I shook off my despondent mood and set my wallet and keys on the night table before sitting on the edge of the bed. I pulled the Philosopher’s Stone over my head and dropped it onto the table. A warm, enveloping cloud of gray nothingness settled over me as soon as the last link of the chain slithered from my grip and I barely had time to lie down beside Daraxandriel before everything went away.
28
There’s a side quest in Lorecraft that only becomes available if you’re at least sixteen years of age in real life and are playing a male human character. In one of the taverns in Glenhollow, a barmaid named Helgun will offer to show you a good time for a small financial consideration. If you accept, she’ll take you upstairs to her room. At that point, the screen will fade to black for a few seconds to indicate the passage of time so you have to use your imagination for what happens next, but that’s usually not a problem.
The interesting thing about this quest is not the subject matter, although it has a certain prurient appeal. It’s that the mission is actually a test of character. If you pay Helgun the agreed-upon amount after the deed is done, you get some XP, a random potion, and the Proud Member badge. If you tip her something extra, she’ll also greet you by name every time you enter the tavern and give you a free drink.
On the other hand, if you try to walk out without paying, the bouncers will stop you at the door, knock your HP down to half, and take every coin you’re carrying. To add insult to injury, you’ll also be stuck with the Wet Noodle badge for a week, earning you scorn and ridicule from NPCs and players alike.
The nice part about all this is that it teaches good habits and reinforces good behavior among the players, which hopefully carries over into real life: honor your agreements, respect other people, and keep your valuables locked away someplace safe until you need them.
Waking up was like trying to crawl out of a dark, bottomless pit filled with cotton balls. There was no sense of direction, no up or down, just a muddled, purposeless floundering that accomplished nothing. Once, I thought maybe I heard someone calling my name off in the distance, but the sound faded away and I sank back into the pit.
Eventually, though, I felt the slight give of the mattress under my back, the comfortable sensation of something warm snuggled up against my side, and the syncopated beat of two hearts in close proximity. My eyelids drifted open ever so slowly and I discovered Daraxandriel tucked into the crook of my arm, her cheek resting on my shoulder and her finger drawing shapes on my chest.
“Thou didst sleep most soundly, Peter Simon Collins,” she said absently, continuing her artistic endeavors. “I feared thou wouldst not awaken ere the coming of the night.”
“Mm.” I had a crick in my neck but I didn’t feel like moving. “I must have really needed that nap. How long have you been up?”
“Not long,” she said. “I awoke but minutes afore thee. I lack the desire to arise from my bed.”
“My bed,” I corrected her but I felt exactly the same way. My eyes were already losing their battle with gravity. “What time is it? It must be close to lunch by now.” My stomach felt hollow.
Answering that necessitated Daraxandriel climbing on top of me so that she could see my alarm clock. The sensation of her skin sliding across mine woke Little Peter up beneath her hips but she didn’t seem to notice. “Thy numbered clock states it to be three two six.”
“Mm. Wait, what?” I craned my neck around to see for myself. It was 3:26. “That can’t be right. That means I slept for almost eight hours.”
“We did spend the night traversing the town,” Daraxandriel reminded me. She laid her head down on my chest like she meant to use me as a pillow. “Our repose was well deservèd.”
“That’s not the point. Mom should have gotten us up hours ago.” I tried to sit up but Daraxandriel’s soft, boneless weight pinned me to the bed. “Get up!” I insisted. “We have to find out what’s going on. Maybe Mrs. Kendricks is ready to do the ritual.”
“There is no need for haste,” she murmured. “I am content to stay here a while longer.”
“Normally I’d agree with you but Agent Prescott is still out there looking for you. Come on, get up.” I levered her off me and she rolled onto her back with a resentful noise. “You can sleep after Olivia’s out of your head. And put on some proper clothes.” What she was wearing now – nothing – threatened my resolve.
I sat up and scrubbed my fingertips vigorously through my scalp, trying to get my brain cells functioning again. I retrieved my cellphone from the night table and checked to see if I’d missed any calls. There was nothing in the call log but there was another text from Melissa, sent just after noon. “Oh God,” I muttered. I took a deep breath and opened it.
To my relief, there was no attachment. To my astonishment, her message went on for three full screens, filled with exclamation marks and words in all caps that she didn’t learn in English class. The fury she must have felt as she was writing it came through loud and clear, to the extent that I wouldn’t have been surprised if she’d cracked her screen while typing it.
I had to read it through twice before I grasped what it was about. The gist was that I was so dumped it wasn’t funny, that I was just like all those other guys who’ll say and do anything to sleep with a girl, and that if I ever so much as looked at her sideways I’d better start running for the hills. Oh, and forget about moving in together.
“What the hell?” Melissa was clearly upset with me but I had absolutely no idea why. Everything seemed fine this morning and I hadn’t talked to her since.
“What is amiss?” Daraxandriel asked.
“Did you do anything to Melissa to make her mad at me?” I asked her doubtfully.
“Nay, I have not spoken to her ere yesterday. Whyfor?”
“When I asked you to stop making her want me, you didn’t accidentally turn the dial the other way?” She blinked at me in confusion. “She’s really angry with me for some reason.” I showed her the text and she sat up to read through it. Her glowy eyes widened as she scrolled down to the end.
“I do not ken the meaning of all these words, yet her ire is clear. Thou hast made a mortal enemy this day, Peter Simon Collins,” she said, shaking her head dolefully.
“I get that, but why? What set her off and why does she think it’s my fault? I’ve been asleep this whole time.” I took my phone back and read through the message again, trying to find some clue in Melissa’s screed that might give me a hint. Then I noticed the text just above it.
It was from me to her, sent just a few minutes before her impassioned response. The text seemed harmless – Wish you were here – but the photo attached to it stopped my heart in my chest. It showed me and Daraxandriel lying in bed, entangled in each other’s arms, with her stark naked and me nearly so.
“Oh my God!” I groaned in a strangled voice. Apparently I’d invited Melissa over to join me in threesome with Daraxandriel, except I’d been fast sleep at the time. Did I sleep-text her or something? I wondered frantically. Why would I do that? This isn’t some subconscious fantasy of mine, is it?
“Art thou well, Peter Simon Collins?” Daraxandriel asked. “Thou art most pale.”
“I sent a picture of us to Melissa!” I showed her the image. “No wonder she’s ready to kill me.”
Daraxandriel studied the picture with a frown. “Doth my buttocks seem overlarge to thee?”
“That doesn’t matter!” I snatched my phone back. “How am I going to explain – wait a minute.” I peered closer. Both of my hands were visible in the shot. “This isn’t a selfie. Someone else took this picture and sent it to Melissa.”
“Who would do such? Who bears thee such ill-will?”
As soon as she said that, I knew the answer. “Lilith,” I growled. “She must have come in while we were sleeping and seen us together. Crap! She probably knows you’ve stopped trying to get my soul.”
I ran across the hall and barged into Susie’s room. She was sitting cross-legged on her bed,
engrossed in another one of her romance novels. “Where’s Lilith?” I demanded.
“Not in here,” she said, turning the page.
“I don’t need to know where she isn’t, I need to know where she is!”
“Then ask someone who knows.”
“She was in here this morning, right? Where did she go after that?”
“Out.”
“Out? Out where?”
“Out of my room.”
“That’s not helpful!”
“I don’t follow her around, Peter,” she said irritably. “I didn’t see her again until we went out for lunch.”
“Lunch?”
“It’s that meal between breakfast and dinner.”
“I know that,” I gritted between my teeth. “Why did you go out for lunch?”
“Mom wanted to cheer Lilith up so she decided to take us out as a treat. I had a salad,” she added thoughtfully.
“Why did Lilith need cheering up?”
Susie shrugged. “She was in a bad mood.” She turned another page.
“So what happened after lunch?”
“We came home.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“And what happened afterwards?”
“Nothing.”
“So where’s Lilith then?”
“Not in here.”
I took a long, steadying breath. “We established that already.”
“So where else did you look?”
“Uh.” Nowhere, to be honest, other than my room. Susie finally looked up at me to deliver her patented eyeroll and I had to do a double-take. Her pale green eyes were always sort of striking but now they were stunning, outlined in black and framed with long, thick lashes and dark gold shadowing. It felt strange to admit it but my sister was actually pretty. A “Wow” escaped from my mouth before I could stop it.
“Wow?” she frowned. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing!” I said hastily. “Sorry to bother you.”
I beat a hasty retreat and ran through the rest of the house, even peeking into Mom and Dad’s bedroom. The place was deserted and Mom’s van was missing from the garage. I returned to my bedroom, my stomach knotting with anxiety, to find Daraxandriel sitting in her chair wearing a cotton tee and a denim skirt and tying up the laces on her sneakers.
“Lilith’s gone somewhere with Mom,” I reported tersely, rooting through my drawers for something to wear myself. I stripped off my shorts and yanked on boxers, jeans, and a tee shirt of my own.
“If she strives to do thee ill in retribution for our reconciliation, whyfor would she depart with thy mater?” Daraxandriel frowned. “How would such aid her cause? Does she seek to turn Dame Collins against thee as well?”
“Mom won’t do anything to us, no matter what Lilith says to her,” I insisted. I hope. “But you’re right. If Lilith isn’t here causing trouble, she must be somewhere else causing trouble.” I grabbed my phone and called Mom’s number.
“Peter, you’re finally up!” There was a lot of hubbub in the background and I had trouble hearing Mom’s voice. “I was starting to get worried about you. Is Dara awake?”
‘Yes, we’re both up,” I assured her. “Where are you?” Something yowled in the distance. “Is that a cat?”
“Yes,” Mom sighed. “I’m at the animal shelter. They had a sudden influx of strays so I offered to stay and help get them sorted out.”
“Is Lilith with you?”
“She was. She found a cat with a registration tag in our back yard, so we brought it down here to see if they could contact the owner.”
“Lilith found a cat?” I asked incredulously. “In our back yard?”
“Yes,” Mom said a bit testily. “I just told you that.”
“A black cat?”
“Yes. How did you know?”
“How did she catch it?”
“I don’t know, Peter. She just brought it into the kitchen. It seemed perfectly happy to let her hold it.”
“She brought it in the house?” I stared at my phone in disbelief. “She didn’t bring it into our room, did she?”
“I can’t imagine why she would. Really, Peter, what is with all these strange questions? It’s just a cat. You’re acting like Lilith threw a rattlesnake at you.”
That might have been preferable, actually. “Did Agent Prescott come to get it? Is he still there?” I asked hopefully.
“No, he and Lilith left a little while ago.”
“Lilith went with him?”
“She didn’t want to stay. I’ll probably be here all the way to dinnertime,” she sighed. “I don’t know what we’re going to do with all these cats. It’s like someone decided to clone Mr. Prescott’s cat and drop the copies all over town. Wait a minute,” she said suspiciously. “How did you know it was his cat?”
“Just a lucky guess! Gotta go! Love you!” I hung up and grabbed Daraxandriel’s hand, hauling her out of her chair and out into the hall.
“Peter Simon Collins!” she protested. “What is the need for such unseemly haste?”
“Lilith’s bringing Prescott back here. We have to leave, now!” We made it to the end of the hall before I remembered a critical oversight. “Wait, stay here. Susie!” I yelled. “Get your magic stuff!” I slammed into her room before she even had a chance to lower her book. “Why are you just sitting there? Hurry!”
“What’s going on, Peter?” she asked irritably.
“Lilith’s bringing Prescott back here any minute! We have to get Dara out of here and meet up with Mrs. Kendricks to get Olivia out of her head!” Anyone else hearing that statement would have assumed, not unreasonably, that I was certifiably insane, but Susie was already familiar with the situation. “Come on!” I tried to grab her hand but she pulled it out of reach.
“You don’t need me for that,” she said. “Go away.”
“You might have to break the spell on the Philosopher’s Stone. Mrs. Kendricks said – oh, crap!” I slapped my hand against my chest. I wasn’t wearing the Stone.
“Mrs. Kendricks actually said that?” Susie asked dubiously. “That doesn’t sound like her.”
“It doesn’t matter! Get your wand and head for the car! I’ll meet you there.”
I bolted across the hallway and grabbed everything off the night table, jamming my wallet and keys into my pockets while I searched around for the Stone. It wasn’t where I left it. I checked around my neck again and then looked all around the floor in case it had fallen off. Then I pulled the night table away from the wall and looked behind it, went through every drawer, and yanked the bed covers aside. It was nowhere to be found. “Shit! Where is it?”
“Problems?” Susie stood in the doorway with her book bag hugged to her chest.
“I can’t find the Stone!”
“Ah. Good.”
“Good?” I echoed incredulously. “How can that possibly be good?”
“If you don’t have it then you don’t need me to break the spell.” She turned away but Daraxandriel was standing right behind her, blocking her retreat.
“Did I hear thee correctly, Peter Simon Collins?” she asked worriedly. “The Stone is truly missing?”
“Yes! I took it off so I could go to sleep. You don’t have it, do you?” I knew that was a stupid question as soon as I said it. The only person who could possibly have taken it was – “Lilith! Son of a bitch! She has it!”
“Yet that would avail her not,” Daraxandriel argued. “The Stone is bound to thee, she cannot use it.”
“That doesn’t matter. If she has it, we can’t use it. Damn it!” I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to come up with a plan. I had nothing. “Let’s go,” I said resignedly. “At least they won’t know where we went. That’ll buy us some time.”
“Well, let me know how it turns out,” Susie said, but I grabbed her hand before she could escape.
“Oh, no, you don’t,” I told her. “You’re coming with us.”
“Why?”
she complained, trying to shake me off. “I don’t know anything about releasing souls from demons.”
“No, but you can throw lightning balls or something at Lilith if she catches up with us.”
Susie paused in her struggles. “I can?” she asked hopefully.
“Absolutely. Total mayhem, fire and destruction. It’ll be fun.” I ushered the two of them back down the hall.
“We could just wait here and set an ambush for her,” she suggested, extracting her wand from her bag and giving it an experimental wave.
“Mrs. Kendricks first and then epic magical battle later, okay?” I opened the front door cautiously and peered out. There were no black SUVs in sight and I used my key fob to unlock the Mustang. “All right, make it quick before anyone sees us. Dara, you’ll need to hide in the back seat.”
Daraxandriel balked in dismay. “Peter Simon Collins!”
“It’s either that or change into human form,” I told her. “We can’t risk them spotting you.”
She hemmed and hawed and finally capitulated, grumbling as she crawled into the back and lay down on her side with her knees bent awkwardly. “Lilith shall pay for this indignity,” she promised darkly.
“That’s the spirit.” Susie and I got in the front and I pulled out as fast as I dared, checking the mirrors to make sure no one noticed our departure. “Here.” I held out my phone to Susie. “Call Mrs. Kendricks and tell her we’re coming.”
Susie looked at it like it was a dead rat. “Lilith says that people should take care of their own business instead of expecting other people to do everything for them.”
“Oh, for God’s sake, take the goddamn phone! I can’t use it and drive at the same time!” As it was, I nearly swerved into the other lane trying to shove it into her hands. She took it with ill grace and tapped the screen.
“Gosh, Melissa’s really mad at you,” she observed after a few seconds. “What did you do to her?”
“What? Don’t read that!” She easily fended off my attempt to retrieve my phone.
Soul Mates Page 36
