better. Her mind was swimming with a storm of questions and what if scenarios. Daryl said,
“Thank you for not assuming that this was something that was just in my brain. As you can see by my temporary residence, the folks here don’t share your opinion.”
“So that’s the reason you’re here? No wonder, that has to be a terrible memory to live with.”
Daryl thought for a moment.
“Well, it is terrible but it’s only half the problem.
Although I never got past the question of what would have happened if I did what that voice told me to do, it caused me to change my whole direction in life.
I realized after that day that the voice was speaking to me all the time. I just didn’t’t listen.”
Appearing a bit concerned Ali asked,
“What do you mean?”
“I started to find out that when I did what was asked of me, I could change people’s lives in the most amazing ways. For instance, I once had this dream in which I was sitting at a table in a restaurant that I visit quite a bit.
In the dream, I was across the room from the table by the windows where I usually ask to be seated. It was just a simple dream and that was it. Next time I visited that restaurant, I went to my usual window seat but stopped. I had something in the back of my head say the words,
“Don’t sit there.”
Not as crazy as the voice in the park, but it was still a voice.
“Don’t sit there.” it said.
It was then I remembered the dream and took a seat across the room to see what would happen. I couldn’t believe what happened.
This man with a beard sat down at the table by the window where I usually would have been. About five minutes later, a lady came in was stopped by the guy because he must have recognized her.
She looks at him and they both threw their arms around one another.
It turned out that they were old friends that hadn’t seen one another for twenty plus years. She didn’t even live around here.
The thing is, if I took my usual seat that day, that man by the windows would have been seated somewhere else and may never have run into his old friend. What the end result of their reunion was I’ll never know, but it taught me that when I followed the voice, I found those things happened more and more.”
Ali had an expression that was a mix between doubtful skepticism and intrigue.
“Wait, so if you aren’t in here for that first event, what happened exactly?”
Daryl thought for a moment having some trouble with an explanation. He looked at her rather shyly and replied,
“I stole something. It was a painting.
I stole a painting from a outdoor art show.”
Ali paused and softly said, “Oh.”
It became very obvious to Daryl, that his comment made her feel scared and uncomfortable.
“Why wouldn’t it Daryl?” he thought.
“You just told her you were an art thief. Nice going!”
“Look, I know how that sounds. It sounds horrible, but I promise that this a really unusual situation. I would normally never do anything like that.
Other than being an emotional wreck at times, the whole synchronicity thing usually isn’t a problem, especially when I see proof that my actions make a difference, you know?
Like the lady in the restaurant, or like the little girl.” He dropped his head.
“That is if I would have done what I needed to do.
Unfortunately, I don’t always know if following this voice or my dreams make a difference or not. Sometimes I see the results, and sometimes I don’t. Oddly though, this last time, the voice told me to steal something, and I just did it.
I also got caught and in lieu of a shoplifting charge, I ended up in here.”
Ali still sat quietly trying to think of how to respond to what he was telling her. It’s not that she didn’t believe him but she was concerned that the trauma with the little girl committed his mind to a path of doing anything to make amends for the guilt he felt about her death.
She said,
“You know, I get why you would want to do things that would make positive changes happen, but why did you end up doing something so risky like stealing?
What good could come from that?”
Daryl answered immediately,
“What positive consequence could happen by running up to a little girl’s mother at the park and pushing her down into the grass?”
Ali dropped her head and looked back at Daryl’s intense gaze. He threw himself back in the chair and said,
“Shit Ali, I don’t know if I did the right thing.
I never know if I’m doing the right thing, and to make it all worse, I really don’t have anyone to talk to about it. You know when you described feeling lonely earlier?
Well it really hit home with me. I know I gave a good speech about how you just have to not mind being lonely, but the truth is I hate it.”
He looked up at Ali expecting to see her nodding in agreement, but was sad to see that her eyes had now filled with tears and she was moments away from a full emotional collapse.
She again threw her arms around him and buried her head into his shoulder.
The tears and sobs held back from her horrible grief poured out of her like a river flooding its bank.
Daryl held her tightly as she desperately cried out.
“Oh god Daryl, why? Why am I so alone? Why did they die and leave me. Why wasn’t it me that died?”
All he could do was hold her tightly and whisper,
“It’s OK, I got you.
It’s OK.”
Now the people in the room were looking over at them. As one of the nurses approached, Daryl shook his head and waved her away for the moment trying to give the impression that she would be alright in a few moments.
Eventually she did calm down enough to speak again.
“Great, this is just fucking great. I didn’t want this to happen.
Not here.”
He gently wiped some tears from her face and said,
“Ali, this shouldn’t ever need to happen to you anywhere, not ever.
I don’t know why you were left to deal with this, I wish I did. I do know for a fact and I mean for a fact, that things do happen with some purpose.
I’ve seen it with my own eyes.
Even this moment right now is happening because it’s supposed to in some way. I know this in my heart as a solid fact without a doubt. I do!”
He took both of her hands and spoke the words with alarming intensity.
“I know for sure!”
She looked at the passion in his eyes and could hear such conviction in the words he spoke. She didn’t know if it was the emotional release or the longed for intimate touch of another person in her life, but for the first time in months, she felt hope.
She felt a reason to live.
Daryl glided his hand gently along the side of her face wiping away the last of her tears.
“Look, I don’t want to say anything messed up or sound creepy especially now with you feeling bad, but I was wondering if we could keep in touch after we get out of this horrible place.”
Ali surprised by his comment said nothing at first making Daryl feel like he’d crossed some boundary of trust.
Nervously be began to fidget in the chair.
“You know I mean, well it’s nothing weird or anything. I mean friends or whatever you, if you feel lonely and you wanted to call me you could, anytime and then maybe then I could cheer you up. That’s all.”
His innocent almost bashful behavior touched a part of her heart that endeared him even more in her eyes. She smiled warmly touching his cheek with her fingertips.
“I would like that a lot, but you promise right?
You’re not just saying this to make me feel better and then you won’t call me right?”
He was about to begin a steady rant of words to convince her of his sincerity but stopped
himself. He then stared deeply into her dark frightened eyes.
“Ali,I haven’t felt this happy for a long time and it’s because of you.
I like you a lot.
Adding in the fact that I’m in a mental hospital undergoing therapy, your ability to make me a happy person in this hell hole is a damn miracle don’t you think?”
She smiled and began to laugh wiping remaining moisture from her eyes.
“Yes, I guess it is. You know you make me feel the same way.”
As they sat enjoying the happiness of that moment, they were interrupted by one of the Psychiatrists who worked the night shift.
Apparently the nurse had gone to seek his help when Daryl waved her away.
“Is everything alright here? Are you both OK?” the doctor asked.
Ali looked at Daryl with a smile and then back at the doctor.
With a confident tone in her voice she replied,
“Yes, We’re ok.”
Daryl looked at the Psychiatrist with the same sincerity but asked in a serious voice,
“Have you seen my dog?”
Looking at Ali expecting her to see the humor in his comment, he was surprised to see her mouth hanging open absolute shock that he would joke around like that.
The doctor nodded in a serious way saying,
“Did you say your dog?”
Daryl grinned and replied,
“Sorry Doc. Apparently it was a poor attempt at being funny.
Seriously, like Ali just said. We’re doing just fine.”
With a nod, the doctor turned and walked quietly out of the room.
Ali shook her head.
“You really are a little off, do you know that?”
“Well of course. You don’t end up here thinking like the normal people.”
They spent the remainder of the evening talking about their lives outside of the hospital. They discussed their past and where they grew up. As it turned out, Ali and Daryl attended the same high
The Nocturnal Voice Page 6
