we’ll text you where we all end up, but it should be somewhere on the south dock – that’s where it’s best to see the fireworks Nathan told us, he should know this being from here and all” Felicia chatted quickly and excitedly while her curly hair bopped up and down. Ever since she had been flirting with Erik her eyes seemed to shine even more brightly then Liz actually thought possible, and her mood was constantly super happy. Erik was friends with Nathan, and the two of them had set up quite a cool evening for all of them.

  Liz waved goodbye to the rest of the group and followed Kris out to the car park where a single fierce-looking motorcycle stood sparkling in the sun. It was black with two exhaust pipes in the rear and wide tires. It had a streamlined chassis, formed perfectly to the body of its driver and inviting to high speeds and sharp corners. Liz felt the butterflies in her stomach flutter their wings excitedly and shift about.

  “Okay, I’ll get on first and then you can step on this thing” Kris pointed at a stepping pin next to the tire, “and get on behind me. Put on your helmet first. If you want me to stop, tap twice on my right shoulder, okay?” Liz nodded and put on her helmet, afraid to do anything wrong that would ruin this fantastic opportunity, seemingly too good to be true. Kris swung her right leg over the bike while gripping the handle with her left hand. She looked stunning as the move really showed off her toned features and perfectly fit behind. Liz swallowed nervously and waited patiently for her turn to try and straddle the bike. Kris turned around and motioned for Liz to get on.

  Liz stepped up to the bike and put her left foot on the pin. She tried to find a grip for her right arm, but quickly discovered to her horror that the only way to do this was to grab onto Kris. She swallowed once more and took a deep breath. Liz calmed herself down further and put her right hand on Kris’ right shoulder, leaning her weight on her and the stepping pin before swinging her own leg around over the bike. She thumped down into her seat and found herself suddenly very intimately close to Kris. She quickly scooted backward as far as she could get, to avoid any further touching of Kris. Kris tilted her head backward, opened the visor of her helmet and looked at her with one eyebrow slightly lifted. “You really need to sit a bit closer you know, otherwise you’re gonna fall off at the first acceleration I make. Put your arms around my waist to make sure you have sufficient grip.” Liz swallowed heavily, feeling her palms starting to sweat while she very slowly inched down the bike seat toward Kris and her tightly shaped behind. She could almost see the sparks firing between them when she felt their bodies touch once she slid into place. Liz wrapped her arms carefully around Kris, but Kris grabbed them and determinately put them all around her stomach making sure Liz had a tight grip. Damn, this is gonna be a long ride, Liz thought, and felt moisture develop between her legs at the thought of how close she was to Kris in this moment.