Because he doesn't deserve to get any comfort from me. This boy ripped my heart out and stomped on it like it was nothing. Like I was nothing to him.
"So you're here to apologize? You want to take me back now that you found out I never cheated on you?" Tears form in the corner of my eyes, threatening to spill.
He hangs his head. "I was hoping you'd at least give me a chance to make up for it."
He thinks he can just fix what he did, huh? Say he’s sorry and expect me to forgive him and forget everything? No. Hell no. I deserve better than that!
“Make up for what, Adam? You dumped me without giving me a chance to explain. You didn’t want to listen to what I had to say. Even when I freaking begged!” He opens his mouth, but I'm done letting him talk. "You said I didn't have to bother. You didn't want anything to do with me anymore. That we were over. That no amount of explanation would make you change your mind. Then you told me to get lost because you couldn't stand the sight of me." The tears are now falling freely down my cheeks, making my vision blurry. I swipe at them with the back of my hand and glare at him. "So, no, Adam, I'm not going to give you a chance to make up for it. You coming here doesn't change anything. You just learned the truth. But we're still done. We're very much done."
He flinches as if someone just punched him in the gut. "Maddy—"
"Please leave."
"Baby," he pleads.
"I said, leave!"
Slumping his shoulders in defeat, Adam scrambles out of my bedroom.
Scurrying out of bed, I run over to the window and shut it. Then I fall into the seat and sob, my heart ripped to pieces once again.
A tear runs down my cheek at the memory. Every time Adam tries to talk to me, I think about that night. So I wouldn't forget. So he wouldn't hurt me again.
I'll be hypocrite if I say I don't feel anything for him anymore. That will be a lie. Because even after what he did, I still love him. I haven't stopped. Despite the anger and the bitterness, it's still there.
And I hate myself for it.
My pity party is disrupted when my phone suddenly rings. I shake the bitter thoughts away, in case it's Lexi. My best friend has the uncanny ability to know what I really feel even when she can't see me.
But it's not Lexi. It's Adam's mom.
Wondering what Mrs. Hayes needs from me, I drop back on my bed and answer the call. "Hello?"
"Maddy, sweetie, is that you?"
"Um, yes, Mrs. Hayes." She called my number, didn't she?
"Oh, thank God."
"Is something wrong?" I sit up straight. Is Adam okay? Is he hurt? I was just thinking about him!
"No. Adam's fine, sweetie," Mrs. Hayes chuckles, making me realize I said it out loud. Ugh. Idiot. "But I need your help."
"Sure. What is it?"
Just because Adam and I broke up doesn't mean I'm shutting his mom out, too. We may not be close, but Mrs. Hayes has always been kind to me. Even after the breakup. Unlike Adam, she didn't believe the rumors about me cheating on her son. And that means a lot to me.
"Danny and I will be gone for a while," she explains, referring to her husband. "My sister is getting married so we have to fly to Seattle tomorrow. It’s only supposed to be a few days, but we’ll have to stay there for a week. You see, there’s a three-day business conference we also need to go to.”
The business conference has probably something to do with their real estate firm. But I don’t know what the conference and her sister’s wedding have anything to do with me.
"So, how many kids are you babysitting and tutoring these days?”
“Um, none.” Why is she asking?
“Great. Then you can accommodate Peaches.”
Peaches is Adam’s four-year old baby sister. She’s absolutely adorable. I’ve babysat and tutored her countless of times. And I miss her badly. But it’s not like I can just go over to the Hayes’ house and see her. Adam and I are no longer together. That will be all kinds of awkward.
Now Mrs. Hayes wants me to look after her daughter while she and her husband are gone? Did Adam put her up to it?
“I don’t know, Mrs. Hayes—”
"I know things are not okay between you and my son,” she interrupts with a deep sigh. Understatement of the year. "But I really need your help. We can’t take Peaches with us. The conference doesn’t allow kids. And we can’t leave her with my parents. They already have their hands full with my sister’s wedding.” She pauses. “And, Maddy, Peaches is asking for you. She specifically wants you there with her. I tried to explain the situation between you and Adam, but she keeps throwing a tantrum."
I wince, knowing full well how bad her temper tantrums can be. Several times I've personally witnessed the cutest kid I know turn into a monster. Peach can be scary when that happens.
But as much as I miss the little tyke, being in the same house as Adam is a bad idea. I tell Mrs. Hayes so.
"Please, Maddy. Peaches really needs you. I can’t rely on the twins alone. You know how Bianca is. She’s always out and about. She rarely comes home early. And Adam isn't any better these days. My son is beating himself up over what happened between you two.”
As he should be, I barely keep myself from blurting out.
“He's been spending a lot of time outside with his friends, probably to distract himself. Honestly, I don't think he's in a good shape to take care of his baby sister. So I really need your help, sweetie. Just during the nights. The twins can look after Peaches in the mornings. And you know that kid can get herself ready to daycare. She's an independent little thing sometimes."
"But—"
"And like I said, Adam is always with his friends. So there’s a possibility you won't see each other. It will be just you and Peaches.”
I bite my lip. How can I turn her down gently? Because I can’t afford to accept. If I do, I’ll be spending several nights a week at their house. No matter what she says, there’s no way I won’t be seeing Adam at all. I’ll probably even run into him often, and not by accident. I’m pretty sure he’s going to see it as an opportunity to get me to talk to him.
Mrs. Hayes needs to understand that it’s simply not going to happen. As much as I hate to disappoint her, I have to say no.
But when I open my mouth, I find myself saying, "I'll do it."
Great.
Three
How did I get here?
Here is the Hayes' family room where I’m currently watching a Disney movie with Peaches and Adam.
Not like I had any say on the matter.
We were having dinner—after Peach and I finished doing her homework—when the little girl announced that she wanted to watch TV.
I agreed eagerly, knowing Adam isn’t a fan of cheesy animated films, which exactly what Peach prefers to watch. I thought I’d finally be able to steer clear of him, after having to endure his presence at the table.
But luck apparently had no intention of siding with me. Because while I was loading the dishes in the dishwasher, and ignoring Adam's attempt to help, Peach invited him to come along.
He didn't even pretend to think twice about it. He was already saying yes even before his baby sister finished asking the question.
Ugh.
Now, here I am, feeling all kinds of awkward sitting on their comfy leather couch with Peach right next to me and Adam on her other side. It was her who insisted we sit this way. She said it would be less scary if we were all close together.
We're not even watching a scary movie!
If I didn't know any better, I'd think she planned it all along. But Peach isn't like that. She's a smart kid, but she’s not manipulative. Plus she’s too young to care about relationship dramas, even if it involves her own brother.
Maybe Adam put her up to it. After all, I still believe he made his mom talk me into this gig.
Not that I consider it as a paying gig or anything. More like a favor to a family close to me. There’s no way I’m charging Mrs. Hayes for my time here.
&nbs
p; Anyway, back to the real issue.
Suspicion nags hard at me as I give my ex-boyfriend a serious side-eye.
But his eyes are trained on the television as if he's captivated by the animated movie.
Please. He couldn’t even stand Frozen.
But why should I care? I should be happy that he isn’t paying me any attention anymore. It shouldn’t piss me off, right? Right.
It’s all I want, really. For him to leave me alone. It’s the least he could do after breaking my heart. So I shouldn’t complain at all.
I sneak another glance at him.
He’s still not looking.
Gah, I'm going crazy!
"I'm going to prepare some snacks," I announce, rising from the couch abruptly, not waiting for any response.
Reaching the kitchen, I take a deep breath and make myself busy by preparing a sandwich for Peaches. She always gets hungry during movie time, even when it’s just right after dinner.
Besides, I want some space from Adam. Need it so bad.
It’s only a week. You can do this, I tell myself silently.
“Need any help?”
“Shit!” I almost drop the jar of peanut butter and jelly at the sound of his voice. “Don’t do that.”
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to startle you.” I hear him clear his throat behind me. Then he stands next to me, making me freeze.
What is he going to do?
As if to answer my question, he grabs two slices of bread and quietly spreads PB&J on it.
I wait.
And wait.
But nothing.
Ugh. Why isn’t he saying anything? Is he really hungry or did he just follow me here?
"What are you doing?" I blurt out, unable to keep quiet anymore.
His lips twitch. “Making a sandwich.”
“We just had dinner.”
He points at the plate in front of me. “You’re also having one.”
“It’s not for me. It’s for Peach,” I snap. “You know she gets hungry when she’s watching TV.”
“Yeah, she does,” he chuckles. “That little girl has some serious appetite on her.”
I don’t respond. We’re not supposed to be joking with each other. We’re not even supposed to be talking.
But there he is, acting like we’re still very much in speaking terms.
Fine. I can play his game.
"Your mom says you're barely home this early anymore." Last I checked, it’s only a few minutes past seven.
"They're out of town. Bianca’s out with her friends. I don't want to leave Peaches alone.”
I knew it. He’s going to torment me the whole week.
That makes me bristle. "So you don't trust me to look after her.”
He lets out a breath. “That’s not what I mean and you know it.”
“No, I—”
"I can't believe him!" We both jerk in surprise when Bianca suddenly storms into the kitchen, anger written all over her face. “Did he really think—” She stops short at the sight of us. "Am I interrupting something?"
"Yes," Adam says just as I blurt a loud, "No."
Bianca glances between us in amusement, her arms folded over her chest, no longer looking angry. “Uh-huh.”
"I'm just going to take this to Peach,” I say, instead of engaging her.
Taking the plate of PB&J sandwich with me, I walk out of the kitchen, leaving the twins behind.
“What’s that all about?” I hear Bianca ask just before they’re out of earshot.
I already knew it was a bad idea to babysit and tutor Peaches, didn’t I? I should have said no to Mrs. Hayes. Made up excuses to avoid coming here. And yet I still accepted.
Seriously, what was I thinking?
It still hurts to be around him, no matter how much I pretend that it doesn’t.
Seeing Adam at school is hard enough. Being in close proximity with him? Complete torture. I just hope I’ll be able to survive after this is over.
Two hours later, I step out of Peaches’s room, closing the door behind me quietly so as not to wake her. She fell asleep on me when I was reading her a bedtime story. She didn’t even make it halfway.
It’s quiet when I reach downstairs and the only section illuminated, aside from the porch outside, is the foyer. The Hayes house is pretty big, so the darkness and silence lend an eerie vibe to it.
Where is Adam? Is he already in his room? Or did he go out to party or something?
Again, why do you care?
Rubbing the goosebumps off my arms, I cross to the foyer and open the door.
“Is Peach already asleep?”
I scream. Then quickly catch myself and glare at the boy sitting on the porch swing. “What the hell, Adam? Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”
“Sorry.” He doesn’t sound sorry at all.
“What are you doing out here, anyway? I thought you're already in your room.” Or went out to go to some party.
Why am I glad that he decided to stay?
“I was waiting for you.”
“Why?” I ask warily. Is he going to try and talk to me again?
“I’ll walk you home.” He rises from the swing and starts to approach.
“No, thanks.” I take a step back, not wanting to crane my neck to look up at him. Adam is a pretty tall guy, standing at six-three. “I can go home by myself.”
“Maddy, it’s already late. I can’t let you go alone. It’s not safe.”
“It’s not that late. And my house is just a couple blocks away.”
“Not near enough.”
I blow out a breath. “Adam.”
“Maddy.”
Damn it. What was I thinking not bringing my car with me? Was I hoping he would do this?
Idiot.
I fold my arms. “We’re not together anymore, you know. You don’t have to be all gentlemanly on me.”
“I’ll always try to be a gentleman when it comes to you,” he murmurs, the low rumble of his voice making me shiver involuntarily.
And that pisses me off.
Wanting to be finally rid of him, I grit out, “Fine! Suit yourself.”
He’s not going to give up, anyway.
I step down their porch and start to walk home, not even bothering to check if he’s following me. Just because I let him accompany me doesn’t mean I’m going to engage him in a conversation. He can walk me home without talking.
Thankfully, that’s exactly what he does. He keeps quiet as he walks beside me, maintaining enough distance between us.
Suddenly, I’m reminded of the nights I stayed a little late in his house. Instead of driving me home, we would walk. Even though what were supposed to be few-minute walks always ended up to almost thirty.
We were never in a hurry. It was as if we were strolling in a park—holding hands as we talked and laughed about anything and everything. We were seldom apart at school, but the time we spent together never seemed to be enough.
The memories brought an ache to my chest, making me walk faster, wanting to put more space between me and Adam. The last thing I need is for tears to start falling down my cheeks when he’s just right next to me. That would be mortifying.
Which is why I can’t help letting out a sigh of relief when we finally reach my house.
Adam must have heard it because he whips his head to me. He clears his throat. “So—”
“Thanks.” I quickly get inside, closing the door on him, not wanting to hear what he has to say.
But I don’t move from the door. Instead I drop my forehead against it, willing my racing heart to slow down. Is he still outside?
“Screw it.” I go over to the window and carefully peek through the curtain, just in time to see him walking away, his shoulders slumped.
Four
“You let him walk you home?” Lexi leans in her seat, her eyes wide.
We’re on our third period, and while waiting for our History teacher, I fill in my best friend on what happened last night.
>
I wasn’t really planning to. But I made the mistake of blurting out Mrs. Hayes’s request of babysitting and tutoring Peaches yesterday at lunch. She’s been all over it since then.
“He didn’t give me much of a choice,” I shrug, not wanting to make a big deal out of it.
“What do you mean?” Lexi frowns in confusion. “Did he force you?”
“No. I mean he insisted on walking me home.”
“Hmm. Did you guys talk on the way there?”
“As if. I pretty much ignored him and pretended he wasn’t there.” Not that I’d been successful. “But I thanked him just before I went inside.”
The image of Adam walking away with his shoulders sagged flashes in my mind, making my chest ache. But I brush it off, not wanting to feel sorry for him. That's a dangerous feeling. At least for me.
“Do you think there’s a chance that…” Lexi trails off.
“A chance that what?”
“That you’ll get back together by the end of the week?”
I glare at her. Did she just seriously ask that?
Seeing the look on my face, she quickly adds, “I’m just saying, maybe there’s a possibility—”
“He really hurt me, Lex.”
Guilt sweeps over her features. “I know, sweetie, I’m sorry. Ugh. Ignore what I said. I wasn’t thinking.”
I give her a reassuring smile. “It’s okay. I’m not mad.” Still, I decide to change the subject. “So, how’s Josh?”
A dreamy look arrests her features. “He’s coming over this weekend.”
“That’s great, right?”
“Absolutely,” Lexi beams. “I can’t wait to see him again. We FaceTime almost every day, but it’s not the same, you know?”
Not really. I don’t even have a boyfriend at the moment, let alone a boyfriend who’s living a hundred miles away. But I don’t tell her that.
“So, it’s just going to be you and him the whole weekend, huh?”
She nods. “And I’m going to make the most out of it.”
Yeah. Lexi should really make every moment count. I know firsthand how a relationship can crumble overnight. Not that I’m saying that her and Josh’s will meet the same fate.
Kiss and Make Up Page 2
