“So what do I do?” I ran my hands through my hair and yanked at it.
“You go out there and tell her you’re an asshole, and you pray that she gives you a chance to explain why.” He moved toward the door. “Then you make sure that your little flings know that they aren’t needed anymore. I had one of those too, and trust me… they don’t go very willingly, just ask your mother.”
I nodded before looking up at him, “Thanks Dad.”
“Don’t thank me yet.” He smiled slightly. “You get to explain to your mom why all this happened, and then you’re on clean up duty tomorrow.” He opened the door and before I could respond, he slipped out. I guess it was the least I could do.
I reached in my pocket and pulled my cell out. I quickly typed out a text to Brinley telling her our deal was off and not call me anymore before going to have a long overdue talk with the girl I can’t seem to escape from. Only when I came out, she was nowhere to be found.
Chapter 10
Jessica
I heard it from across the pool. Ryan said something to Brinley to make her go off on him. As soon as the screaming started, I knew that was the distraction I needed to escape unnoticed. I’d given my congratulations to Emma and Brock, and after grabbing my shoes I made my way down to the beach. I glanced over my shoulder a few times to make sure no one was following me before I slipped into the darkness and headed home.
The water was perfect that night. The waves were breaking better than they had since I arrived. Stacked to the horizon, and curling perfectly. It was too bad that I’d spent the evening at the wedding. I trudged up the beach, swinging my shoes in my hand as the wind blew my dress around my ankles. My toes itched to touch the water, but I didn’t want to ruin my dress.
When I got to my parents’ house, I sat down on the steps, and just stared out into the night. The beach was empty other than the party I’d just left. I could hear whoops and hollers from party goers before fireworks began to burst in the sky. I knew the Sutters were famous for their parties, but it had been years since I’d been to one. As I watched wave after wave break on the sand, my heart couldn’t take it anymore. The ocean was calling me, and even though I know better than to go out alone, I didn’t seem to care. Coming back here was a bad choice, thinking that Ryan would forgive me was another bad choice, why not add to the list?
I rushed up the steps and into my room, tugging at my dress on the way. After stripping out of it, I reached for my bikini and wetsuit. I quickly dressed, pulled my hair back, and rushed back outside. The fireworks had ended by now, so I grabbed my board and began walking down the beach toward the water.
I stood in the shallows letting the cool water swirl around my ankles as my head dropped back and I stared at the sky. The stars and moon were the only light, but once my eyes adjusted, I could see the whitecaps in the distance. The sound they made when the crest finally fell over opening to a perfect curl was something that made my heart sing. My body sagged as the pressures from the day melted away. The ocean has always been my home, and just thinking about not having this makes me hurt.
After strapping my leash on, I hooked my board under my arm, and jogged into the deeper water. I haven’t used a leash in over a year, most pros don’t, but I don’t want to lose my board in the dark. After duck diving under the impact zone, I paddled out and turned to get into position. It only took a few seconds before a beautiful set started rolling in. I rushed to get into position and charged the second wave in the set. It began cresting beautifully, and as it opened up, I took the drop.
My entire body lit up as my feet guided my board up and down the line. It was second nature, but it felt good to be out here for fun. When the barrel closed, I kicked out, and paddled back to position.
I don’t know how long I stayed out there. I know that when I finally decided I’d had enough, I was so tired that my arms and legs felt like jelly. After my final ride, I let myself drift toward the beach. I unstrapped my leash, and trudged away from where the ankle busters were lapping at my feet. After wedging my board in the sand, I dropped down and sat with bent knees. It was quiet, but my thoughts were anything but settled. I tugged the zipper on my wetsuit down as I pushed it to my waist. Taking a deep breath, I let my head drop on my crossed arms. If he hadn’t cleared his throat, I wouldn’t have even heard him coming.
ooooooooo
Ryan
I’d know that form from anywhere. I saw her make her final ride in before she practically collapsed on the beach. Her bronze skin glistened from the water beading on it. Her blonde hair was pulled up on her head, and her shoulders slumped when she sat down, dropping her head.
“Guess we had the same idea,” I shouted as I approached her. I wanted to alert her that I was there so she wouldn’t be frightened. Her shoulders lifted in a shrug, but she didn’t say anything. “I deserve that.” I sighed. I stopped beside her, wedged my board in the sand, and lowered myself to the ground. I’d come out here to clear my head and figure things out, but changed my plans when I saw her.
“What are you doing here, Ry? Brinley not give you what you want?” Her words were sharp as she lifted her head and stared out at the water.
“I came out here to think. I do that a lot. From what I remember, you used to do that too.” I put my hands behind me and leaned back. We sat there, both staring out into the distance, not talking. The waves were the only sound besides a few crickets in the distance. “Brinley and I aren’t together.” I swallowed. “We never really were.”
“Funny.” She laughed humorlessly. “That’s not what she said. I was told you guys have been together for years.” Her tone was mocking and I could tell without even seeing her face that she was rolling her eyes.
“I want to talk to you Jess, like really talk, but I need you to hear me.” I huffed.
“Why?” She shifted this time, and when she turned toward me I could see the tears pooling in her eyes. The moon shone on them causing them to sparkle, and her jaw flexed as she ground her teeth together.
“Because I’m an idiot. Ok, is that what you want to hear? I’m the biggest asshole on the planet. I never should have let things end the way they did, and I want to fix it.” I flung my arms out to the side as I waited for her to believe me.
“I don’t know what you could possibly say that would change anything. I’m leaving tomorrow. You live here. I live there.” She waved toward the water. “What’s changed?”
“Nothing I guess.” I sighed as I picked at the sand.
“I’m sorry that you and Brinley broke up, Ry. I can’t give you what you want, though. I’m not like her,” she muttered.
“We didn’t break up.” I was frustrated at this point. It seemed like she wasn’t hearing me. “We were never together. She was my date this weekend, that’s it.”
“But you slept with her.” Jess’s head swung in my direction. Her eyes pierced me as a look of pure devastation washed over her. When my chin dropped, her shoulders sagged.
“Yes,” I whispered. “We weren’t together. It had nothing to do with you.” I turned away from her. I knew that she’d know I was lying. It was all about her, and everything to do with hurting her.
“I don’t care if we were together or not, Ryan. You know how much I hate her. She tried to break us up all the time when we were together. You were there when I told you over and over again that she wanted you. You brought her here because of me! I’m not stupid!” she growled. We sat there for a moment in the silence as her words hung in the air. “I have an early flight.” She quickly stood and picked up her board. “I’ll see ya around.” She turned and rushed toward her house, leaving me sitting there in the darkness. I listened until I heard her feet thunder up the steps of the deck at her parents’ before I grabbed my board, and rushed to the water. I needed to figure out how to show her that I meant what I said. I wanted to fix this.
I paddled out into the dark depths hoping that the waves didn’t die out on me. I needed to exhaust myself to get my brain
to shut down. As I bobbed on my board, waiting for a wave, I watched the lights at Jess’s house go out one by one. I stared for longer than I should before I caught a ride.
I needed her to hear me out. I needed her to see that I meant what I said; I was sorry and I did still care, but I don’t think words were what she needed at the moment. In the past I’d always had to rely on my actions to get my point across, and it looked like I’d be doing that again.
I stayed out there until exhaustion took over. My brain was full of energy, but my body was spent. I dragged my feet as I slowly made my way home. On the way there I realized that my dad was right, and I was going to do the one thing that he never had the guts for… I was going to chase her.
ooooooooo
Jessica
“You ready, or not?” My brother, Drew, was tapping his foot as he stood in the doorway of my bedroom.
“Almost. My flight doesn’t leave for another three hours. We’ve got plenty of time,” I muttered as I moved around my room, shoving things into my suitcase. I hadn’t brought much with me, but I didn’t want to leave anything behind. I had no intention of coming back here anytime soon. “What’s your rush?”
“Jodi wants to spend the day working on that baby.” His brows bobbed as he grinned at me.
“Eww,” I wrinkled my nose. “TMI Drew.” My face twisted in disgust. I knew my brothers had sex, but I didn’t want to know about it. I never told them about my boyfriends, as far as they knew I was still a virgin.
“You’ll changed your mind one day.” He chuckled, voicing my exact thoughts.
I zipped my suitcase as I pushed the last piece of clothing inside before pulling it off the bed. “I left my old board out downstairs. Can you put it away for me later?” I headed for the door, dragging my bag behind me.
“Sure.” He shrugged as he came up behind me, taking my bag out of my hand. “I can’t believe you still go out at night. Aren’t you worth a lot of money right now?”
“Probably, but I needed to clear my head.” I sighed as I headed down to his car. The evening before was never talked about again as we headed to the airport. Despite this always being my home, I couldn’t help but feel a weight lift off my shoulders the farther we got from the beach and Ryan’s house.
ooooooooo
After checking in and getting my boarding passes, I hugged my brother bye and made my way to the line at security. Wilmington had a smaller airport, so it wasn’t a long wait. There were a few vacationers returning to reality, and some college kids coming home for the summer. I headed for my gate, ticket in hand, as I heard my name being called out. When I glanced back, it was a young girl with a smile plastered on her face. “I knew it was you!” She pointed as she did a little dance and poked the guy that was with her in the side.
“Hi.” I waved back as she began digging in her purse and rushing in my direction.
“Can get an autograph, or a picture?” She thrust a pen and paper toward me before shoving her phone at the guy standing a little behind her.
“Sure.” I took the paper from her hand and scrawled my name across it. “Do you surf?”
“Not really.” She grimaced.
“She falls,” the guy behind her clarified.
“Shut up.” She glared at him as her cheeks pinkened. “I try.”
“Keep trying. We all fall at times.” I handed her paper back to her before putting my arm around her shoulders and turning to pose for the picture.
“Thanks.” She looked at the paper like it was a golden ticket of some sort before grinning up at me.
“Well, I need to go so I don’t miss my flight. Keep practicing, you’ll get there.” I waved and scurried away. I still had a little time, but I didn’t want to draw attention to the fact that I was there. I wanted my privacy, and I wasn’t really in to mood to start trending on Facebook or whatever other social media site, I’m sure, the girl I just met was posting to.
Chapter 11
Ryan
I knew she was leaving today, but I had no idea when. Last night she claimed to have an early flight, but when I drove by her house today all the cars were still there. I was supposed to work, but I knew I couldn’t fix whatever this was from here. I decided to find my boss first and tell him that I needed a few days off for some family stuff. He knew my dad, and didn’t seem to have a problem letting me slide this once. I’ve always shown up for work, and worked extra shifts to cover other lifeguards. The next big hurdle would be telling my parents. Not that they would care that I was leaving, but I was going to need some money from them.
“Where are you in such a hurry to get to?” My sister stuck her head in my door.
I stuffed a few more shirts into my bag, “Shouldn’t you be on your honeymoon at this point, or at least with your new husband doing ‘stuff’?”
Emma laughed as she came the rest of the way into my room and sat down on my bed. “We’re heading out this afternoon, and we did plenty of ‘stuff’ last night and this morning.” She giggled. “Want some pointers?”
“Gross! No!” I shuddered as she laughed harder.
“So again I ask, where are you going?” She motioned to the luggage.
“California, I hope,” I muttered.
“Well it’s about time.” She sprung from the bed. “Wait’ll I tell Brock. He owes me.” She laughed as she ran out of the room.
I zipped the suitcase shut, glanced around one last time to make sure I didn’t forget anything, and then made my way to the living room. When I rounded the corner my dad was standing there leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. He looked angry, and I couldn’t figure out why.
“What?” I flung my arm that wasn’t holding my suitcase out to the side.
“It’s about time.” He chuckled.
“Time for what?” I played dumb.
“For my son to start acting like a man.” He pushed off the wall and thrust his hand in my direction. It was holding an envelope, and he motioned for me to take it. “That’ll cover you for a few days.”
“Thanks.” I took it and shoved it in my pocket.
“Did you book a flight yet?” Brock had an amused look on his face.
“I gotta find out which one she’s on.” I sighed.
“Ha!” He pointed at Em. “I win, not you.”
“What are you two talking about?” Mom stepped out from the kitchen. Great, the whole family’s in on whatever this is.
“We made a bet last night.” Em shrugged.
“Glad to know that on your wedding night, you were thinking about me.” I snickered.
“Oh, it wasn’t all about you.” Brock grinned.
Dad rolled his eyes, “Why are you even here?”
“We wanted to stop in and say bye.” Brock shrugged.
“And see who won.” Em giggled.
“For Christ sakes,” I growled.
“Here.” Mom handed me a piece of paper. “If you hurry you might be able to catch her at the airport.”
“Thanks.” I shoved the paper in my pocket as I swiped my keys off the counter and rushed out the door, leaving the rest of them bickering over who knows what.
ooooooooo
When I got to the airport, I parked in the long-term parking and rushed to the terminal. Jess’s flight was supposed to leave in the next twenty minutes so I had a bad feeling about making it. As the planes climbed higher above me, I envisioned her on one of them staring down at me. She wouldn’t know it was me though.
I burst through the door as the ticket agent was getting ready to step away. There was no line, and my stomach sank. I was too late, I knew it.
“Wait!” I shouted as I rushed up to the counter. “I need a ticket to LAX.”
The agent turned around and smiled before she started typing away on the computer. “Our next flight leaves at 7pm, sir.”
“That won’t work. I need something sooner. Like this one.” I shoved the paper Mom had given me in her direction.
“This flight is
taxiing to the runway right now. I’m sorry.” Her fingers began moving again. “This 7pm flight is it, unless you want to wait until the morning. I could get you out at 9 tomorrow.”
“That won’t work either. I guess 7pm it is.” My shoulders dropped as I let my suitcase fall to the ground behind me. I reached in my back pocket to get my wallet out, and almost got sick when I heard the total for my ticket. My credit card company was going to think someone stole my card.
“Do you need to check your bag?” The agent smiled sweetly like I didn’t just hand my life savings over. After getting my bag checked, she handed me my boarding pass, and sent me in the direction of security.
“Thanks.” I waved as I made my way down to my gate to sit for six hours and figure out my next move. Once I got to Malibu, then what?
ooooooooo
Jessica
When the plane touched down at LAX, I was jostled awake. I’d napped during the flight to try and avoid some of the jetlag. I was going to gain extra daylight, and I was already tired from surfing the night before. My neck ached as I sat up straighter and attempted to stretch while we made our way to our gate. It was a full flight, and I knew I’d be sitting there for a while as the other passengers fought to get up and grab their carry-ons. That was ok by me though. I had no plans today, other than vegging at my place. I told Phillip that I wanted a day off, and he agreed. I never take them, so he understood my desire.
It seemed to take forever to get my bags and make my way out to my car, but it was totally worth it when I cruised down the highway with my windows down. Traffic was crazy, as it always is in LA, but it was nice to be home. I loved seeing my parents, but this was my home now, crazy traffic and all.
When I got to my apartment building, I dragged my bags upstairs and sighed when I stepped through the door. It was a small place, but it was mine. I flipped a few lights on as I tossed my bags toward my bedroom door before pushing open the slider to my balcony. As I stepped into the California sun, I closed my eyes and let the ocean breeze blow across my face. I didn’t live on the beach, but I had an ocean view. I was two rows back. I could hear the waves crashing, and it felt like home. All the stress of my past and what Ryan made me feel seemed to melt away as I stood there remembering why I came here in the first place.
Finding the Green Room (The Sutter Family Book 3) Page 7
