Tiger and the Unicorn

by Susan Hayes

  “You’re just pissed it had peanuts so you couldn’t have any,” Joshua snapped, then turned greener than the pine trees. He staggered to his feet and stumbled into the woods, groaning.

  Sergei turned to Guy. “That true?”

  The otter shifter nodded. He was almost as pale as the snow he was sitting on, and he looked like the faintest breeze would knock him flat.

  Tabi would never admit it, but she enjoyed watching Sergei go all alpha, and she wasn’t feeling the slightest bit of sympathy for the pair of idiots. Who in their right mind ate anything from a gas station vending machine?

  “What was it? And how much did you eat?”

  Guy was starting to look a little green around the gills. “Trail mix. Was the only thing in the machine.”

  “Wrapper.” Sergei held out his hand.

  Instead of handing it over, Guy clapped a hand over his mouth and lurched to his feet. He bolted for the woods, leaving everyone looking uneasily at each other.

  Janice grunted in disgust and crossed over to Joshua’s shelter, She picked a wrapper out of his scattered belongings and brought it to Sergei. “They had a few bags of this.”

  “And you didn’t eat it because?”

  “Peanut allergy. Lucky me, huh?”

  “Best before date, four years ago?” Sergei sniffed the packet and wrinkled his nose. “Bast with bells on, they ate this? It reeks of mould.”

  “Snakes don’t have the best sense of smell, and Guy… he’ll eat anything.” Jenn shrugged again and pushed her hands into her pockets.

  Sergei glanced over to the woods. They could still hear the occasional moan and other, less pleasant sounds coming from the trees. He scrubbed a hand over his unshaven jaw and sighed. “I’m sorry, everyone, but we’re going to need to scrub this trip and get those two back to the academy.”

  No one said anything. Disappointment hung heavy in the air, but everyone knew it was the right call.

  “Uh, I could help them to the parking lot. I mean, it might take a few hours, but it’s all downhill and the trail is easy to follow.”

  Everyone turned to stare at Janice in surprise. She shrugged again. “It’s their own stupid fault, and they’re not so sick they can’t make the walk on their own. Hell, I can carry Joshua if it comes to it. He’s not that big.”

  Someone snickered and Janice blushed and waved her hands. “Ugh, no. Not like that!! We’re friends. That’s all.”

  Pete perked up. “Yeah? I thought you two were a thing.”

  “Nope. I’m not with anyone.” Janice crammed her hands so deep into her pockets Tabi half expected the seams to pop.

  The lynx shifter moved to stand beside Janice. “I’ll go with her… uh, I mean with them. Two healthy people to help two sick ones. Makes sense, right?”

  Tabi did her best to hide her smile, and Sergei just looked bemused. “I think that’s very decent of you both. Definitely worth a passing mark, don’t you think? Instructor Molotov?”

  Sergei straightened, nodding. “Absolutely.”

  Janice brightened, and Pete’s grin grew wider. “Thank you.”

  “Why don’t we eat what’s left from last night’s foraging and break camp?” Sergei glanced at the woods. “Those two will clearly be awhile, and I’m guessing they won’t want to eat when they do get back.”

  “We can split what’s left of my MRE,” Janice offered.

  “And mine. No sense saving it when we’ll be back to civilization in a few hours,” Pete said.

  The mention of food got everyone moving, and before long, the main fire was crackling, the shelters had been collapsed, the smaller fires doused, and everything was packed and ready for their departures.

  They shared their meagre rations and washed it down with cups of melted snow. Joshua and Guy managed to get their gear stashed unaided, which was a good sign. They were shaky and pale, but a good night’s rest in a warm bed would set them right again. Shifters healed quickly, even from self-inflicted stupidity.

  Even with the addition of Sergei’s spare sweater, Tabi was chilly. She’d be alright once they started moving, but last night’s unplanned shift had destroyed her winter jacket, so she lingered by the large fire while Sergei stepped away to make a call. She hadn’t realized he had a satellite phone with him, but she should have expected it. He was good at planning for the unexpected. He was in contact with Director Cooper, arranging transport and medical attention for the cadets headed back down the mountain.

  “Hey.” Janice joined her with a nod.

  “Hi. It’s good of you to do this, getting those two back on your own.”

  “Yeah, well, I don’t see why everyone else should pay for their mistake.” Janice blew out a breath, hesitated, and then started to talk in a rush. “Speaking of mistakes, I’m sorry about last night. Dumping that snow on you was a stupid thing to do. I thought it would only be a handful, but Joshua never knows where to draw the line.”

  Her first instinct was to do what she always did: deflect and minimize. Instead, she decided to be honest. “Joshua seems like the kind of person who needs to make other people feel small. Does he do it to you, too?”

  Janice’s lips thinned, but then she nodded.

  “Then maybe it’s time you found some new friends. Ones that build you up instead of tearing you down.” Even as she said it, she realized that was what Sergei was doing for her. Not that anyone was tearing her down, really, but until he’d walked into her life, there hadn’t been anyone in her corner, either.

  Janice flashed her a tiny smile. “Like Pete?”

  “Yeah. I think he’s one of the good ones.”

  Janice glanced over at the lynx. “I think so too. So’s yours.”

  “Mine?”

  “Sergei. He is yours, right?”

  She was still thinking about her answer when her mouth opened and words spilled out. “I think maybe, he is, yeah.”

  “Cats,” Janice mused. “Who knew?”

  They both laughed and bumped fists, then Janice frowned. “Where’s your jacket? Oh crap, were you wearing it last night?”

  “Yeah. It’s gone. All I found was the zipper.”

  “I’m really sorry.” Janice took off her jacket and held it out to her. “Take mine. You’re going to need it more than I am.”

  “You sure?”

  “I’m sure. I’ve got another heavy sweater I can wear over this one.”

  “Thanks.” She took the offered garment and pulled it on.

  There was a moment’s silence. “By the way? Your unicorn is something else. I mean, I’d heard that’s what you were, but seeing you last night? Badass.”

  “You think so?”

  “Totally. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.”

  “I won’t.” At least, she’d try. Something told her it was going to take some time for her to adjust her mindset, and everyone else’s, when it came to her other form.

  Sergei reappeared and Janice made herself scarce in a hurry. Almost as if she were leery of him. The thought made Tabi laugh. They were nervous of the big pussy cat. She’d been so busy being wary of them, she hadn’t noticed they felt the same way about him. She was sure there was some deep, meaningful statement to be made about everyone spending too much time worrying about what others thought… but she was too caffeine-deprived to ponder it too much right now. She’d have plenty of time for philosophy once this trip was over.

  “Everything’s arranged.” He plucked at the sleeve of her new coat. “Janice?”

  “Janice. We’ll have to include that in her review.”

  He looked over to where the coyote shifter was carefully draping several feet of limp-looking python across her shoulders. “A lot of things are going into that review. I’m going to need your help to keep it all straight. It could take a few days to get it all written up properly.”

  “Days?”

  “And nights. Several of them.” He gave her a slow wink that made her cheeks heat. “Sound like a plan?”

  �
��An excellent one. After all, we should be thorough about this. It’s our first time acting as instructors, right?”

  “Glad we’re on the same page.” He surprised her by leaning down to kiss her with a heat that should have melted the snow in a two-metre radius. Manes and tails, she’d never been so happy to be on the same page as someone else in her life. There was no way to guess how their story would end, but she’d happily linger in this chapter for as long as she could.

  She was pretty sure the air was sizzling by the time he let her go.

  They said their goodbyes and stayed put until Janice, Pete, and their sickly charges vanished down the trail.

  Sergei shifted the pack on his shoulders and turned to point up the slope. “Alright, everyone. Pitter-patter, let's get at ‘er. This mountain won’t climb itself!”

  The sun broke through the clouds, lighting the world in dazzling colour and a lens flare that would make a Hollywood director weep.

  It was going to be a good day.

  11

  Blessed Bast, this was the kind of day he loved best. The weather was brisk but not freezing, the sun was bright, and the surrounding forest was slowly waking from its winter slumber. Even the birds seemed to know it and were singing so cheerfully it felt like they were hiking through the set of a Disney movie.

  No one mentioned it, but without the brooding presence of Joshua and Guy, everyone was in a better mood. He’d have to include that in his report. He grimaced. Paperwork. Bleh. He wasn’t kidding when he’d told Tabi it might take several days. There were things he missed about being an agent, but writing up reports was not one of them.

  Tabi though…she was a constant source of surprise. He’d expected her to be out of her element, but she’d met every challenge with determination, applied what she had stored in that amazing brain of hers, and found a way to adapt. She was better at administration than he’d ever be, had managed to keep up with the cadets in every way, and one night in bed with her had quite possibly ruined him for other women.

  From time to time he dropped to the back of the group just so he could watch her ass as she hiked up the trail. It would take them five or six hours to make the climb to their next campsite. Along the way, he stopped to give lessons in foraging, had them collect the makings for their fire-starting kits, and even gave a quick session in building fish traps. Though that was more theory than practical, given the stream they crossed was still full of ice.

  They were nearing the halfway point when his pack started chiming. No… not his pack. The satphone inside it. He’d never actually heard the damned thing ring before. It took him a few seconds to fish the unit out and scan the brief text message. The others were safe and on their way home.

  “Hey, everyone. That was a message from the Director. Your fellow cadets are on the bus and headed back to the academy.”

  There was a round of cheers. “Why don’t we celebrate that bit of good news by taking a break for lunch? There’s a clearing up ahead, and this path is used enough in the summer that you’ll find a fire pit and some logs to use as seating.”

  That garnered another, more enthusiastic response. He didn’t blame them—they were all burning more calories than they were taking in, which meant everyone was feeling perpetually hungry. It was nothing new for him, but for the cadets, it was probably a new experience.

  The cadets hurried up the path, already discussing how to divvy up the food they’d found during the morning hike and debating if it was time to share another of their MRE’s. He stayed put, hoping to steal a few moments alone with Tabi. She lingered at his side, watching the others with amusement. “I think they’re hungry.”

  “We’re all hungry. I’m just not going to admit it in front of them.”

  “You really live like this for weeks at a time? No one sneaks you pizza between takes?”

  “I wish. When I have a crew with me, they’re always camped far enough away that I can’t see or hear them, or smell their meals cooking. No pizza. No coffee.”

  “I miss coffee,” Tabi admitted with a little sigh of longing.

  “I miss steak. And coffee. And now I’m missing pizza, too.”

  Tabi looked guilty. “Sorry.”

  “You can make it up to—” he stopped talking. The woods had gone silent. The wrong kind of quiet that meant something was wrong.

  Tabi sensed it too, he could tell by the way she stiffened, eyes wide, head moving in a slow arc to scan the surrounding woods. The woods were silent. No birds sang, and as the breeze shifted direction a new scent tickled the back of his nose. Drug store aftershave.

  They weren’t alone.

  Instinct kicked in, and he dove for Tabi just as she did the same, the two of them tangling as they dropped to the forest floor. They hadn’t hit the ground before a gunshot shattered the silence. Something whined overhead. Sonofabitch. Who were these assholes? It wasn’t hunting season. Poachers, maybe?

  There were exclamations and curses from the clearing up ahead.

  “What the hell?” Danny bellowed.

  “Get down!” Annie instructed.

  It was damned good advice, because a few seconds later the woods filled with the sound of gunfire. Sergei tried to count but lost track. Either there was an entire posse of crazed poachers out here, or someone had broken about a dozen laws and brought automatic weapons into the country. Either way, they were a few miles up shit creek with no paddles. And a hole in their boat.

  He looked over at Tabi. She was facedown on the ground beside him, face white, hands fisted. “You okay?”

  “Should I be?” She hissed at him. “I’m pretty sure fine took a flying leap off the mountain the moment someone opened fire on us!”

  “Fair point. Let me rephrase. Are you injured?”

  “Oh. No.” She sucked in a breath. “Sorry. First time in a firefight. So far, not a fan.”

  He grinned. If she could manage sarcasm and jokes right now, she would be fine. “I had thought I was done with these, being retired and all.”

  The gunfire quieted, but he had no doubt the second anyone moved, they’d be a target. “We need to find the others and make a plan. Stay low, move slow.”

  She snorted. “That’s cute. The predator is trying to tell the prey how to avoid detection. Just try to remember you’re the hunted, not the hunter right now. No pouncing.”

  “I’ll keep it in mind. Oh, and this sassy thing you’ve got going on? Totally sexy. Don’t stop. It’s doing wonders for my morale.” Acting like prey always bothered him, even when it was the smart thing to do.

  “You’re insane.” She actually blushed. She was crawling through frozen mud while people shot at them, and somehow, he could still make her blush like a schoolgirl.

  “It’s a job requirement.”

  They kept up the whispered banter all the way to the clearing, and by the time they reached the others, he was more than a little in love with his little goth librarian.

  To their credit, the two cadets were cool and calm. They’d taken shelter behind a fallen log and were using the tried and tested “hat on a stick” ploy to draw enemy fire.

  “We’ve figured out the location of at least six of them,” Danny informed them once they were within earshot.

  “There’s more out there, though, and they’re not falling for the hat trick anymore. I can’t get a bead on the others.” Annie sniffed. “Though Ursa knows I can smell them well enough. Did they bathe in aftershave this morning? Ugh.”

  It was a good point. If they knew they were after shifters, they shouldn’t be wearing any scent at all. Unless… He sampled the air again, ignoring the gag-worthy odour of Eau De Cheapskate and trying to detect what was underneath. It took him a few precious seconds, but the answer was worth it. Under the reek was a musky tang he’d know anywhere. “We’ve got reptile shifters after us. They can’t smell for shit. They must think that drugstore drek they bathed in will stop us from recognizing what they are.”

  “Anyone piss off a lizard lately?�
� Danny quipped.

  “I think MUFF sent them. Who else could it be?” Sergei was too busy working out how to get everyone safely out of range to worry too much about who was shooting at them.

  Annie scowled. “Why would those MUFF wackjobs be after us?”

  “Sergei’s on their radar. The director gave him the heads up before we left. But I thought they were going to target your next filming location. No one knows where you are right now, so how did anyone find us way the hell out here?” Tabi asked.

  Danny chimed in. “And since when do they hire gunmen? We’ve studied them and there’s no mention of—”

  Sergei cut them off with a chopping gesture. “No time. We can discuss the hows and whys when we’re all safely back at the academy.” He pointed to the two cadets. “Both of you can pass for local wildlife. I need you to shift and run like hell until you make it to the parking lot. Stay off the trail for the first kilometre or so in case they left someone back to watch for runners.”

  “What? No! Uh, I mean we should stick together, sir,” Danny protested.

  “I appreciate your enthusiasm, but you two aren’t full-fledged agents just yet, and Director Cooper will skin me and hang my pelt on her office wall if I let anything happen to either of you. So, you’re leaving.”

  He rummaged in his pack, looking for the satellite phone he’d crammed inside as the shooting started. When he pulled it out, he cursed. The antennae had snapped off. They had no way to call for help. “Fuck.”

  Danny grimaced, then shrugged. “There’s a payphone over by the washrooms at the trailhead. I remember, because it’s the first one I’ve seen in years. We can use that to contact Director Cooper through the through the FUC hotline the made us all memorize. But Sergei, sir? I think you should come with us.”

  “If I go with you, then they’ll be sure to follow us, and we’d be sitting ducks once we got to the parking lot. I need to keep them focused on me, up here where there’s plenty of room to move without following the trail. They got ahead of us because we were sticking to the main trails, so I won’t use them anymore.”