“No. I got to that part of the tale, but something held me back. Fuck Gabe, I should have told her everything, instead, I let her believe that Angie was a male friend. She assumed and I didn’t correct her. I just could not bring myself to say the words. My mouth and brain would not say, I was married, and my ex-wife is the one being kept alive artificially because her parents refused to listen to the medical team they pay a fuck load of money.” I heard the bitterness spilling from me. So pissed off that their decision was locking me into this difficult scenario.
“Fuck, Rafe. This isn’t a good position for you to be in, I get that, but not telling Peyton isn’t the best way to start a relationship. Remember Devon kept shit from me, and it took a potentially dangerous confrontation for her to come clean.”
“I know, mate, I know. This lie between us doesn’t sit well with me, trust me. I am not a liar and not dishonest, but I panicked, mate. I don’t want that hate between Angie and me to tarnish what I am building with Peyton,” I admitted, hating my cowardice.
“The longer you leave it, Rafe, the harder it is going to be for Peyton to forgive you. I don’t understand why you haven’t told the team about Angie being in a coma. If you can depend on anyone, it is them, mate.” Gabe’s tone held a hint of reproach, just enough to make me feel like shit. Gabriel Booth’s leadership of the Sons was the reason we were so successful and the most awarded commando team in the army. He personally asked for me to be part of Team FIVE. Letting him down because I couldn’t grow a set shamed me to no end.
“You know how it is, Gabe. Our job requires leaving all personal shit at home. The guys supported me when Angie sent me the divorce papers at the worst possible time. Over in the desert, fighting in the worst firefights of our deployment history so far. I can’t ask them to take more focus off their jobs than I already have.”
“Before the papers were served, Bastian, Cole, Kodah, Deke and you listened to me on the phone arguing with Angie. They saw how hard it was for me to go about a mission with all that shit in the back of my mind. I don’t want to do that to them too.”
“That is their choice, Rafe. You know we work as a team no matter what is happening in our personal lives. Think back to when Bastian was angry and underground fighting–getting into shit with the major. We backed him, trusted that he had our backs despite him acting like a fuckwit. It wouldn’t be any different in your situation. When we are in the zone of battle, nothing penetrates other than our objective,” Gabe reminded me in a gruff voice.
“Yeah, accepted, Captain,” I mumbled, “I just hate being a burden, ya know? My marriage was a hard period in my life, both personally and professionally.”
“You aren’t a burden Lance Corporal, you are a member of Team FIVE. Maybe it’s time to let go of that guilt, Rafe, and believe in yourself, believe in what Peyton feels for you.”
Glancing at Gabe, I couldn’t help but be shocked at his insight. He was dead on point as always, seeing everything I tried like hell to hide. Every word Gabe spoke penetrated, every sting hitting its mark. I had to man up and have that conversation with Peyton I should have had with her months ago. Our new budding relationship depended on my honesty, or I just may lose her.
“Copy that,” I murmured quietly, then went back to staring out of the window. Everything that needed to be said was done. I knew Tank wouldn’t bring it up again, and the ball was now in my court.
***
I paced up and down the small balcony attached to my upstairs flat, my eyes trained on the single road that led from the public beach to the private road I lived on here. The base was a few hundred metres from here, no one other than military personnel used this road. To get access to this area, everyone who entered needed a pass. I had already organised an approved visitor pass for Peyton and emailed it to the guard on duty. Even though Devon had one, Peyton had to have her own; otherwise, she would be turned away. My position as a commando didn’t have the kind of reach to allow a non-approved visitor to enter.
In my peripheral vision, I could see Gabe doing much the same as me, waiting for the love of his life to finally get here. It had been a long week of exhaustion with long days, falling into bed desperate for sleep, only I was more desperate to hear Peyton’s voice. So every night we called each other, talked for hours, leaving me with hardly any sleep. Not that I would have chosen sleep over talking with Bunny. I loved the way she was opening up, happy to discuss her plans for the future, the easy way she expressed her feelings for me, and where I fit into those plans and I was happy as fuck, that she was seeing the same as me.
Us together.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
PEYTON
With the windows down and the air-con off, I detected the smell of the ocean, excitement burning through me. Five long days and finally I was going to see Rafe. I couldn’t wait to jump into his arms and feel his strength and his warmth. It scared me how fast Rafe burrowed his way into my heart. He was already firmly entrenched into my life, living with me part-time and driving my car. Now it was the same but different, he was still living with me, and driving my car. The difference now was when he finished the training exercise and came back to Ballarat, and he would be sharing my bedroom–calling me his girlfriend and with any luck, much more than that … eventually.
That was definitely my plan for the future. Any reservations of putting my heart back out there, after disastrous results the first time I did, floated away all because of Rafe. When the man decided to make a move, he went full steam ahead. He called when he said he would, he asked questions about my day, made sure I was being careful and alert, but doing it without scaring me. He spoke gently, his deep voice rumbling through the phone, comforting me when his arms couldn’t. He talked of the future, of moving in permanently, of us spending weekends down here at the beach. Everything started and ended with us, and that made me want to squeal with giddiness.
“Exciting, isn’t it?” Devon said suddenly, startling me back to the moment.
“Huh?”
“Seeing them again for this first time after becoming a couple. I remember after Gabriel’s first time away from me how giddy I was to see him again. Of course, I was also very nervous,” she laughed, taking her hand off the wheel and waving it around.
“The club found out that I was hiding a few secrets, nothing major, just mentally abusive brothers and father, and that I’d had cancer as a child. Gabe found out while he was on his way home. To say he spiralled during the flight is an understatement.”
“I thought he was going to be pissed off at me, but instead, he looked at me like I hung the moon. We worked everything out, I came clean and we both made a pact never to keep anything from the other ever again. Their jobs require full focus, none of them can afford to have their mind elsewhere, too many lives depend on them being one hundred percent there. In body and mind.”
Pursing my lips, I pondered what Devon was saying. Rafe didn’t talk much about what he actually did as far as missions and such. I knew he was a Lance Corporal, a sniper and fiercely loyal to his teammates. He liked the colour blue, ate every vegetable, wasn’t fond of plain milk on its own, preferring flavoured. He was a neat freak, and happily indulged me with picking what we watched on TV. Being separated so soon after getting together postponed those precious days of newness. At least I had been honest with Rafe by telling him about Dean. The last thing I wanted was to be responsible for Rafe not concentrating on his objective, instead, worrying about me or us.
“I know, so I have been honest and open with Rafe. During my time at the compound, I have heard the ladies of the flock talking about their relationships. I especially listened to Stella and Charlotte. They have the experience of not just their husbands, but their sons as well.” Dealing with their sons, Bastian and Gabe, going off to parts unknown and dangerous situations, I decided to soak up as much of their wisdom on the subject. It was important to me to be supportive and understanding of Rafe’s job but at the same time, not forgetting about myself. I might
not be the one stalking around in a jungle or sweating it out in a desert, experiencing the horrors of war first hand; I was, however, going to be waiting at home, wondering and praying. Looking after my own mental health helped Rafe keep his head in the game.
“My future mother-in-law is such a strong woman. As are Charlotte, Mia, Rainn, Memphis and Wren. Shiloh goes without saying. Zander might not be a soldier, but being the pres of the club, she has her shit together, as well as everyone else’s. God knows she helped with my family drama,” Devon huffed, “the club encouraged me not to cut myself off from my family completely. Though I am no where near forgiving them, I can at least talk to my dad again. This weekend Gabriel and I are meeting Dad and my oldest brother for dinner. My fiancé wants us to be married ASAP, but he also wants me to have my family there, so in order to do that, I have to at least try to start the healing process and mend all the damage.”
As Devon spoke about her drama, of which I knew a little about from Rafe and Addy, I didn’t detect any animosity from her. A true testament to living in the Wounded Souls’ world.
Maybe I could reach that place with my parents. Forgiveness.
The rest of the drive was spent talking about Devon’s wedding dreams, the dress, cake, and of course, the honeymoon. Planning a wedding would be tough enough, but with the added pressure of your husband being called away at any moment, it’s amazing Devon seemed so calm and chill. Topic changes followed until Devon drove down a winding road to the water, then veered off to the dunes and a private road. A small building came into view, and a soldier came out fully dressed in camo green, sidearm and stoic facial expression. He greeted Devon cordially, checked her identification, then did the same with me, only I had to answer questions from his clipboard. Taking my photo, I signed my name at the bottom of a form and we were waved through.
“Why did he take my photo?”
“For your ID lanyard,” Devon informed me, waving hers at me. “It will make coming and going this weekend so much quicker. We can’t use it any old time, Gabriel and Rafe have to inform the base when we visit, but once we get here, we are allowed to go into town and shop without the guys and still be allowed back onto the base.”
Nodding my understanding of the procedure, I looked out the windscreen to see a huge metal and stone gate.
“We are going in there?” I asked, suddenly nervous. This was my first time seeing Rafe’s other life, and to be honest, judging by all the razor wire and the soldier guarding the outside of the fortress, I was slightly intimidated.
Devon laughed as she slowed down the car, taking a road that split from the main one.
“Ah, no. We won’t ever go further than this road. No civilian visitors are allowed, like ever. Behind these dunes is where we are going.”
Large sand dunes and coastal grasses lined the road, reminding me of my time spent at Torquey when I had been pregnant with Dean. The wind was picking up in the late afternoon, so sand whirled over the road, and the smell of rain permeated the air, signalling that maybe there was a thunderstorm on the way.
“And there they are!” Devon squealed, snagging my attention back to the view in front of me.
And what a view.
Standing on separate balconies were two muscle-bound men. Both with their hands on their hips, legs apart, sunglasses covering their eyes. Both smiling. Only one of them, however, had my insides tingling with desire and in desperate need of getting my lips on.
My god he is a hunk of a man. Thick thighs, strong arms and a cock that rocks my world.
“Oh, finally,” I breathed when Devon pulled into the parking area. Barely waiting for her to stop the car before I threw open the door and jumping out at the same time Rafe came barrelling down the metal, spiral staircase. His booted feet hitting the sandy ground before I was even halfway from the car to him. My face split in the biggest, widest smile with every step he took towards me, laughing when he whipped his glasses off his face, tossing them carelessly to the sand.
“My girl is here!” His deep, growled announcement making me giggle.
“Finally!” I agreed, just as I vaulted into his arms, completely confident he would catch me. Warmth enveloped me when Rafe wrapped his arms around me, holding me so close I could feel his chest thumping wildly under his shirt.
Instantly, my legs went around his waist, my ankles hooking at the small of his back.
“Mmmm, this is what I have been waiting for,” Rafe growled into the soft skin of my neck. “Fucking missed you so much, Bunny.” His lips kissing along the curve of my neck sending shivers through me.
“Missed you too, babe,” I cried into his shoulder, tightening my arms around his neck.
“Fucking love it when you call me babe.”
Leaning back in his arms, positive beyond a shadow of a doubt he would never drop me, I pulled my hands from his neck and cupped his face.
“Kiss me Rafe, kiss me and show me how much you missed me,” I pleaded, my thumbs smoothing over his stubbled jaw–loving the silky roughness, eager to know how that stubble would feel on my inner thighs.
“Missed you more than I can ever say, but I can definitely show you, Peyton,” Rafe breathed against my mouth. Slowly, he lowered his mouth, his dark brown eyes open and on me. “I am going to show you all night just how much, there won’t be a single part of you that I won’t suck, lick and touch.” Not giving me a chance to agree, Rafe’s mouth descended, taking my lips in a frenzied kiss that stole the very breath from my lungs. Over and over, his lips plundered me, the kiss turning from brutal to hungry to soft, then back to brutal again. His deep groans making my pussy pulse.
Similar sounds from the side of us echoed in the wind, bringing me out of my erotic cloud. Hearing Rafe was sexy and heady; hearing Gabe making the same sounds was just weird.
Reluctantly, I broke our kiss but still held his face in my hands.
“Um, maybe we should—”
“Move this to somewhere more private?” Rafe finished for me. “Good idea, Bunny.”
Turning around, Rafe started for the apartment building, me still in his arms.
“Rafe, you don’t have to carry me. My bags are in the car and your sunnies are on the ground still,” I protested, laughing at him.
“I can get your bags later, much later. The glasses aren’t going anywhere and carrying you solves two issues. One, I don’t want my captain to see my hard-on. And two, having you in my arms after five days is the best fucking feeling in the world. I ain’t letting you go, Bunny, so get used to it.” His smirk was cocky, but his eyes were hooded and intense. Rafe certainly didn’t have a problem with expressing his feelings. Something I was fast getting used to … happily.
“Whatever you say,” I sassed, dropping kisses all over his face, “and just, so you know, I most definitely know you have a hard-on.” Moving my lower body against the bulge in his jeans, delighting in the way it jerked into my open legs, and his pained growl, “Only for you, Bunny. Always for you.”
“This is a nice space, Rafe. Cosy, no clutter but lots of homey vibes,” I commented, looking around Rafe’s flat while still being held by him.
Spinning me around, Rafe showed me the small galley kitchen, briefly showed me the laundry room, which was also small.
“This is the only living space. The breakfast nook is enough for two people, and I spend little time in the lounge, which is why it only has a couch. I watch TV in my room because I hang out there more, winding down from work before crashing,” Rafe said as he walked us down the short hall to the only door.
“This is where we are going to spend the rest of the day and all of the night.” Opening the door revealing a room decorated in two complementary blue tones, one dark and one darker. A queen-size bed, side tables in whitewashed wood sat on either side of the bed, the only other piece of furniture being a large tallboy dresser. A mirrored built-in wardrobe finished the room.
“The only bathroom is an en-suite through that sliding door, and that ends the tour,
” Rafe announced just as he tossed me down onto the bed.
“You are getting fond of that move, aren’t you babe?”
“Very. Your tits bounce nicely when you hit the bed and your giggle is like a stroke to my cock.” Tearing his shirt over his head, Rafe quickly dropped down on top of me, his weight fully on me, but oh so welcome.
Immediately, I sank my hands into his short hair, gripping onto him just in case he had a stupid thought to get up or stop.
“My tits missed your hands every night you’ve been gone, my lips missed your mouth and my pussy missed your cock.” I left out that my heart missed him most of all, saying that seemed a little too serious for the fun and flirty tone we were setting. Instead, going for sexy.
“Jesus, Bunny, that mouth of yours,” Rafe groaned delightfully, his mouth sucking at the curve of my neck, his tongue licking and soothing the slight sting of the love bites. His heated groans turned me on so much, and I loved hearing his passion for me and that seeing my breasts bounce threatened his control. It was heady to think that I did that for this huge, almost broody man.
“Hmmm, let me show you what else my mouth is good for.” Putting my palms on his chest, I pushed Rafe over, rolling with him, so I was on top of him, removing my top hurriedly and tossing it across the room. His chest was bare and warm under my touch, down lower his hard cock threatened to burst through the seam of his pants.
Grinning wickedly, an idea formed in my mind. I wanted Rafe out of control, to get him away from his intense need to be in charge. I wasn’t as experienced as he was, but my body knew what it wanted. My plan was to take our comfort zones and reverse them.
“Peyton, baby.” Rafe looked up at me with wide and surprised eyes, I could see the questions in them, but I also saw heat and desire. As well as interest. I could almost hear his unspoken shout for me to keep going. Do what I want to him.
“Hmmm?” Shimmying my belly against his growing crotch, I dropped my mouth and licked down the length of his throat, hiding my nervousness from him. My relationship with Darren resulted in us trying oral sex on one another just once, with mixed results.
Rafe (The Wounded Sons Book 4) Page 11
