by Gemma Weir
I’d been fucking shocked when she’d apologized for being a bitch to me, and even more shocked when she’d told me the reason why was simply because something about me rubbed her the wrong way. What the fuck kind of reason is that? Plus, obviously it’s bullshit. Women love me, they all do; so why the fuck is Riley Prince different?
She looks hot as hell today in a shirt and jean shorts, her hair tied up in a ponytail on top of her head. She was fuckable in tight jeans and a fancy top, but with her long legs out on display she’s fucking gorgeous.
It takes me far longer than it should to get my shit together and finally leave the barn. I make my way to the lawn at the side of the clubhouse where my brothers and their families are lounging around in lawn chairs and on blankets while their kids run around laughing and playing together.
The smell of smoky BBQ fills my nose and my stomach rumbles almost on cue. My eyes find Riley before I even decide to look for her. She’s stood with Rosie, Park, Dino, K.C., Nikki, Blade, and the new kid, Duke, who arrived at the start of the week. She’s smiling and laughing at something someone is saying, her body relaxed and comfortable as she sips the bottle of beer in her hand.
When I approach the group, she’s stood next to K.C., giggling and talking with her hands animatedly. My dick gets excited just at the sight of her and I almost look down before I remember that bringing attention to the fucking steel rod in my pants is probably not a great idea. There’s an open lawn chair next to Nikki and I circle the group and lower myself into the chair, reaching over to rub Nikki’s pregnant belly when she smiles at me.
“Hands off my fucking woman,” Blade growls.
Both Nikki and I laugh and all attention turns to us. Riley freezes when she sees me, her amused smile twisting into a frown. Why has she gone from laughing and smiling to frowning when she sees me? I don’t fucking understand her and it’s starting to piss me off.
Reaching for a bottle of beer from the cooler in front of me, I twist off the cap and drop it into the small pile that has already been started. Then I lean back in my chair, take a long pull of my beer and glare at the woman who’s making my dick hard and my head hurt in equal measure.
I eat and drink and listen to the party going on around me, but I can’t force myself to stop searching out Riley. She’s pointedly ignoring me, avoiding my eyes completely, and the longer it goes on, the more pissed off I get. This isn’t me, I’m happy go fucking lucky, or I was until this afternoon when my skin touched hers. Now apparently, I’m a moody motherfucker who can’t stop staring at the most uninterested woman I’ve ever met.
Needing a distraction, I throw back the rest of my bottle of beer and get up from the chair my ass has been parked in all day. I need to get over whatever the fuck is going on with me.
An unfamiliar redhead wearing a short, tight, black sundress catches my eye and I make my way through the groups of people and stop when I’m standing at her elbow. Red turns to face me, her eyes going wide before they turn liquid and hooded as a sultry smile appears on her lips.
“Hi,” she says breathily.
I scan her face, taking in the heavy makeup and false eyelashes. Her brows seem a shade too dark for her face and there’s a hint of dark root growing out at her scalp. Her dress is fairly modest at the front, but because she’s very obviously not wearing a bra, her nipples poke through the material. She boldly takes a step into my body and places her flared out fingers on my chest, looking up at me expectantly.
“You ready?” I ask. It’s barely an invite, yet I already know what her answer will be. The same they all give, the way they always do. She nods and follows me as I lead her off the lawn, making sure that we walk past where Riley is stood with Park, Rosie, and Duke. For the first time in hours, Riley looks at me, then to the girl that’s holding my hand and my step almost falters. I see the hurt, heat, and surprise in her eyes and when she turns away I feel bereft, like I’m nothing without her eyes on me.
Feeling hollow and more confused than ever, I keep walking. What else am I supposed to do? I lead red to the parking lot and then I bend her over the seat of my beat-up truck and fuck her, yet the entire time all I can see is the look in Riley’s eyes.
Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.
What just happened? What the hell just happened?
I’ve never felt anything like that. The moment his fingers touched me I froze and all I could see was him. Justin is not the guy I want the world to stop for, but somehow it did.
My feet are moving so fast that I stumble and before I even realize, I’m falling to my knees and my hands hit the floor. I curse my inability to stay upright, especially in this moment when all I can think about it getting away, running away from him and the fact I seem to have had a moment with the biggest, most annoying, most cocksure guy I’ve ever met.
Pushing up from the ground, I brush off my hands and knees and glance over my shoulder to check he isn’t following. Why is this happening to me? Why couldn’t I have a moment with Dan? Nice, perfect for me, Dan. But no, the earth had to stop freaking spinning for asshole Justin.
Justin, a guy who refers to himself as Smoke. Smoke for God’s sake. Even Greg wasn’t conceited enough to think he could make a nickname cool. Maybe my blood sugar’s low, or maybe it’s too high. I did have that cherry Danish this morning, that could have messed me up. Maybe what happened when he touched me actually had nothing to do with him and everything to do with my body having a meltdown.
Yes, that makes so much more sense. I’m sick. I should get something to eat, balance out the sugar from breakfast. I’ll be better after that and what just happened with Justin will never, ever happen again.
With a renewed sense of purpose, I walk toward the noise and the smell of cooking food determined to forget all about him. Spotting Rosie, I wave and make my way through the crowd to where she’s sitting in a red lawn chair with Park to her right and a group of other people that I haven’t met yet. There’s a scary looking older guy with a beautiful pregnant woman sat in his lap. She looks amazing: her arms covered in tattoos, her hair twisted into victory rolls. There’s also a rugged guy with bright orange hair; and two younger guys, one with dark mocha skin and a baby face, the other gorgeous and young with no visible tattoos.
I smile widely when I reach them, and Rosie jumps up from her chair and rushes toward me pulling me into a tight hug.
“You’re here,” she says enthusiastically.
“I am. Did you get your work done?”
“Yes, I hate it when they spring deadlines on me, especially on a weekend. But it was this new piece that I pitched to my boss. She said yes to it for the next edition, then she called me at like ten last night and asked me to get it ready for this month’s instead. Print deadline was noon today, so I managed to get it in just in time,” she gushes.
“Hey, Riley,” Park says from his seat.
“Hey, Park,” I say, waving to my friend’s gorgeous boyfriend. “I like the hair.”
Park smiles, lifting his hand to touch the hair that was white blond the last time I saw him, but is now a startling sky-blue. “Thanks. It was time for a change.”
The color that should look ridiculous on a badass biker actually looks great. It suits him and totally works with his tattoos and leather.
“Okay. So this is Blade and Nikki,” Rosie says, gesturing to the scary guy and pregnant woman. “K.C., Dino, and Duke.”
“Hi,” I say, smiling and waving awkwardly.
“Everyone, this is my friend Riley.” Rosie says, dragging me to the seat next to her and handing me a beer.
“Do you live in Houston, Riley?” Nikki asks.
“No, I live in New York. I’m just in Houston for a couple of months with work.”
“Cool, what do you do?” She asks, sipping at a bottle of water, then glaring at it and rubbing at her pregnant belly.
“I’m a video game designer. I’m here consulting with a new company on their first game,” I tell her.
“Wow
, that’s awesome,” one of the younger guys says. I think this one is Duke, but I’m not entirely sure.
“Thanks, I love my job,” I say with a smile.
“Are you a gamer too, or do you just design them?” The red-haired guy, who I think is K.C. asks.
“Oh no, I’m a gamer. I’m a huge geek.”
The guy laughs at me and I can’t help but laugh back. He’s cute. Red-haired guys have never been on my radar before, but his broad shoulders and pale skin give him this exotic Highlander vibe that’s seriously hot. In fact, all of the guys here have been hot so far. God, they obviously know how to build them in Texas.
I chat to the group and before long K.C. has me giggling as he tells me all about his obsession with the film Weird Science as a kid and how he really thought a computer could make him a hot girlfriend.
From the corner of my eye, I catch a glimpse of someone joining our group and I turn my head to see who it is. Justin. My heart catches in my chest. I can’t look at him, so I instinctively look away. I feel like a teenager, refusing to look at the guy I secretly have a crush on. But no, that’s not what this is. I don’t have a crush on the big oaf. What happened by the truck was an anomaly, never to be repeated again.
For the rest of the day, I manage to avoid him, his eyes, and his hands. He doesn’t make any effort to speak to me and I do the same. I do however get to know the others in the group, and I can totally see why Rosie is so comfortable here.
Nikki is hilarious, and her baby is due in a few months time. Blade is scary, and apart from paying attention to his girlfriend, he only spoke to me a couple of times. K.C., Dino, and Duke are all funny and sweet. They all flirted outrageously with me, but it was playful and harmless. I don’t remember the last time I laughed as much as I have today. The food is out of this world and by the time I’ve finished my plate, I feel like I need to loosen my shorts.
Once the sun has set and Daisy and Dove have arrived, I already have plans to meet with Nikki for lunch on Wednesday and a girls night out next weekend. I love that these women are so willing to include me and make me a part of the group. It’s been a long time since I had a group of girlfriends.
I can feel Justin’s eyes on me. I can feel him watching me and I want to turn and get lost in the want and need I feel for him. Whatever it was that happened when we touched, it isn’t going away and my skin feels tight, as though I’m punishing myself by not giving in to whatever this is that I’m feeling.
He’s dangerous. Too beautiful, too cocky, too much. He looks like he expects me to fall at his feet, but I won’t. When he touched me, I felt something. I felt it right to my core and I wanted him. He’s beautiful. He’s been nothing but nice and polite to me even when I was being mean and hateful to him. But guys like him, like Greg, they aren’t nice. Greg hurt me, he cheated on me, played on my insecurities and he bruised my heart. I can’t risk it happening again.
I might have had a moment with Justin, but a moment isn’t worth risking a lifetime with a broken heart, because when a single touch can make time stand still, anything more could make the world implode.
I abandoned my lawn chair a while ago and now I’m stood with my new friends, talking and laughing and drinking. I don’t know why I notice the moment Justin stands from his chair. Though I try to concentrate on the conversation the girls are having around me, all of my subconscious thoughts are aimed at him. I watch as he moves through the groups of people, walking past me without a single glance in my direction. He pauses by a beautiful redhead, leans down and speaks to her. She clings to his hand as he leads them away.
My body reacts without my permission and when he looks at me, I’m staring right back at him. His expression shutters at whatever he sees on my face and then he’s gone, walking past me and away from the party and out into the darkened parking lot.
When I force myself to look down, my hands are shaking, and my heart is beating erratically. It shouldn’t matter what he does. I shouldn’t care that he’s taking that girl home or wherever to fuck her. Because I don’t like him, we have no connection, and that moment I thought happened earlier was nothing more than a mistake.
Swallowing the bitter laugh that rises in my throat, I realize that as much as I try to, I can’t even lie to myself. The moment Justin and I shared was real and now I have to figure out how to hate a guy that my heart wants to be mine.
Hours later when Dino drops me back off at my hotel, I crawl into the bed, my body tired and my mind in turmoil. Justin never came back to the party. I tried to enjoy myself. I went through the motions, drinking and chatting with my new friends, but my mind kept wandering back to him, leaving with her.
As I fall asleep, I try to think about Dan. I should be focusing on Dan. He’s perfect for me and yeah, maybe the chemistry isn’t quite there just yet, but it can grow. I just need to try harder. Justin might be what my heart is pulling me toward, but my head is in charge and I need to remember that a guy like him, a guy like Greg, could break me and I really don’t want to be broken.
That night when I dream, it’s of two men, two opposing forces—one that I’m running toward and one I’m running away from. When the man I’m running toward stops and lets me catch him, my heart breaks when I realize he’s wrong person. My sister Tiff believes that dreams are our subconscious way of sending a message, but I refuse to believe that this dream is anything more than a fucked-up result of too much food and too many bottles of beer.
Rather than exploring the city on Sunday, I veg in my hotel room eating room service and binge-watching superhero films on my laptop. I don’t bother to shower or get dressed. I indulge in a pajama day and by the time the sun has set I feel like a slob, but my mind is quiet and my body relaxed and happy.
The next morning, I set my alarm earlier than normal and enjoy a long hot shower, washing and conditioning my hair before styling it and even adding a little makeup. By the time Al pulls up outside the hotel, I’m already sat on the wall and waiting for him. Everything that happened with Justin on Saturday has firmed my decision that Dan is perfect for me. I might not get as many butterflies with him as I do with Justin, but I’m sure the chemistry will come if we just spend more time together.
“You’re eager this morning,” Al says when I slide into the passenger seat next to him.
“I am, and I need coffee,” I say, my voice a little more frantic than normal.
“Okay then,” Al says, without commenting on how weird I’m behaving and a few minutes later we pull up outside the coffee shop.
“Do you know how Dan takes his coffee?” I ask.
Al shakes his head. “No clue.”
“What?” I ask, surprised. “I thought you were his driver normally?”
“I am,” Al says with a nod.
“So how can you not know how he takes his coffee? You know how I take my coffee and you’ve only known me for a week. You had it down by the second day.” I say perplexed.
“Riley, Mr. Winters sits in the back. If he wants a coffee, he would arrange for someone to have it delivered to him. We don’t chat. He tells me where he needs me to take him and I drive. That’s it.”
I stare at him dumbfounded.
“That’s my job, honey. I’m a driver, I drive,” he says, smiling at me warmly.
“I know, but…” I really don’t know what to say.
“Go grab us coffees and see if they have any raspberry muffins please,” Al says and I nod, climbing out of the car and making my way into the coffee shop. There’s a queue of people waiting to be served and as I wait my turn my mind wanders. By time I’m at the front of the line I realize that I don’t really know Dan at all. Sure, I know some of the basics, but we’ve missed out a whole part of getting to know each other. I want to want to learn more about him, but the truth is that as much as I want to be interested in him, I don’t think I am.
With our food and coffees in hand, I climb back into the car and hand Al his drink and muffin, silently picking at my own. When we arrive
at the office a few minutes later, Al is looking at me with concern on his face.
“Are you okay, honey?” He asks.
“Before you met Janette, did you ever meet someone that was perfect for you on paper, but in reality there was just nothing there?” I ask him.
His face softens and he tilts his head to the side and smiles. “Riley, you’re so young; you have years to find your someone. Don’t settle for anything less than someone who makes your world stop, someone who sets you and your heart on fire.”
“Is that how it was for you?”
“That’s how it still is. Even after thirty odd years, time stands still every time I see her.” He says with a wistful look in his eyes.
“I hope I’m lucky enough to meet someone like you, Al.” I say.
He laughs. “Get yourself into work, text me if you need me.”
“Thank you,” I say, leaning forward and dropping a light kiss against his cheek.
Like normal, or at least how my normal has become since I came to Houston, I take a seat at the desk I’ve claimed as mine and get to work. I decline Dan’s invitation to join him for lunch under the guise of being too consumed with the code I’m inspecting.
But I’m not really working. Instead, I’m staring at my laptop screen, watching distractedly as hours pass by. No matter what I do, I can’t force something with Dan that isn’t there. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us and I can’t keep using him as a distraction to help me ignore Justin either. I need to stop leading him on and I need to stop pretending.
“Riley.”
Recognizing Dan’s voice, I steel my resolve and slowly turn around to face him. “Hi, Dan,” I say, gripping my pen tightly in my hand.
“I thought we could try Mexican food tonight,” he informs me, his messenger bag hanging across his chest.
“I actually can’t tonight, Dan. I really want to get these notes finished so that tomorrow I can sit down with the guys and talk through what I’ve found so far. I’m conscious that my time here is passing quickly and I want to be as much help as I can be.”
