by Wilf Voss
"You could have been. Too late now I guess." Adam sighed. "I am sure you could have been a nice person if you tried. It is just a shame that you took this long to open your eyes. Pity, all a bit late." Adam looked at Susan who was sobbing and shaking. "Come here." He embraced her firmly.
***
Caroline glanced around; the moonlight cast shadows across the silent buildings. She had tried everything, having left the police station over a month ago, she had done nothing but think. She had nowhere to go, the stables had been sold and was soon to be demolished, she could not go back to Kate, it was clear she hated her after what has happened and she had every right to do so. She had spent a month wandering, some time in cheap bed and breakfasts until her money had started to dwindle and then sleeping rough in old farm buildings. There was nothing left of her life, she had nowhere to go and nothing to do. She could apply for a job but nobody would employ her in Devon and it would not be long before her poor reputation leeched around the small world that was the horse industry and she knew nothing else that she could do. It had not helped that she had left the stables that night only with the clothes she stood up in, she had so little and now was a dishevelled mess.
This would be the last time she would return to the stables, she had to come back to do what she had to do. Her mind had been made up there was nothing she could do.
Adam watched as a shadow crossed the yard, he looked up and saw Caroline approaching. "Caroline?"
Caroline paused, she was on-edge and had every right to be, she looked around, and the yard was deserted and had been for some time. She shrugged her shoulders and carried on walking. Soon she was at the tack room; the door was hanging off its hinges and creaked as she pushed it open. The saddles and bridles were long gone; all that was left in the room were a few empty racks and an old chair in the corner of the room. Caroline approached the chair and sat down. Adam stepped into the room; Caroline ignored him, unaware that he was watching her.
She opened her backpack, she took out a small brown bottle and some sheets of paper, she took a final look over the letter and sealed it in an envelope before placing it on an empty saddle rack. She took another, final look around the room before unscrewing the cap of the bottle; she waited for a moment, thinking, considering what she should do before tipping the contents into her mouth and swallowing hard. The liquid burned her throat; she gasped and clutched at her stomach allowing the bottle to drop to the ground. Caroline writhed in agony, slipping from the chair onto the floor.
Adam knelt down beside her, he tried to hold her, to help but he could not. He glanced at the bottle and read the clear warning that the contents were poisonous. "No... Caroline No!"
Caroline looked up. "Adam?" She looked around, screaming out in pain. It was clear that the poison was fast acting and that Caroline had swallowed a massive amount. Adam stood up quickly and ran onto the yard.
"Susan!" He ran across the yard. "Susan where are you?"
Susan appeared from one of the empty stables. "What do you want? I know I don't sleep but I do need some quiet time."
"Susan it's Caroline."
"I've told you, I am sorry. I shouldn't have done it."
"No... Caroline is here"
"Oh goody, a family reunion."
"No. Susan she is killing herself. She has just swallowed a bottle of poison."
"No... It's not my fault" Susan started to walk away. "I didn't kill her."
"Susan please. I need you."
"What?"
"Susan, you told me you controlled Caroline. I need you to do it again."
"No Adam." She cried. "I can't do it!"
"If you don't she will die and it will be your fault!" Adam grabbed Susan. "Please help her."
Susan sighed and followed Adam across the yard, she saw Caroline writhing on the tack room floor. She stalled and turned trying to push against Adam. "No... I can't do it!"
"Susan... Please try for me. Even if you fail, if you have tried I will stand beside you as a friend."
"Okay..." Susan knelt down and took Caroline's hand. Adam blinked as he watched Susan fade before him. Caroline suddenly jolted and staggered to her feet. "Oh God! The pain Adam!"
"Please try, we need to get help."
Caroline staggered and tried to walk across the tack room, but soon collapsed. "I can't move, the poison is too strong." She fell over the backpack and a mobile phone fell out of one of the pockets.
"There!" Adam clapped. "Call an ambulance."
"How?"
"The phone..." Adam pointed to the mobile phone. "This, just dial 999."
Caroline grasped the phone and fumbled to dial the emergency services. She gasped with pain but was just able to give the location and ask for an ambulance before collapsing. Adam was left in silence for what felt like hours, Caroline was still, her breathing ragged and shallow.
***
The paramedics approached the yard. "Look this is a deserted location. Let's call it in as a hoax."
"No, let's have a quick look around first." They approached the tack room, quickening their pace when they saw the light of Caroline's torch. They burst into the room. "Here she is." The paramedic quickly checked over Caroline. "She is in cardiac arrest, get the defib." They ripped her shirt open and attached the pads before activating the unit. Caroline's body stiffened and leapt before slumping silent again. They tried once more, her body jerked before the machine started a slow bleep. "We have a pulse."
"Adam?" Caroline whispered, she smiled faintly. "Is that you Adam?" She reached out for Adam's hand. "Thank you Adam."
"We're losing her. Let's move quickly."
The paramedics loaded Caroline in the ambulance and drove rapidly away. Adam was left alone, standing on the yard.
***
Caroline coughed, slowly opening her eyes. She was standing on the main yard; it was a warm sunny day. She looked around, the horses were hanging their heads over the stable doors and there was the sound of distant activity.
"Hello." The woman was furtive; she looked around her, avoiding Caroline's eye contact.
"Hello, who are you? Do I know you?"
"No... I don't think you know me. But I need to say sorry."
"Sorry?" Caroline shrugged. "What do you mean?"
"I hurt you. I caused you a lot of pain. I am so very sorry." Susan took Caroline’s hand.
"But the pain is over now." Caroline smiled. "I forgive you." As Susan sobbed Caroline stepped towards her and hugged her. "There, there. Come on, let's have some lunch. It's a lovely day."
***
Adam was alone.
The yard was silent since Susan and Caroline had left. He walked the silent yard contemplating what had happened. All he wanted to know was if he had managed to save Caroline.
***
"Caroline? Come on beautiful, open your eyes." Linda sat at her bedside, she was attached to a series of machines that bleeped and hissed as they kept her alive. It had been almost a month that she had been in a coma. Linda looked up, as there was a cough, Caroline spluttered and slowly opened her eyes. "Caroline?" Linda leapt up; calling for a nurse and helping her daughter remove the oxygen mask.
"Mum?" Caroline's voice was rasping and quiet.
"Shh... Don't try to speak."
Over the next few hours Caroline came back to full consciousness and was able to start understanding what had happened to her, she smiled as Kate joined her mother beside her bed.
"Caroline... Oh I am so pleased to see you are okay." Kate smiled, hugging her frail body. "You scared us!"
"I scared myself. I am so sorry mum!" She blinked and gulped. "I was stupid, I am so sorry."
"Please, Caroline Lets not dwell on what happened."
"Susan helped me. She saved my life."
"Sorry Caroline?" Linda smiled.
"Susan... She saved my life. It was her who called the ambulance. She has been with me, looking after me."
"Who are you talking about dear?"
&n
bsp; "You know her mum." Caroline smiled. "She used to work with her, years ago. Susan Thompson I think she said her name was."
Linda's cup of tea slipped from her fingers and smashed on the floor.
***
Linda paced the relative’s room. "Calm down Linda, what’s wrong?"
"Kate, I never told her anything about those times. I certainly didn't tell her about Susan, I never mentioned her name, and now my daughter wakes from a coma saying that she saved her life!"
"She may have heard you talk about her, you must have mentioned it."
"Kate, I promise you... I would never say her name. It would have killed me to do so,"
Kate shrugged. "I can't fathom it."
"And what she said about Adam."
Kate froze. "I know... I don't know what to think about that either."
***
"Adam?"
Adam looked up; he had become used to the silence and solitude. "Susan?" He stepped forward and embraced her. "I didn't think you would come back."
"I had to look after Caroline." She shrugged as she registered Adam's surprise. "Yes me!" She smiled. "She was in a coma, a dream state, I stayed with her, I tried to help her. I just had to make sure that she okay, keep her strong."
"Wow!" Adam smiled. "What has happened to you Susan?"
"I had time to think. I couldn't leave Caroline there like that. She was helpless, I just made sure she was safe and gave her happy dreams."
"Happy dreams?"
"Well, it has been a long time since I rode a horse or had a dream of my own."
"How did it feel?"
"What do you mean?"
"Is nice better than nasty?"
Susan smiled warmly.
Chapter 9
The evening was cool, Adam and Susan were sitting outside one of the empty stables. "I wonder what will happen when this is all demolished."
"I guess that we will still be here, but just be sitting on a housing estate. I guess it will be busier." Adam smiled. "You never know..." He suddenly stopped speaking. "What the hell?" The scene around them was changing; the empty yard was fading, and becoming faint before snapping back into vision. Now the yard was still dark but there were faint sounds of movement and there were horses visible over stable doors.
"Adam, what is happening?"
"I don't know." Adam looked around; this is not the yard, as I knew it.
"It is my yard." Susan gasped. "Oh God this is where I worked. No... What is happening?" Susan ran across the yard to the rear block of stables, she paused at the middle loose box and looked over the door, inside was a piebald cob. "Magpie?" A noise made her look up, there was a woman walking towards them.
"Susan. That is... Well, that is you?" Adam stuttered.
"It is..." Susan watched as she walked towards Magpie's stable, she had an apple in her hand. "Adam, no... This is where it starts." She cried out. "Don't make me watch this again!" Susan reached out for herself. The girl stopped dead.
"Who's there?" She glanced around.
Susan leapt forward intending to rugby tackle the girl, trying desperately to stop the inevitable happening. She hit the girl hard doubling her over. Adam watched as she hit her and seemingly merged with her, there was a second where there were two Susan's and then just one standing before him smiling.
"Oh God!" Susan gasped. "This is me! Adam, this is me!"
"You mean?"
"I can walk away." Susan stepped back from the stable. "I don't have to cause it all." She paused, staring at the apple in her hand. "There is just one thing I have to do." She placed the apple to her lips and took a bite, swallowing quickly."
"Susan no!" Adam tried to grab for the apple but his hand went right through. "What have you done?"
"Isn't it obvious? I am stopping this." She paused. "I have to do this Adam. I am toxic."
"But you don't have to be. You could be better."
"What if I wasn’t?" She smiled. "I have lived, I saw what I did. This is for the..." She gasped, clutching her stomach. "Oh oww! I have something I must do."
"What?"
"I have to say sorry to Linda. I really hurt her." She paused. "Thank you Adam. I owe you my life."
"Thank you friend." Adam embraced her. "Just please do one thing."
"Anything."
"Tell Kate I love her..." Adam faded completely.
"Adam..!" Susan cried out as she was alone on the yard, the pain in her stomach drove her on as she staggered to the office.
***
The shrill ringing of the telephone bell cut through Linda’s sleep, she lifted her head and glanced at the clock. "Two in the morning. Who on earth is calling me now?" Pulling back the blankets, she left the warmth of her bed and stumbled downstairs before grabbing the telephone receiver. "Hello..." Her heart sank when she heard Susan at the other end. "What the hell are you doing calling me at this time of the night?" She paused listening. "What do you mean, you are going? Look could this not have waited until the morning? What?" Linda stopped. "Sorry?" The word had caught her by surprise, Susan had never said sorry; she didn't think it had been in her vocabulary. "Sorry for what?" Susan started to gabble, pleading with Linda for forgiveness before she left. "Susan, you are making no sense, please go back to bed we can talk in the morning..." There was a gasp and a sigh at the end of the line before the receiver clattered heavily to the floor. "Susan? Susan!"
Linda snarled to herself as she plunged her feet into cold boots, this was no doubt one of Susan's stupid pranks. However, something was stopping her from just ignoring her this time, something about the way she had spoken, the way she had seemed to be telling the truth. She shook her head, she was no doubt being duped, but if she was, my goodness Susan would get it.
Linda drove slowly to the yard, yawning as she opened the door of her old car and stepped out into the cold. The office lights were on but otherwise there was no sign of life. Linda huffed and pushed the door open. "Look Susan, if you are taking the piss out of me..." She cut her words short as she saw Susan lying on the floor beside the desk. "Oh my God!" She knelt down beside her. "Are you okay?" Her breathing was laboured and her pulse weak. Linda stood up. On the desk, there was an open bottle of poison. She grabbed for the phone and quickly called 999.
Adam watched unseen as Linda waited for the ambulance to arrive, he watched as Susan was placed on a stretcher. He heard that her pulse had become weaker.
"Adam..." Susan tried to sit up but was pushed back down. "Adam. I said sorry. It's okay now!"
"Who is she talking to?" Linda looked around.
"She is hallucinating." The ambulance man frowned. "It’s the poison acting on her body."
***
Susan slowly opened her eyes. The light was painfully bright as she looked around.
"Susan?" The voice faded into her consciousness. She looked around, slightly disappointed that her afterlife seemed to look like a hospital ward. "Susan, how are you feeling?" Susan looked across and saw Linda sitting beside her bed; she was dressed in pyjamas and a ratty dressing gown.
"Linda?"
"Oh God you're alive!" She burst into tears. "I am so glad. I am sorry, if I drove you to this..."
Susan held out her hand grasping Linda’s tightly. "No..." Her voice was rasping, her mouth dry. "No… I owe you everything." She gulped, blinking tears from her eyes. "I am so sorry for what I did to you, to all of you. None of you deserved it, you tried to treat me like a friend and I just hurt you." She sobbed, Linda comforted her gently. "I never had any friends and this is how I treated you..."
Linda wiped her eyes. "You need to rest; we can talk about this later."
"No..." Susan paused. "I have waited so many years to apologise to you. I need to try to explain why I did what I did..." Susan sat up in bed and talked. She spoke for hours, talking about impossible things. Linda listened silently taking in every word.
***
"She's asleep now." Linda looked towards Hilary who had jus
t walked onto the ward. "Oh you've brought me some fresh clothes, thanks!" Linda took the bag. "She is going to be okay..." Linda paused. "She asked for my forgiveness for all she had done, she said she was sorry for everything."
"And you believed her?" Hilary laughed.
"I really think she meant it Hil's"
"Well, I think she had better prove it. It's all too easy to just say sorry."
Susan listened as they spoke, feigning sleep. It was true; she needed to prove that her intentions were true.
***
The day had gone slowly, Linda had promised that she would visit Susan again and had only found out that she had discharged herself when she called the hospital during the afternoon to check visiting times. She was sure that she had gone for good, she had been so keen to apologise and seemed genuinely shy of returning to the yard for fear of meeting people she had previously upset.
Linda could not fathom the change in Susan who the day before had been bullish and nasty but had then tried to take her own life and seemed to be atoning for her behaviour. She had kept saying that she had spent years before she realised that she was being so cruel to everyone. A sudden thought crossed her mind, perhaps she had tried to commit suicide again, and perhaps she had succeeded. In a panic, Linda stood up, unsure what to do or where to go. She picked up the telephone to call the police when she saw a car speeding up the driveway. She recognised the driver and dropped the receiver in fear.
Harry Thompson stepped from his car and flung open the door of the office before approaching Linda. His face was red and he snarled for her to sit down. She slumped heavily in the office chair. Harry stood in front of her.
"I don't know what the hell you did to my daughter!" Linda started to speak. "Shut up and listen to me!" He flung an envelope down on the desk. "I am just glad that I will now on longer have to spend any more time in your company and that our professional relationship is over." He stepped towards Linda, leaning down so she could feel his hot breath on her cheek. "I don't ever want to hear from you again!" He stood quickly pulling the door open, he turned before he left the office. "Don't cross me young lady. I told you before, nobody would miss you and I would take pleasure in dealing with you personally. So don't let our paths cross again Miss Gibbs." He stepped from the office and back into his car leaving in a spray of gravel leaving Linda flustered and sobbing alone in the office.
***
Hilary had spent the afternoon consoling Linda; she was incoherent but refused to go home. She believed that she had caused Susan's death and now Harry Thompson had served her eviction and had threatened her life.
