“What the hell just happened?” Paul mumbled.
“Not a clue.”
“Maybe he’s finally come to his senses.”
Fred stepped forward and grabbed onto Romeo’s forearm. “Come on, let’s get you back.”
Romeo was hauled to his feet, then marched back down the corridors. He ignored the threats, and propositions, and went to his cell with no fuss.
He’d fucked up.
****
Romeo’s obsessive pacing got Will’s attention. He knocked on the bars of his cell, and Romeo went over to his and hung his arms through.
“What’s got you rattled?”
“Too many things going on in my head.”
“Like what?”
“Like … I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel.”
Will laughed. “Supposed to feel? You feel how you feel, there’s no supposed to about it.”
“But it’s … messy.”
“Lay it down for me.”
“Happy, excited, flattered… Proud?”
That’s what he felt when he thought of the copycat. They were the same. They were family, but then when he thought of Chad.
“Worried, stupid … guilty?”
“That’s quite a list. I can see why you’re confused.”
“How do I arrange it, sort it?”
Will hummed. “I think first of all you’ve got to work out what happened to make you feel that? So what did Chad say?”
Romeo shook his head. “Like I’d tell you.”
“You and he are odd.”
“Why? Because we don’t conform to normal rules.”
“I just don’t get it. You tried to kill him, and now you’re … what, exactly?”
“Too complicated for simple minds to understand.”
“Fuck you. If you have such a complex mind, then why didn’t you kill him in the farmhouse. You had him for weeks.”
“It wouldn’t have fit my pattern.”
“Why bother with a pattern?”
“To keep my desires in check, to have a rest period for anticipation and excitement to grow, to insure I was less likely to get caught.”
“But you did get caught, same as me. I stabbed two men to death, you killed four people over an eight-month period. Both of us ended up here.”
“You ended up here because you were reckless, the attack was unplanned, frenzied, in daylight, in front of witnesses. I’m here because I underestimated someone, got lured into a false sense of security, and got caught.”
“Same result—”
“But the execution was different. You were an idiot, but I got outsmarted.”
“And now him and you are buddies?”
“Something like that.”
“It’s just … not normal.”
“That’s why I like it. Fuck normal. There’s too many normal people, normal desires, normal jobs, normal relationships. I liked being the abnormality.”
“You like being messed up in the head.”
Romeo lowered his gaze. “At first I didn’t, but I’ve come to accept it. Come to like it. I am what I am. What about you? Do you like being messed up in the head.”
“I’m not messed up. I’m the only sane person here.”
“And Holly thinks I’m in denial.”
****
Romeo had been sixteen when he went to his first funeral. He’d go to more, but it was the first he remembered most vividly. It had been his nanny’s funeral on his mother’s side. The atmosphere was sad, dull. People were crying, hanging their heads, walking slowly, whispering. Romeo hadn’t experienced anything quite like it.
She’d been a nice nanny, they visited her once a week, and she always gave him boiled sweets. She’d been a smoker, and the smell of smoke smacked him in the face like a physical force when he went into her house. She’d told him it was good for his lungs, completely ignoring all the scientific research and reports.
Romeo would play with bubbles in her yard, and when he got older, he’d sit beside her and watch her fill in the crossword.
He knew he should’ve felt something when she died, but there was nothing, only an emptiness in his chest. She died post-magpie after he’d accepted he wasn’t going to feel anything, had stopped trying. It was who he was.
Romeo saw the slight confusion in his mother’s watering eyes, it was the first time she’d come close to seeing the monster. She didn’t understand why he wasn’t crying, or showing any emotion, and instead of admitting the truth, and telling her he was void of all feelings, he wrapped his arm around her shoulder, and whispered that he was being strong for her.
The suspicion vanished, and she cried harder while attempting to tell him he was such a good son.
Both his mother and father loved him, but he couldn’t return that love, and had tired of trying to force it, bring it to the surface—it wasn’t there. He decided that day he wouldn’t shatter their lives, destroy their love, by letting the monster out.
He would lock it away until after they died.
****
Romeo looked at Holly’s shirt. It was near enough completely open, not so much as flashing her bra, but she had it on full display. The same bright red as her lipstick, and the material shimmered. Holly lowered her gaze looking pleased. She’d thought he was checking her out, and any denial that he wasn’t would’ve only fueled her fire. Romeo said nothing.
When he glanced back at Paul, he wasn’t leaning against the wall like normal, but had taken a few steps closer for a better view. Romeo raised his eyebrow at him and he backed off, muttering.
“I think you should accept the reasons that led to you killing rather than blindly accepting you’re a monster. Only then can you move forward.”
Romeo glared at her. “Are you a journalist or my psychologist? And why would I want to move forward. I’m stuck here for life.”
Holly carried on as if he hadn’t spoken.
“You were neglected by your parents. Picked on by your fellow students. Overworked in the workplace.”
He was never neglected by his parents. He’d been popular at school, good looking, and clever, and at work he crushed any opposition, his boss loved him until he took his job, too.
“Those negative relationships would’ve contributed to what you did to Asher Campbell.”
“Who?”
“Number five.”
He grinned at her.
“When number five picked you up in his car, how were you feeling?”
“Nervous, apprehensive.”
“Because you didn’t want to go through with it.”
“If I didn’t want to go through with it, I wouldn’t have. I was nervous and apprehensive in case it didn’t happen. I’d got my hopes up before.”
Holly flicked through her notes. “He wasn’t the first person you tried it with. Trisha Noble said she had a lucky escape from you.”
“Who?”
“She picked you up along that road two nights before you got your number five. She said how you looked panicked, distressed, claimed a taxi driver had threatened you at knifepoint. She said you were convincing.”
“I did get an A in drama.”
“She took you back to her place, you had a coffee in the kitchen, then called the opposite taxi firm to the one you claimed attacked you.”
“Sounds about right.”
“There were no CCTV cameras. Her son was asleep in his bedroom. They lived in a remote location, no neighbors. No one saw you, so why didn’t you kill her?”
Romeo scrunched his eyes shut. There must’ve been a reason he hadn’t gone through with it, he just couldn’t remember.
“It’s because you didn’t want to. You have a conscience, a heart. That day, you looked inside yourself, and couldn’t do it.”
“There would’ve been a reason.”
Holly smiled. “There is. You’re not a complete monster like you think you are.”
“Tell that to the family and friends of the ones I killed.”
&
nbsp; “There’s a bit of good in you, I know there is, there has to be, but you’ve repressed it, disconnected from it. That night with Trisha was probably the last time you let that good out.”
“You’re wrong.”
It didn’t matter what he said, Holly had made up her mind. Him not killing the perfect victim had somehow confirmed there was some good in him. There had been so many failed attempts, all different reasons why he didn’t kill. They frustrated him, but in the end, it added to the build-up, made the kill even more satisfying when he finally got it.
“Romeo?”
“Sorry, what?”
Holly pressed her lips in a grim smile, then gathered her papers together. “You’ve been distracted today.”
“Maybe because you’re not listening to a word I’m saying.”
“I don’t think it’s that.”
“Of course you don’t.”
“I think it’s to do with Chad. I heard about what happened.”
“How did you hear?”
Holly glanced behind him, so quick if Romeo wasn’t concentrating, he would’ve missed it. She’d looked at Paul.
“Do you think he’s going to stop visiting you?”
“It’s up to him.”
“How would you feel if he stopped?”
Romeo looked away. He’d feel like there wasn’t any point anymore. Coldness seeped into his veins, and he shivered.
“If you ask me, they should’ve stepped in and stopped the visits months ago.”
“Why do you say that?”
“What Chad’s doing is cruel. He openly mocks your failure, and now, when you’ve become reliant on him, he’s ended your visits.”
“He hasn’t ended them.”
“He’s cancelled Wednesday.”
The words were like a physical blow, and the coldness in his blood turned to ice, freezing everything, crystallizing his heart.
“What?”
“Oh, didn’t they tell you.” Holly said. “I thought you knew.”
Romeo could tell by the tone of voice she was lying. She knew he didn’t know, and she was drinking in his reaction. Her eyes were wide, taking it all in with excitement.
Bitch.
Romeo turned back to Fred and Paul. Paul grinned, but Fred had the decency to close his eyes, and look regretful.
“I was gonna tell you later,” Fred said. “Chad phoned up and cancelled Wednesday’s visit.”
“Did—did he say why?”
Fred shook his head.
“Don’t worry,” Holly said. “I’m not gonna end our visits. I’m not like Chad.”
“You got that right.” Romeo growled.
Holly ignored the tone of his voice and heard what she wanted to hear.
She gave him a dazzling smile. “I’ll be here, same time next week.”
****
“I had a threesome once.”
Romeo closed his eyes, trying to shut out Will’s cheerful voice. Chad had cancelled his visit. There was nothing to look forward to, and all Romeo wanted to do was curl up in bed moping to the picture of him on the wall, but Will wasn’t having it.
“Me, can you believe it, a threesome…”
“I feel sorry for them.”
“What was that?”
Romeo got out of bed and went over to the bars. “I said I feel sorry for them.”
“You’re a nasty piece of work, you know that.”
“Oh, I know.”
“But good looking, handsome.”
“I didn’t know you swung that way.”
Will laughed. “I don’t, but even so, I’m not blind. I can see it. You must have some stories to tell.”
“Stories?”
“Of the threesome variety.”
Romeo shrugged. “Maybe…”
“Don’t leave me in suspense, tell me one. A memorable one.”
Romeo turned his back to the bars, then slid down to sit on the ground. He heard Will do the same in his cell. There was nothing else to do, the news was trivial, the cartoons horribly repetitive, that left reminiscing.
“When I was at university, I got a lot of interest, girls, boys. They all kinda blurred together. Sex was a physical release, nothing more.”
“What else is it supposed to be?”
“I dunno, I was looking for something I guess.”
Will tutted. “Love is so overrated.”
“I’m not talking about love. My lecturer saw me getting all this attention, and I knew she liked me more than her other students—
“No way…”
“Yes way. She’d flirt, be very suggestive, wear revealing clothes, short skirts.”
For weeks she’d been dropping hints, winking at him, bending over in front of his desk. But to him, it would be no different having it with her, than the other girls in his class. He couldn’t see any advantage to acting on her lust. Sex was sex, enjoyable, but it didn’t satisfy the monster in his head. It didn’t force him to shut up for a while.
“Your lecturer seduced you. That’s hot, seriously hot.”
“She asked me to stay behind to look over my paper. Everyone left, and I followed her into the office. As soon as she closed the door, she was on me.”
Will banged the bars making Romeo jump. “Christ, Romeo! What was her name?”
“Elena.”
“Eager Elena.”
“She was very experienced, knew what she was doing, how she wanted it. She took my pants off, got me hard, then pulled me towards her desk. She sat down, spread her legs—she had no underwear on, then guided me into her.”
She’d moaned, and panted, and looked like she was loving it, but just like Romeo predicted, it didn’t feel any different. Enjoyable, but not earth shattering. Then she’d paused, grabbed his hand, and held it to her throat, and something just clicked.
She’d laughed at Romeo’s shock, then told him she liked to be choked, it felt good.
Romeo tightened his grip, and the monster in his head froze. He squeezed, and a dam of endorphins broke in his head. It felt good, a relief—he couldn’t describe it, didn’t know what was happening, but more and more pressure on her throat satisfied the monster. It made it purr with pleasure. He wasn’t hard anymore, his cock slipped from her eager body, but he didn’t care. It wasn’t about sex, it was something else, the something else he’d been searching for. Elena’s eyes bugged from her head, and she clawed at Romeo’s hand, but he didn’t stop. He couldn’t stop, it felt too good, finally giving in to the itch, finally understanding how to cure it.
She patted her hand along the desk, found a paperweight, and knocked Romeo in the head with it. He fell to the floor, touched his head, and felt blood. Elena gasped, and wheezed for breath, then got behind her desk, using it as a barrier between her and Romeo.
“What the hell is wrong with you?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never known, and I doubt I ever will.”
“What?”
He got to his feet, pressing his palm over the cut on his head.
“You hit me.”
“You tried to kill me.” She whispered.
“I … I wanted to.”
“You did—you animal.”
“Monster.” Romeo corrected. “Call me what I am. A monster.”
“Whatever. I saw that look in your eyes. You wanted to do it. You were going to do it. You—you’re evil.”
“And you’re a lecturer who fucked her student, asked him to strangle her, then assaulted him with a paperweight. It’s in both of our interests to keep this quiet…”
“Romeo!”
He blinked out of the memory, then looked around his cell.
“Huh?”
“You went quiet on me.” Will said. “Then what happened? Was it good?”
“It was memorable…”
“Don’t leave me hanging.”
“We fucked on her desk hard and fast, knocked papers flying, screamed each other’s names, all the normal porn clichés…”
“You ho
rny dog. The best you’ve ever had?”
The best he’d ever had was Chad, in the farmhouse on the table. He’d strangled Chad, teasingly close to killing him, but Chad looked as if he loved it, then thanked him for it. Both he and the monster had got a kick out of it.
“Not the best.”
“Go on then, what tops that?”
Romeo snorted. “That’s for me to jerk off to, not you.”
Chapter Seven
Chad didn’t visit for two Wednesdays in a row.
It was the morning of the third Wednesday, and Romeo couldn’t get out of bed. He didn’t eat the breakfast pushed through his hatch, he stared at it as it attracted flies.
At least something was having fun in his cell. His fan mail from the last two weeks littered the floor, and he ignored Will each time he asked for it.
There was no point to anything.
He’d failed at killing five and didn’t even have Chad as the consolation prize. He had hours, minutes, and droning seconds, until he finally died, monster gnawing at his mind every step of the way.
Romeo reached for the picture of the feather and pulled it off the wall.
Half white, half black, flawless.
He understood why Chad had cut him out, his reaction to a copycat hadn’t been what Chad was expecting, but despite how they changed towards each other in the farmhouse, Chad was still a good guy, and Romeo was a bad one.
They complemented each other, fit like a puzzle. A jagged, broken puzzle, but still a puzzle. Romeo was bad, Chad was good. Chad was light, Romeo was dark. Chad was a hero, and Romeo was a villain. They were opposites, the perfect twisted yin-yang. Romeo understood why Chad set him up to be captured, because no matter what, he was still good at heart. He would always be the detective just as he would always be the killer.
Romeo tacked the feather back on the wall when he heard footsteps approaching. Fred appeared at the bars, looking down at Romeo’s food.
“It’s up for grabs if you’re interested.”
“No, Romeo, I’m not interested.”
“Then why are you at my cell.”
“Chad’s visit is going ahead.”
Romeo sat up. “What?”
“He’s visiting today, same time as normal.”
His heart thawed, warmth came back into his veins. He didn’t even register Fred walking away, instead he looked at Chad’s picture on his wall.
Two for Joy Page 6
