by Marika Ray
Nora’s phone rang from her back pocket, cutting her off. She pulled it out while I walked her back to the truck.
“Sorry, I have to take this. It’s that one agent who wants us to help sponsor the US women’s yodeling team.”
“Go for it.” I got the truck back on the road while she negotiated an impressive deal where we’d supply some funds for the team—hilariously called Yodel in the Valley—and they’d advertise our subscription boxes as a joint effort to raise awareness for women’s sexual health and pleasure.
I glanced in the rearview mirror and saw Red watching Nora gesture wildly as she talked on the phone. It had only been a year, but my life had taken a complete one-eighty. This time last year I’d been a pissed-off, jaded business man with a newborn on his hands and a desperate wish for a better life.
I just had to go to Hell to find it.
Epilogue
Six months later
Lenora
I took one last loop around the assembly room, tucking things back in their rightful spots after the public tour I’d given that afternoon. I hadn’t realized it when I started working at The Hardware Store, but I’d fully picked up the mantle of battling for women’s sexual rights the last six months we’d been open. Growing up in a conservative family, I never had anyone talk to me about sexual health beyond the sex ed classes in high school. For a woman to own her own pleasure sexually certainly had not been talked about at my house.
As part of my crusade for every single woman on the planet to know the glory of an orgasm should they desire it, I’d opened up The Hardware Store for private tours and classes meant to educate adults on sex for healthy pleasure purposes. The tour this afternoon had been my second one and it was packed, leading me to believe I was on the right path.
I tripped over something in my high heels. Reaching down to the tile floor, I picked up a single black strap. Frowning, I looked inside the bin where I kept a sample of the sex harness rated most comfortable for aging individuals.
The bin was empty.
I grabbed the other bins and frantically went through them one by one, not finding the harness anywhere. By the time I tore through the whole assembly room, I had to accept the conclusion that someone on the tour had stolen my harness. Not only was it quite pricey in that it was real leather, but they’d forgotten one of the straps, which would make the whole thing faulty and potentially dangerous if they tried to use it.
My phone started ringing and when I pulled it out of my pants pocket, I saw it was Lucy calling me.
“Hey, Lucy,” I said distractedly.
“Hey, Sunshine, you okay?” I could hear Roxy in the background babbling something about “the wings don’t fit.”
I started putting the room back together again, resigned to the fact that the harness was gone. “Yeah, I’m just a little off-kilter. I think one of my harnesses was stolen.”
“From the shop?”
I snorted. “Yes, from the shop, not from my personal stash.”
“Wait, you have a harness at home?”
I bit my thumb nail. “Maybe.”
“Really…”
I could practically hear the wheels in Lucy’s brain turning. It was like she was making up for lost time in the sex department. Took her thirty-six years to find Bain and now she was in sexual hyperdrive.
“Hold up, girlie. I have a situation on my hands. Should I report it to Chief Waldo?”
“Hell yes, you should. When someone stole my sperm samples, you bet your cock ring I reported it.”
I nearly choked. She looked so innocent, but her mouth was filthy. “You know I don’t have a cock ring, right?”
“Well, you might not, but I know Jayden does, so…”
She had a point. Also weird that she knew so much about her brother-in-law.
I flipped off the lights and locked the door to the assembly room and headed for my office to check the list of attendees. My check-in list was right there on my desk. I flipped through the two pages, scanning names to see if anything jumped out at me.
“Oh my God…” My eyes zeroed in on one name.
“What? Tell me!” Lucy sounded as excited as Poppy when she stumbled onto something particularly juicy.
I sat back in my chair and tried to figure out why this particular someone would do this.
“Guess who was on my tour today?”
“Who?”
I paused, the devil in me wanting to torture Lucy just a little longer. “Nikki Quinlan.”
An audible gasp came through the phone. “No!”
I nodded, even though she couldn’t see me. “Yep. I think we might have a sexual kleptomaniac on our hands.”
“It’s just too much to be coincidence. She was the last patient here before I discovered the stolen sperm and now she was on your tour, where a sling was stolen. You have to call the chief.”
“I agree. I gotta let you go so I can call him.”
“Okay. Call me tonight and let me know how it all goes.”
“Will do.”
I hung up and called the chief next. When I told him what I was calling for, he didn’t even act surprised, just sighed heavily and mumbled he’d be right over. I used the time to text Jayden about the snafu and that I’d be late getting home. He wanted to rush over and support me, but I told him not to worry. It wasn’t a big deal and I’d rather he start making dinner. Sex toy classes really worked up an appetite.
A few minutes later, I heard the knock on the door, opening it to find the chief standing there, hat in his hand with a red stain on his uniform shirt.
“Jelly-filled get ya?” I asked, stepping back and letting him in.
“Every time,” he muttered.
I almost had the door closed when something blocked it. I looked back to see Poppy with her orthopedic black shoe wedged between the door and the doorjamb.
“Hello, Poppy.”
“Heard you had some trouble.” She raised her eyebrows and pinned me with a stare that dared me to disagree with her.
I shouldn’t have been surprised. The woman could smell gossip a mile away. Probably had these damn seagulls programmed to listen for trouble and then signal her. Now that I thought about it, she did have kind of the same beady-eyed stare as those damn seagulls…
“Well, ho-ly shee-it.”
I spun around to see the chief standing in the doorway to the assembly room, hands on hips, taking in the various equipment we had in stock. Nothing like a blow-up doll next to a larger-than-life dildo next to an assortment package of cock rings to catch a guy’s attention.
Exasperated, I hustled over to the chief to guide him to the missing harness. The guy was getting up there in years and considering I’d grown up with him, him being Amelia’s dad and all, I didn’t want him wandering around too much on his own and having a racing heart. Dads and heart issues didn’t mix. I’d found that out the hard way. Poppy’s shoes squeaked behind me and I knew she’d be right on my heels until I found a second to get her out of here.
“Here’s the bin where the missing harness used to be. All that’s left is one strap. I also have the check-in sheet from the tour. The perpetrator is most likely on that list.”
Poppy tsked behind me and I kept flicking glances her way to make sure she wasn’t trying to pocket a new toy like she had on the day that shall never be talked about ever again when I ended up at the bottom of Dildo Mountain.
The chief took my statement and a few pictures before all three of us left the assembly room and went to my office to take a look at the check-in list.
“Do you have records for who’s purchased from you before?” The chief scratched behind his ear, his face a muddy red I didn’t think was healthy.
“Uh, yeah, of course. Let me just pull that up.” I sat in my desk chair and fired up my laptop. A few clicks and the list was sent to the printer.
Poppy flopped down in one of the white leather club chairs across my office, neck craning to take in every detail of my personal space.
“Is there a reason you’re here, Poppy?” I tilted my head.
She sat up tall and looked down her nose at me. “Of course. I was concerned when I heard there was a robbery. Poor Lucy sounded right shocked when she was on the phone with you. Figured I’d better get down here and make sure you’re okay. That’s what neighbors do, Ms. Murphy.”
I nodded, eyes narrowed. “Uh-huh.”
Poppy sniffed.
Leave it to Poppy to snoop on people’s phone calls while she delivered their mail. I pulled the stack of papers off the printer and stapled them. I flipped through a few pages, engrossed in perusing the list and becoming prouder with each page flip to see all the orders we’d already fulfilled.
“There’s quite a few to go through, Chief.”
“Mayor Bennett bought a leather whip and the Dog Muzzle 6000?” Poppy nearly shouted in my ear.
I startled and so did the chief based on the “ffftttt” that came from behind him.
He cleared his throat. “Excuse me. Damn chili from the Forty-Diner is deadly.”
Embarrassed for him, I focused on the order Poppy had uncovered when she crept behind me to have a peek. “Yeah, that’s odd. Mrs. Bennett doesn’t strike me as the whip and muzzle type of person.”
Chief Waldo grabbed the papers, along with the check-in list and promised to have them back to me in the next few days. He looked so uncomfortable being there and I wanted to thank him for looking into the matter. In a moment of inspiration, I grabbed a bottle of massage oil that had just come in the mail for us to try out.
“Here. Take this home. I bet Susie would love this rubbed into her shoulders.”
He nodded and took it, probably not even sure what it was, just wanting to get out of there. Backing out of the room, he nodded again, mumbled something that sounded like thank you, and exited quicker than I’d seen his daughter Amelia move.
I looked at Poppy, who already had her phone out, thumbs moving furiously over the screen. Today’s visit had given her plenty of juicy tidbits, I’m sure.
“Okay, time to go now, Poppy.” I had a man, a baby, and a home-cooked dinner to get to.
“No-wa, No-wa!” Red raced past Jayden and launched himself at my legs the second I walked through the door.
I giggled, lifting him up high before squeezing him to me like I’d never let go. The boy was a walking wrecking ball and I couldn’t adore him more. The day he walked for the first time was the day he learned to run. He’d been full speed ahead ever since.
“Hello, my beautiful boy. Did you have a good day?”
“Nuh-uh. Daddy pushed me,” he said, his red hair a mess on top of his head.
I frowned. “Daddy pushed you?”
“Uh-huh. I fell down.”
I looked over at Jayden, who sheepishly smiled. “Okay, there’s more to the story. I took him to one of those jumpy places and he said he wanted to go in the foam pit, but he was too scared to do it. So I finally just, well, helped him.”
The smell of spaghetti had my stomach rumbling. “And by helped you mean you pushed him into the foam pit?”
Jayden snatched Red out of my arms and tickled him, their laughter filling the kitchen. And my heart.
“Tell Mommy how much fun you had, you little minx.” He looked over at me. “After that I couldn’t get him out. He just kept climbing out, jumping back in, and then repeating that for over an hour. He literally just woke up from his nap he was so exhausted.”
I barely heard what Jayden said. I was still stuck on the term Mommy. We hadn’t been calling me Mommy. Just Nora. I told Jayden months ago that I was fine with Red calling me Mommy, but he’d wanted to wait and make sure that’s something I was truly up for. He said he didn’t want dating him to mean I had to take on the mommy role in Red’s life. Crazy thing was Jayden just didn’t get that being Red’s mommy would mean the world to me.
“Hey, you okay?” Jayden put Red down, who rushed from the room, and pulled me into a hug.
I nodded against his chest and willed the tears in my eyes to recede. “I’m good. More than good.”
He pulled back and kissed my forehead. “I’m glad to hear that. I made plans for us tonight. We’re meeting everyone down at the beach for the first bonfire of the new year. No kids. Babysitter should be here in thirty minutes, so we need to get you fed.”
Jayden spun around to grab a plate and serve up my spaghetti. He looked hot in those jeans that clung to his thighs and a dark blue Henley that turned his eyes from straight steel gray to a hint of aqua. I’d never seen anything hotter than a gorgeous man being the stay-at-home parent and making me dinner every night.
I wrapped my arms around him, laying my head against his back and being careful to keep my hands off the hot stove. “I love you,” I said simply.
I wasn’t sure how life could get any better than this. All my dreams had come true. Some of which I didn’t even know I wanted. That’s the thing about life. Sometimes you get things you never asked for and they turn out to be the very things you needed.
I wrapped my jacket around me tighter. The wind whipping off the ocean was cold in January and tonight was no exception. We picked our way down the path, seeing the flicker of the bonfire, meaning someone had gotten there before us to get it started.
“Are we late?” I asked Jayden, his hand clutching mine and pulling me faster down the cliff than was safe in the dark. My messenger bag, packed with important documents and an outdoor blanket, clanked against my thighs.
“Nah. Told them you were staying late at work and we’d meet them later.”
He sounded different tonight. Something was bothering him and I told myself I’d find a quiet time to check in with him. Maybe he wasn’t as happy with the stay-at-home-dad situation as I originally thought.
“Hey, you two!” Hazel ran to us and gave us both hugs. “I baked some brownies. Come try them.”
She bounced off to grab the tray. I tried to give Jayden a warning look, but he was looking over at Bain, the two of them communicating silently about something. Jayden grabbed a brownie and bit into it before I could warn him. He choked and pounded his chest.
“Wow, these are…something, Hazel,” he said around the brownie in his mouth.
The rest of us gave each other small smiles. We didn’t want to hurt Hazel’s feelings, but what her baking lacked, she made up for in enthusiasm.
“I know, right? I used avocado to make them super creamy and carob chips to watch our waistlines. Genius, am I right?” She smiled brightly, quite pleased with herself.
As for Jayden, he looked as green as the avocado he was eating. “Brilliant.” The second Hazel turned away, he tossed the remaining brownie in the fire. It popped and shot up a stream of sparks.
Amelia and Daire were cuddled up in a shared blanket in their own little world, his lips attached to her neck like a suction cup. I didn’t envy the hickey she’d have tomorrow. Daire was just weird. Plain and simple. They’d been dating almost as long as Jayden and me, but he rarely showed up for group activities. They kind of kept to themselves and quite frankly, I’d gotten sick of not seeing Amelia nearly as often.
Someone cranked up the music and I mingled amongst the girls—minus Amelia. Jayden wandered off to do the same with the guys. We stayed close to the fire to stay warm, whispering a new game plan to confront Amelia and get to the bottom of this thing she had with Daire. He wasn’t a bad guy, but it’s like her light had dimmed since they started dating. As her best friends, we needed to step in before it got worse.
“Can I get everyone’s attention, please?”
I spun around to see Jayden standing off to the side, a mustache glued to his upper lip.
“What the hell?” I muttered, feeling like I’d stepped back in time to the first day I met Jayden.
Titus appeared behind him with the stereo above his head in some sort of ’80s movie remake. Sam Hunt’s song “Sinning With You” came from the speakers, each note carrying over the pop of the fire and cr
ash of the ocean. My eyes instantly filled with tears, a huge lump in my throat stealing my words.
Bain jumped into the mix, tossing red rose petals in a straight line, ending at my feet. Rip knelt to the side of me in a flourish, a small white silk pillow in his hands. My jaw dropped open and I glanced everywhere trying to figure out what was happening.
My gaze finally settled on Jayden. His eyes matched mine, a little shinier than normal and laser-focused on me like nothing else in God’s green earth existed. He walked toward me slowly, stealing my breath the closer he got.
“Nora.” He reached for me and my hand floated up to entwine with his as if in a dream. He kept coming until he crashed into me, his toes touching mine. I tilted my head back and took in the stars winking in the dark sky behind his head. And then he was gone, down on the sand on one knee, his eyes begging me for something only I could give him.
I sputtered out a gasp, the first tear spilling over onto my cheek. This was happening. Jayden was asking me to marry him.
“Lenora Delancey Murphy. This stupid mustache became my good luck charm. It led me to you, so I thought it only right to have it with me now when I lay everything on the line for you. For us.” His hand gripped me tighter and I wanted to sink to the sand with him. Help him get out whatever he needed to say.
“Nora, I promise to do everything in my power to give you everything you dream of. I’ll never get in your way of reaching for the stars, I swear to you. Will you marry me and Red and make us the happiest men alive?”
The moment was so perfect, I never wanted it to end. I wanted to live here forever where I had everyone I loved surrounding me while the man who owned my heart asked me to be his forever.
My knees finally gave out and I met him on the sand where we were equals. Always equals in life. Together. “Yes, Jayden. I can’t wait to marry you,” I whispered.
Jayden’s eyes crinkled at the corners and I thought his tears just might join mine. Instead, he pulled me to him, clinging to me like I could save him.
